All Chinese people love ping pong

There are lots of stereotypes about Chinese people floating around. For the sake of racial transparency, I’m going to tell you a secret: most of these conventions are applicable to my parents.

There are, however, also some idiosyncrasies that I find myself inexorably (perhaps genetically) disposed to; I eat rice every day, I drive a tiny Honda sports car, I’ve tasted dog meat and I love me some table tennis.

I grew up playing ping pong with my dad and my brothers. All my Yellow friends played it too. People associate Chinese kids with latent ping pong abilities with the exact same fervour society expects all young Black men to be good at basketball, or Brazilians to be good Volleyball.

And you know what? All my Black friends are good at basketball. My one Brazilian friend is surprisingly adept at Volleyball. Perhaps unsurprisingly, all my Chinese friends are good at ping pong. Most of my Asian friends in general, actually. Even the friend who you never thought was very Asian-y and can’t speak enough to order food at a restaurant? I promise you she or he will kick your ass at ping pong.

So I cannot lie that, if I were to have a Christmas wish list this year, these hand-paddles would be the subject of my material lust. I don’t know if they’re actually better than normal ping pong paddles, nor if they are officially sanctioned yet for use in serious competitive play. But the thought of a paddle turning myself into some sort of ping pong cyborg admittedly gets my heart racing just a little bit.

As a sports fan (and a Chinese guy) there is something exciting about a 100-year old sport evolving and possibly being completely revolutionized in a way not involving space age technology. This is a sport essentially changing the way it thinks about itself, not just changing the material of a shaft from wood to some engineered polymer. It’s rare in Olympic sports, and almost unheard of since the NBA added a three-point line several decades ago.

Maybe these will be about as relevant as self-warming skate blades this time next year, but man, check out this absolutely kick-ass promo video after the jump. Ping Pong bounces as percussion! Genius!