A lot of mainstream narratives that follow Indian representation in pop culture are full of shit: everything’s Bollywood, and spices, and traditionalism, and anthropomorphic deities. In the hands of inexperienced commentators, sorry, but I expect nothing less. For FLARE, in the hands of a should-be-versed commentator, Anokhi EIC Hina P. Ansari (who wrote an interesting IIFA-themed piece about her director grandfather), I found juvenile, reductive drivel?

Y’all, why was none of this stuff questioned???

Re: Saif Ali Khan, “His comic timing makes you melt and he could charm his away into the heart of any parent.”

I mean, if we’re going there, my dad wasn’t even alive during Partition and he holds an active grudge so I don’t think any Khans will be doing any charming in my household. In all seriousness, why is this parochial traditionalism even being pandered to grown-ass women capable of making their own decisions?

On Deepika Padukone: “Co-starring Shahrukh Khan, this global blockbuster propelled this Brahmin beauty to the stratosphere.”

In university my friends and I met an international student who mentioned something about caste outright. Like, 17-years-old at the time, we took this to the logical, obnoxious extreme, cackling “HI, I’M RAVI AND I’M BRAHMIN,” every time we saw the poor guy. I was hella dumb in university but even then I knew to call people out on this type of bullshit. I’m thinking of insisting on being adjectized only as a Shudra sweetheart from now on.

Filmi mag or FLARE? “Chopra is a bombshell with a capital B.”

Oh, maybe an intern did write this?

AND, they used this picture of Aamir Khan:

WHEN IN REAL LIFE HE LOOKS (SMOKING!!!!) LIKE THIS:

This post is part of the Ethnic Aisle blogging project. If you’re interested in race, ethnicity, diversity and the GTA, check it out.

Up until fairly recently, I’ve really liked Kotex.  They churn out some solid product, yes.   But, as an added perk, I’d also really enjoyed their cheeky take on pad/tampon advertising that began just over a year ago.

You’ve seen the TV spots.  In one, a 20-something sits on her bed and begins with the line “How do I feel about my period?  I love it!”   The ad then systematically satirizes every cliche that feminine care companies have recycled for decades: the dancing and frolicking, the running along the beach (these, by the way, are all things I just love to do when I’m leaking vital fluids), and–of course– the quintessential absorbency demonstration using what appears to be vials of anti-freeze.

In another, an attractive actress looks into the camera and blithely remarks, “You can relate to me because I’m racially ambiguous.  Market research shows that girls like you love girls like me.”

It was genius!  By mocking what they– and others– had done in the past, the ads turned the whole, sterilized ‘let’s dance around the word period’ convention on its head.  And, for women who’ve had to digest this nonsense since they were old enough to buy YM (remember that?), this was a fun, refreshing change.

But now, it’s gotten a little… weird.  The latest commercial shows a team of women, mischievously spray-painting over a plain-looking wall mural for pads with their own bright, colourful design.  The voiceover at the end implores, “Take a stand against bland” before cutting to a shot of the new U line, by Kotex, featuring neon-coloured tampon wrappers and ‘funky’ pads with swirly designs.

"Your vagina needs culture and art, too!"

Riiiight.  Am I the only one who doesn’t give a damn what I’m bleeding on?  Apologies for bring crass, but REALLY Kotex??!

It gets worse.  They’ve invoked the sacred name of Pat Field (known for her styling on the set of Sex and the City) to conspire in the madness.  From now until June 29, you can head to banthebland.com to “make your mark on the future of feminine protection.”  The contest’s three finalists will get to be mentored by Field as they finesse their designs.  (For an added bit of hilarity, read her interview with Fashionista.com where she says that if she could design a line of tampons, she’d make them black, purple, and magenta and call them “jewel-tone woman”)

Be afraid. Be very afraid.

In any case, I’m a little alarmed by the things I’ve seen in the gallery of submissions. You probably should be, too.  With names like “Zebra Crazy”, “Sparkly Skeleton” and “Wacky Zoo”… I’ve seen the future of feminine care.

And the future looks downright scary.

Just about the sum of all human knowledge, circa the 18th century

Behold the 868 year-old Strahov monastery library in Prague.  The Baroque reading room is panelled in walnut and finished with gilded laurels and inlaid marquetry.  Cast your eyes to the ceiling and you’ll find every biblical figure from Noah to Moses painstakingly depicted in the ceiling fresco, completed in 1794.

Most impressive though: the library holds some 42,000 volumes, encompassing nearly every major book circulating central Europe near the end of the 18^th century.  Somewhere on these shelves is a four-volume set labelled “Musee Francais” – it’s believed to have been a gift from Napoleon’s second wife and just one of just four copies still in existence.

But good luck getting in.  The magnificent hall is strictly off-limits to tourists, who have had to make do with stretching their necks as far as possible beyond the velvet rope that keeps them out.

That is… until now.  Jeffrey Martin, a 34 year-old photographer and founder of 360cities.net was granted special permission to work within these hallowed walls.  Armed with a Canon 550D and the robot-controlled GigaPanBot, Martin spend five days inside the Baroque heaven systematically photographing the space from top to bottom to produce this – a zoomable, high-resolution peek inside one of the world’s most historic book collections.

Documenting the library, one snap at a time

The finished panorama is made from 2,947 separate images.  When stitched together – a process that took over 111 hours—the end result is a 40 gigapixel, 283 GB, single image that feels like a moving tour inside the library.

In fact… in some ways, it’s better than a real-life visit.  When else can you actually spy the hairline cracks and brush strokes on Franz Anton Maulbertsch’s trompe l’oeil or see the aging leather spines up close?

Ceiling fresco, completed in 1794

Then again, it’s only the lucky few who gain entrance that get to play in the library’s delightful hidden passages!

Marking the closing week of a month’s worth of hip-hop homage-paying by the CBC, the performance was basically the line-up of a lifetime for a Canadian music fan: everyone from Kardi to the Dream Warriors was there. Seriously, we were rubbing elbows with the best Canadian rappers, no contest. The show opened with Buck 65, walking the crowd through a vinyl stack of vintage cuts before bringing out current charting hero Classified who made the crowd stand for his track “Oh Canada.” That move set the tone for the evening and Glenn Gould conventions (if there actually were any) flew out the window; the crowd moved toward the stage, clapped backs and bopped out.

The next two hours were a medley of the country’s best rap tracks: Maestro’s “Stick To Your Vision,” Ghetto Concept’s “EZ On Tha Motion” (complete with an Infinite cameo — WHY OH WHY couldn’t he do “Gotta Get Mine”?), Michie Mee’s crowd-killing dancing to “Jamaican Funk” back to back with Kardi’s call-and-response “Bakardi Slang,” the bass-y “Shark” from a giddy Cadence Weapon and Shad’s hummy “Rose Garden.” I had completely forgotten about Choclair’s “Rubbin’” but was so happy he played it, and was only slightly disappointed that both members of the Rascalz (plus Barrington!) weren’t around when Red1 dropped “Top of the World.” Surprise guest K’Naan introduced the Dream Warriors who were followed by K-Os and then Saukrates. Post-cypher to end all Canadian rap cyphers, Skratch Bastid dropped the opening bars to a classic and with a “We notorious…!” Kardi went there, inspiring an impromptu performance of possibly the greatest up north hip-hop posse cut ever, “Northern Touch.” I often say that I can die happy after seeing a fantastic performance by an artist I love, but really, “Northern Touch” live (sans Checkmate and Misfit) means I can die happy.

Shouts out to all the DJs and non-performing pioneers who were also present (DJ X, Starting From Scratch, B-Cool, Rumble and one-time hip-hop video extra Dwight Drummond, who was rocking out like he’s never worn a tie on cable news in his life). Get the full rundown of the event via our pal Del Cowie at EYE Weekly.

We caught a video of “Northern Touch” from the crush. Hope you enjoy it as much as we loved the night. If you can make it to the CBC this Friday evening, you’ll be able to catch the video broadcast premiere of the taping. Otherwise, we will definitely post information when/where else you can catch the legendary Glenn Gould-housed block party.

1 to 4 from Real Frequency on Vimeo

And speaking of radio-friendly reunions, you should totally tune in to CBC Radio 3 at 8 p.m. tonight for the first ever Hip-Hop Summit presented by Manifesto, Northside Hip Hop, Dalton Higgins and Addi “Mindbender” Stewart.

The live performance will feature: Kardi, Michie Mee, k-os, Shad, Saukrates, Classified, Maestro, Red1 of Rascalz, Choclair, Dream Warriors, Ghetto Concept, Reema Major, Cadence Weapon, Skratch Bastid and “more.” My mind is racing at who “more” might be? Thrust? Checkmate? Infinite? If I witness a live rendition of “Northern Touch” I might die happy! Can’t tune in tonight? While the summit performance is closed, there will be a full day of hip-hop (including visual exhibitions and panel discussions) open to the public going down at the CBC Studios on Wellington Street on April 1, culminating in a video broadcast premiere of the Summit.

Jef and I we

We’ve all been watching the news. Earthquake footage, tsunami footage, fires, nuclear meltdowns, explosions and villages swept away. And yet there remains something distant about it. I sympathize, but I cannot begin to understand what people in Japan are currently going through. I can’t even imagine.

So it’s with mouth agape that I watched this HD, ground level footage of the post-quake tsunami slowly tearing a town to shreds. The first person perspective, quality of the video and utter lack of words puts you there in a way no news footage I have yet seen has been able to do.

I’m not sharing this to endorse anonymous online indulgence in the misery of unknown lives. This video is, literally, awe inspiring and gives me a better (albeit still extremely superficial) idea of what Japan is experiencing. Access to a video like this truly makes me feel the world is a smaller place.

via

The only on air personalities to remain with the station going forward are Melanie, Jenni, Scott Boogie and Starting From Scratch.

J-Wyze, Devo Brown, Chris Mikes, Jus Red, Dr. Jay, Spex, OTA Live, The Real Frequency, all mix show DJ’s. Even sales staff, promotions, production crew and program director Wayne Williams will no longer be part of this journey. Though they are all soldiers who were here before Flow and I know are built to move on without it.

As for the actual journey. The rumour has it that not only is Flow changing the studios to the Queen st location, but the format and the name as well. Possible top 40 sound and the name of Bounce 93.5 has been floating around as a new moniker. Did I mention Mastermind (formaly PD of the Vibe in Calgary) is in town?

I spoke to a friend just now who works at FLOW in the promotions department, but that person is not allowed to comment on the situation. There are a lot of rumours floating around – perpetuated mostly by Twitter – that the station is GONE and that is not the case. That said, the line-up seems to be pretty much decimated. Particularly shitty is the loss of shows like OTA Live, Soca Therapy and The Real Frequency. I’m sure many of us remember how triumphant of a victory it was for the The Real Freqs crew to move on up from 88.1.* And this leaves CIUT 89.5 FM (now, pretty much the last-standing sentinel capable of broadcasting independent music in this city).

We’re going to keep following this story and will keep you updated with official word from the radio station as it comes out.

It appears this year’s the year to pull in the ‘tards though because the Conservatives have unleashed a slew of commercials attacking current opposition and  Liberal party leader (the once controversial figure) Michael Ignatieff. This is in response to his threat to call a spring election.  You might remember the noise surrounding Ignatieff, his U.S. ties and “unpatriotic” statements during the Liberal party leadership run of 2006. All of this is being brought up in the commericals, which begin with the statement “Michael Ignatieff is back in Canada” (over images of the Liberal head blowing kisses to a crowd) and end with “Ignatieff, he didn’t come back for you.” See the full collection of commercials at the Tory YouTube channel.

Meanwhile, our friends south of the border have apparently graduated from bitchy insults and maligned soundbytes over damaging photos to Michael Bay-style theatrical epics. Here’s GOP Governor Tim Pawlenty‘s (Minnesota) TV spot for his new book Courage To Stand (and presumable serving some political aim too since it’s paid for by the Political Action Committee). It features a cinematic score underneath a rousing speech set to glossy images of real Americans present and past. Pawlenty’s the superhero of this montage and the sad part? It totally made me want to vote for him. TOTALLY SUSCEPTIBLE.

The irony, of course, is that with all the shiny tech, Facebook is fast filling up with mobile uploads that look like this:

Welcome to 1973, kids.  Courtesy of apps like Hipstamatic, ShakeIt, and CrossProcess, you too can immortalize your memories in the half-tones reminiscent of washed-out Polaroids without ever having to endure the polyester pants and dirty sideburns.

Once upon a time, exposure to this effect was limited—magazines, album art, maybe some billboards.  And the reason for this is simple: producing this effect was never easy.

The technical term is cross-processing.  And it’s a technique that evolved mostly by mistake.  Back when film was king, photographers noticed that if they accidentally used a chemical solution other than the one explicitly meant to develop their film, the resulting images took on a gritty, high-contrast look.  The interesting bit is that the effect was never completely uniform; depending on the batch of film, the type of film (slide or colour-negative), and how it was developed, there was a kind of unpredictable nature to the process that made it fun and truly unique.

More recently, software-savvy photogs could achieve a similar vintage feel by manipulating colour, exposure, and curves in Adobe Lightroom or Photoshop.  But you still had to have a basic understanding of things like layers and presets, which made the whole thing off-limits to many.

Now, though, all it takes is the tap of a finger on a screen.  And presto!  Insta-time travel.

The thing I find most exasperating, however, isn’t  the crazy rate at which people have discovered and embraced the look.  You can totally have fun with something without having to have some deep, technical knowledge of how it works.  (A cake baked from a Betty Crocker mix isn’t any less delicious because you didn’t mill the flour and harvest the eggs yourself—it’s just easier!)  And there’s definitely great images out there where the photo subject is well-complemented by the colour and tone adjustment.

The maddening factor kicks in whenever I see 500 photos posted up of the most random things by someone who now fancies themselves an artist.

No, your clubbing photo is not suddenly old-school because it looks like there’s a retro frame on it.

And no, your morning cup of coffee is not suddenly a masterpiece because you’ve applied a heavy-handed filter to it.

It’s kind of like… everyone’s so busy oohing and ahhing over what their iPhone can do, no one’s thinking about what their iPhone is photographing.  Cross processing can be really cool and lend a person all kinds of creative options – but it’s not a magic wand and it can’t turn a boring picture into art.  Subtlety—and at least some(!) cognizance of what you’re shooting—is totally key here.  And, unfortunately, while a $1.99 app will give you a few tools to mix and match when creating effects… overall, it generally has the subtlety of a sledgehammer when it comes to applying them to an image.

In the end I suppose, just like selective colouring and that godawful fisheye craze, this too will pass.  I’m just hoping some other things STAY in the 70′s.  Like pea-green appliances.  And Dorothy Hamill hair.

be honest; she looks a LITTLE scheming

Apparently Macleans doesn’t have a monopoly on Asiancentric racially insensitive writings. Check out this op-ed piece from today’s Wall Street Journal written by Yale professor Amy Chua titled “Why Chinese Mothers Are Superior”.

Unsurprisingly, the article (which espouses and celebrates the stereotypically strict parenting strategies that led to TOO MANY ASIANS IN UNIVERSITY) rationally defends every stereotype you could imagine about Chinese parents.

To prove I am not exaggerating, some tips from Chua about how to be a successful “Chinese Mother” (her use of the phrase as a noun will be touched on later):

• Never allow your child to watch tv or play computer games
• Never let them attend a sleepover
• Never let them be in a school play
• Never let them complain about being in a school play
• Play any instrument other than the piano or violin

So, you know, I guess Yo Yo Ma is a failure. I mean, seriously — the cello?! — his mother clearly is not true Chinese mama material. Ditto Patrick Chan’s mom, who surely let the skater chose his own extracurricular activity, or Ming-Na Wen’s parents, since she graduated with a BA in Drama (BLASPHEMY!).

Part of me wanted to consider this article might have been written and intended to be more tongue in cheek than race baiting, but the more you read the more you realize this lady is not kidding around. She earnestly believes “Western Culture” is too pandering in parenting style and the dictatorial rule of a wise and benevolent mother is by far the best route to go.

Asides from paragraphs of anecdotes about how her methods (today’s tip: call your daughter garbage!) produced beautiful, intelligently mixed-race Stepford daughters, Chua hits readers with this gem in the second paragraph:

I’m using the term “Chinese mother” loosely. I know some Korean, Indian, Jamaican, Irish and Ghanaian parents who qualify too. Conversely, I know some mothers of Chinese heritage, almost always born in the West, who are not Chinese mothers, by choice or otherwise. I’m also using the term “Western parents” loosely. Western parents come in all varieties.

Implying Chinese women who aren’t worried about cultivating stereotypical Asian children do not deserve to be called Chinese mothers is, it goes without saying, both derogatory and ignorant. It borders, I dare say, on flagrantly racially offensive. Who died and made Chua the Guandong Gaia?

By wielding the phrase “Chinese mother” as a noun rather than an adjective, Chua’s perhaps well intentioned piece (at least, the pitch probably seemed like a good idea at the time) about the virtues of parenting with discipline in the face of political correctness, instead reveals an astonishingly narrow minded perspective for a professor of law at one of America’s most prestigious academic institutions.

There are all these new books out there portraying Asian mothers as scheming, callous, overdriven people indifferent to their kids’ true interests. For their part, many Chinese secretly believe that they care more about their children and are willing to sacrifice much more for them than Westerners, who seem perfectly content to let their children turn out badly. I think it’s a misunderstanding on both sides.

Chua’s closing graphs further illuminate the problems with her argument by insinuating;

1. she doesn’t believe she has validated these accusations with her crazy anecdotes
2. she speaks for all Chinese women who have children
3. she has any idea what her kids’ true interests are since she dictated every facet of their childhood

Ultimately, all this article (and the 1000+ comments it has produced in one day) reveals is completely unrelated to culture, parenting or the psychological make up of today’s children. Rather, it seems Chua has managed to spend hundreds of words telling the world only that she believes she is the perfect mother.

Not one sentence in this piece mentions how her techniques may lack the ability to teach her girls social skills, or how to cope with real life problems that can’t be solved with equations. Not one iota of writing is spent on why Chinese mothers may not have it right in every possible facet, nor that she is not the ideal example of this esteemed “Chinese Mother” paradigm.

“Why Chinese Mothers Are Superior” I’m guessing was not the title Chua submitted, but the WSJ editor was probably correct in assuming “Why I Am A Superior Mother” wouldn’t fly as a popular dek.

/via @jenahfah