I Will Miss You, Olympics

I don’t know what I’m going to do with myself now that the Olympics are finally over.

The closing ceremony is flickering on a little screen in my room but is overshadowed by the massive elephant that can’t be ignored: what did I do with all my free time before I watched Olympic coverage 15 hours a day, 7 days a week? I can’t remember, and frankly, a world without the brain numbing strains of “I Believe” gently wafting through the air is to me, a world of abject horror.

I have always loved the Olympics. I watched it as a child, waking up early and staying up late, cheering on athletes and indulging in national pride. This recent event in Vancouver however, reached levels of ubiquity in Canadian culture; and I don’t mean capital ‘C’ Culture, but culture like it’s on seven television stations non-stop around the clock for 16 days straight and all our national newspapers relegated an 8.8 earthquake in Chile to a skybox because our men’s team pursuit won a Gold — type of culture.

For fucks sake, our Prime Minister shut down our entire government in the middle of an Afghan detainee scandal so that he could hang out with Wayne Gretzky and attend every curling, skating, hockey and skiing medal event he could bojangle his prime ministerial self into. Even now the camera is showing him at the closing ceremonies, no doubt planning his next slanderous television ad when, inevitably “this onion ring,” is elected to Liberal office and runs for Prime Minister of Canada.

Can you imagine if the American House shutdown for a month in March so President Obama could fully devote his time to a college basketball pool?

So yes, I think it’s fair to say that over the last two plus weeks, the Olympics have been a big part of all our lives.

I, for one, am a big enough man to admit I am going to suffer more withdrawal than a lonely manic depressive walking out of Avatar who was eating popcorn laced with heroin.

On the sports side, I am glad Canada did well. I hope there is some carryover effect to the summer Olympics, and perhaps Canadian self-identity as a whole.

The old Canadian in me is skeptical. The CTV-Conglomerate Canadian believes.

Now to get out of my Rogers contract so I can sign a deal with Bell. They deserve my money. Bell is so awesome.