Santa has never given me a gift.

Unlike many of my friends growing up, there was no magical component to my Christmas. There was no altruistic value to the Christmas spirit, no creepy omniscient Alpha-Elf who broke into my house with a sack of toys.

We had a tree, yes. We had gifts, we had family dinners. But being relatively new to the country, my parents had no idea about the mythology of Christmas. It was all they could do to collect the trappings of this crazy seasonal curiosity, so they would often just ask me what I wanted as a gift.

I distinctly remember one year going to Toy City (remember that store? anyone?) and literally picking my own gift out, then carrying it to the cashier so my dad could buy it. I still do regret picking Ultra Magnus instead of Metroplex, but I digress.

I don’t blame my parents for not lying to me. How were they to know that was what parents here did? Who would assume the truth — that the population of an entire continent could knowingly be partaking in a conspiratorial deception employed to manipulate the mass psyche of their very own offspring?

It was hard reconciling this knowledge as a child with friends who firmly believed in the Christmas narrative. After inciting more than a few riotous classroom debates (and angry, vitriolic accusations), I decided to stop spouting my contrary, snarky comments when classmates talked about Santa, and flying reindeer, and cookies and milk. It wasn’t worth the effort, and who was I to tell them their parents were lying liars?

To this day I know many people who have heart wrenching tales of when they realized Santa wasn’t real. Still, it’s hard to say what I’ll do when I have kids of my own. I like to think I was a grounded child. My friends prefer to call my lack of belief in magic ‘deprived’. The truth might be somewhere in between.

I have a friend who dressed up as Santa one year to amuse kids at a holiday potluck. He’s a Chinese dude and although it was all just fun and games, part of me couldn’t help shake the thought that one day these children are going to seriously wonder about whether or not Santa is Chinese, and reconcile who this non-Chinese Santa at the mall is, asking them to sit on their lap.

(as an aside, who vets these Santas? Why are people so willing to send their children into the lap of strangers just because they’re wearing red tights and a fake beard? THINK PEOPLE. THINK!)

These are the things you have to consider when you commit to a lie. Also, the fact that these kids are always going to be one step ahead of you and, eventually, you’re going to end up with an incredibly tangled web of false reality that will collapse upon itself, crushing your child.

So in the end one has to wonder, who is this lie for anyways? Is it for the kids or for the parents to vicariously recapture the magic that they themselves had crushed as children?

I missed out on a lot of things growing up immersed in Chinese culture. The vicious cycle of Christmas mythology though? Not really one of those things.

Signed,

Scrooge McYau

This post is part of the Ethnic Aisle, a blog about issues of race, ethnicity and culture in the GTA.

Jef and Simon met in a school environment much like that of Greendale. That’s just one of the many reasons they love Community. They’ll be chatting about season three every week, and you should join them, because you’re streets ahead.

Jef: Season’s greetings!

Simon: Happy Holidays!
I was kind of hoping they’d top last year.
They did not.

Jef: Same here! Unreasonable, I guess.

Simon: yea, high expectations

Jef: Last year’s Christmas episode was something special.
It was something that I could actually see myself watching years from now and getting into the holiday spirits off of.
(But that’s me.)

Simon: screw you, Charlie Brown

Jef: This was just…a Christmas episode.

Simon: so, it’s nothing new, but Community really likes to make fun of Glee
why Glee, do you think in particular?

Jef: They do and I love them for it, but honestly I was always hoping they wouldn’t actually do a musical episode.
Glee is horrible, first off.
It’s manipulative and inconsistent with its characters, so in certain ways it’s the opposite of Community

Simon: was this a musical episode though?
or was it a Glee parody episode in the way they do parody episodes?
it’s easy to say that’s the same thing, but I’m not so sure they are

Jef: I see what you mean
Either of those things though I always felt would be lazy of Community to do
I loved that “flashback” episode last year because it felt like the show was acknowledging all of these overly wacky, overly obvious plots that they could never sustain for a whole episode
I was wrong, I guess, but also…the end result wasn’t that bad
What did you think?

Simon: I agree it was a bit of a stretch to turn that joke into an entire episode
I do think it’s pertinent that it’s Glee that’s the target of their jabs though
it really is the antithesis of Community, you’re so right about that
they went out of their way to cramp the formulaic nature of Glee’s plots
and I think even how they went into commercial with Britta as the last survivor, then suddenly she’s brainwashed when we get back
that kind of unexplained gap is absolutely Glee-like
it worked in that regard, as a joke
as an episode it was kind of fruitless though it seemed

Jef: Haha, I never thought about Britta’s sudden turn
I agree the episode was fruitless, but even worse, it felt LATE as fuck

Simon: RIGHT? I don’t watch Glee anymore
but I’m pretty sure it’s jumped the shark
although that realistically probably happened in episode 2
but still

Jef: Haha no but you’re right
I’m sure its ratings are still doing fine and whatnot, but the phenomenon has passed

Simon: the fact there is no Glee Holiday Album knocking down our radios can attest to that I think
… is there?

Jef: Haha I have no idea.
But yeah, the best time to make fun of this stuff would have been before Glee itself became a joke.

Simon: To be honest though, I kind of like musical episodes
it’s a gimmick but I’m a sucker for theatre
the songs here though
they were all terribad
just…
ah

Jef: Guh, right?

Simon: i mean I know they weren’t trying
but if you’re gonna do it, just… do it

Jef: I almost literally facepalmed when Troy went full Childish Gambino
That’s another thing I think should have never happened on this show

Simon: I was actually kind of shocked that happened
like, they let him bring that out on the show
also, TERRIBLE

Jef: Really bad.

Simon: Pierce’s Baby Boomer Santa song was equally painful

Jef: Haha I think Pierce’s was the only song I laughed at though.
When he said, “You’re welcome, you’re welcome, for everything, in the world!”

Simon: I thought Annie’s ditty was actually pretty funny by the end of it because they acknowledged the absurdity

Jef: Alison Brie can kill it with the physical comedy when she wants to, yes?

Simon: there was this one episode of Mad Men where she does the Charleston,
and it was amazing

Jef: haha yeah I’ve seen it, and it was grand.
My understanding too is that Brie can actually hit a note, so I thought it was weird they let Gambino run free but they didn’t let her sing.
I would have much preferred if they did that talent distribution the other way around.

Simon: admittedly, I almost fell off my couch laughing
when they walk into the study room and Pierce goes “who’s that guy?”
and they have a Chuck Klosterman looking fucker at the piano

Jef: “I’m not the only one who can see him, right?”

Simon: i died
i mean, just a little. but i really did.

Jef: I also liked the end of Annie’s song, “Boo bee boo pee do, boo. Sex.”

Simon: then her devolution into gibberish
there was something about this that didn’t really scream Holidays to me though
i mean, it seemed more like they were pointing out that their show’s characters have emotional depth and Glee’s don’t
and just used the holidays to hang their hat on that, but it didn’t really ring true for me

Jef: I totally feel you on that
I kept thinking this episode would redeem its concept by tying things together at the end.
I loved how last year’s Christmas episode wound down with the meaning of Christmas being LOST and all that
It was able to reach a very sincere place while also being this pop culture clusterfuck (aka Community at its best)
But this week’s fell short on both ends, I think

Simon: I agree. And whereas the characters were plumbed last year by revealing how they interacted with each other, and their personal feelings about the holidays, and background stories
this year they basically just said “look, they care about each other”
“the end”

Jef: At LEAST give us a genuinely touching moment at the end.

Simon: right. it was all tell, no show.

Jef: Abed’s line about “Maybe Jeff’s right, maybe forcing things to be bright just makes the darkness underneath even darker,” wasn’t enough.
And like we said, the songs weren’t good enough either.
We saw a way better musical mash-up with Kiss From A Rose in the episode where Annie moves in with Troy and Abed. Having that comparison made the songs here extra lackluster.

Simon: the final thing being Glee is incredibly easy to make fun of
i mean, the average Funny or Die skit could parody that show with equal aplomb

Jef: And I’m sure there’s a million of those clips already out there…

Simon: i guess i am sad about the lack of ambition for an episode i was highly anticipating

Jef: It seems like they used it just to “end the semester” on a happy note
As Abed and Jeff point out a couple of times
Jeff: “I basically killed a guy this year.”
Like, well, people are complaining we’re too dark.
Let’s throw them a bone and then get on with the show.

Simon: you think? I don’t actually hear people complain they’re too dark
then again, i don’t listen to people talk about Community except for… us

Jef: Haha
Complaint was probably the wrong word
Concern? I know we’ve talked about it before, that the characters especially were becoming a bit nasty this year

Simon: that’s true, we have touched on them being “not nice people”

Jef: So is this the response though?
“You want nice? Here. Watch GLEE.”
“See how horrible it is?”

Simon: well, they were responsible for the Glee club being dismantled in the first place
that wasn’t very nice
i suppose there’s some poetic justice in that sense

Jef: Lol
Yeah I loved that turn where we find out the teacher killed everyone in the bus crash, making everything some kind of in-the-background Veronica Mars mass murder plot.
(I am now revealing that I really love Veronica Mars.)

Simon: that show is the best

Jef: IS THIS WHERE WE JUST TALK ABOUT VERONICA MARS?

Simon: it died too soon
that’s all i have to say about it

Jef: Yeah. Great show.
I would have preferred if this were just a Veronica Mars parody episode.
Or at least if it morphed into that.

Simon: … that’s an amazing idea
dude, tengentially
have you ever watched that Star Wars Christmas special?
the one that was banned because it was so horrible?

Jef: Yeah I tried once with some high school friends.
IT’S ACTUALLY THAT BAD THOUGH.
It’s unwatchable.

Simon: IT REALLY IS
SO, SO BAD
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=323909610753051544

Jef: And EVERYONE is in it.
HARRISON FORD IS IN IT.
Which makes it harder to watch.
Lol I closed that window really quickly.

Simon: LOL

Jef: Speaking of horrible Christmas specials
Did you like Britta’s bit at the end?

Simon: I was going to bring this up but I thought one good thing about this episode was how much Britta we got
yes, I thought it was great
particularly knowing that “me so [blank]” is apparently a Britta catchphrase now

Jef: It is!
One of the reasons I love Britta is that she makes everyone else funnier as well.
Characters get to react to her and say stuff like, “Oh. Britta’s in this?”

Simon: she’s a good foil because she doesn’t really have a set way of acting
sometimes she’s ridiculous, sometimes she self-righteous, sometimes she’s actually wise
there’s more flexibility with her character than say, Troy
knowing this is the last ep for a while
how do you feel about it as a send off?
what if this is the last episode ever?

Jef: Well, it won’t be.
Right?
RIGHT?

Simon: I DON’T KNOW
*pours a shot*

Jef: I’m pretty sure they’ll finish the season like they’ve said.
But I’ve been known to lie to myself to make myself feel better, because that’s what handsome people do.
IF it’s the last episode, well, at least we ended on a nice Christmas-card-ish shot of all of them together at the end.
With enough hints of what we might miss out on, with Annie and Abed sharing a moment, and Troy and Britta sitting together.

Simon: I totally didn’t pick up on that!

Jef: Might be reading into it, but yup, those were the seating arrangements
With the adults all in the background.

Simon: duh doy!
I am continually impressed though with the show’s commitment to in-jokes
i mean, this whole episode, for starters
but things like Abed’s buttered noodles

Jef: Abed’s buttered noodles are amazing
I even just like saying it! Buttered noodles.
Was there anything in this episode that you could see them building off of?
Or was it entirely a self-contained, maybe throwaway ep?

Simon: yes, more boobie jokes

Jef: Hahaha
Boobie jokes, fart jokes
It’s been a classy season

Simon: I do think the Troy and Britta thing will coalesce by the end of this season
there was the sitting you just mentioned
but even Troy sticking up for her
“you don’t get to call Britta the worst!”

Jef: There you go! Totally didn’t pick up on that but you’re right.
And more and more Jeff and Annie’s thing seems to be based on forbidden lust and not much more.
Whereas Annie and Abed make genuine googly eyes at each other every once in awhile.

Simon: Do people make genuine goggly eyes in real life?
is that a real thing?

Jef: Well, Alison Brie and Danny Pudi do I guess.
They have rather large eyes.

Simon: goggly ones, even
uh
googly

Jef: Goggly eyes would be frightening!

Simon: but safe!

Jef: lolol

Simon: chang chang chang chaaaaaang

Jef: OH YEAH
that was my favourite part, the end number with the side characters.
Again, I feel it lacked in ambition (I thought it was going to go NUTS but didn’t)
But I still liked and will watch it again

Simon: it felt more genuine than the actual episode to me
like, the show honestly wants us to have a happy holidays guys!

Jef: “My name is Alex…My name is Alex…”

Simon: lol
he’s been totally AWOL

Jef: Yeah, right?
I mean I get that he’s pretty one-note
But he’s Starburns! Everything needs more Starburns

Simon: pop-pop to that

Jef:  anything else you wanna get into?

Simon: naw, i think we got everything?
you?

Jef: Boo boop be doop.

Simon: sex

Jef and Simon met in a school environment much like that of Greendale. That’s just one of the many reasons they love Community. They’ll be chatting about season three every week, and you should join them, because you’re streets ahead.

Jef: Hey yo

Simon: yo
game on

Jef: So…
That episode was pretty eh

Simon: we finally got that Shirley ep
it was not what I expected

Jef: I feel bad for the Shirley character.
If this is the best they have for her — the throwaway “normal” episode after the super quirky one — I think it’s clear they don’t know what to do with her anymore.

Simon: the episode from last season
Troy’s birthday
was a much better way to paint her character as three dimensional
this was like a caricature of that episode almost

Jef: Yeah Mixology did the exact same thing but so much better

Simon: although, and maybe I’m being paranoid
I do feel this episode had high general appeal
casual viewers got a lot of “Community type comedy” this week

Jef: Yeah I get the need for these episodes every once in awhile
Especially as breathing room after the run of bizarre episodes we’ve had
It just concerns me it’s the first Shirley story we’ve had, as if they tried to kill two birds with one stone.
Everything felt very obligatory.

Simon: i was almost certain we’d catch up with her baby and Chang relationship
alas

Jef: Instead we get this retcon with Jeff
Which I don’t think felt natural at all
Did you like that storyline?

Simon: I liked it from a purely sitcom perspective
i mean, it was silly and fun
and the random anime was pretty golden
the idea that it impacts the greater narrative of their characters at all seems out of place
although I guess now we know they’ve known each other a long time
asides from that their bff thing was pretty lost on me

Jef: Yeah that ending of them walking away arm-on-arm fell pretty flat for me
The anime was as fun as it should have been I guess…on the bright side the episode gave Shirley fun things to say
Like, “foosball is a vile game for vile people”
Also, I like the callback to Jeff and Shirley making fun of Britta’s season 1 boyfriend
…what was his name again?

Simon: … i dont’ know, but wasn’t it the dude from Robin Hood Men in Tights?

Jef: VAUGHN

Simon: “Britta… she’s a great big B”

Jef: “Getting rid of Britt-aah”
lol no way not Cary Elwes
is that who you’re thinking?

Simon: YES
ok no it wasn’t him hahaha
they look similar

Jef: Same daffy blonde guy stare, yeah
Did you like the B story with the Abed’s Dark Knight disc?

Simon: I enjoyed Troy and Annie’s conversations
Basically Troy is the best

Jef: The Troy and Annie scene was my favourite part
Was that even the B story?
Which one was the B story???

Simon: I think it was the B story haha
I assume anything discussed before the song is the A story

Jef: haha good rule

Simon: the idea that Troy is mildly afraid of Abed makes me giggle
also, Alison Brie does a pretty good Christian Bale

Jef: I love that she tried doing the voice twice
It was nice getting to see them just being roommates
The stakes of the B story were just high enough. It was all fluff pretty much but still a nice slice of the stupid adventures they must get into all the time.

Simon: “I thought you moving in was supposed to tone us down!”
followed fittingly with “WHO ARE YOU??”
I want to be their fourth roommate

Jef: “Women’s shoes? Rick doesn’t have a wife…OR WOMEN’S FEET.”

Simon: lots of classic Troy
sadly little Britta

Jef: Yeah!
This episode was light on guest appearances
But also light on main cast appearances in general
Barely any Britta or Pierce
No Chang or Dean
I am going to take this to mean Britta is the center of the Christmas episode
or at least I hope

Simon: We can hope, she has at least 5 Totorolla phones to get her through the holiday season

Jef: LOL Totorolla
This episode was too light, there’s nothing to talk about!
From Abed’s Batman character to Shirley’s “I have a dark past (that’s not really that dark)” thing, it was all a bunch of old jokes that they took out for another stroll
Even the foosball gimmick felt like Jeff’s pool obsession from season one

Simon: I always though Shirley was more than just a few years older than Jeff

Jef: Haha but she keeps telling us
that she’s basically the same age as Jeff

Simon: STILL

Jef: LOL
She’ll make your ass sense.
so…should we call it an early night?
I am laughing, btw

Simon: I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO TALK ABOUT

Jef: Lol
I think my favourite part of the episode was Leonard’s youtube video at the end

Simon: I like how spot on it was

Jef: 5 stars!
A buy!

Simon: I also feel slightly offended on behalf of German exchange students everywhere

Jef: Horrible, horrible German accents
aka the best German accents!
I just hit pause on the giant screen of text that Leornard has up at the end of his youtube vid
I am assuming this is a dig at Chuck Lorre?

Simon: I watched it live
what does it say?

Jef: It’s a huge rant on paying late fees for movie rentals
It includes a reference to “Dan In Real Life” and the phrase “duh doy”
It’s basically awesome.

Simon: What does that have to do with Chuck Lorre?

Jef: His shows end with a big wall of text
Random rants and stuff
You know, it’s his “thing”
ANYWAYS.

Simon: I have literally never watched an entire episode of any of his shows, haha

Jef: That’s a good thing!

Simon: I think so!
I think we’re tapping out.

Jef: Yeah, there’s nothing to see here.
A pretty basic episode.
Had some laughs as usual but ultimately it’s one for the shoe safe.

Simon: you’re very good with faces
I’m off to eat some butter noodles

Jef: Alright
Next week, Christmas episode!
Yeah?
Yeah.

Simon: HOPEFULLY

Jef: FIN.

Simon: that was sad hahaha

Jef: not our fault!

Simon: it’s true!

Jef: what are butter noodles?
are they noodles made of butter?
am i being very stupid right now about butter noodles?

Simon: i think they’re noodles with butter, hahaha

Jef: that would make more sense

“Take This Waltz” is a beautiful film. Channelling the smouldering (and stalkerish) sexuality of Wong Kar-Wai’s “In The Mood For Love” while also slightly cramping its vibrant visual style, director Sarah Polley is in her element when contextualizing life — long sighs, lingering glances and carnal tension spill off the screen with prodigious visual ease.

Michelle Williams slides seamlessly into the role of Margot, a 28 year-old aspiring writer and young wife, adrift in the kind of ennui those life decisions predictably entail. Williams’ performance is sublime as she turns in her best Holden Caulfield-in-a-long-term-relationship impression.

Seth Rogen plays Margot’s doting, teddy bear of a husband Lou, who despite his evident goofiness manages to elicit sympathetic good-guy vibes in potentially ominous ways. The final piece of Waltz’s love triangle is Daniel, played by relative newcomer Luke Kirby. Daniel is Margot’s neighbour and the manifestation of her physical and emotional desire, after an initial meeting that straddles the grey area between cutely serendipitous and cloyingly ridiculous.

Toronto serves as the gorgeous, bokeh backdrop for Polley’s bittersweet sophomore effort. Not to be understated, the Earl Haig Secondary School alumnus (shoutout class of 2001!) makes her hometown look better than perhaps any other film in memory. Toronto’s local haunts and iconic neighbourhoods are supersaturated in summer palates; Polley’s penchant for focusing on minutiae transforms recognizable streets into an atmospheric haze that parallels Margot’s myopic internal conflict.

It’s worth tangentially noting that at some point in the film, I stopped consciously observing that the movie was purposely set and unfolding in Toronto. Considering an early reference to “Dufferin and Queen” generated cheering from my audience, it seems pertinent that Sarah Polley might be the first director to ever make Toronto gracefully inconspicuous on screen. But I digress.

Polley’s attempts to portray life’s vagaries are often hampered by her own ambition; delicate visuals are often juxtaposed with overwrought dialogue. Moreover, excess words do extra disservice by being slightly too on-point for the films artful ambiguity. Polley is definitely more concise speaking with a camera instead of a pen.

Still, sometimes it works. In one particular scene shot in the Lakeview Diner, Daniel verbally ravishes Margot with a raw intimacy that may forever redefine the art of sexting. The monologue is in some ways absurd, but also easily the most legitimately erotic moment in the movie.

The film clocks in at an ambitious two hours long. Tightening it down by 20 minutes might have resulted in an instant classic, but it’s hard to nitpick because, much like real life, Polley’s story is not easily defined.

If I had to oversimplify, “Take This Waltz” might be a sexually charged, romantic-dramedy, coming-of-age-tale. Mostly however, it’s just a gorgeous and artful exploration of modern life.

Jef and Simon met in a school environment much like that of Greendale. That’s just one of the many reasons they love Community. They’ll be chatting about season three every week, and you should join them, because you’re streets ahead.

Jef: Man.

Simon: that was an amazing episode
naturally
to make us sadder

Jef: It almost upset me how good this episode was.
haha yeah
I really do fear that we are recapping the final season of Community here.

Simon: don’t SAY THAT
“six seasons and a movie!” remember??

Jef: “My clique should be canceled
Freaks and Geeks”
Sigh
Alright
So in this episode the Dean has to film a new enrolment commercial for Greendale
I kind of liked that the whole episode was a countdown to a Luis Guzman cameo
You’re waiting for fucking Luis Guzman to come make things right again.

Simon: … and he does

Jef: Haha yeah

Simon: so many shows would use an obscure reference like that without following through

Jef: Or use him to up the weirdness levels
instead of returning things to normalcy

Simon: this was a Simpsons level cameo

Jef: Yeah, totally

Simon: did you go to Humber because of an ad?

Jef: LOL
I’m not even quite sure how I ended up there.

Simon: I don’t know if they had ads back then?
they have posters on the TTC these days

Jef: Yeah I’ve seen the ads playing in Yonge and Dundas square
The “journalism student” wears such funky hats.

Simon: … we kind of do though

Jef: Totally accurate!
Speaking of wardrobes
Annie was extra hot this week

Simon: why?

Jef: These are the intelligent thoughts I have to contribute this week!

Simon: I have literally no complaints
I just want to list all the amazing things about this episode

Jef: Let’s do it

Simon: chronologically
because it’s a recap? I don’t know
Jeff does a really mean Dean Pelton

Jef: Holy crap he was amazing
“This is my sister’s outfit!”

Simon: he even got the mannerisms down!
I also really enjoyed that the Dean’s office had his dalmatian posters up

Jef: Yeah, all that stuff we complained about last week re: Dean just turning into a gay caricature…
Totally solved this week.
This is exactly the kind of stuff I’ve been wanting them to do.

Simon: yes, he was pretty incredible
for some reason this show really lends itself to the fake documentary format

Jef: It’s so cinematic already

Simon: all the meta comments about Hearts of Darkness were just icing

Jef: Haha man, the Dean’s breakdown scene

Simon: YES hahaha

Jef: where he’s rubbing ash over his face and naked body
“I’m horrible….I’m horrible.”
I couldn’t even handle how hilarious and genuinely beautiful that was

Simon: what DID he do to the ice cream machine??

Jef:   Haha
I am guessing he made love to it.
The pan-sexual imp is back!

Simon: that sounds painful.
what did you think of Pierce’s role?
he was kind of like a running gag but I’m not sure why they chose that route for him

Jef: yeah, I don’t mind when they segregate Chevy usually, because normally it just gives him room to show his physical comedy chops
but here I think he definitely would have been better used actually being IN the documentary

Simon: right? I mean I get that he’s a crazy old dude
but he really did seem a bit squandered

Jef: He would have been hilarious on set
And he was already separated last week

Simon: good point.
the amount of details in this episode
was incredible

Jef: Yeah, the details! The details.
Britta’s title card: “Britta Perry: anarchist cat owner”

Simon: so accurate!
the scene of her and Troy doing the 12 hour take was comedy gold

Jef: Haha holy shit

Simon: i pretty much died
when Troy yelled “stop saying I’m different!”

Jef: When they tied ropes around them and were pulling their arms
And Dean was all “You can’t even do it when we’re helping you!”

Simon: I think part of the reason this episode was so great
was it really allows us to define the best parts of each character

Jef: It was another sweet episode

Simon: it was essentially a way to individually spotlight each cast member
each interview reinforced what we enjoy about them
Annie’s keenerism turning into stockholm syndrome
Britta psycho analyzing
Troy being Troy
Jeff was a pleasant surprise again though
he’s been a bit out of characters two weeks in a row now
in an awesome way though
“I made bald friends!”

Jef: Jeff’s been trying lately
Which is really different for him but feels organic
I like it a lot

Simon: their ability to transform him from normal Jeff to Jeff-sucked-into-crazy-director-Dean’s-vision-and-desperate-for-screen-time was pretty unbelievable
they did it in like 7 minutes with 4 shots

Jef: Haha yeah, I did make a note of the fact that the tone totally changes
after the first commercial break.
It all goes to hell really fast lol

Simon: Pelton’s costumes were amazing
I feel like they’re making fun of a director
but I couldn’t pin down who

Jef: It would be great if it were Dan Harmon

Simon: he wears hoodies with no shirt underneath?

Jef: Haha I have no idea

Simon: WHO DOES THAT

Jef: I was a little dismayed that as his stubble grew and his clothes got grimier…
…he started to look more and more like me.
I think it’s time for a new look.

Simon: I think you’re ahead of the trends

Jef: wait for it
…
STREETS AHEAD.

Simon: you deserve a trailer for that

Jef: And I’m not coming out!
How do you feel about this Troy/Britta deal?

Simon: I like that even the Dean knows Troy is into her

Jef: Haha yeah
I love love love the awkwardness of it
because they are both really good at doing awkward

Simon: i totally thought they were going to start making out
as the punchline to that scene

Jef: Haha yeah
And I’m glad they didn’t though

Simon: yes, Harmon wins again
them being scared at the sight of each other is infinitely more hilarious

Jef: Yeah, trauma!

Simon: i don’t think they should get together though
that seems kind of absurd to me?
i feel like their age difference is the same as Jeff and Annie’s?
which for some reason is always a huge deal

Jef: It’s weird because it’s definitely not as big of an age gap
But it feels like it is because Troy is like….12 at heart
Britta had my favourite line of the episode
(Which I guess goes without saying now)

Simon: *nodding*

Jef: “As a licensed psychology major I am declaring this a violation of human rights!”
Which makes no sense three different ways, lol

Simon: i peed myself
“I’m taking psych 101 and I don’t even know what’s happening to me” was a close second

Jef: Haha yeah.
And for subtlety, she also had
“I don’t know why, but this is the last straw!”

Simon: I really enjoyed when the Dean demanded reality
then subbed in a blonde wig wearing Chang

Jef: Chang was so good here too!

Simon: him pacing behind Jeff?

Jef: He was really restrained and still killing it
Haha yeah
And when he was explaining the wig under the bald cap
“I’m literally dying.”
Even Leonard was great this episode!

Simon: yes!

Jef: It was full of win for everyone

Simon: i wondered what happened to him
I am kind of shocked we didn’t see starburns
but watching the fat kid in a motion capture suit more than made up for it
“that’s a toilet!”

Jef: Haha I will never remember that kid’s name
And that’s ok with me

Simon: word

Jef: It seems appropriate.
Is this is the first episode to be that kind to Greendale as a school?
Luis Guzman’s line at the end to the Dean, “Worship the people who are here right now. This is a special school. You don’t deserve to be here.” That was….sweet.

Simon: I thought that was a really interesting angle
because it REALLY captures community college as an experience

Jef: Totally

Simon: Luis Guzman is wrong
colleges are not special schools
they, in general, are kind of awful hahahaha

Jef: Hahaha
Hey now!

Simon: but that awfulness ABSOLUTELY fosters bonding
the type that doesn’t happen in university.
we can totally attest to that I think

Jef: That’s been my experience for sure yeah, having attended both as well.
Jeff has that line at the end when he’s forgiving the Dean for his breakdown
where he says he forgives him “because we’ve all been there; which is why we’re all here.”

Simon: perfect Community ending

Jef: It’s a diss to the school in a way but goes back to painting it as a place for second chances

Simon: appropriately sappy

Jef: Which was really nice

Simon: yea
I mean, that’s the whole crux of the episode right?
the insanity of making a commercial
when in the end Abed reuses the final scene of the dancing dude
because come on
nobody picks a community college based on the ads hahaha
people go because they have to go

Jef: Yeah, you go because you need to for whatever life reasons.

Simon: but they meet special people there
which the episode portrayed astoundingly accurately

Jef: And the Dean was a great choice to focus the episode on
He runs the college but doesn’t “get” college

Simon: because he went to university

Jef:  This is all very obvious stuff I’m saying
But it was just really nice

Simon: hahaha

Jef: Haha are we saying this stuff just because we went to college?

Simon: i think so yes hahaha
i do think there’s a certain level of
…. recognition?
that you might not appreciate unless you’ve been to a community college when watching this show

Jef: Yeah, the understanding is there.
Of the community college experience and of these characters and why they’re there.
lol ok
Tangent
But how amazing were the noises coming from the Dean’s edit of the documentary?
*gunshots*
*porn moans*

Simon: i particularly liked how sudden the cuts were

Jef: Haha yeah
And Guzman’s reactions to watching it were amazing

Simon: I liked that he was editing it on his totally normal laptop

Jef: Yeah, nothing crazy there

Simon: after all that insanity
still using Microsoft movie maker

Jef: You know, the other great thing about how the show used Guzman is in just that he was playing himself.
So Greendale really is a place that you can graduate from and make something of yourself from.
Again, sweet episode.

Simon: yes, I loved that aspect of it
the shot of him looking at his statue was priceless

Jef: Hahahaha yeah

Simon: or saying
“helllooooo, it’s meeeee. Luis Guzman”

Jef: LOL yeah
And stepping out his car with a big shit-eating Jack Nicholson grin

Simon: ok, so finally, my favourite part of the episode
the final scene in the study room
where Abed is filiming
but also in random shots
while the show’s real camera guy
sporadically appears and disappears
I was like
WHAT THE FUCK
SO AMAZING

Jef: Oh the meta was done so well this week!
I agree

Simon: it was so subtle!

Jef: And Abed’s speech about how telling sad stories can make them happy, simply for the fact that they’re being told
Like, wow
I just said “like, wow”

Simon: twice!

Jef: THAT’S HOW GOOD IT WAS

Simon: his little glance at the camera as he walks away

Jef: Seriously though, episodes like this make the news of the mid-season pull really hard to take
Because I NEED to see these people graduate now.
I know they’re going to tell the fuck out of that story.

Simon: do you think they played this episode out of order just to go out into the hiatus with a bang?

Jef: I don’t know but I wouldn’t be surprised.
This isn’t the last one before the break, is it?

Simon: I’m not sure to be honest
i wasn’t even sure there would be an episode this week

Jef: I refuse to believe that we’re not getting a Christmas episode.
That can’t be real life.

Simon: I don’t understand why anybody would NOT watch this show
how it could have poor ratings is literally unfathomable to me

Jef: I saw some off-hand comments on Facebook that the show had jumped the shark this season anyway.

Simon: who said that? punch that person in the face.

Jef: DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT JUMPING THE SHARK MEANS.

Simon: they did a whole episode about that!
that’s how streets ahead they are!

Jef: Haha
“Just so you know, there was an episode of Happy Days where they literally jumped over a shark. And it was THE BEST ONE.”

Simon: exactly
there’s a lot of Community left to go
I honestly don’t know if it has 6 seasons in it
maybe one or two more at most
but it definitely needs one or two more

Jef: Yeah, at this point honestly all I’m asking is for four seasons.
I want them to graduate.
I can live comfortably with just that.
They’re building up to that story so confidently and brilliantly

Simon: i do think one more, and then it can go out still riding high
beyond a fourth season i legitimately can see it jumping the shark

Jef: Definitely, me too.

Simon: it’d still be good
but not the best

Jef: Haha yeah I’d still watch.
But that’s what makes this possible cancellation even more frustrating
If we end up reaching three years, and we know they only needed one more to score this television home run
….
I’ll be no fun to be around for awhile

Simon: i’m trying to figure out what fans will mail to NBC in a show of support

Jef: …possums?

Simon: dalmations?

Jef: I like that we pick the most threatening things.

Simon: Seal cds

Jef: YES

Simon: that’d be pretty amazing actually

Jef: Let’s start this movement

Simon: dude, if someone MAILED me a possum, I would be terrified

Jef: haha yeah
Don’t do that, people.
Just send them some kisses from some roses.

Simon: i’m sad

Jef: Haha
I’ve got no words of comfort for you
I think this might be it, to be honest

Simon: stiff upper lip
there’s more episodes
it’s not the END end

Jef: I know they were already thinking of axing it before
So they might have run out of goodwill by now

Simon: yea
i suspect the fan outrage might be pretty significant
i feel like it’s just one of those shows everybody watches via download or Hulu

Jef: We’re a passionate fandom
But are we really that large?
I don’t know

Simon: it’s true
nobody I know really watches it
except my girlfriend, because i made her

Jef: Yeah same, and I have two friends who are really into it
Everyone else says shit like “I don’t get it” or “IT JUMPED THE SHARK”

Simon: i don’t get that though
it’s so accessible
i don’t get how people don’t immediately find it hilarious

Jef: Yeah I don’t think it’s hard to get into at all
My girlfriend doesn’t even catch half of the reference but still laughs her ass of anyway
On the pure comical level it still works
Just like the Simpsons did

Simon: yes, and it just gets better the more you understand

Jef: And the characters are real
Treated with respect and fleshed out

Simon: sigh

Jef:  Hahahaha
look at us ranting on the internet about television at 12:30 in the morning

Simon: we lead difficult lives

Jef: Fight the power, people. Fight it with your hugs!

Simon: who are you talking to?

Jef: Uh…

Simon: nice try there

Jef and Simon met in a school environment much like that of Greendale. That’s just one of the many reasons they love Community. They’ll be chatting about season three every week, and you should join them, because you’re streets ahead.

jef: Annie moved in.

Stephane Gauger is a Vietnamese-American filmmaker based in L.A. whose latest work, Saigon Electric, premieres in Canada tonight as part of the Toronto Reel Asian Film Festival. A hip-hop dance film based in Vietnam, Saigon Electric tells the story of a traditional ribbon dancer from the countryside named Mai who moves to the city to audition at a major dance academy. Failing her entrance exam but unwilling to return home, Mai befriends a local b-girl named Kim, who introduces Mai to her crew, Saigon Fresh. The new friends navigate family issues and class barriers as they prepare for a showdown with a rival crew, the privileged rich kids called the North Killaz.

The Ashcan: You were born in Vietnam, raised in Orange Country, right? Can you talk a bit about your background?

Stephane Gauger: Yeah, you can see the influence in my work. I have biracial parents – no wait, excuse me, I’m biracial [laughs]. I grew up with Vietnamese culture at home. I had a Vietnamese grandmother that didn’t speak any English so I spoke Vietnamese around the house and because of that, I’m fortunate to be able to work in Vietnam, to direct and produce in Vietnam, pretty easily. But yeah, if you ever meet me, you’ll see that I’m not very Asian looking [laughs].

Do you stay in L.A. mostly or do you go back a lot?

I go back to Vietnam for projects. I came to America when I was 5, so I’m pretty Americanized. I first went back to Vietnam in 1994; at that time it was still poor – and I’ve gone back about 20 times – and every time I go back , it just changes drastically.

I know for other filmmakers I’ve spoken to who were born in Asia but are living elsewhere, going back to film in their homelands seems to be a way of revisiting or learning about their culture. Is that what it’s like for you?

Uhm, I think I’m past the stage of getting to know my culture. Especially with my two narrative films, it was maybe [more about] sharing the culture. Like with my first feature for example, Owl and the Sparrow, what I wanted to share was that Saigon was a cosmopolitan city just like New York or Paris and that people have the same feelings of, you know, loneliness there. The country itself is still sort of getting out of the “third world” but the major cities are pretty cosmopolitan, I’d say.

In Saigon Electric you shoot Vietnam quite strikingly, but you don’t exoticize the scenery. 

Well, my interests in telling Vietnamese stories lie more on the urban side, rather than the postcard side, the countryside. That’s what the tourist board would like you to see – traditional dresses in rice fields with buffaloes—but I’m more of a city person and more interested in the hustle and bustle of the city. I tend to keep it on the street as much as I can.

Before you started work on the film, how into the Vietnamese hip-hop scene were you?

Very, very minimal. I had to play a lot of catch-up. Because I’m based in L.A., what I did first was I started scouting the crews on Youtube. So I got a sense of who the crews were in Vietnam, after that  I had a co-producer go out and make contact with the crew leaders in both Saigon and Hanoi…and then when we landed and were prepping the film, I had to play catch up and really absorb their day to day routines. Some of the things I learned along the way were really interesting. For instance, I had it in the film where the North crew were very privileged and the South crew weren’t, but in actuality most of the dancers within the big cities tend to all be privileged. If there were any poor kids dancing, they’d be from the outskirts or more of the rural towns.

So that’s one thing I learned – when I got there and saw all the dancers, all the kids in crews would be decked out in hip-hop gear, Puma and Converse and Adidas shoes, and that’s not cheap to buy. Most of them come from good families.

There’s a certain consciousness in your film I think, in that Mai doesn’t sort of “learn hip-hop” and use it for herself, like we see often in other dance films.

Yeah, I mean there were a few people who were expecting — and I think some audience members would expect [as well] — Mai, the traditional dancer, to dance with [the crew]. But I think that’s a disservice to real hip-hop dancers, because you can’t really wing it in the span of a month. A lot of these dancers in the film have been with crews for at the very least two to three years. It takes time to develop those skills … [but] I did try to fuse a bit of traditional dance at the end with the lion drummers, which is a very Chinese and Vietnamese thing. And it was interesting, when I was prepping the film, asking the hip-hop crews there—because I was a little worried—I said, ‘For the finale I’m going to have a drum crew perform with you guys because I think it’s energetic.’ And they said, ‘Yes, we’ve done that before.’ They’d actually fused traditional music with hip-hop before. Those are the kind of things that you learn along the way before you shoot the film.

Did you make a lot of changes as you learned more about the hip-hop scene?

Not really, just little changes. Like, I had it in the script where one crew goes around with a donation box, and they said they don’t do that, they just dance for fun and dance for pride. Later on, before the finale in the film [I planned] a montage of them training; I had them jogging along the river, and I wanted to capture that in slow motion. But they said they just kind of train…they don’t jog. And there were a lot of these details that we get from American films that didn’t really translate to a Vietnamese film.

Are you a fan of these Hollywood dance films?

A few of them. I’m more of a drama guy, so for me, with Saigon Electric, the dance aspect is secondary to the story and characters, so structurally I tried to have it more similar to something like Save the Last Dance, which is very heavy on the drama.

So more story, and less…Step Up 3D, I guess?

Yeah. The emphasis in the Step Up movies is to showcase the dance…with mine, because I like good acting, I tried to emphasize the story more than the dance. And you know, with a small budget, I didn’t feel like I could really compete with American dance films so I didn’t even try. But because of the context of a dance film, I do have requisite dance elements in it, the final battle being one of them.

Are you a hip-hop fan?

I’m not a hip-hop aficionado; what I found interesting in the subject matter was more the youth culture. In Vietnam, hip-hop is relatively new–it’s really only exploded on the scene in the last few years—but for me, youth culture is important because you’ve got a really young population going through a sea of change in Vietnam, with everything become more global. A lot of the dancers were influenced or inspired by watching a lot of stuff on the internet, by American dance movies and watching battles of other dance crews on Youtube. That’s a part of the change in Vietnam, a lot of young people are on Facebook and the internet. We still keep in touch with the dancers over Facebook.

Saigon Electric screens tonight as part of the Toronto Reel Asian Film Festival, 8:45 p.m. at The Royal. Director Stephane Gauger will be in attendance. An encore screening will be held at the Richmond Hill Centre for the Performing Arts on November 19 at 1:30 p.m.

If you’re an avid movie watcher who’s also dealt with depression, I’m sure you have a list in your head of movies, good or not, that “nailed it,” that perfectly captured your particular experience with despair. Maybe Holly Golightly’s “mean reds” speech in Breakfast at Tiffany’s marked your personal line between feeling down and feeling out. If you struggle with anxiety and anger, maybe Adam Sandler’s emotional oddball performance in Punch Drunk Love got you in the gut. Lost in Translation? It’s taken a rap from some for affected faux-dispiritedness, but you? Maybe you totally got that shit.

One film that’s on my list is Lethal Weapon, an absurd film to relate to because it is, after all, an absurd film, but bear with me. I can’t say that I’ve ever felt the way Mel Gibson’s suicidal Sgt. Martin Riggs does, but the the idea of walking through life as a man already dead is a poetic one, and it’s one I think Gibson portrays appropriately, viscerally.

When we meet Riggs, a widower and maverick cop, we learn he’s a man who lives in a recluse’s trailer alone with a dog, disinterestedly smoking in bed, routinely sticking guns in his face and carrying around a bullet that he plans to use if he ever really decides to kill himself. At the outset of the film, after failing to pull the trigger on himself, he chokes himself. It’s an important moment, wonderfully acted, that pays off with a callback later in the film.

Riggs is a loose canon, much to the annoyance of his new partner, family man and crusty curmudgeon Roger Murtaugh (the very awesome Danny Glover). Riggs pulls Murtaugh into a bunch of otherwise avoidable situations, all of which end with Riggs tempting death, his or others’, but especially his.

Like when he makes a beeline to the bad guy, unflinching, cancer stick dangling from his mouth, as bullets ping all around him.

Or when he can’t be bothered with talking down a jumper so instead he cuffs himself to him and then does the jumping for the both of  them. (They land safely on a big inflatable mat.)

Or that time he botches an operation by shooting too fast and he and Murtaugh have to jump in a pool to try, futilely, to save a key witness’s life. (Water! Death! Who likes foreshadowing?)

Tired of this guy yet? So is Murtaugh.

Hell, Riggs is tired of himself.

Riggs and Murtaugh ride their rocky partnership toward a final showdown with drug smuggler Joshua (Gary Busey), and by the time the final fight scene unfolds Murtaugh has developed an understanding with Riggs, the kind between men who have faced death side by side. (Riggs, Murtaugh and Joshua are all Vietnam vets. The film seems to be exploring the different ways men deal with trauma, with Riggs becoming self-destructive, Murtaugh finding stability through conservative family life, and Joshua going off the deep end of moral nihilism.)

The final battle takes place outside of Murtaugh’s home but Murtaugh declines to participate. In fact, he pulls rank and tells the other cops to back off as well, creating an absurd arena on his front lawn — the swirling lights from police ‘copters standing in for the bright Vegas lights of a professional fight and the surrounding officers representing a crowd full of fans — for Riggs to do battle with Joshua and, by proxy, the demons eating him up inside.

“Whaddya say? Would you like a shot at the title?” asks Riggs.

“Don’t mind if I do,” says Joshua.

For context on how ahead of its time this fight scene was, note that the film was released in 1987 and the choreographer for its concluding battle was Rorion Gracie, an important martial arts figure from the now famous Gracie family, the pioneers of Brazilian jiu-jitsu.  The Gracies wouldn’t enter the popular American consciousness until 1993 at the inaugural Ultimate Fighting Championship event, where Rorion’s brother Royce would dominate all challengers and cement himself a legend of a brutal sport that would grow to stir political controversy and, in the Aughts, knock on the door of mainstream North American culture.

The jiu-jitsu move that Riggs uses to put away Joshua is known to many nowadays as a “triangle choke.” At the time, the New York Times, like most of us, had never seen such a maneuver and described it, somewhat comically, like this:

[Riggs'] way of winning a fight is to force his rival to the ground and attempt to crush him between his knees.

Close, but not really. If you’re interested, here’s a primer on the ins and outs of the triangle choke:

The most common version of the triangle choke, the one we see in Lethal Weapon, is performed while underneath your opponent in the guard position. Being in that position sometimes means you’re a badass who jumped into a bad position to secure a submission; most of the time, though, it means you were taken down and put on your back, the most primal of dangerous positions. The triangle is my favourite submission to see in an MMA fight because it’s often a come-from-behind move where a fighter in trouble has used his or her technical skill to pull off an unlikely victory.

The triangle requires a person to stay calm and in control of their mental faculties while in a horribly dangerous situation. At the beginning of the film, Riggs is certainly fearless but he’s not a man particularly concerned with controlling his actions.

At the end, Joshua throws Riggs into a pool of rain water and tries to drown him, recalling the foreshadowing from the pool.

Riggs can die here, like he’s always wanted to, but he doesn’t.

He survives. With Murtaugh’s support from the sidelines, he perseveres.

And secures a triangle choke to end it — the movie, Joshua’s drug smuggling reign, and his internal battles.

It’s within this fight scene that the character completes his arc from maverick asshole to guy a man like Murtaugh can call a trusted friend. Someone who won’t lose a fight just to complete a death wish, and also someone who will release a choke at the final moment to let a bad guy live, despite a bloodthirsty crowd that’s calling for more fatal punishment.

A guy who chokes his demons, not himself.

“Fight Scenery” is a column obsessed with cinematic combat. No can defend!

Previously: The unlikely kung-fu of Scott Pilgrim and Knives Chau

Jef and Simon met in a school environment much like that of Greendale. That’s just one of the many reasons they love Community. They’ll be chatting about season three every week, and you should join them, because you’re streets ahead.

Jef: *secret handshake*

Simon: (seeeecret)
We need to start using that handshake in real life.

Jef: Will that make us unbearable to hang out with? Or just make us the best?

Simon: …both?

Jef: If we’re ever at the same Halloween, we should be Troy and Abed.
No…wait.
Gah.

Simon: Well, without painting ourselves.
I think that’s not a terrible idea.

Jef: We could even theme it
and be Troy and Abed in the Morning
or Troy and Abed in Inspector Spacetime.

Simon: Evil Troy and Abed.

Jef: YES
Winner winner!

Simon: …we would basically just look like us normally
with goatees
and a handshake.

Jef: I’m sold.

Simon: Hellooooo Halloween 2012

Jef: It’s in my calendar!
(It’s in everyone’s calendar!)

Simon: So did we call that vice dean ep last week or what?
WE’RE EXPERTS.

Jef: Haha I think we called it every week!

Simon: shhhh…

Jef: Did it live up to your expectations and desires?

Simon: It did.
The call back to Troy’s Good Will Plumbing plot was really unexpected
but also perfectly reasonable.

Jef: It also opened up a lot of possibilities.
Now that we know even the most minor of characters can return
and turn their one-note jokes into running storylines.

Simon: I’m trying to figure out what they were aping with that whole plot though.
Like, obviously Good Will Hunting
but then the school part
what was that?
It turned his power into something more Harry Potter-ish, haha.

Jef: Not sure about specific references, but I’d say any college movie with a secret society in it.

Simon: Yea? I was getting more of a fantasy vibe. Like Star Wars or something.

Jef: This may be the first episode ever where my cultural cache failed me. I didn’t catch ANY specific references.

Simon: Yea, I don’t think there was a lot.
Except for Inspecter Spacetime, obvs.
We called for plot
and we got plot finally
plus another call back to last year’s daddy issues with Jeff.
Did it feel like a step in the right direction after the last two weeks?

Jef: Yes and no, I think.
Right direction, but that said, I don’t know that this was a particularly strong episode.
It was good.
But it seemed to plod around too much for me.

Simon: Yes, they crammed a lot into it.

Jef: And Jeff’s relationship with his father seems much more interesting to me than Pierce’s, which is weird given that it’s Pierce’s dad that we meet.

Simon: And who was amazing, I might add.

Jef: Haha yes!
To be honest at first I didn’t like his ivory hair piece.
I thought, oh here we go, the show is going too crazy again
but it nailed it and the actor was great.

Simon: I had to Google the word “Jewess.”
It’s a real word!

Jef: Jewess.
(I just wanted to type it.)

Simon: Yea, the explanation for the hair piece was pretty classic.
I wouldn’t want a head of Oriental hair either I guess.

Jef: And to have it linger on after his death and be passed on to Jeff was somewhat meaningful.

Simon: The touch of it going to whoever killed him
was great
like tusks! hahaha

Jef: I like that he knew he would die at another man’s hands.
I don’t know if this is weird to say
but the building plot of the characters choosing a career, Britta with psychology and, this week, Troy with manual repair, kind of makes me sad.
It’s very real and it sets up the idea that these people won’t be hanging out with each other after graduation.

Simon: It’s definitely been done really organically
unlike almost every show set in a school
where people just linger around awkwardly.

Jef: “Saved by the Bell: Wedding in Las Vegas”!
etc etc

Simon: The closest comparison I can think of is actually Friday Night Lights
where you watch the characters grow up and some of them actually leave the show.
Although in this case, I guess once everyone leaves it’ll be at the end.
Speaking of growth though, does it seem like despite the moralistic aspects of the show
when it comes to say Jeff and Pierce
they really just never change? haha
Like, they devote the entire plot to them supposedly learning about themselves only to not?

Jef: Yes and no…
Pierce is still an asshole at the end at his father’s funeral, which is in character, but his final act of defiance against his father is not.
And Jeff’s final speech I thought, for the first time, had some edge to it.
I really really liked Jeff this week, whereas usually he’s just kind of there for me, holding things together.

Simon: You liked the emotional side?

Jef: I liked that we saw some rage, but it wasn’t really the snide comical rage we usually see.
It was very real and for once he wasn’t really preaching, he was speaking in layers, saying one thing whereas we knew he was speaking about something else.

Simon: He has to know he’s speaking about himself though.
He denies it to Britta at the end
but in my mind he’s consciously denying it.
He’s just not that dense.

Jef: Britta was kind of our surrogate this week, playing pop psychologist and getting abused for it.
But really, she was right about everything.
IS she worst? Or is she THE BEST?
(SHE’S THE BEST.)

Simon: I like that she was right
but just SLIGHTLY wrong
in calling it EDIBLE.

Jef: LOL

Simon: She totally Britta’d it.

Jef: Edible’s Complex is my favourite complex of all time.
Yeah, she was right, but she bungled the execution.

Simon: I always think of eggs when I hear that word.
That advertising campaign thoroughly brainwashed young me.

Jef: Speaking of advertising…
Hawthorne’s Wipes?

Simon: I thought Pierce’s storyline was pretty humorous considering it was mildly dramatic
but it did get a little cloying at times.
Like, an excuse to make gay jokes!
I laughed
but it was just enh to me.

Jef: Yeah, I felt a lot of the gay jokes to be really weak.
Stupid gay jokes can be funny for being stupid gay jokes, but a whole episode of it feels like bad sitcom.
Something a lesser show would do.

Simon: Yes, it was just too much.

Jef: And we’ve seen MUCH better with the Dean overall throughout the seasons.

Simon: …I don’t know what he was supposed to be dressed up as? hahaha

Jef: It wasn’t Tron!
But yeah I don’t even mean him specifically this week, I just mean the episode kind of treats “Hey, gay jokes!” likes it’s a novel gimmick
but it’s something the show has been doing all along and doing much less crudely.

Simon: Right. Like, the Chang throw away at the end really fell flat for me.
It was like a scene from Van Wilder.

Jef: Yeah. Even though his intonation of “gay!” always makes me laugh.

Simon: That’s just how he talks!

Jef: Lol true.

Simon: It felt kind of lazy, I guess is my overall feeling.
So finally:
Vice Dean.
The final storyline of this week
a busy one it was.
Worth the wait?

Jef: The secret society scene with the astronaut making paninis and black Hitler was great.

Simon: YES

Jef: And John Goodman has a way of making his lines amazing.
Sometimes it’s just regular dialogue, but he chews it so hard.

Simon: “It’s still a mistake.”

Jef: YES

Simon: “No it’s not.”
“Yes… it is.”

Jef: Haha yes yes yes
That was so good
and another instance of the episode working on two levels.
Because the villain is right, right?
Troy does need to make a decision that isn’t just “hanging out with friends.”

Simon: Well, yes and no.
He’s right in the definition of a mistake
but Troy doesn’t necessarily need to rush into adulthood.
That’s a less quantifiable mistake I suppose.

Jef: Right, I see what you mean.

Simon: If anything I think it paints the other side of Remedial Chaos Theory
where Troy wants so hard to be treated like an adult
when in reality, he just wants to be a kid
for as long as he can, at least.

Jef: Troy is a great part of the show because he’s the most immature but also often the most mature, like in his birthday episode.

Simon: Right.

Jef: It’s like his childlike nature allows him to see through the bullshit of adulthood.

Simon: He wants the respect afforded to adults
but not the responsibility.
Which, hey, don’t we all?

Jef: Haha, I do!

Simon: I honestly don’t know where else that plot line can go haha
Like, what are they going to do? Force him into fixing air conditioners? How? haha

Jef: I’m hoping it leads to him taking over the air conditioning cult.
Overthrowing vice dean and restoring order to Greendale!
Or maybe not.
But definitely, something is building
which I really like about this season.

Simon: Would it be hilarious if all of the characters ended up becoming teachers at Greendale at the end of the show?
It seems too easy…
but also kind of amazing.

Jef: LOL
so horrible, yet so possible and possibly funny.

Simon: Psych, air conditioning, law, baking…

Jef: Not as a continuation of the show, but as a final note.

Simon: Yes

Jef: I can see maybe at least one or two of them staying on as staff.
Though maybe that’s too Saved by the Bell as well
(shout outs to Screech).

Simon: The best part about the John Goodman scenes
is when he acts the fuck out of his scenes
they successfully feel more important, haha.
Even dialogue like “I don’t want to be a plumber because they deal with poopy”
can be slipped in and make this relatively small decision seem truly important.

Jef: It’s a wonderful bit of casting, him and Omar
whereas normally the teachers are throwaway bits for comedians and comic actors
now we have these character actors and “real” actors shaping up the school.

Simon: They need to have some David Simon discussion in one ep eventually.
They haven’t met yet right?

Jef: I don’t think so
And I agree!
So, do you think this is Pierce’s story moving forward, or was this just a one-off episode to further Jeff’s character?
We’ve now seen both of Pierce’s parents die and it would be a shame to not have that shape his character going on.

Simon: Right. I think it frees him up to try some out of character things.
It’s almost a built in excuse.
As for Jeff…. I’m not sure.
Does he ever really learn anything?
I feel like that’s his M.O.

Jef: I’m really wondering if Jeff ends up as a lawyer again.
He’s the only one to come into this show with a pre-defined career path.

Simon: And Pierce.

Jef: Right, but I don’t think Pierce is at the school to find work per se.
He’s just kind of bored, right?

Simon: No, that’s true.
Last year
Jeff seemed to have developed JUST ENOUGH
of a conscience to not be his old lawyer self
in the Rob Cordry episode.
But what else could he do? haha
He’s still fundamentally kind of a dick
(and who IS he texting all the time?)

Jef: Hahaah
Yeah, right?
I wouldn’t mind seeing Jeff’s lawyers friends again, especially Drew Carey.
He has a hole in his hand!

Simon: Lol, that was classic.

Jef: They could do that joke with the coin through his hand AGAIN and I would still applaud it.

Simon: I really enjoyed the chloroform scene in that ep.
It was like, Marx Brothersesque haha.

Jef: I know we’re getting off topic
but that chloroform scene is where I really fell in love with the Annie character.
She cracked me up there.

Simon: Yes, her facial reactions when attacking the dude!

Jef: And then attacking him again!

Simon: hahahaha
So good.

Jef: “STOP CHLOROFORMING PEOPLE!”

Simon: Wise words we should all heed.
Did you like this ep more?
Or the past two?

Jef: Definitely the past two for me.
Not that this one was bad.
You?

Simon: I agree, I enjoyed the last two more
but I feel like this one is necessary
to make eps like the last two possible.

Jef: Yeah, it set up a lot of story and recurring joke possibilities.
I think someone will wear Pierce’s dad’s hairpiece somewhere down the line.

Simon: And it progressed the greater story lines a lot.
I think we might see the Annie-moving-in-with-Troy-and-Abed episode soon.

Jef: I hope so! I see a lot of promise in that.

Simon: Either that or catching us up with Shirley. We have heard nothing of her kid!
Her kid was BORN IN THE SCHOOL!

Jef: I definitely think Shirley’s up to bat next week.
She’s been in the background this whole time.

Simon: Kind of unrelated
but we haven’t seen the Greendale Human all year.
Slightly sad.

Jef: Haha, another great Halloween costume option!
Though highly uncomfortable…

Simon: My friend wore one of those suits this year.
He couldn’t pee the entire night.

Jef: Hahaha
Wait, was he the Greendale Human?

Simon: No
he was…

Jef: …or a Power Rangers putty?

Simon: I don’t know what he was.
He looked like if Rorchasch cleaned up for a first date.

Jef: Good on you for not asking him!

Simon: Some things you don’t need to know.

Jef: A sense of mystery is always welcome!

Simon: Ok, now you pretend to be Simon so I can talk about how to end this thing.

Jef: Uh…

Simon: HAHAHA
Watching the “jef is typing….” appear and disappear is the best thing ever.

Jef: (Can you see me making Chinese eyes?)
Can you do me?

Simon: LOL
I’m trying not to make a gay joke.

Jef: …
Jef is typing…

Simon: pew pew

Jef: aaand scene.

Simon: lol
You know what was kind of amazing?
When Troy says “hey girl, how you liven?”
I was like
that’s not bad form.
His swag is on point.

Jef: That was totally Childish Gambino.

Simon: Yes
but I could never pull that off!

Jef: I liked that Abed also put on a sexy face.
And then said “pew.”

Simon: I think it’s strange that’s a word now.
Sign of the times.

Jef: Yeah, and I use it all the time.

Simon: ME TOO.
I’m not kidding either.

Jef: We ARE Troy and Abed
Who needs growing up?

Simon: …one of us has to develop a rap persona.
You’re way more qualified, hahaha.

Jef: Uhm…
*hides old rap songs*

Simon: AMAZING

Jef: DON’T ASK.

Simon: I’ll be your hype man!
but instead of “uh” and “Yeah”
I’ll just throw “pew pew’s” into every song.

Jef: CAN WE PLEASE CALL OURSELVES THE PEW TANG CLAN

Simon: OMG
I AM DYING

Jef: lol
Sold.

Simon: *secret handshake*

Jef and Simon met in a school environment much like that of Greendale, which is just one of the many reasons they love Community. They’ll be chatting about season three every week, and you should join them, because you’re streets ahead.

Simon: I had almost forgotten it was Halloween.

Jef: Yeah it feels really early in the season to be doing a Halloween episode already but maybe recapping the show makes it go by faster.

Simon: Possibly. Why are we so critical?

Jef: Hey, I liked it!

Simon: Me too!

Jef: At first it was annoying that it was yet another episode of small stories, but oh well.
It was good.

Simon: It reminded me of classic Simpsons Treehouse of Horrors.
Not sure if that was intentional or not.

Jef: Yeah I think that was definitely the vibe.

Simon: So Britta is using her degree.
That’s encouraging.

Jef: I think the weakest part of the episode was actually that set up, with Britta thinking someone in the group was psycho.
It felt really forced and I didn’t get the humour of it.

Simon: Right. I’m guessing they really liked the idea to have only one of them be sane though,
so we had to put up with that premise for the payoff.

Jef: I’d like to say that that payoff wasn’t “earned” but Abed has already made fun of me for that…

Simon: They’re so far ahead of us.

Jef: Do you like this trend of character-heavy episodes where they don’t really do anything but bounce off each other?
With Britta’s psychology test in this episode, it’s like they weren’t even trying to come up with a reasonable goal for the characters.

Simon: No, but I always feel holiday episodes are separate from the meta-narrative of a season.
Although Chang knocking up Shirley was pretty amazing
so what do I know.

Jef: Yeah I was going to say, I disagree with you.
Chang + Shirley, plus Abed’s breakdown last Christmas had story threads and callbacks all through last season.

Simon: It does seem strange that like, seven episodes in, the premiere had the most plot development in it haha.

Jef: Yeah right?
That and the Asian Annie episode.

Simon: That was a pretty self contained ep too though.

Jef: Mostly everything else has just been these very theatrical character plays.
Not that it’s horrible thing.
I really loved Abed’s story in particular this week.

Simon: I agree in that being strange
but because I am a fan of the characters, I have no qualms with it so far.
I don’t think it’s sustainable for an entire season though.
We need to learn what the hell was up with vice-dean at some point.

Jef: Haha every week with the vice dean!

Simon: I LOVE JOHN GOODMAN

Jef: What plot threads do you see them laying down?
By this point last year the Shirley and Chang story was just starting. Was the Pierce arc kicking off?

Simon: I honestly do think vice-dean is going to be heavily involved in the second half.
Although subtle, that’s the ONE plot line they’ve referred to in every episode basically
that the school is poor
pay for water
flickering lights
Chang as a security guard
They don’t normally lay that much groundwork for nothing.

Jef: I agree, that side of things seems to be developing quite well
and really hilariously.

Simon: So, like you said, again with the mini stories
I really really enjoyed Abed’s hahaha

Jef: Abed + Britta = the best

Simon: The scene where he’s humming the radio
and Troy is humming along

Jef: Lol yes
And the shot of them standing back-to-back holding knives

Simon: “I love you”
“shhh”

Jef: And just the fact that Abed has his characters speak in exposition.
My second favourite was Annie’s Twilight Saga riff where she teaches vampire Jeff how to read.

Simon: I enjoyed that. My second would probably be the Human Centipede parody though.
I’m a sucker for Troybed gags.
This was… literally… a Troybed gag.

Jef: HAHA their mind powers
I forgot about that
Sorry, I just pictured their glowing out eyes out of nowhere.

Simon: hahahaha
Unfortunately, I thought Pierce and Shirley’s stories were kind of forced
outside of Britta pouring a tupperware container full of pot on herself.

Jef: Haha “pot bong!”
I thought Shirley’s was the worst for sure and I’m wondering if it’s almost on purpose.
They seem to be harping on Shirley this season.

Simon: Yea, they’re roughing her up it’s true.
Why do you think?

Jef: I think it’s possible they’re going to Pierce her this season.
Examine why she fits with this group even though clearly she doesn’t.

Simon: LOL
That was kind of a bonus joke
but the fact they’re coining phrases now
is pretty awesome.

Jef: I’m going to use ‘pot bong’ for the rest of my life.

Simon: amen

Jef: Also, has Britta not had an awesome moment in any episode yet this season?

Simon: She is by far the best thing about this season.
That and Dean’s costumes.

Jef: Hahaha, when Devil Dean said “Gaaaay Marriage!” I died.

Simon: HAHAHAHA
meeee toooo

Jef: Just making the Dean the devil was so amazingly good.
That’s exactly what Shirley would think of him as.

Simon: Yea, she really hates Britta still too it seems.

Jef: Yeah I definitely think a Britta/Shirley showdown is brewing.

Simon: Pierce’s story was lame, predictably, but his Pierce-ish remarks and one liners were pretty spot on.

Jef: Pierce is in a weird spot now.
He went through this huge arc last year where he became really hostile, and now he’s more or less been rehabilitated.
But he’s still the same character and they clearly have no intention of changing him.
What do you do with him now that won’t seem like going backwards?

Simon: Right, he’s kind of back to just being the awkward old guy everyone ignores.
I can’t think of another show that develops their characters personalities with such meticulousness
that even the awkward characters in the group come across each episode as awkward.
Like, as if you actually are friends and know these characters personally.

Jef: There isn’t a comedy on right now with nearly as well defined characters.
Or, deeply defined.

Simon: Fittingly, it’s the Wire of sitcom comedies.
I want to ask what you think is next
but it’s getting hard to predict anything with this show haha.

Jef: Next on the big picture level?

Simon: Yea

Jef: I think a lot of what the show is doing is just showing these characters grow up.
In obvious episodes like Troy’s birthday, but also in little ways in every episode.
And now we have Britta choosing a career, and Annie becoming a woman, and all that
I think where we end up at the end of season four will be really far away from season one.
And I like that.

Simon: What do you make of the test results?

Jef: I don’t know.
I don’t make anything out of them really, I didn’t connect with that whole storyline.
It’s sweet that Abed is that sane one, but also obvious, and also, who cares?

Simon: It’s true that the answer was obvious
although technically Jeff’s test was random so I don’t know if that counts.
But I feel like… they were trying to say something?
I just don’t know what
because that story was the framework for the whole episode.

Jef: That everyone is crazy?

Simon: Well yea, that Abed being sane is actually what makes him crazy.

Jef: If we go meta, it could be that it was a shout out to the audience.
Abed’s story was a very literal rundown of fan complaints about continuity and such,
so it’s kind of like, Hey, thanks for a being a good sport.
What do you think it was trying to say?

Simon: I think it was trying to say WE’RE all insane
because, I mean, nobody can relate to Abed as a human being.

Jef: Ah, so the exact opposite lol.

Simon: yea, hahaha
I think the idea is Abed is nuts because he’s so rational
and everybody is crazy
like, the characters, but also us.
Tangential
but Troy’s pencil Wolverine claws
was totally something I did all the time as a kid.

Jef: YES
Him and Shirley won the cold war for me.

Simon: LOL

Jef: Her just straight smashing and wielding a broken bottle was awesome.

Simon: I love that she’s an alcoholic and she somehow materialized a bottle of booze.

Jef: Haha yeah
Do you think her aversion to Britta’s marijuana habit is realistic given her party-girl past?
I mean she could very well be against it, but so ignorant about it?

Simon: I think it might make her feel like she has the cred to be judgmental?
Like, I’ve been there, I now know better.
That type of thing.

Jef: When you put it like that I laugh
Because that maybe means pouring weed all over your body is something Shirley actually used to do, not just some stupid thing she imagines people do because she doesn’t know any better.

Simon: I hadn’t even considered that, but it’s true!
Or champagne!
If rap videos have taught me anything.

Jef: Ah, Shirley.
She’s not doing much this year yet but she’s killing the line readings still.
I loved her preacher voice, she sounded like Sam Jackson.

Simon: “You ruined a Britta party! That’s like letting poop go bad.”

Jef: Oh right, that’s the catch phrase of the episode
Britta, as a verb–

Simon: It’s totally streets ahead.

Jef: –for really small, excusable mistakes.

Simon: I got the feeling it actually means to do something stupid, haha.

Jef: Oh no yes, you’re totally right haha
i am just sleepy

Simon: ME TOO
how do we end this
uh

Jef: Uhm

Simon: We totally Britta’s this interrobang.

Jef: Lol a typo

Simon: brittaed?
britta’d
wow