New Years Resolutions I will never keep
Posted on 05. Jan, 2011 by Anupa in Internet, modern relationships, Pop Culture
Do you like this corny picture I found which effectively illustrates ‘resolutions’ upon first glance? Me too! But I used it to illustrate a resolution which I will never keep: don’t give in to the hegemony of Google! Like that’s gonna happen.
1. Avoid All Apple Products
More realistic but definitely on course to be broken before winter’s up is defying the Cult of Steve Jobs. This is my affectionately condescending term for Apple blowhards who talk about ‘design’ and ‘efficiency’ as if I didn’t work on a fucked up MAC for years. My philosophy, your computer works as well as you treat it. Maybe people treat their Macbooks better because they’re SO FUCKING EXPENSIVE. Nonetheless, I’m in the market for a new notebook and may make the change solely because I like the way Macs feel. HEY, THAT’S NOT A VANITY CHOICE OKAY? And it’s not like I’m vehemently against Apple products because I’ve been through three iPods and have left Winamp behind for iTunes even though its a TERRIBLE, TERRIBLE audio player.
2. Spend Less Time Online
I mean, music writer and rap nerd dude Noz summed it up perfectly with this tweet earlier today (’bout the time I gave up on this resolution):
3. Read More!
With the Internet occupying most of my time, I can make an argument for “YEAH I READ MORE…. ON THE INTERNET.” But of course, this is not what I mean. I mean spending time with dead authors and their words, or new authors and their snide, sanctimonious, totally topical-why-the-fuck-didn’t-I-think-of-that topics. My prediction is that, by year’s end, I’ll have ceded to the literary powers that be in a sublimated act of self-sabotage and will stop writing altogether. (This is where you beg me to not meet that fate.)
4. Stop Smoking Pot
5. Get Married
More my mother’s New Year’s Resolution than mine and one that I am happy to break. Marriage is for old people and I’m never growing up!! SORRY MOM :)
