The Ashcan

The LOST Interrobang: BOOOOOYA! (S6E15)

Posted on 13. May, 2010 by theashcan in Television, The Lost Interrobang

"Here, drink this. Idiot."

Knowing that the ingredients for a good LOST episode is a healthy mix of “!!” and “??” Jef and Anupa will be interrobanging the show’s final season every week. As LOST winds down to its conclusion, can its creators dish out all the needed explanations without resorting to exposition? Can they keep up the mystery without succumbing to just more mindfuckery?

MAYBE. After watching this episode I had to sit and stew for a bit. I downed a couple Tylenols to fix my headache and then did a big load of laundry. I put my clothes in the dryer but forgot to empty the lint tray for like the millionth time in a row, and then I was like damn I coulda burned down the house. I mulled about this for awhile, thought about how I lack a general mindfulness in most of my daily tasks. Then I made some toast with PB and waited for Anupa to log on. I felt OK about stuff in general. Life. And then all of sudden, which is how memory works you know, it hit me again. THE LIGHT. And then I got all angry and confused again, and everything was just one giant hatch. Hatches everywhere. Hatch hatch hatch, full of lint. Anywhooz. What was I talking about again, Mother? Oh yeah. SPOILERS: 

Jef: Go for it

It’s all you!

Anupa: You know what really grinds my gears?

BAD CGI.

Jef: Haha don’t tell me that’s your big gripe here.

Anupa: It makes up a significant portion of my gripe.

That and the wannabe LOTR storyline.

When Jacob and You Know Who were peeking through the bushes, I almost thought those dudes were Orcs.

I’m mixing mythologies, threw a little Harry Potter in there.

You know me, I get hung up on the small things.

But really? I liked LOST when it was cool and scientific, not when it was lame and fantasy RPG.

They lost me at “the light.”

Jef: I dig the sci-fi over the fantasy as well, but to be fair, it’s been playing at both for a long-ass time.

I didn’t get the LOTR feel so much — I’m like maybe the only person who doesn’t care about those movies — but yeah it had some fantastical Young-Adult Bridge to Terabithia shit going on.

Which makes sense though — it’s the one genre that the show hasn’t delved into yet, and also one of the more obvious ones to delve into if you’re doing a Strange Island story.

The light tunnel was corny.

But I feel good about it for this reason: it’s out of the way!

Like thank God this story wasn’t in the finale.

Anupa: Like honestly, this is turning into the kind of show I wouldn’t watch if it was like this from the beginning.

I mean you’re right I suppose, that at least I wouldn’t have to experience that shiteous feeling during a two and a half hour finale.

And it’s not that the story itself wasn’t intriguing or not explanatory or whatever, because it was.

And I think a lot clicked into place for everyone through watching it.

I.E. the beginning of the good/bad, us/them patterns.

And obviously the dynamic and mythology of Jacob/other guy.

But, I just feel all…sigh… about it

I guess this is the time to divulge that I’ve never been as invested in a show from start to finish so maybe this is normal?

Jef: Normal for what?

Watching a show?

Anupa: That show endings veer wildly off track.

lol

Jef: To be honest though, this isn’t wildly off track.

It’s kind of ghey.

But it’s exactly what it’s been building up to, and to be fair, it’s NOT the ending.

Which is something I really liked about it.

Now the show can go forward and end on the characters.

Anupa: K well that’s what I mean.

Maybe this feeling comes from the fact that the emphasis has been taken off the fate of our characters for the past couple episodes.

I don’t know what to believe anymore!

Jef: Haha

I am maybe sympathizing with the writers too much, but this is the situation that they’re in — everybody says they want ANSWERS, but when the writers give the answers we realize we didn’t really just want answers at all, we wanted story.

That’s the mistake most finales make, giving in to that.

So I give them props here for getting that shit out of the way.

It’s true, the characters have been put on the backburner for a bit, but like I was saying before — and this is why I have faith in the finale — the end episode is pretty much a feature length movie.

A movie that DOESN’T need to explain Jacob and Smokey.

Not sure if I’m making sense.

Anupa: No it makes sense.

They’re getting backstory out of the way to make room.

I mean, I kind of have faith they’ll deliver.

The type of following this show has created is strange; they need to bow a little.

Maybe that’s a bold statement though.

Jef: The writers should take a bow you mean?

Anupa: No, they need to bow to us a little and give us something satisfying.

Wanna talk specifics?

Jef: OK yeah let’s talk specifics — because as much as the ep as a whole was hokey, some decent stuff happened.

So, yeah. Brothers.

Anupa: BROTHA

Consciously speakin’, the fake mom scared the crap outta me.

Jef: Yeah yo she was mad menacing.

I was flashbacking to all the times you said maybe Jacob wasn’t good and maybe Smokey wasn’t bad

Anupa: I KNOW!

Jef: And here, it certainly kinda felt like the mom just fucking duped Jacob into the job because she wanted to die.

“Thank you,” she says to Smokey. Whadda bitch.

Anupa: LOL she was tooootally forcing him.

I was like, WALK AWAY.

I wish he yelled “DON’T TELL ME WHAT I CAN DO.”

Jef: Haha

Which is all great though, because I think it’s a fair guess to say Jack probably WON’T inherit the island now.

This might end on a “fuck youse two guys” note, which would be great.

Maybe they’ll just break the cycle. And go live their lives in reality 2 or whatever.

Anupa: ‘splain

Jef: Oh I mean — talking about how they showed the job of guarding the island isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. Sure, Jacob is a good guy and Smokey is menacing, but the job itself was passed on by some psycho chick.

Who, it’s implied, used her own trickery to break the rules and die and pass the job cuz she ain’t want it anymore.

Anupa: Is she really psycho though if that light shit exists?

I mean, it would be one thing if it didn’t exist and there was nothing there, etc

Wait, I think I missed all that #stoopid

How did she break the rules? She forced Jacob to drink the wine?

Jef: I don’t think she could die.

One of them had to do it or something, you know?

Anupa: Was that made explicit?

Also, on a similar topic, how did she make it so they couldn’t do anything to each other?

Jef: It’s the only thing I can get out of her thanking Smokey after he stabs her.

Anupa: Oh, I just took that as, thanks for putting me out of my misery or some shit.

Jef: Well, yeah, EXACTLY.

It was misery.

And yeah I dunno, there’s some mystical mumbo jumbo I think we’re just going to have to deal with.

They can’t break it all down, that would be ridic.

Anupa: Well see, here’s the problem.

It’s all mumbo jumbo midichlorian type shit.

UGH, okay, I’ll stop.

Jef: I don’t think so though.

To EXPLAIN it would be midicholrian type shit.

Anupa: FINE, YOU WIN.

Jef: Ahah I saw the struggle there.

Anupa: Push me down a light hole, why don’t you.

Can I ask you a question related to female grooming?

Jef: LOLWHUT

That is SO NOT WHAT I THOUGHT YOU WERE TYPING.

Anupa: Was she like epilating when she was rubbing that weaving thing over her legs?

Did you catch that?

Jef: Oh no yeah I was all like WTF is she doing??

Anupa: I hope they answer that.

Jef: And God I don’t care that she knits.

Or that Jacob knits.

Anupa: It’s not knitting, that involves two needles.

Jef: Who cares!

Haha it’s the only vocab word I have for it.

Anupa: The other thing that bugged me about that scene is that Jacob is a straight up tattletale.

I hated Jacob in this episode.

Jef: YO.

Anupa: He reminded me of my general dislike for momma’s boys and snitches.

Jef: This is my biggest gripe of the episode for sure:

The guy who plays Jacob sucks.

Anupa: Hahha yeah

I hate his heavy eyelids.

Jef: We’ve made jokes about his casting before, but here it was so clear.

Not only does he look wrong for the part, he can’t pull off this role.

When he was like “Am I good mother? Why do you love him more than me?”

Like shit, do you know what Emmerson or O’Quinn would do with lines like those?

This guy just looked drunk.

Anupa: OMG you know who he reminds me of?

Jef: Whooo

Anupa: This guy: http://www.google.ca/images?hl=en&safe=off&client=firefox-a&hs=Bxi&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&q=dr%20marvin%20monroe%20simpsons&um=1&ie=UTF-8&source=og&sa=N&tab=wi

Jef: Ahah I am pasting that link just like it is in the final edit.

Lol same beard

Anupa: YEAH GUY

Same sleazy, drunky half-open lids, same blond beard.

Jef: LOL

Like forreal though, this guy had like 10 big scenes in this episode, and he didn’t sell any of them.

Anupa: Well maybe that’s the point?

That he’s a pussy.

Jef: It wasn’t even pussy though, it was just wooden acting.

I can deal with a pussy character.

But ok, away from the actor — that scene with lil Jacob and lil Smokes playing the rock game:

It def recalls the Locke/Walt backgammon game.

Is it safe for me to say WAAAAALT?

Anupa: WHYYYY?

Jef: You think they’re building for a Deus Ex Waltina?

Anupa: LOLOL

Mayhaps

I mean, I’m scared to predict anything anymore.

I just hope Vincent is okay.

Jef: I can’t believe nobody ate him yet.

  (says the Filipino)

Anupa: I read that in a Pilipino accent.

Jef: I hope it was a Manny Pacquiao one.

Anupa: But yeah, the game playing totally brought back memories of Locke/Walt playing.

How do you see that playing out?

Jef: And the mom was like “I left it for you,” which further makes me believe she was pulling a con on them the whole time.

 Ugh I have no effing idea.

I still believe the worlds merge…

Maybe it’s Walt who ends up staying behind, not Jack?

But yeah I can’t speculate on any of that.

It’s too far out of hand.

HAHA imagine this ends with Walt reading a comic book?

And it’s called LOST?

And the last page says FUCK YOU, AUDIENCE.

Anupa: LOLOL OMG it would be like that shitty B story from Watchmen.

Jef: LOL PIRATES

Anupa: With the kid and the comic book.

Haha yeah it was totally in the ocean too.

AND THE KID WAS BLACK

OMG

Jef: THAT’S IT FOR SURE THEN

Haha speaking of fuck you audience –

I feel like the flashback at the end to the caves was the writers being all like “OH YEAH YOU SAID WE DIDN’T HAVE A PLAN. WE PLANTED THAT IN THE FIRST SEASON BITCHES.”

Anupa: HAHAHAH

I bet we’ll be seeing a lot of those in the next three and a half hrs.

Lots of spelling out.

Jef: Haha lots of “BOOOYA” moments.

Anupa: God, I don’t even know where to go anymore because this episode was kinda all over the place.

Like, wouldn’t things have been more dramatic if she died the night she made Jacob drink the wine? Instead they have this intense moment then they’re back weaving in their hut the next morning.

“Hey mom, what’s for breakfast?”

“There’s coffee over the fire.”

“Got any eggs?”

Jef: God I hate how he kept calling her mother.

Anupa: “You’re old enough now Jacob, make them yourself!”

“MOTH-ERRRRR”

Sorry

Jef: “Mother. Look at this quilt I made. Do you love it mother?”

Anupa: That was instant fanfic.

Jef: Dude, did you laugh at the beginning

when chick gave birth and then came Smokey and she was like, “I only came up with one name…”

FUCKING COME UP WITH ANOTHER NAME THEN

Anupa: I thought he was gonna be black or something.

Jef: This nameless kid, no wonder he has issues. Smh.

Anupa: Imagine they just gave him no name

And that’s why he has no name?

Jef: Like No Name brand at Loblaws?

Haha forreal, do you think he actually has a name and they’re avoiding it? I don’t see why.

Anupa: THIS is what’s frustrating.

The unnecessary details.

Jef: Lol they hate us.

Anupa: I mean, if we find out they didn’t give him a name for no reason, then I’ll be mad.

I’m hoping there’s a big reveal in the finale, he can be God with a capital G for all I care.

Jef: There’s a reason.

She only came up with one name, duh.

Anupa: LOL

You know what I hated?

And what I thought was kinda shitty writing?

The fact that she had to come back as a ghost and tell kid Smokey what was going on.

And then he just BELIEVED her.

For a kid who has been raised to believe that no other people or things exist, he was pretty gung ho.

Jef: He ain’t scared of no ghosts.

Hm yeah I feel you.

It’s just like ohhhh ok you’re my real mom.

You’re a ghost, but I’ll believe you, because you have dark hair.

Anupa: Which brings me to why did Jacob look mad AngloSaxon and brother look straight up Italian?

Jef: You know, just because blondes are Good and then it’s a sliding scale from there.

Down to Michael, who is just despicable.

WAAAALT

Anupa: FINAL:

I think I was most intrigued by the whole good/bad thing.

So, the kids were good because they were raised on the island, free from corrupt influences correct?

Jef: Yup.

Anupa: How does that trickle down to the characters we know?

Jef: Straight up Eden shit.

Anupa: Considering they’re all coming from off-island?

Jef: Jacob has faith that they can be good of their choices.

Smokey says they’re all naturally corrupt.

Things I liked:

That the yonic light tunnel is both magical but also tied to the magnetic forces on the island — the fantastic and the scientific got collapsed together.

And I like that Smokey is straight up dead. He can take on the form of dead people, so he mostly takes on the form of his dead self. I thought that was dope.

Anupa: FANTIFIC

Jef: I’m finding it hard to give this a final rating.

I kinda hated it, but I also respected the hell out of it.

Anupa: I still don’t understand why you come out a smoke monster if you fall down a hole.

Jef: Because the Yonic Light Tunnel of Life had been corrupted by coming in contact with man

…or something.

Dude I think Smokey IS the light tunnel, but crazy.

That’s the crackling in the smoke.

Anupa: SNAP

Jef: Ok maybe now I’m bullshitting really hard.

He’s both combined!

And he must be stopped!

Anupa: Must he?

I don’t think he’s that bad no more.

Jef: Uhm he just blew everybody up!

You have Stockholm Syndrome.

Tags: Across the Sea, Across the Seat, bad mothers, Brothers, fantasy, I only came up with one name, Jacob, Lost Interrobang, Lost recap, mad Biblical, s6E15, Sci-fi, Smoke Monster, Smokey