The Ashcan

The Walking Dead Interrobang: Vatos (S01E04)

Posted on 24. Nov, 2010 by theashcan in Interrobang, Television

Anupa and Simon sure love television shows but are way too lazy to write proper recaps about them. Compromise? They will be discussing (zombterrobanging?) AMC’s new gore filled zombie series The Walking Deadas a means to flesh(!) out their questions(?) every week. Yea, that was awful, but you knew what you were getting into when you saw that interrobang symbol.

Yay to this week’s pseudo-multiculturalism, but boo to its bizarre story arc. Also, the Crazy Guy digs holes. Keep reading, as we cover plot holes (?), annoying sisters, hotwiring cars and the vato code. Spoilers ahead.

*****

Anupa: okay, sorry

i had to listen to a Justin Timberlake song first

Simon: an essential building block to every nutritious breakfast!

Anupa: obviously

wait i don’t even remember what happened on the show LOL

Simon: AHAHA

Anupa: let me read the Vulture recap

Simon: okie doke

Anupa: okay i’m ready

So: The Opening Scene:

Simon: uh… is that the roof?

oh wait, the fishing

we’re on the ball

Anupa: yeah the fishing

i mean, i don’t blame you for not remembering

since it was so boring

i was getting a piece of apple pie when that was happening

so not into The Boring Sisters storyline

Simon: I was wondering how they salvaged so much makeup during the apocalypse

I also didn’t get their story

so, their dad purposely taught them different ways to fish because they have different personalities?

that doesn’t even make sense

that’s like teaching one child babies come from storks because they think boys are yucky

Anupa: HAHAHA right?

It’s not sweet, it’s pandering and pathetic

I would be insulted

That’s like a dad assuming that because one of his kids is kinda slow, he won’t read him/her bedtime stories: also known as GIVING UP

Simon: I would be like… so which knot is better? WE NEED FISH TO LIVE

it explains why they seem spoiled though, their dad clearly spoiled them

did you get those beats where Mrs. Grimes seems a bit envious that those two caught fish though?

it’s like she’s aware she is a useless character. that was a bit meta. or foreshadow-y.

like, when they offer to teach her kid to fish

Anupa: she basically can’t do anything for her kid except colour with him

Speaking of foreshadowing:

You knew from the beginning why he was digging those holes right?

I mean, was that meant to not be obvious?

Simon: well, I knew it was for bodies

but I wasn’t sure people would actually die

I thought maybe he was just being crazy

and they wanted to talk about the idea of authority

and, you know, your RIGHT to be crazy.

Anupa: I KNOW

WHY DO PRE-APOCALYPSE MORES AND NORMS STILL EXIST?

Aren’t zombies a fucking game changer?

Simon: they totally touch on that later in the episode!

when they meet altruistic Ludacris

Anupa: HAHAHAHAHAHAHHA

He totally looks like Ludacris, but a Hispanic one.

in America, they have Hispanics. In this show, lovingly referred to as vatos

Everything about this program is a horrendous cliche

Simon: BUT LET’S GO IN ORDER

I was so not buying Merle’s hand

they must have blown their prop budget on zombie makeup

Anupa: Also, did he jump out the window?

Is that what they’re insinuating?

Simon: there was a fire escape outside the window

Anupa: The more we talk about this, the more I realize I don’t care :(

Simon: It’s true, although I really enjoyed the ending

but, you know, we slogged through some snoring to get there

Anupa: Yes

Simon: I like how they were like, OMG he cauterized his stump he’s tough

even though HE SAWED HIS OWN HAND OFF

does he still need to prove he’s tough?

Anupa: Why did Merle’s Brother keep the hand?

Simon: I don’t know, I thought that was hilarious too

Anupa: Was it really just to slap up the kid, WHO HAD A POT LEAF TATTOOED ON HIS NECK?

Simon: I cannot believe Glenn didn’t protest when Merle’s Brother put a dismembered hand in his backpack

Ok so yeah, about that whole storyline with the other group: it was awful

Anupa: That whole thing was so fucking stupid

So they’re tough as shit, but oh okay, just kidding they’re not!

My favourite part of that whole thing was Abuela, because I love old people

I understand the premise of having to be tough because people will try and come fuck with you and steal your shit, but if they’re so “good at heart” why did they have Glenn dangling over the building at first? And they wouldn’t take their friend back, etc.! So mean!

Simon: I think they are intended to be tough to the point they are willing to kill to protect the old people

Anupa: As soon as Abuela walked in, everyone lowered their guns like they weren’t prepared to pop things off two minutes ago

Simon: like, they’re tough but they’re good guys, even though we’re supposed to think they’re bad guys

and the show is like “SURPRISE! Appearances and impressions are relative!”

except I feel like if I were in that situation

I’d be like “OMG OTHER SURVIVORS”

Anupa: Well yes

Because that’s the rational response

Can you explain why Glenn was being held “hostage”?

But then afterward he was just standing there with the rest of those peeps like that didn’t happen?

Simon: yea, like, how come he’s not angry at all

Anupa: Or SURPRISED TO SEE HIS FRIENDS?

Simon: or like “THANKS FOR TRYING TO THROW ME OFF A BUILDING”

“he’s having an asthma attack”

nice to see you too, Glenn

everyone just assumes they will part ways, why don’t they pool resources?

why does everyone gotta be so TRIBAL when society falls apart?

I would have stayed there with them

Anupa: Really?

Simon: a defended brick building with welded doors is safer than a campsite

Anupa: Truth

Simon: also, you’re IN the city so people will find you

who the fuck is looking for survivors in a quarry?

Anupa: I hate the quarry

Simon: why didn’t the idea to join forces not even cross their minds?

Anupa: IT’S CLEARLY A RACIAL THING

Simon: I’m surprised there are still fat people around

I’d be so sure fatties would be the first to go in a zombie apocalpyse

Anupa: Well yes, because running is an issue

Simon: yes

also, the world should be malnourished: the combo of cardio and diet should do wonders for their figures

and re: their friends back at camp, they weren’t like “let’s go back to camp and discuss moving here”

they were like, “have a gun. byes!”

what do you think happened to Merle?

Anupa: He stole the van?

Simon: you think?

Anupa: But if he stole the van, why didn’t he beat them back to camp?

I think with this show, when the characters say something, that’s what it is

So when Rick said “Merle”…I think we’re supposed to believe that he’s right

What bugs me is that if it was so easy to hotwire TWO cars in the previous episode, why didn’t they just do that instead of RUNNING all the way back to camp?

Simon: also, they seemed to get back pretty quickly?

word. this was Glenn’s chance to get a sweet new ride.

also, tangential: but the vatos drove a lowrider

like, REALLY?

Anupa: AHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAhHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH

straight low-lows

Simon: that final action scene was pretty sweet though

my desire for gore was sated

also tangential, last time they had to hotwire cars and beat it out of town just to survive

this time they RAN OUT OF THE CITY

no probs!

but, anyways, i digress

Anupa: No that is sooo not digressing

The truth of the matter is,

(and, let’s address this before we address what was probably the best scene of the episode)

The truth is that the writing on this show is kind of garbage

I mean, sure we’re nitpicking

But at the same time we’re not

Here’s my only defense of it: this is a show based on a graphic novel

When I frame it like that, a lot more of this makes sense

Because that medium has more license to keep the plot moving a bit

But if that were the case, I wish they would frame this show as a little bit more hyper-real

Simon: Agreed. Although, I have heard this episode deviates from the comic a bit

I am willing to give it leeway however because it is a 6 episode run

so I’m guessing writers were kind of put in a spot not knowing if they’d be renewed and trying to fit story into 6 hours of TV

Anupa: At this point, I feel the zombies are really carrying the show

However, if Crazy Guy (whatever his name is) ends up being actually psychic

That’ll change the game

Then we’ll know we’re dealing with more than just “zombies in the real world!”

Simon: yea, I wasn’t sure what to make of that

I am unaware of the comics so I don’t know of “powers” is an element

but…that would be dumb

it adds an element into a story that is already spread too thin

Anupa: Ahh, we are on opposite sides here

I think, if that happened then i’d be able to look over all the dumb-ass inconsistencies

Simon: if it became “The Walking Dead Heroes”?

because it just totally becomes a comic book at that point, you mean

Anupa: Nah it doesn’t have to be like that

Not everyone has to have a superpower or whatever

Just the addition of something that takes this beyond rookie mistakes

On the other hand, it could just be a fluke dream given the circumstances

Simon: I am surprised there has been so little so far in the story explaining WHY ZOMBIES EXIST

Anupa: Okay, so here are the characters I’m glad are dead: Wifebeater Dad and Annoying Sister

Simon: yes, i could care less about either

also, did they seem incredibly unprepared during this scene?

Anupa: Hahaha YES

Simon: like, last campfire they’re hudled around embers for fear of attracting zombies

this time, they’re all like — we’re at arts camp! tell us stories grandpa! completely not on the lookout

how did they get so complacent?

Anupa: SEE

They’re only complacent for the story to propel itself

Simon: worth noting again: women don’t fight

Anupa: Yup

Simon: but they die

and cry

Anupa: This show needs some tough bitches

Where is Michelle Rodriguez when you need her?

Simon: with the Vatos, duh

so during the scene with the sister

were you not at all sad?

because all I could think was “put a cap in her head before she eats you bitch!”

Anupa: EXACTLY

That’s all I could think too

Simon: I kept waiting for it to happen

Anupa: I wouldn’t be surprised if they didn’t do it

Because no one on this show seems to be either a) proactive or b) able to put their IRRELEVANT IN ZOMBIE WORLD emotions aside

Why is everyone on this show so emotional?

Simon: it also addresses the “why are people in zombie movies completely unaware of zombie conventions” question

like, this scenario is played out in EVERY zombie story

always, always just shoot the bitch

she’s a zombie!

what do you think they do next? only two eps remaining

Anupa: I think they move

And I think they make use of the holes that Crazy Guy dug

I think they’ll probably forget about Merle and/or run into him

And hopefully we hear from Black Dad and Son

Simon: I forsee Merle being the season finale cliffhanger

I’d laugh if the black dad and son took Merle in like they took Rick in and they’re all buddy buddy at the end, hahaha

Hopefully they run into a gang of ruthless females, undefined by cultural stereotypes

Anupa: My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy

Simon: I think we’re done, hahaha

Tags: hick zombies, hotwiring cars, Mexicans, The Walking Dead, zombies