WIN.

Well, there goes the work day. Here is one of the best flash games I’ve ever played — Super Mario Crossover. The gameplay is basically Super Mario Bros., but instead you get to choose from six different classic NES characters. One of the characters is Mario, which I guess is obligatory, but really, who’s going to pick boring old Mario when you can be cute little Mega Man, that sexy androgynous girl from Metroid (spoiler!), or that ‘roidy white dude from Contra? Each character controls just as they would in their own game (which means jumping as Castlevania’s Simon SUCKS).

Props to developer “explodingRabbit” who says he spent a year making the game, and that it’s his first. Way to set the bar low there buddy. Anyway, now thanks to him you can totally fulfill your childhood dreams of being all Captain N, but without having to go as far as this guy:

Yeah, you’re right I’m just jealous. *combs bangs over receding hairline* Whatever.

(Captain N pic via here, via this)

AYO JIN!

Knowing that the ingredients for a good LOST episode is a healthy mix of “!!” and “??” Jef and Anupa will be interrobanging the show’s final season every week. As LOST winds down to its conclusion, can its creators dish out all the needed explanations without resorting to exposition? Can they keep up the mystery without succumbing to just more mindfuckery?

This week with “The Last Recruit”, the show goes about moving everybody into their places for the big finale. On the island, some players switch teams and one jumps off a boat, while over in Sideways City a familiar flirtation happens, someone gets tripped by a wire (zoinks!) and mad people have to see a doctor. Most amazing though is that Kate doesn’t stupidly chase after anyone! She does, however, find something new to be stupid about. Stupid Kate. Watch out for SPOILERS, you bastards:

Anupa: SO

What is it? Like four episodes left?

Jef: Yesss

Final is two hours, but yes.

How are you holding up?

Last week you were wary.

Anupa: There is mad build up happening, guy.

They must be planning on giving a lot of information at once.

Or none at all…

Jef: Aha imagine?

I am feeling the buildup. Honestly, I think the finale is going to be structured movie style — all the main conflicts and themes are gonna be wrapped up all at once there.

Anupa: Well, yeah, that is what I’m thinking.

Jef: I’m actually surprised we got the Korean-reuinion today.

Anupa: To me that says that something else is going to happen…

Jef: Yes, something BIGGER is planned for those two.

Which is awesome.

Anupa: We should start some kind of pool…get some BETTING ACTION on the happs, brah.

Jef: Lol we can call it “Everyone Loses!”

Place your bets folks.

Anupa: I will secretly embezzle all of the funds generated.

It’s interesting…you know how they’ve set this show up with our original characters positioned as pawns

At the rate this is going/the way it’s all playing out, we are TOTALLY pawns.

I mean, I know this is obvious, but it’s so fantastic how with this final season we still don’t know so much.

We still have NO idea whether or not to trust Smocke.

Jef: Which is perfect though right, because neither do the characters.

Even Claire it turns out was never 100 per cent loyal. Or maybe she will turncoat later, who knows.

But yeah, not knowing where Smokes and Jacob stand and where the characters stand with them is perfect because it’s the same stuff we started with — we never knew if Jack or Locke were the more correct leaders.

Anupa: What are your thoughts on Jack literally jumping ship?

I mean, I just don’t get why he’d get on in the first place.

Jef: He’s, y’know, stewing over his options. Can’t decide whether to fall back, because all of his leadership decisions have been so fail, or to follow his gut because he caught the faith bug.

I like that he jumped, and it recalled when Sawyer also once jumped to stay on the island.

Anupa: Right, they’ve both made that journey.

It’s interesting though that you bring up those series of episodes involving the freighter.

Remember how Christian appeared on the freighter with Michael?

Since we now (apparently) know that Smocke once took Christian-form, how did he travel over water?

I.E. couldn’t Smocke just fucking show up wherever he wants to?

Like on their boat now

Or on the other Island?

Jef: Lol yeah. Well we know that Smokes really needs everyone to leave together. So he needs a boat to ferry everyone else regardless — turning to smoke to transport himself would be pointless and probably just freak the shit out of everyone.

Then again, the Smoke monster can grab people. So he could carry em.

My head hurts.

Anupa: Yeah! Why doesn’t he just carry them to where he wants them to go? LOL

Jef: Lol damn him. What did you think about the opening convo with Jack and Smoke?

When they talked about Locke?

Anupa: Smocke almost sounded bitter…

I don’t know if that’s reading too much into it

And me trying to link him to my “he’s just Locke pretending” theory.

Jef: “He was a sucker” was so harsh. Awesome harsh.

And you’re right, there was a hint of self-loathing in there.

Anupa: Yeah dude, they spent so many seasons buttering Locke up as this Man O’ Faith.

But both sides suit Locke really well in a way.

I mean, remember in S1 how they were almost playing into this “is Locke evil?” thing?

He’s really been split this whole time.

Jef: Yeah Lost plays faith in an interesting way. They make faith look crazy at points but also often also as correct.

And yeah to extend what you’re saying about the character being split — on the island Locke’s faith is what made him seem strong. Made him walk. But also made him die. In sideways world his weakness saved his life. The wheelchair took the brunt of Desmond’s car.

Anupa: It’s interesting, last week we had these theories about if Dez was trying to kill Locke in Sideways Land because of the whole well thing.

Although it did seem fairly obvious that they wanted him and Jack to cross paths.

…but there was room for speculation

How do you feel about that now? Do you still think he was trying to kill him?

Jef: I still think there’s still room for speculation, but yeah I won’t be surprised if that line of thought is never picked up on again.

But yo, the reason we were saying that is because Smokes threw Dez down this long-ass pit — was it me or was it like WTF that well is SO SHALLOW this week.

Anupa: Dude, I definitely would’ve died if I fell down that well.

I’m not good at landing.

Jef: LOL

You land, then trip and die.

Dude he was just chilling there, not even a twisted up ankle or anything. “Hey Sayid. What’s up. Just chillin.”

Anupa: Brotha

Do you think Sayid did it?

Dead or no?

Jef: No, I don’t think Sayid did it. The past few episodes have all been on some power ballad-level Power of Love type shit, and I think what they gave us here was hope that love could also save Sayid and Claire in the end.

Sayid said before he doesn’t FEEL anything. But apparently he still feels enough to love Nadia.

And Kate turned Claire around by playing the Aaron card.

Maybe I’m just being hopeful?

Anupa: In the end, it would be a shitty way for Dez to go.

Although he is turning into General Pervert off island… is it just me or he’s creepy and gross?

Jef: Yeah and if Sayid did it, I think they would have preferred to show it to us. They like showing people get shot.

Anupa: It’s funny you mention Nadia…cus they didn’t actually say Nadia… and why would they purposefully avoid her name?

Methinks we’ll be seeing Shannon soon.

Jef: OH SNAP

Good one.

Anupa: Semantics.

It also makes me wonder about that Tina Fey/Smocke showdown.

First of all, he didn’t decimate her.

Second of all, they kept referring to the “thing” that was taken.

Why do they make these conscious efforts to avoid names?

Jef: “The Package”

Anupa: Like if it were me I’d be like “Yo, guy! Where Dez at?!”

Jef: Lol if I was on team Widmore I’d just be calling him “that dude passed out in the sub. Go get him.”

Anupa: “my repugnant son in law”

Jef: Okay yeah so while we’re talking about Dez being creepy and giving everyone sex eyes –

Reality two just got bumped up a couple of notches, yeah?

I was just as involved this week with what was happening there as I was with the island story.

Anupa: Right, because now it’s not just one boring storyline.

LAWL

How great/heartbreaking/amazing was that scene with Ben and Locke in the ambulance?

The best actors/characters playing these completely different roles…

UGH

SO GOOD.

Jef: Haha I thought it was kind of funny.

Anupa: You would.

*EYE ROLLLLLS *

Jef: “My name is John.”

That scene was so bromantic.

I was AMAZED by how many characters had dope scenes in one episode, both on and off the island.

Anupa: You were a fan of the Kate/Sawyer police station flirty flirty?

Jef: Hell yeah loved it.

And yeah last week I was griping that the female characters weren’t doing shit, so it was good to see some Kate and Claire scenes.

I HATE Kate’s stupid ballcap though.

Take that shit off Kate!

Anupa: Yeah, it reminds me of girls who wear full makeup in the gym and workout with their long-ass hair down.

These are girl things that bother other girls

FYI

Jef: Haha what?

Anupa: See

Jef: *Goes off to guy talk with Sawyer and Jack*

Anupa: LOL

Good vun!

How about that cool scene with both Sun and Locke being carted into the hospital?

“It’s him, it’s him!” … that was her tapping into her Island memory right?

Jef: YES

Yeah like, physical injuries seem to jar people into realizing the other universe exists, and I guess it goes both ways.

I think Sun hitting her head and forgetting English was just the otherverse bleeding through.

So shit, Jack’s maybe also been enlightened? With the bomb at the end?

Anupa: That’s fucking banane

OMG

CORRECT

Jef: And that’s why the POV shot that mirrors the first episode?

Anupa: Right

Jef: He’s just as confused for a second. Like, where am I?

Shiiiit.

Anupa: We’re also setting up for a major Jack/Locke showdown.

Jef: Yo, speaking of final showdowns: almost everyone is in the hospital now right?

Anupa: Not Kate, not Sawyer, Sayid or Miles…

Or Claire… although I’m betting she’ll go into labour or some shit.

Also, Hurley.

Jef: Yeah for sure she’ll be having the baby there

Oh fuck yeah Hurley!

Anupa: We didn’t see Hurley IRL this episode!

Jef: He’s off sexing Libby

So glad they didn’t show it.

And Miles:

Where is he on the island? And why doesn’t Sawyer want to save him?

What an ass!

Anupa: He’s with Guyliner!!

He didn’t come with them to camp Smokey.

Jef: I have a bad feeling about Richard’s team.

I think they all die…

Maybe in a self-sacrificy kind of way.

They’re all kind of insignificant in the off-island world, right?

nupa: Don’t say that! I’m semi-crushing on Miles right now.

He’s my LOST CRUSH OF THE WEEK.

Jef: Aha mine is…get ready…Claire.

Anupa: My name is Claiihre, I’m having a bahhhby, we have the same fahhhter.

Jef: LOL

My thing for Claire has been refined:

I now specifically dig on her when she’s jungle Claire, and when she’s giving her stank face.

Anupa: Complex needs to make a Claire soundboard.

Jef: No I would waste so much time there!

Anupa: I don’t even want to think about what you would do there.

Jef: And I waste enough time on Complex already. Gotdamn click-throughs.

Anupa: EW

HAHAH I HATE THEIR CLICK THRUS.

But yo, the best Claire face was when they ran off without her and she felt all left out and shit.

She was the definition of GLOWERING.

Jef: YES. Awesome Claire face.

She was like “Oh hellllll no.”

Anupa: Whatever, Jack knew she would follow.

He was there when she followed him and Smocke in the beginning.

Jef: LOL did he though? I was laughing because Sawyer was like “you figure it out!” to Jack about coming up with a Locke-ditching plan. But then…Jack had no plan at all!

Anupa: LOL

Jef: He was just like, “Oh hey Locke’s gone! Sweet let’s go guys.”

Anupa: This episode was stupid for that.

The dude is made of face-eating smoke…and a) he doesn’t know what they’re up to and/or b) their plan is just to…run?

FAIL

Jef: Thank GOD Kate didn’t run after him.

This episode was awesome just for not doing that.

Anupa: LOLOLOL

Imagine she jumped out the boat?

Jef: Yeah I’d scream at her.

At my TV.

I would.

Anupa: I wouldn’t blame Sawyer for shooting her dead in the water right there.

Jef: LOOOL

Anupa: JUST END THE CYCLE

PLEASE

Jef: That would be awesome.

And then cut to Claire, as she laughs.

Yeah, I hate Kate, but that scene she had with Claire was aight. I bought it. Even though Kate like NEVER MENTIONS AARON and I forgot she ever raised him. I think she sold that scene.

Anupa: Dude, why can’t she just be all like: “HEY CLAIRE! You were gone and someone needed to take care of the kid? Would you rather I gave him up for adoption? INGRATE!”

It really isn’t that complicated.

Jef: Haha yeah just stop acting like you stole the kid.

Anupa: TRUST ME

Jef: Be like I SAVED that blonde bastard.

YOU OWE ME.

Anupa: Claire’s so high school.

Jef: I think Claire really is like fresh from high school though lol.

Anupa: 16 and pregnant.

Jef: She’s one of those girls, you know.

So for sure yeah she ends up in the hospital birthing Aaron, right?

And Sun is there already with her baby saved.

Do you think it’s important that Jack’s son is wandering around there as well?

You think this kid is a factor?

Anupa: Why would Jack bring him to the hospital if not?

They made a point of his mom calling and the kid wanting to spend more time with his dad, and then him coming to the hospital instead of that time together being cut short.

If he doesn’t have a role to play I’m gonna call it and say the writers are spending their time crafting nonsense instead of the shit THE RATINGS PAY THEM TO DO.

I’m writing too much in caps this interrobang.

Diary of an angry brown woman.

Jef: No yeah I think he’s important too.

I mean, IMPORTANT TOO.

Anupa: Sorry, Angry Asian Man is taken already.

Jef: And he’s wandering free right now, with almost everyone there.

Anupa: But yeah, so the spoiler I read for today’s episode was that WALT shows up.

But he didn’t.

BUT

…what if he does now?

That would make all the kids.

Jef: He HAS to.

I will forgive the writers a lot of shit, but not Walt.

Anupa: We can send them cards that when you open them up they go WALLLLT like those birthday cards that play happy birthday.

Jef: Haha yeah if they don’t follow through I will forever send them WALT letters.

Anupa: LOL

Jef: They will just say WAAAALT.

Or maybe “He’s my son! WAAAALT!”

Anupa: But seriously, why spend that time setting that whole thing up about him being speshal?

Jef: He’ll be there.

I’m saying finale.

Two hour movie style.

Anupa: Hopefully not Bruckheimer style.

Jef: You know they gotta save the most amazing cameos for last.

He’ll maybe be the cliffhanger for the second-last or something.

(Watch him show up next week now for no reason.)

Hm what else?

Wanna touch on Jin and Sun real quick?

Anupa: Yeah

I cried

I’ll admit it.

Jef: I didn’t cry, but I did get excited once I realized what was happening.

Dude, was it just me though, or did you think her brains were gonna fry when she passed through the pylons?

I was wincing.

Anupa: Yeah I totally thought that.

It would’ve been Artz-level awesome

But not, because we like her.

Do you notice Jin sounds like a grizzly bear when he speaks English?

His voice deepens like three registers.

Jef: Lol

I was going to say maybe he’s imitating whoever taught him. But he was taught by Sawyer.

Anupa: “I…love you too.”

LOLOL

Imagine he imitated Sawyer?

Jef: Jin with Sawyer’s twang would be awesome.

Anupa: It would be like seeing a black dude with an Irish accent…. WEIRD.

SO?

Jef: Yeah ok my final thoughts: this episode was dope all around and more impressive because it bucked the formula:

It wasn’t about any one character. It worked the whole ensemble, moved everyone into place, AND still had great character moments.

So I give it (drumroll): my faith. I have confidence they can pull off the finale, for sure.

You?

Anupa: What you said.

Video (and awesome soundtrack) after the jump:

It’s hard to see, but for anyone who cares, the move Frank used to win was an omoplata. Which isn’t as badass as a Dragonzord missle, but close. MMA girls breaks it down for you here.

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