Spectacle: Age ain’t nothing but a number
Posted on 06. Jan, 2010 by Avril in fashion, Film, spectacle
“Seriously? It was just the two of you? You weren’t forced to go by, like, an aunt or your mom?
These exact words = my boyfriend’s reaction to my telling him I saw “It’s Complicated” this past Tuesday with a visiting friend. Understandable, I suppose. Usually the prospect of seeing Alec Baldwin’s bare clammy ass is about as appealing as the idea of being horribly reincarnated as Butterbean’s jock strap.
But what can I say? There’s just something about fucking Meryl Streep – absolutely no pun intended. The woman has crows feet and laugh lines – a cartographer’s life’s work played out across that face – and STILL looks better in her “frazzled” scenes than I do on a good day. With makeup. And low lighting. To a visually-impaired companion.
"It's Complicated" - Meryl = Baldwin's hairy paunch for two straight hours
Point is, scene after scene, I wasn’t thinking about the $12 I totally could have spent on a large Quizno’s sub combo. (Though I’m definitely thinking about that now) It was more like, ‘Goddamn, I’d like to look like that when I’m that age.’
Which got me thinking…. aging gracefully is no small feat when you’re in the public eye and there’s a world of Steven Hoefflin’s looking to immortalize you as a Madame Tussauds-looking version of yourself.
So why not give credit where it’s due?
The face of organismal deterioration has never looked this good
To Helen Mirren, for example. All hail the Queen of cellular senescence!
Or the incorrigible Mr. Clooney. He may have been born closer to first half of the 1900′s than you’d like, but the man has a vasectomy and knows how to use it. I am putty for a tailored suit and impeccable grooming. (I can even forgive the homeless stage while dating his Robocop girlfriend)
Because while some, like scotch, get better with age, there are those that do as well with added years as a piece of brie. Like our friend, Sophia here:
The scarers in Monsters Inc. could have used Ms. Loren
I already know I’ll get heat for this. And say what you will about this legend of the screen. All I know is I wouldn’t want to run into that mug in a darkened ally. Her and Valentino look like they’ve been baking poolside since 1932.
Maybe I should cut these people some slack. A lifetime’s worth of long days, stage makeup, and more on-camera appearances than P.Hilton’s cervix have got to take their toll.
Oh Mickey...NOT so fine, darling
Then again….
I loved him in The Wrestler.
But in what appears to be a throw-down match of Mickey Rourke’s face vs. the trash compactor… he didn’t even stand a chance.
Simon
Jan 7th, 2010
Goodness Sophia Loren.
How do you say Thundercats Ho in Italian?
jessekg
Jan 7th, 2010
haha. I was actually thinking: since when did old people come in to fashion?
And Yes Simon, Sophia does look like Liono.
As for Mickey Rourke though, come on, from Rumble Fish to the Wrestler that guy is the shit and i dont even care that he looks like Mask (the one with Cher, not Jim Carrey).
Even in Once upon a time in Mexico he rocks – never mind Sin City.
Jef
Jan 7th, 2010
This is maybe wrong, but yes there is that category of old that always reminds of when the little girl turns into a crone in “The Others”. Which is a top 5 scary moment of all time for me. It also works for little girls who remind of “The Shining”, so I’m not just being un-P.C. here. I’m just being that guy who doesn’t like seeing people stand in corners because it recalls Blair Witch. Anyways, I ramble. This post needs more Julie Christie though. I have now mentioned her twice on this blog, which is maybe a problem.
jessekg
Jan 7th, 2010
don’t forget Juliette Binoche and Diane Lane….
Anupa
Jan 7th, 2010
Whatever! It’s Complicated looks like an awesome movie. I love that they are making romcom’s for my parents generation/me. I love Meryl.