The Ashcan

How to pick your TIFF 2010 movies

Posted on 13. Aug, 2010 by jessekg in Film

Every year the Film Festival rolls into Toronto with literally hundreds of films to choose from. Organizing your viewing schedule can sometimes take days, and even then you have to submit your requests and cross your fingers that the raffle gives you your top choices. But what to choose?

Do you spend the big bucks and check out all the galas, hoping to glance some celebrity sideboob in person, or maybe you use it as a chance to actually get to ask Werner Herzog a live question about his 3-D movie about a cave, or perhaps you want to be the first to see some big Hollywood fare, like Affleck’s The Town (which looks very cool if you liked Gone Baby Gone, and how could you not?), or see if Aronofsky’s latest, Black Swan, compares to The Wrestler. Or for those wanting the Hollywood treatment of Canada (if Scott Pilgrim isn’t enough for you), there is Paul Giamatti in Barney’s Version. Then of course there are all the international films that you may never get to see again until they come out on DVD, and who wouldn’t prefer to see something like S. Korea’s Kim Jee-woon’s I Saw the Devil on the big screen? That’s not even to mention the full-on Canadian section, with new stuff from Bruce McDonald or the very Canadian sounding opener, Score: A Hockey Musical. Yes, for movie lovers, TIFF is daunting, to say the least.

Luckily for you, for the last couple years I have had a small gig for a newspaper tracking down random people and grilling them on their TIFF scheduling choices, so I consider myself somewhat of an expert on the topic.* Digging through all my past interview and finding the best and very brightest advice,** below I present to you this year’s How to Pick Your TIFF Movies.

Seriously, it couldn’t be any more easier. I’ve practically done your job for you. You’re welcome.

Tip No. 1

Screw picking the TIFF schedule. Seriously, who has time for that? In fact, don’t even look at the program. Just buy your 10 ticket pass and fill out every choice for Fubar II, which could possibly be the greatest sequel since Godfather II, Ernest Goes to Jail, and Hot Shots, part deux, all combined! That may sound sarcastic, but it’s totally not.

Fubar II is the highly anticipated sequel to Michael Dowse’s 2002 mockumentary about metal head dirt bags Terry and Dean (as seen above), and if you never saw that, just check out the trailer. This movie alone spawned more one-line random references that you will here at a party than all of Ferrell’s movies. The fact that you don’t know who is acting and who is being duped makes it all the better (although it’s clear the main characters are actors, some of the secondary characters that come into play are clearly, and sadly, just being themselves).

Maybe it’s just because I came from a hick town in Ontario, but the first Fubar summed up every single joke I ever made about a mullet-headed, tight acid wash jean wearing, moustachioed dirt bag cruising down the main street on a 12-speed bike with a case of Wild Cat Strong on the back (even though now, living in Toronto, this has somehow become cool in the ironic sense. In essence, I guess that makes Peterborough in the ’90s the birthplace of fashion?) We even used to have this great website called PeterboroughSucks.com that was full of pics of real life Terry and Deaners, although it looks like it’s been since disbanded.

Anyways, sort of getting off topic here, but then again, not really, because the plot to Fubar II sounds like the plot to a life spent in, you guessed it, Peterborough. Basically, Terry and Deaner get sick of endless drinking and arguing with each other in Peterbor…or, I mean some fictional town (actually, Fubar is set out West somewhere, so this movie actually has the capabilities to unite the entire country, cus you know there are people in every single province that can totally relate to it), and decide to look for some opportunities to make money working the Alberta oil fields. Antics continue. And honestly, that is all you need for cinema magic to happen. Terry and Deaner and the Alberta oil fields, the quintessential Canadian experience, the Bob and Doug of today’s generation, the alcoholic Uncle with the firebird who joined your family through an unbelievable act of marriage who you will never admit is actually family (not even to your own family will you utter the words Uncle ____).

Yes, Fubar II is all you need this year. And if you need more proof, just check their YouTube channel for some sage advice from Terry on why trucks are better than cars, or even better, Deaner’s twitter feed for gems like:

Half a smoke versus a beer with a smoke in it…Gotta go with the beer if it’s still fuckin cold.

Fubar II’s world premiere plays as a part of the Midnight Madness on opening night.

* This is a total lie. I do not consider myself an expert in any way whatsoever.

** Apologies, but another total lie. I just wanted to make sure you clicked on the jump, and if you are reading this, than clearly it worked so you can’t really blame me.

Tags: Aronofsky, Barney's Version, Ben Affleck is only a hack as an actor, Bruce McDonald, but as a director he's actually pretty good, Fubar 2, Score: A Hockey Musical, The Town, TIFF, Toronto International Film Festival