There was a time in my life when if you told me there was going to be a reality show in the vein of Jersey Shore but starring a bunch of Asians, I might have flipped out and raged and maybe used the word problematic 27 times in 14 sentences. Granted, this time in my life was before Jersey Shore, but you know what I mean. I also recycled a lot more back then and read books without speech bubbles, so it wasn’t all bad.

Anyway, here we are and K-Town, the Tyrese-produced reality show about Koreans showing their abs and being full of sass and beer, is coming our way soon. I can’t wait for it, frankly. It looks AWESOME.

Part of me wants to justify this enthusiasm to my old self, and I would probably do so by pointing out that most of the problematic images of Asians in mainstream culture have had to do with the model minority stereotype. In a twisted way, 19-year-old Jef, this is progress, I’d say, ignoring the oversized cargo pants I’d be wearing. Don’t you want people to know that Asians are able to drink, are sexy in that superficial purely physical way, are irresponsible and loud and obnoxious? That we can be all that and everything else? Isn’t that what your phase of substance abuse and bro-hugs and trying to get into fights was all about?

But all that is kind of boring and only brushes shoulders with the point. Over the past decade we’ve seen a lot more Asian faces on television. This hasn’t always been good. Representations often ranged from good to bad even within the same program (ahem, LOST). But there were a lot more Asians. We’ve seen hot Asian robots with identity issues (Sharon, Battlestar Galactica), neurotic beady-eyed Asian doctors (Dr. Yang, Grey’s Anatomy), powerfully rich purse-lipped Asian capitalists (Sun, season 4 LOST), lecherous fob-stached Asian ghost whisperers (Miles, LOST), handsome emotional Asian cops with black wives and fears of dying (Demetri Noh, Flash Forward), and frightening stone-faced Asian government agents (Detective Tao, The Closer). And that just covers the shows I watch, without even touching on the browner side of things (Indians are everywhere guy).

We’ve also won Survivor (during the race-bait season to boot), dominated America’s Best Dance Crew, repped on So You Think You Can Dance (we run this dance shit) and American Idol. We’ve seen Asian dudes get laid and Asian women empowered in one way or another. We’ve seen asexual Asian males and sexualized Asian females too, sure; there’s that awesome cool dude on Glee who had one line of dialogue all year, and that painfully hot girl on the nouveau Melrose Place who is both a doctor and a hooker at the same time.

The battle isn’t over, for sure. The Last Airbender happened, and happened recently. But the more Asian faces that get shoveled through the idiot box, the better off we are, regardless of whether those representations are wholly problematic or wholesomely progressive. I’m all about the numbers lately, quantity over quality, because that’s how we end up with choices, and that’s how the racially awkward or outright offensive representations get drowned out and look stupider. That’s how our faces get normalized, and how eventually we’ll end up as lead characters in non-race-based shows and as show runners and nobody will even noticed it happened. BAM.

So yeah, K-Town, home to a gay porn star (<-NSFW), a struggling actress, a bodybuilder, a sex worker who spells women as “womyn,” and a whole lot of spikey hairdos. Can’t wait. I am all for these Korean kids humping each other’s legs indiscriminately, or deeply pontificating about life while faded and limp-legged on the sidewalk, or saying “like” before every half-formed sentence, or pounding back shots like sushi rolls on an all-you-can-eat binge, or just generally having fun and maybe forming some genuine frienships, or whatever it is that ends up happening on that show. Because I know people like this in real life, and to me they’re just people. Hot, stupid, nice, smart, annoying, cloying, try-hard, genuine, amazing, actual people.

And every single one of them is a beast at karaoke.

K-Town: it is what it is, and it’s been worse.

(via) (and)

Because it’s not easy to write a TV recap, but gosh do we love them, every week Simon and Anupa will be discussing HBO’s latest drama venture Treme. Highly anticipated due to the critical success of creator David Simon’s The Wire, we’re leaving the egghead essays on the New Orleans-set show following musicians and people dealing, post-Katrina, to the experts and bringing you our favourite (or least favourite) moments in convenient list form. Think of the highbrow content and easy delivery like being able to grab a steak via drive thru—just because you want that shit on demand, doesn’t mean you have to sacrifice your good taste. Onward, sweet savants, to Treme:

Simon

- Obviously, we missed a few weeks. The truth is Treme at times has been hard to follow because, lets be honest, some weeks are kind of boring. What I finally got after the final stretch of the season however is a sense for Treme’s greater body of work. This show truly must be judged as a whole instead of by its weekly chapters. Unlike the Wire, which regularly KO’d viewers with raw intensity and aggression, Treme does the job by simply pounding you with body blows. By the end of the night, you might look fine on the outside, but man, you feel like you’ve been run over by a truck. Make no mistake, Treme has hit hard in its first season, exploring the extreme depths of its solid characters and, as a result, forcing its viewers to reflexively do the same.

- Davis somehow has become one of the most likeable characters on the show. And now, he is with Annie, who I have already stated my adoration for. So rarely do audiences get exactly what they wish for, but here you go folks, enjoy it!

- The suicide of Creighton was probably the most significant plot event of the season, and understandably so. Suicide is always a difficult topic and one rarely broached on television. I think the show did an incredible job portraying the complex emotions (and even logistics) involved both for better and for worse. The scene of the detectives walking away while you hear Sophia screaming “NO!” inside the house is simply heart-wrenching.

- BONUS POINTS: there’s just so much to be said for this show. I think if you were to watch it start to finish from a boxset it could easily be placed up there as one of the best debut seasons in tv history. One constant in every episode? Standout performances. Khandi Alexander has been an absolute revelation this season and deserves serious Emmy attention.

That’s all folks.

Yes, I watch Tru Blood. Yes, I know it’s essentially R-Rated Twilight. No, I don’t care.

Apparently, Snoop unabashedly shares my sentiments. Much like the actual show, the result is so stupid you can’t help but be entertained.

Cristiano Ronaldo, the poster child for soccer thighs

FULL DISCLOSURE: I am a girl. Also, I am not a female misogynist. To make things clearer, I like to watch soccer, but I’ve noticed that when I (along with my lady friends) watch the beautiful game we make some interesting observations that make the dudes around us screwface. Ranging from oglisms over soccer thighs to murmured approvals of the extra green pitch—it’s not all hetero-chick squealing—girl quips might help you learn a thing or two while you’re intensely focussed on Maradona’s coaching or Bocanegra’s captaining. At the very least, it’s better than listening to the vuvuzelas on blast.

Soccer thighs

My favourite kind of man is a soccer player. World Cup time is when girls and gays will dismiss their use’ skinny, arty misanthropes for brawny, tawny slabs of man meat. Normally, we hate the slow mo recaps that help decipher plays, fouls, goals or other more functional elements of the sport for viewers — but zoom in and slow down a thighs-splayed soccer slide? Girllllll…

The colours!

Aside from taking note of each team’s kit to help understand who is who, we like to delve a little further into squadly sartorial choices. You may overhear one girl saying to the next, Where can I get those stripy Paraguayan socks? Or, I love how they layer longsleeves under their jerseys. And it’s probably the only time you’ll hear a girl over the age of 16 say, You know, I love how blue and yellow look together. You bond with the sport through yelling and drinking, we praise our team’s well-thought-out kit. Big ups Netherlands, who make orange look so good.

Hair tips

It’s not like you didn’t get cornrows when Beckham did it. Fancy hair is to soccer what words are to books: A NECESSITY. So whether it’s floppy, bleached, buzzed, knotted or braided, we will likely dis it or praise it.

Jersey swap

Like the whole walking out with the kid thing (which has us crying tears of estrogen), we enjoy the jersey swap that happens at the end of the game. This is a sign of good faith between the players and countries and ladies love peace. It’s also the time to catch a peek of sweaty, heaving abs.

Empathy

Despite having a team that I support solidly (England) and except in the case of the USA—because fuck ‘em—I will gladly root for an underdog. Hearing us sympathize with an opposing or losing team might seem strange, but it’s our way of patronizingly acknowledging the effort it took for the other team to get there and face off against the world’s best. Underdog rooting might not evolve into full scale supporting, especially if the underdog is winning, but I can manage an ‘aww’ for Algeria or Australia. But not on Friday when the former plays England.

Because it’s not easy to write a TV recap, but gosh do we love them, every week Simon and Anupa will be discussing HBO’s latest drama venture Treme. Highly anticipated due to the critical success of creator David Simon’s The Wire, we’re leaving the egghead essays on the New Orleans-set show following musicians and people dealing, post-Katrina, to the experts and bringing you our favourite (or least favourite) moments in convenient list form. Think of the highbrow content and easy delivery like being able to grab a steak via drive thru—just because you want that shit on demand, doesn’t mean you have to sacrifice your good taste. Onward, sweet savants, to Treme:

Simon

- Not to spoil anything, but I keep reading these rumours about a real post-Katrina story that the Sonny and Annie characters might be based loosely on. A little google research will provide the details if you’re interested, but let’s just say after watching yet another episode of how sweet this girl is and what an asshole her deadbeat boyfriend is…  even David Simon can’t be that depressing could he? I hope not.

- A few weeks back I wondered if Mardi Gras would be portrayed as joyful or dissonant in lieu of the many real-life issues our ensemble cast was facing. Indeed that turns out to be the case, most evidently in the Creighton and Ladonna stories. Even the return of JAPANESE SUPER JAZZ FAN couldn’t make the day seem any more than muted in its celebratory tone.

- I found myself scanning the desktop icons of Creightons computer while he filmed his youtube video. Right at the top is what appears to be a script for Treme titled: Episode 7, Creighto… I love easter eggs, but I was half expecting to see an icon titled: suicide note. Goodman’s character is one awful depressed dude at the moment.

When we started this LOST Interrobang recap series, our central concern about this show we loved was: “can its creators dish out all the needed explanations without resorting to exposition? Can they keep up the mystery without succumbing to just more mindfuckery?”

We agreed that good LOST episodes were a perfect balance of both qualities: ! and ?. Lesser episodes tilted too much in one direction or the other. Maybe because of that central concern over balance, never once did I imagine a series finale that would fail at both. With “The End”, LOST most certainly does end on exposition, and yet also leaves mysteries hanging, and also reveals that its final season was indeed a mindfuck, which would be OK if it were a good one, which it wasn’t. Yesterday you got our first reactions to the episode; today we delve a little deeper into points of contention.

Oh, and thanks for sticking with us! Keep reading The Ashcan as Jef and Anupa interrobang the upcoming season of So You Think Can Dance? (Just kidding) (Or maybe I’m not).

Jef: Ok word let’s pan out
One main character we didn’t talk about last time was Locke.
Locke and Jack had this opposition set up really early. It was destiny vs. free will, science vs. faith, whatever words you use to slice it
Did that gel for you in the end?

Anupa: Was it Jack’s destiny to make that choice? To take care of the island?
Does that even make sense?

Jef: That’s a good way of putting it.

Anupa: They were both destined to make the choices they made
Jack to take care of the island, Locke to visit Jack and ask him to fix him
I don’t refer to Smokey as Locke because it’s not Locke

Jef: That whole thread got muddled for me with the sideways whatever-its-called in a way. Jack seemed to end up with a destiny. Locke still just kinda died and waited for everyone in the afterlife.
One thing that gets me about the finale is that the science/faith thing just gets pushed aside. Which is fine I GUESS because I wanted it to end with the personal stories. But it’s weird that science reps like Faraday and Charlotte get left behind at the church. And the end message doesn’t seem to be about making your own choices or owning your destiny or having faith, it seems to be, just. You know. Friends rule.

Anupa: I feel you on that Locke tip… why was there this whole conflict, and so much emphasis put upon his unwavering faith in the island if that didn’t turn out to mean shit?
I mean, they brought it up too in this episode… when Jack and Smokey were lowering Dez into the light hole… they had that whole exchange where Jack said “you’re not John Locke” blah blah blah
Once again, they hinted at it but didn’t really resolve it or elaborate any further

Jef: Yeah Jack has said a couple of times that John Locke was right.
But…he was only really right about the island having some magic about it.
Locke didn’t have a purpose there. Well I mean on the larger scale his purpose was to die and have the Smoke take his face and yadda yadda which ends with Hurley fixing everything with bear hugs. But if I were Locke in the afterlife, I don’t think I’d be smiling about that LOL
I’d be like “What? I’m DEAD. Fuuuuuuck.”

Anupa: I don’t really see why Locke had to die for Smokey to take his body? Why couldn’t he just have inhabited Christian’s body the whole time?

Jef: Oh yeah, no doubt. The case for destiny is weak, even though the central story, Jack’s, ends on that note.
This gets me back to my point about wanting the last island mission to be a big team effort
If Locke tells us that everybody needs to go back to the island together, they should have recalled that in the finale. Everyone should have played their part.

Anupa: Well there were too many missions in the first place… which made for confusion

Jef: Yeah and the missions were dumb.

Anupa: LOL

Jef: “We’re going to blow up the plane.”
Like, why am I watching this when I knowww that notion is like three weeks old.
You have a guy who can hear the dead’s last thoughts, and a guy who has centuries worth of knowledge about the island, and another guy who can straight up talk to ghosts…and their end mission is still trying to blow up a plane?
You know what I CAN get down with?
The implied idea that Bernard and Rose are the neo-others in a Hurley world.
That’s just peachy.

Anupa: Whatchoo talkin’ bout?

Jef: Haha, just thinking about how the cycles have changed and how things are actually different.
So instead of a fucked up white dude with saviour complex and daddy issues, we have an aw-shucks Messican dude who loves everybody. And instead of the Others who kill and terrorize either in the name of the island or to control the island, we have Bernard and Rose there who are just sweet and want to live their lives.
It’s a different geography there now, so to speak.

Anupa: Right, there’s been a change in rule of law
It’s like Smurfland now

Jef: Haha yeah. They did that in a nice way without bashing our heads about it.
Was there anything you liked about it all?

Anupa: Thematically? Not really.
I liked scenes: I liked the fight scene between Jack and Smokey, the Rose/Bernard/Vincent scene, the Sawyer/Juliet reuniting scene got me choked up a bit
I mean, I was definitely invested in the characters, but more so into getting to the bottom of SO MUCH MYSTERY.

Jef: Yo I loved that flying-fist commercial break moment!
It was horrible and awesome at the same time.

Anupa: That was like one of the most interesting shots they’ve ever had on this show, I’d venture
Let’s go to a thought I texted you about last night when I re-watched some of the episode: The lingo
There were probably more examples of it than I cared to note, but the hospital scene when Jack is about to operate on Locke and they talk before going into the OR
Locke says, “See you on the other side” and then asks Jack if he thinks he can fix him. Jack’s response is something along the lines of “if I can fix you, I’ll be at peace”
I’m sure there were more examples

Jef: Watching it again, does that kind of stuff make you feel better about the reveal? Or does it annoy you?

Anupa: It puts the annoying reveal in context
And so, in hindsight, makes it less annoying
And it makes me wonder if, in a while, I were to watch the show again with the ending in mind I’d feel differently because my mind would be looking for different things
I mean, obviously so, and I feel like I’d have to practically skip a couple of seasons because whatever happens in them is left out but ya know?

Jef: I feel you. What you were saying yesterday about Juliet’s last words felt supported to me. So I think if I were to go back a lot more about the sideways world would feel better for me. Some of it already does. But I still think there’s too much crucial stuff that was designed just fool us and nothing else. And the endgame doesn’t play for me.
I still don’t know how I feel about Desmond’s role, etc.
Speaking of Dez, an aside about Ben:
Dez woke him up by beating the crap out of him, and it appeared like he did that solely because he wanted to punch the shit out of his face — understandably — but not because he was a part of Dez’s plan or anything.
I just thought that was interesting.

Anupa: That Ben’s “wake-up” didn’t involve a poignant moment per se, but just getting the shit beat out of him?

Jef: Haha, well yeah. And also interesting that Dez, who otherwise was Mr. Creepy Calm in the afterlife, had this obvious rage moment.

Anupa: Why do you think that was?
I’m mostly talking about why that was Ben’s moment, but also why do you think Dez gave in to that rage for Ben? He’s the obvious choice, but at the same time, he’s not… why waste that effort on him?

Jef: In a way I’m glad Dez did that — it would be off for me if Ben didn’t fully forgive himself but everyone else did. That someone else still wanted to get his shots in makes sense to me, but it doesn’t mesh with the “letting go” afterlife business.
And I guess yeah, Ben was eventually supposed to wake up in his own way after dealing with his baggage, but Dez took the opportunity to do it for him. Because of the high enjoyability factor of smashing his face.
Haha I dunno. I don’t hate it. It was just kinda off.

Anupa: Well, because yeah, Alex couldn’t set it off in him?
Like it negates the point of Alex being there, aside from the awww-factor
Was Alex in heaven?
And/or Rousseau?

Jef: Yeah who knows? Who are “real people” and who are just situations set up for the characters?

Anupa: See, that’s why it’s frustrating
Also, now, what the eff was the point of Dogen?

Jef: That’s what I think we’re supposed to assume about Aaron-as-baby. That it’s not actually Aaron per se, but yeah, it reads stupid when you see the baby there in the church.
Haha you mean on the island or in the halfway-Heaven?

Anupa: on the island
I’m sure if we go back to his sideways appearance, his cameo will be loaded with super-heavenly language
I feel like there’s something we’re missing

Jef: Yeah I’m still on that Dogen-was-stupid tip. I don’t see why him being alive kept Smokey away and I don’t want to think about the Sayid resurrection ever again LOL
Oh here’s a Dogen-related thought:
When Jack unplugged the island the magic was undone for a bit. Smokes and Rich-boy became mortal, Smokes could hurt the guardian, etc.
So did Jack kill Dogen’s resurrected kid?
Not that it matters. But, you know.

Anupa: I can’t answer that, but can we ask what was going on… why did he have to plug it back in?
I’m not even sure I understand exactly why they had to unplug, plug in the first place
Unplugging would make Smokes mortal?

Jef: Yeah, unplugging made Smokes mortal. That was their loophole

Anupa: okay so that was the plan?

Jef: That’s the thing: IT WASN’T A PLAN!

Anupa: LOL

Jef: Jack was all like uhhhhhh let’s try this!
It was painful for me because you have all these people on the island who could have made that way much more plus cooler
What if Rich knew something about how the cave worked? What if Miles heard the thoughts of the skeletons in the cave and because of that learned that whoever plugged it back in would die? And that’s what made Jack made the decision to kick Dez out and do it himself?
Because as it stands right now, Jack should have just let Dez do it.

Anupa: LOL trust me, he who can withstand pain
Guess what? That scene with the plugging-unplugging was like that part in Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince where Harry and Dumbledore have to cross the lake in a boat to get the locket in the middle because if they tried to swim they’d be fucked….But, a much smaller distance.

Jef: Haha yomg I was thinking about Harry Potter too, but the one where Hermione pulls this wicked time-travel plot out of her back pocket
What was that, Azkabahn?

Anupa: YEAH! The Time-Turner
I loved that shit. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban was one of my faves.
Not AzkaBAHN, it’s not German
Or maybe it is

Jef: Yeah. The finale should have felt like THAT. Like all these pieces falling into place, and this wicked last-minute plan, and all of that.

Anupa: Yeah, it’s so true. JK Rowling should’ve written the LOST finale.
That’s the only time you’ll see me arguing for JK Rowling’s writing, because I love her ideas, but I’m not sold on her as the greatest of writers

Jef: If LOST were Harry Potter, Hermione would have just sat on the plane with her magic and waited for Harry to sacrifice himself. Like, what?

Anupa: If LOST were Harry Potter, Hermione woulda gotten them off the island in like season two
She woulda Expecto Patronum’d the Smoke Monster and made Polyjuice Potion to infiltrate the Others
DUH

Jef: LOL What Lost Can Learn From Harry Potter
Honestly.

Anupa: So, it’s the end of a buncha weeks of LOST blogging… what have YOU learned?

Jef: I’ve learned to live together or die alone, or die alone and live together forever, or SOMETHING, I don’t know. I learned that we have a destiny but sometimes that destiny is just dying. I learned that love conquers all but so does face-punching.
You?

Anupa: I’ve learned to never trust Damien Lindeloff and/or Carlton Cuse, ever again.
And also, everything is a religious metaphor

Jef: I’ve learned that JJ Abrams always gets out when the getting is good.
We also learned that black men don’t go to heaven, but neither do physicists. We learned that the most important time of Aaron’s life was when he was one day old, and that’s just sad.
In the end, do you hate Lost? Or just the finale?

Anupa: I hate the finale, which extends to the fact that I hate how much time I invested in this damn shit fuck!

Jef: Hahaha I feel you.
The girlfriend is watching from Season One right now and I saw some of it and remembered that the show really was great.
It had some of the best moments I’ve ever had with television, and maybe even movies.
I’ll see how I feel about it all after the hurt wears off LOL

Anupa: Well yes, and I think that’s why it hurts so bad.
It’s like being in a bad relationship
Just when you think it’s actually going somewhere, it fucks up
I don’t know if I can trust a TV show ever again!

Jef: Haha, I’ve been effed over so many times and I still go back.
I’m a TV masochist.
One last thing I wanted to say about the church scene—I know I make jokes, but I’m actually okay with who they chose to be there and not be there
Those were all the people who made real connections on the island. Eko didn’t, neither did Ana Lucia or Lapidus, and yeah, Michael went out on a really bad note.
Rich I’m assuming lived a whole ‘nother life and he didn’t really make friends so to speak.

Anupa: And that’s why Ben wasn’t inside

Jef: Exactly. And even Walt had his whole life ahead of him, I’m sure he has his own group of people waiting on him.

Anupa: Alrighty, I see what you’re saying
Though Aaron is then the one exception

Jef: The only one that bothers me is baby Aaron. That makes no sense. At least have him there as an adult and then have a moment that shows us Kate and Claire raised him right or some shit.

Anupa: WHICH WOULDA RESOLVED THE “YOU NEED TO RAISE YOUR BABY” ISH

Jef: EXACTLY.
And like fuck, Christian doesn’t even say what’s up to Claire and her kid before he bounces.
THE CYCLE CONTINUES.

Anupa: Wait, what about Penny though?
She didn’t forge a connection with any of the others, Dez yes, but that’s it.
Was it like, “oh shit hon, gotta make a pit stop at this chuuch before we cross over?”

Jef: Yeah, Dez.
You can tell who was mainly just a love interest subplot LOL
(LIBBY)

Anupa: (Charlotte)
Who looked SMOKING btw

Jef: Haha you so have a Charlotte thing.

Anupa: No it’s a ginger thing, for reals.

Jef: I’m kinda salty they gave me an Ana Lucia cameo but she was fully suited with the shades on. I mean, come on. Give me SOMETHING. Not even a good stare-down shot.
I would have loved if after Hurley said “Ana Lucia’s not coming?” The answer was “naww, nobody likes her.”
Any last words?

Anupa: No, just a slow-mo montage of me watching the episodes over the years set to epic strings

Jef: Perfect. Can I join? I caught some fish.

Anupa: u went offline
i’m assuming that means we’re done

Jef: Haha I’m here

Jef: hello?

Anupa: yes? I can see what you’re writing

Jef: Oh. wtf gmail
ruining our last interrobang

*DEAD*

When we started this LOST Interrobang recap series, our central concern about this show we loved was: “can its creators dish out all the needed explanations without resorting to exposition? Can they keep up the mystery without succumbing to just more mindfuckery?”

We agreed that good LOST episodes were a perfect balance of both qualities: ! and ?. Lesser episodes tilted too much in one direction or the other. Maybe because of that central concern over balance, never once did I imagine a series finale that would fail at both. With “The End”, LOST most certainly does end on exposition, and yet also leaves mysteries hanging, and also reveals that its final season was indeed a mindfuck, which would be OK if it were a good one, which it wasn’t. There’s a lot of territory to cover, so we’ve split this Interrobang into two editions. Tune in tomorrow for the continuation.

SPOILERS and spoilsports, after the jump:

Anupa: Oh man.

We have sooooo much to talk about.

Jef: Haha I know.

Just jump in?

Anupa: Should there be some structure to this?

Jef: Naw fuck it.

Anupa: Lol it’s gonna be a clusterfahk.

Jef: Yeah man.

APPROPRIATELY SO

Let me ask first

How much reading/discussing have you done since watching?

What’s the general consensus?

Anupa: Mostly womp womps all around.

Jef: Lol well make that three womps.

My initial reaction was great, now anyone who googles me can read me saying I have faith in the finale and can accurately conclude that I am an idiot.

THANKS DARLTON.

Anupa: Hahahaha… bigger than that…anyone can google us and find we wasted all that time watching/interrobanging this final, WUTLESS season.

Jef: Hahah

My thing is though, there was good stuff, in the season, and even in the finale.

Which makes the copout at the end even more craaaappppy.

Like it really made me feel like shit after.

I’m not sure what to call this new feeling I had.

I’ll call it shit.

Anupa: No, I know.

I had the exact same feeling it’s called LET DOWN.

Jef: At least have the courtesy to just suck all around then.

Anupa: Like, after it happened me and Rehana were like what the fuck and then tried to forget all about it.

Jef: Honestly man I even spent the next day thinking about all the shit I DID like about this episode.

And then came up with some excuses for the writers on some of the shit I didn’t.

And even after all that, the scales STILL tilted toward shitty.

Anupa: I mean, could you basically sum it up as “…oh?”

I dreaded this interrobang to tell the truth.

Jef: I knowwww.

I thought this was going to be this joyous occasion full of remembrance and stuff.

And now it’s a bitch fest.

Anupa: Let’s start with something overarching… looking back, can you conclusively say the season as a whole sucked?

Jef: I thought about it and the island stuff I’m still alright with.

There were burps and mysteries left dangling and useless developments, but overall, I’m still cool with what happened on the island.

And Jack’s eye-close is still a monster of an ending.

But the sideways flash?

My main thing is that I wanted the series to end on CHARACTER.

And I feel like an asshole now because it DID.

But it did it in the laziest fucking way possible.

Anupa: What feels so bad for me, is that I hate that whole last scene… where Jack is in the church talking to his dad then he goes out and everyone is there and la di da. Like, it makes me so mad to think of it: a) because it makes sense when you think about it, but I don’t think it was explained well enough and relied more on audience sentiment as opposed to anything else, and b) because it completely took me off guard… did we not just spend the majority of six seasons dealing with sci-fi stuff? And we’re gonna end with a scene from Touched By An Angel?

Where Della Reese at?

Like, it didn’t do the INTELLIGENCE of the show justice at all.

That’s my position and I’m sticking with it.

It was pretty much heartbreakingly disappointing.

Jef: Yeah I felt like I got BSGed again with another Christian allegory. Thinking about it later I was like, ok EVEN IF they wanted to go out like that, even if I’m NICE and give them that because I knew from jump one of their main touchstones has been a dude named Christian Sheppard, even THEN…..the best they have is an ending where a guy appears out of nowhere and has to EXPLAIN IT to us?

That’s really the best they got?

Anupa: It felt tres lazy.

Jef: Ugh.

Anupa: Did you get it at first though?

Because I feel really dumb… maybe I was just blindsided, but I was like… huh?

Jef: Hahaha

No yeah I got it. And that’s what made me angry. Right when Jack ended up in the multi-faith church I was like FUCK YOOOU.

Anupa: Hahahhaha I know. NON-DENOMINASHUNAL.

Jef: Also: fuck that multi-faith church!!!!

You cannot throw me a shoutout by putting a ying-yang on the stain glass and think that’s not gonna make me realize this ends with SOULS in HEAVEN.

Anupa: Did it feel more like the conclusion of a season than the conclusion of a series?

Jef: I did feel like it ended the series.

I didn’t like the ending, but there was a lot of stuff in it that’s supported by stuff as early as season one. So yeah.

Anupa: I mean, I understand the season one unifier yes… but I feel like the BIG resolution, the BIG ending came with the crossing over shit… and that timeline was only revealed this season.

I mean, I guess they paced it like that, but like you said… sideways reality is angering.

Jef: It’s angering because it’s some magic-show misdirection shit.

There’s SO MUCH in that reality that DOESN’T support it being some sort of stopover city before you fly to heaven.

Anupa: It feels almost like a “gotcha” timeline.

Jef: Yeah, it wasn’t a reveal. It was a copout.

Anupa: Why introduce the son? Why make the mother Juliet?

Why did Faraday have to wear that stupid hat?

He looked like a trenchcoat mafia hipster.

Jef: Exactly. So much of that shit I don’t even wanna get into. Like really, Desmond’s mission was to wake everyone up to being dead? When he first travelled sideways and told Widmore, “I understand,” THAT’s what he understood????

Hahaha

Let’s touch on Faraday a bit later.

Wanna start with the main characters?

Anupa: Sure.

Jef: How’d you feel about the resolution of Jack vs. Smokey? And Jack’s ending in general?

Anupa: Man, that one shot of them coming at each other.

I mean… I don’t know, you know I hated the light and then how the hole had to be physically blocked…

Like, without getting lost in the details that I hated, I can say that keeping with the whole Locke/Jack arc I liked how it ended.

I liked the faceoff between the two. I am glad that Locke died in a very real way. I’m glad Jack went out a hero because we knew he would.

I don’t get why when MIB’s dead body went down into the light he came out smoke, but it didn’t happen to anyone else. And obvi I liked the eye close with Vincent (!)

I mean, yeah, it was in keeping with everything, with some holes, but mostly in keeping.

But I would’ve felt better had that been the ending.

Jef: Haha ending on Vincent would have saved the show.

Anupa: My fav scene was stumbling upon Rose and Bernard in the jungle with Vincent.

I think those three have been my fav characters.

Jef: I think having no one else turn into a smoke monster works for me. I do believe ‘the light’ was crazy corrupted by touching Smokes, which drives home whatever darkness that dude had in his heart. It makes him more special and shit.

Anupa: Did he have darkness in his heart? Tell me, what was bad about Jacob in that origins story we got?

Jef: Yeah that’s the thing, I’m cool with the concept of it. I’m not cool with the execution of it.

And the whole unplugging/plugging-back-in thing was weirdly basic. The writers even basically have Juliette make fun of it by having Sawyer do the same with the vending machine.

But like: I don’t want cutesy meta jokes about how the episode I am CURRENTLY WATCHING is mad basic.

Anupa: I know, we are past meta, we are past Hurley stating the obvious.

Jef: And back to what we were saying, I get that Smokey should be special in the opposite way that Locke and eventually Jack are special.

But ugh, I can’t even talk about that because you’re right. In the end it just didn’t sell.

Here’s the thing: for a show about choices and shades of character grey, in the end the good/evil line fell pretty hard on some people.

MIB = evil

Anupa: ….it deals very much in b&w?

Jef: And there were mad people who didn’t make it to heaven.

Anupa: Why was Aaron a baby?

Jef: Hahahahha for no reason.

GAH.

Ok next character?

Here’s a strange thing:

I kinda liked Kate’s island ending.

Her whole “I saved a bullet” for you thing worked for me, and I liked that she followed Jack YET AGAIN and it paid off. Kate. Following. Guns. Bloaw, she offs the Smokey.

There was this scene waaaay back in season one when they were opening the hatch

And Jack says to Kate, “after we open this hatch, if we survive, we’re gonna have a Locke problem. And I need to know you’re gonna have my back.”

And she’s like, “I got your back homie.”

So that was nice.

It played out.

Anupa: You have a good memory.

Jef: Haha

Anupa: But yes, I was satisfied with Kate as well… her arc played out true to form and she got her closure with Claire.

Jef: I remember because “We’re gonna have a Locke problem” is one of my favourite lines.

Anupa: Tattoo it on your body!

Jef: (And oh they DID have a Locke problem!)

Haha but dude, in sideways purgatory

Her awakening was looking into Claire’s vag???

First off, HILARIOUS.

Anupa: HAHAHAHAHA

Jef: Second, that would be MY awakening.

How’d you feel about her “I love you” with Jack?

Anupa: EWWWW

You’re so gross!

THE FAHK MAN!

Jef: (LOL)

Anupa: UGH!

Jef: But yeah yo, Kate and Jack’s love — did it feel out of the blue for you?

Anupa: Hang on, I need a minute!

Jef: K

Anupa: I know we’re friends, but cahmon!

I’m not your broski.

Jef: LOOOL

Take as long as you need.

There is no “now” here.

Anupa: LOL

Okay, no it didn’t feel out of the blue. They were always meant to hook up…. it just never worked out for them.

On island, Kate was too sketched out and tempted by Sawyer… off island Jack was fucked up.

Jef: Haha true, Jack is so not a catch off island.

I liked it, I felt it sorta, but still, it woulda been nice if Jack and Kate had ANY meaningful scenes sometime during this season.

If they did, I can’t remember any. The wound stitching I guesssss.

You know?

And also, Kate couldn’t fully wake him up in sideways mindfuck land.

Psh, some soulmate. I’m just saying.

Anupa: Haha but dude, it was all about what gave them purpose and what really fucked with them.

For Kate it was Aaron being born.

For Jack it was knowing what happened to his father.

Jef: Haha no yeah you’re right.

It’s just funny to watch all these star-crossed lovers getting their reunion flashback moments

And then Kate comes up to Jack and all she gets is nothing.

That could hurt someone’s self esteem you know!

Anupa: How’d you feel about Shannon and Boone?

Also, I kinda refuse to believe that Shannon was it for Sayid… like he was willing to fuck over so many people to get to Nadia/get revenge for Nadia.

Jef: That’s true!

And also, sucks for Boone that he gets no awakening scene. Because really, what was the Big Moment for him?

Going to work for Locke?

Anupa: I know… hahahah plot device.

Jef: LOL his time on the island sucked pretty much.

His sister wouldn’t kiss him and then he died.

Anupa: EW

What about Sawyer?

How do you feel about that?

I will say I CRIED when him and Juliet reunited.

That was my shit.

Jef: YES. That was the only awakening where I got emo.

Juliet sold the shiiiit out of that.

Anupa: Okay wait hang on hang on:

Basically when we saw Juliet die… that was the same moment… she was flickering between “crossing over” and being in reality?

Jef: You talking about the white flash?

Anupa: No, when she said to Sawyer “we’ll go dutch” the first time we saw it.

Jef: Oh no yeah that was bullshit.

That was such a red herring.

But yeah, I guess she caught a glimpse of the future in which they would all die, I dunno.

When she said “It worked,” like what? What worked?

I guess she THOUGHT the purgatory she was seeing was actually a second reality? Just like we did?

Anupa: HUH?

THE VENDING MACHINE WORKED

OHHHH

Jef: Hahaha you think?

Anupa: I think.

I think she was having her re-awakening moment then.

Jef: Hahahah you are right. Oh man, her dying words are about a candy machine.

Anupa: I mean, the sideways timeline maybe happens within the blink of an eye.

Fuck this is stupid.

Jef: Well yeah, there’s no time there.

Anupa: I hate that I’m talking about this.

Jef: Hahahahha ok yeah let’s not give them the satisfaction of trying to figure that out.

Because likely they don’t even know themselves.

You mentioned Sawyer –

My thing with how Sawyer’s story ended is this larger problem I had with the finale in general.

He didn’t do anything!

I expected the final mission of killing the Smoke Monster and saving the island to be this big team ordeal tying together everyone’s skills and core characteristics and shit.

So yeah, Kate’s part was good, as was Jack’s.

But I wanted Sawyer to pull a con on Smokes.

I wanted them to need Miles to talk to the dead.

Lapidus flew the plane, okay, but what about everyone else with cool skills you know?

Anupa: Richard’s skills failed (not-aging skills).

Even Hurley’s eating and/or humor skills could’ve been put to use.

Instead he cried like five million times, WHICH BROKE MY HEART EVERY SINGLE TIME.

Jef: Haha yeah he’s a sad puppy.

Okay yeah: Hurley as the island guardian!

That was a curveball. It was almost too much of a curveball. I liked it. But the writers didn’t really earn that I don’t think.

Anupa: It was too much of a curveball.

Why Hurley? Like I don’t get it.

Is it because the bird yelled his name?

Jef: That bird knew everything!

I mean, I feel it on a certain level.

Hurley’s cool, he’s nice, it’s a good way to break the pattern.

He’s Mexican and bashful, which breaks the white-saviour complex cycle.

But like yeah the overall feeling is still HUUUH?

Anupa: Yeah, that’s how I feel.

Like, oh, nice.

But, to quote Scooby Doo, “Arrooo?”

And his patna was Ben… who confuses me so much, was he bad or good? He baited out Widmore and co. so that Smokey wouldn’t kill him but then he switched allegiances, yet again.

Jef: Yeah I still feel it’s messed that a mass murderer like Ben gets a chance to go into the light (even though he doesn’t take it), whereas someone like Michael is damned for eternity.

At least Mike was driven by his love for his son. Ben was mostly driven by ambition and just straight up neediness.

Anupa: But he was a nice guy during his sideways timeline.

Jef: Well shit, like I’m sure Michael would be a nice guy too in fantasy no-issues land, if his soul wasn’t stuck on the island.

I think I’m just salty I didn’t get my Waaaalt moment lol.

Anupa: My head hurts.

To be continued…

Carrying on the proud exploitative tradition of the Scarface School Play, we here have kids reenacting TMZ’s television show, right down to Harvey Levin’s ubiquitous plastic water bottle. Despite the played to death “let’s have kids act inappropriately” gimmick, I remain duly impressed with the level of attention put into this parody. Personal favourites include the shin level camera shots (“WHY IS A BABY HOLDING A CAMERA?”) and belligerent Grover. Of note, this TMZ farce is only two minutes long and acted with kids, but still more intelligent than the unfortunate porn riff on TMZ. That link is awesome by the way. The only thing funnier than porn is its trailers; particularly when most of it centres around boobs-mc-bizarro Jessica Simpson and a bucket of fried chicken.

"But it turned out that the call was coming from INSIDE THE HOUSE!"

Knowing that the ingredients for a good LOST episode is a healthy mix of “!!” and “??” Jef and Anupa will be interrobanging the show’s final season every week. As LOST winds down to its conclusion, can its creators dish out all the needed explanations without resorting to exposition? Can they keep up the mystery without succumbing to just more mindfuckery?

This was it. “What They Died For” was the last “set up episode” of Lost we’ll ever sit through, and it set some shit up! Last week we got the back story, this week those ideas were applied to actions and during the finale this Sunday, we’ll see how it all plays out. We’re down to the Oceanic Four: Kate, Jack, Sawyer and Hurley, finally powwow-ing with Jacob, being given the tools to fight off Smocke. And on the other side of the island, Ben and Smocke are traipsing through the jungle, on the search for Desmond—the fail-safe. Off-island, all signs point to most of our pals converging at a museum benefit concert. What does the finale promise? Two full-cast showdowns happening in two different realities. This is gonna be redonk, guys. In the meantime, tally ho! (Do I really need to warn for spoilers?) SIGH. SPOILERSSZ.

Jef: I’m actually kind of sad

This is our PENULTIMATE interrobang

Everyone kept saying penultimate all week.

Anupa: yeah, OMG, I can make plans next Tuesday night! But we won’t have our weekly chats, where we catch up on each other’s lives and generally enjoy each other’s company online.

Can I advocate a theory?

Jef: Go

Anupa: I actually think this is hole-proof: so in the first episode we saw the island underwater and now we know Smokey can’t get off or things will be fucked so they gotta kill him.

So what if they sink the island…TO PUT OUT THE SMOKE?

Jef: I feel you!

In this episode when Ben asked Smoke why he walks, he answered because he likes the feel of grass between his toes or something

(Good moment!)

But I was like: BUT WHY DO YOU LIKE ROWING BOATS, SMOKE?

WHY DO YOU LIKE ROWING BOATS?

Anupa: EXACTLY.

Jef: So yeah maybe you’re right.

Water.

Haha that would be mad Shyamalan Signs

Anupa: It would be so perfectly logical.

HAHAHAHAH IT WOULD BE

That movie was really shit.

Jef: It really was!

Anupa: Okay well now that I feel we solved it, I have nothing more to discuss.

Jef: K thanks bye guys.

Ok let’s start back at jump: we start with Jack looking at his neck hole

It’s funny that we’ve come to the point that this show is already mirroring what happened just 15 episodes ago or whatever.

If it went to season 7 each episode would just mirror the last, until the scenes are just exactly the same.

Anupa: LOL

Jef: I still don’t get the wound though!

Anupa: Me neither. I feel like these things are details that will hopefully get explained away.

Jef: Oh yeah, I’m sure it’s tied to whatever happens to Jack in the finale.

Which maybe means VAMPIRES.

Aha imagine?

Anupa: Robert Pattinson cameo!

*swoon*

Jef: Stop swooning for him! It devalues your other swoons.

Anupa: Speaking of swoons, and people who have worked with Robert Pattinson, last week’s episode threw me off and I was confused when Claire walked into Jack’s dining room. The flow was really disrupted with that mythology episode last week eh?

Jef: Oh word, yes. Yeah I had a hard time placing where everyone was.

Anupa: (Also roomie remarked that Claire was cute as a button in this scene).

Jef: Like…what happened to crazy island Claire? Not that she had to be in this episode, but her absence was jarring.

Roomie gets a hi-five

Anupa: She is with Locke, on the docke

Jef: Oh and speaking of the randoms

I cannot fucking believe Miles made it to the finale! That is so awesome.

Anupa: HAHHAHA and he’s still shifty and awesome

He’s gotten by on oneliners

Jef: Haha yeah one-liners and generall ducking.

He’s always “Wha? Peace I’m out.”

Anupa: The comment he made about living on the island before Ben (“yeah, like last week”) was both funny and interesting

Jef: Yeah guy, it’s been one week?

Anupa: What’s the timeline been? It hasn’t literally been a week right?

Jef: That’s crazy.

It could be though, yeah! They haven’t really done much when you think about it. Just escaped from a temple and saw a lighthouse and shit.

(And died.)

Anupa: This show really needs to be watched nonstop, as you subsist on Cheetos and Coke and stay up super late and wake up super early anyway to keep watching.

Jef: I’m saying

I still can’t believe how y’all watched this one ep a week for six years. (For those who don’t know, I marathoned through seasons 1-5 on DVD right before this season’s premiere).

Anupa: So Miles took off, Richard wanted to be diplomatic and got shoved, and Ben baited out Widdy and Liz Lemon

Jef: Haha man that Richard-shove was so embarassing. Like, we’ve all seen that happen or been that dude.

Anupa: What do you think Ben’s deal is?

Jef: Ben is back to being BEN, which I love

He’s got something up his sleeve for sure.

And I loved loved loved the way he murked Widmore.

Anupa: YEAH

I’d venture to say that shit was gully.

Jef: It’s true. Gully is back, and it’s Ben Linus

Anupa: You know what’s even more amazing?

That Ben shot a person, but was also so honourable in this episode

God, if there’s any reason to advocate for the sideways timeline being the “better” version of their lives, Ben is the prime example

He’s so different

Jef: Yeah, he was both. It’s been a great journey with dude; remember when he was just this big mystery? This ep was good for just showing Ben at 100 per cent, a cold-ass murderer but also a big teddy bear.

Dude, what happened to Miles?

Wasn’t he is the secret room with Widdy and Mz. Lemon?

Anupa: No he ran off remember?

Ben gave him the walkie talkie

Jef: Ahh word

Shit, he’s all alone.

Haha he’s gonna die, isn’t he?

Anupa: Dude, he’ll prob just grab the outrigger and bail.

Jef: Prob after pulling a ghost-whisperer last act save or something, but yeah right?

Haha that would be awesome.

Anupa: You’re projecting your Asian hopes and dreams onto Miles

Jef: Shit, can’t a dude just like Miles because he’s awesome?

*gets uppity*

Anupa: He’s awesome because he’d so bail

LOL NOOO you said UPPITY!!

Jef: Wanna jump to LA for a bit?

You got your wish. You saw Rousseau all fresh and clean.

Anupa: That made me happy

I love me some Rousseau.

Jef: “Even if we have to kidnap you”

womp womp

Anupa: Haha i know right.

Do you think her and Ben will hook up?

Jef: Yes! I wanted them to do that white middle-aged kitchen kiss that happens in every movie.

I felt the chem!

Anupa: LOL I can’t visualize what you’re talking about BUT I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN.

Jef: Yeah don’t ask me for an example. But it happens!

Anupa: Jesus this episode was piecey as hell eh?

Dez wanted to help Locke “let go” and in the process forced Ben to have visions of the timeline-as-we-know-it. He then went and turned himself into the police for running over Locke and beating up Ben and ended up in the same holding cell as Sayid and Kate at the same prison as Sawyer and Miles, who are later going to a concert at Miles’ dad’s museum.

On their way to county, Dez breaks Kate and Sayid out with the help of Hurley (and Ana Lucia). Those four are also headed to the concert. The concert is also where Jack is supposed to be heading, after he meets with Locke who is now convinced he needs to “let go.” Jack is going there because his son is playing piano. His babymoms will also be there (I’m thinking Juliet).

Jef: Sidenote: Dez has been walking around match-making and hitting people with cars. It’s funny that this whole time he really could have just been punching people in the face.

Anupa: I know right? Talk about unnecessary force.

What do you think is going to happen? And what role does Dez play in all of this?

Jef: Shit, all that and I have no answer for you.

Which I LOVE.

I have no idea what’s going on.

Anupa: It’s played out quite beautifully

Jef: It has, definitely. And it feels good, I’ve been riding for them but also nervous that they’ll drop the ball regardless.

But I am so ready for the finale.

Anupa: LOL it feels like the ending of White Teeth!! Hopefully something stupid with a mouse doesn’t happen to fuck it all up!

Jef: HAHAHAHAHA

Anupa: Where the Chalfens at?

Jef: The end.

I just want to throw in there that I don’t care what anyone says, Michelle Rodriguez is my girrrrl

Anupa: Yo, she’s fine as hell. And crazy. I love that. If I were a lesbian, I’d pursue her.

Jef: Those multi-r’s look mad stupid but I’m sticking to them—all of them

YES THANK YOU.

And I do not care one bit that she always plays the same role.

It’s a fucking fantastic role, and more people should use it!

Anupa: She is the consummate tough Latina chick, the hardened little sister of three cholos. Who plays on the side of the good guys, but turns an eye to her sibling’s

trangressions because it’s family first.

Jef: LOL. Yeah whatever she is, I’d like a piece of it.

Anupa: Okay, I have a question: Jacob needs to find a replacement because Smokey’s figured out a way to kill him and therefore get off the island, but….Jacob’s been dead for like, a while now

Jef: A week!

Anupa: Okay, so what? Magic applies only some of the time? Like, if the guy is dead can’t he leave?

What I’m trying to say is this: Jacob’s had like millions of years or whatever it is to find a replacement, but he slacked and got himself killed

Jef: Ahahhahah

Anupa: He shouldn’t get an extension on finding a replacement! It’s too late! HE DEAD.

Jef: I don’t think he slacked though (though judging by his eyebags, yes. He did.)

I kinda just thought he’s been bringing people there for years and they’ve all been shitheads

Anupa: Yeah I get that. But now he’s dead, so doesn’t that mean Smoke wins?

Like I don’t get the lag time.

Jef: I don’t think Smokes can leave until all the candidates are dead.

You know?

Anupa: OH

[Note: later on, we came to the extremely late realization that Jacob fully dies once his ashes are burned. Hence, Smocke kicking his body into the fire after Ben did the deed, Ilana gathering up the ashes (and there's the reason she exists in the first place!) and Hurley taking the ashes from dead-Ilana's tent. It's a stupid-ass loophole but whatever.]

Jef: No but hold up, here was my other thing:

Because I thought the cave scrawls were magical—if Jacob scratches you off, you didn’t count anymore, so the ones left were the ones Smokes had to murder.

BUT he told Kate it “was just a line of chalk in a cave.”

So I dunno how the candidates are magical at all, at least until they drink the moonshine.

But yeah, regardless. I’m sure the game is Smokes can’t leave until they’re dead.

Anupa: The look on Jack’s face when he drank the river water was super hilar

Jef: LOL yeah he gave Jacob the gas face after

Anupa: !!! I love the gas face

Jef: “You’re like me now.” Which I assume means high as hell.

Anupa: Watch, next week Jack’s gonna be all heavy-lidded too

Jef: Dude I will die.

Anupa: And that’s why Dharma keeps getting food drops!

Jef: LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL

Anupa: To sustain Jacob’s munchies

Jef: STOPPP

HAHAHAHAHAH

Anupa: Sorry ahahahhahahahhaha

Jef: *five minute break for laughter*

All Smokey wants is to get away from centuries of stoner talk

Jef: Did you see that photoshop job of Smokey and Jacob where it says “Fucking magnets? How do they work?”

And it’s the dagger stuck to the well?

Anupa: Hahah no! I wish I did though!

Jef: That’s the whole show, right there.

Anupa: Again, the end.

Jef: Ok but yo:

I was thrown for a loop this episode

I was really sure that Jack would end up not taking the job!

He’s the island guardian! This is big! It’s been building to that for 6 years, but still. BIG.

Anupa: Okay, BUT did you really think any of the others wanted it?

Jack was the only logical choice for the job and he knew it. You could tell by the look’s on the other’s faces:

Sawyer? PSH. Kate? Nope. Hurley? No way dude.

And we knew it had to be a Jack v Locke showdown

Jef: Imagine someone else put their hand up? Jacob would be like “ehhhhhhh really?”

“I dunno Kate, it’s a lot of hours, and it’s hard work…”

Anupa: Hahah word. So Locke has to kill all of them…. he’s looking for Dez who is now apparently the key to everything

And magical Jack et al are setting up to kill Locke

Jef: Yup, and sideways Jack and Locke have just cemented their bromance.

Anupa: So what’s gonna happen?

Your thoughts?

Jef: They’re both “letting go”

Anupa: OOH

Jack letting go in our timeline, Locke letting go in the other one?

Jef: Both!

They’ve met in the middle sorta

Anupa: Do you think that perhaps this process of letting go might permeate through to Locke’s now reanimated body?

And affect something to do with Smokey?

Jef: Honestly, I’m not sure what to expect.

But I expect big things from Jack, Jack 2.0, Locke, Dez, and an assist from Miles

That’s my play.

Oh and waaaaaalt?

Lowercase w because I am not so sure.

Anupa: JESUS, YES. PLEASE LET WALT SHOW.

OMG, WAIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What was Michael? An artist right? Think he’ll show up at the museum?

AVEC WALT?

Jef: Was he?

If so, DOPE.

Anupa: Yeah dude, remember? But he had to work construction because life is rough for an artist with a kid.

Jef: True! And speaking of the museum, I’m also looking to Farraday to play a part as well.

Shit, I’m hyped.

Anupa: TRUE SAY.

Jef: Aside from Walt, is there any other return you want to happen?

Def Juliet with the going-dutch coffee.

Anupa: Penny.

Jef: Word.

Shannon?

Anupa: Meh

Jef: lol

Anupa: FUCKING VINCENT!

Jef: chomp chomp

Anupa: They just wrote him off the show

Jef: He might be dead. They’re gonna need facsimiles Lassie-style

Anupa: To be honest, when Ben, Richard and Miles were in Ben’s closet and then they heard a noise and came out… I was hoping it was Vincent snuffling around in that cupboard. You can ask my roomie; I yelled VINCENT!

Jef: I’m sure he’ll get a cameo

If there’s one thing Lost loves, it’s referencing itself. I expect it to go nuts for 2 and a half.

Ok, any final words?

Anupa: I’m rooting for the alternate timeline, because Alex needs a dad

Jef: “He doesn’t get to save his daughter.” BLAOW.

I’m not fully sure anymore, but I still think a blend is coming.

But after this week, I’m totally not surprised if they go somewhere else.

Anupa: They’ve rendered us basically useless in terms of guessing where this is gonna go

Jef: They have!

Anupa: Which is the best set-up for a finale in all reality.

We are literally expectation-free.

Jef: We are.

We’ve let go, Anupa.

Anupa: OG

*OMG

Anupa

- I loved seeing the opposite of characters this episode: Davis being unslackerly through his political campaign, Janette contemplating less-than-fair business practices but eventually choosing to suspend her restaurant, Antoine benevolent instead of bartering. This is where characters start to get interesting and three dimensional.

- We’re used to seeing Creighton in a position of sometimes-pretentious power, but when his New York agent comes in and acts all New York-y, we realize he’s kinda at the mercy of a cheque. His Youtube rants have earned him pseudo-celeb status, but they’re also biting him in the ass: he’d rather write about the ’27 flood, remember?

- God, that storyline with his wife Toni is boring as sheeeeeit though.

Simon

- Seven episodes in, I still wonder: what the fuck is Toni’s job? She goes to extraordinary lengths for her clients, who by and large seem to be of the pro bono requiring sorts. How does she get paid outside of suspect piano lessons for her daughter? How is it she spends most of her time battling the government or tracking down trombones? How can she afford to be driving all around the Southern United States to ask questions about one lost black dude amongst what must be at least hundreds of missing persons? They certainly don’t teach that stuff in law school from what I’ve heard.

- If somebody told me they were going to stop watching Treme because it was boring, I probably won’t blame them at this point. I think it’s clear the show is what it is now: the Seinfeld of serialized dramas. Treme is about nothing, but I’ll be damned if the characters aren’t worth following week to week.

- That scene with Davis’ family is kind of hilarious. Wealthy white-southern family, sitting in a parlour that looks like it was stolen from the set of “A Streetcar Named Desire,” talking about their distant relation to Jefferson Davis and the political milieu of post-disaster New Orleans. “Black Jack, on the Track”. If any candidate for municipal office was really as hot for puns as Davis is, he or she would have my vote in a heartbeat.