AYO JIN!

Knowing that the ingredients for a good LOST episode is a healthy mix of “!!” and “??” Jef and Anupa will be interrobanging the show’s final season every week. As LOST winds down to its conclusion, can its creators dish out all the needed explanations without resorting to exposition? Can they keep up the mystery without succumbing to just more mindfuckery?

This week with “The Last Recruit”, the show goes about moving everybody into their places for the big finale. On the island, some players switch teams and one jumps off a boat, while over in Sideways City a familiar flirtation happens, someone gets tripped by a wire (zoinks!) and mad people have to see a doctor. Most amazing though is that Kate doesn’t stupidly chase after anyone! She does, however, find something new to be stupid about. Stupid Kate. Watch out for SPOILERS, you bastards:

Anupa: SO

What is it? Like four episodes left?

Jef: Yesss

Final is two hours, but yes.

How are you holding up?

Last week you were wary.

Anupa: There is mad build up happening, guy.

They must be planning on giving a lot of information at once.

Or none at all…

Jef: Aha imagine?

I am feeling the buildup. Honestly, I think the finale is going to be structured movie style — all the main conflicts and themes are gonna be wrapped up all at once there.

Anupa: Well, yeah, that is what I’m thinking.

Jef: I’m actually surprised we got the Korean-reuinion today.

Anupa: To me that says that something else is going to happen…

Jef: Yes, something BIGGER is planned for those two.

Which is awesome.

Anupa: We should start some kind of pool…get some BETTING ACTION on the happs, brah.

Jef: Lol we can call it “Everyone Loses!”

Place your bets folks.

Anupa: I will secretly embezzle all of the funds generated.

It’s interesting…you know how they’ve set this show up with our original characters positioned as pawns

At the rate this is going/the way it’s all playing out, we are TOTALLY pawns.

I mean, I know this is obvious, but it’s so fantastic how with this final season we still don’t know so much.

We still have NO idea whether or not to trust Smocke.

Jef: Which is perfect though right, because neither do the characters.

Even Claire it turns out was never 100 per cent loyal. Or maybe she will turncoat later, who knows.

But yeah, not knowing where Smokes and Jacob stand and where the characters stand with them is perfect because it’s the same stuff we started with — we never knew if Jack or Locke were the more correct leaders.

Anupa: What are your thoughts on Jack literally jumping ship?

I mean, I just don’t get why he’d get on in the first place.

Jef: He’s, y’know, stewing over his options. Can’t decide whether to fall back, because all of his leadership decisions have been so fail, or to follow his gut because he caught the faith bug.

I like that he jumped, and it recalled when Sawyer also once jumped to stay on the island.

Anupa: Right, they’ve both made that journey.

It’s interesting though that you bring up those series of episodes involving the freighter.

Remember how Christian appeared on the freighter with Michael?

Since we now (apparently) know that Smocke once took Christian-form, how did he travel over water?

I.E. couldn’t Smocke just fucking show up wherever he wants to?

Like on their boat now

Or on the other Island?

Jef: Lol yeah. Well we know that Smokes really needs everyone to leave together. So he needs a boat to ferry everyone else regardless — turning to smoke to transport himself would be pointless and probably just freak the shit out of everyone.

Then again, the Smoke monster can grab people. So he could carry em.

My head hurts.

Anupa: Yeah! Why doesn’t he just carry them to where he wants them to go? LOL

Jef: Lol damn him. What did you think about the opening convo with Jack and Smoke?

When they talked about Locke?

Anupa: Smocke almost sounded bitter…

I don’t know if that’s reading too much into it

And me trying to link him to my “he’s just Locke pretending” theory.

Jef: “He was a sucker” was so harsh. Awesome harsh.

And you’re right, there was a hint of self-loathing in there.

Anupa: Yeah dude, they spent so many seasons buttering Locke up as this Man O’ Faith.

But both sides suit Locke really well in a way.

I mean, remember in S1 how they were almost playing into this “is Locke evil?” thing?

He’s really been split this whole time.

Jef: Yeah Lost plays faith in an interesting way. They make faith look crazy at points but also often also as correct.

And yeah to extend what you’re saying about the character being split — on the island Locke’s faith is what made him seem strong. Made him walk. But also made him die. In sideways world his weakness saved his life. The wheelchair took the brunt of Desmond’s car.

Anupa: It’s interesting, last week we had these theories about if Dez was trying to kill Locke in Sideways Land because of the whole well thing.

Although it did seem fairly obvious that they wanted him and Jack to cross paths.

…but there was room for speculation

How do you feel about that now? Do you still think he was trying to kill him?

Jef: I still think there’s still room for speculation, but yeah I won’t be surprised if that line of thought is never picked up on again.

But yo, the reason we were saying that is because Smokes threw Dez down this long-ass pit — was it me or was it like WTF that well is SO SHALLOW this week.

Anupa: Dude, I definitely would’ve died if I fell down that well.

I’m not good at landing.

Jef: LOL

You land, then trip and die.

Dude he was just chilling there, not even a twisted up ankle or anything. “Hey Sayid. What’s up. Just chillin.”

Anupa: Brotha

Do you think Sayid did it?

Dead or no?

Jef: No, I don’t think Sayid did it. The past few episodes have all been on some power ballad-level Power of Love type shit, and I think what they gave us here was hope that love could also save Sayid and Claire in the end.

Sayid said before he doesn’t FEEL anything. But apparently he still feels enough to love Nadia.

And Kate turned Claire around by playing the Aaron card.

Maybe I’m just being hopeful?

Anupa: In the end, it would be a shitty way for Dez to go.

Although he is turning into General Pervert off island… is it just me or he’s creepy and gross?

Jef: Yeah and if Sayid did it, I think they would have preferred to show it to us. They like showing people get shot.

Anupa: It’s funny you mention Nadia…cus they didn’t actually say Nadia… and why would they purposefully avoid her name?

Methinks we’ll be seeing Shannon soon.

Jef: OH SNAP

Good one.

Anupa: Semantics.

It also makes me wonder about that Tina Fey/Smocke showdown.

First of all, he didn’t decimate her.

Second of all, they kept referring to the “thing” that was taken.

Why do they make these conscious efforts to avoid names?

Jef: “The Package”

Anupa: Like if it were me I’d be like “Yo, guy! Where Dez at?!”

Jef: Lol if I was on team Widmore I’d just be calling him “that dude passed out in the sub. Go get him.”

Anupa: “my repugnant son in law”

Jef: Okay yeah so while we’re talking about Dez being creepy and giving everyone sex eyes –

Reality two just got bumped up a couple of notches, yeah?

I was just as involved this week with what was happening there as I was with the island story.

Anupa: Right, because now it’s not just one boring storyline.

LAWL

How great/heartbreaking/amazing was that scene with Ben and Locke in the ambulance?

The best actors/characters playing these completely different roles…

UGH

SO GOOD.

Jef: Haha I thought it was kind of funny.

Anupa: You would.

*EYE ROLLLLLS *

Jef: “My name is John.”

That scene was so bromantic.

I was AMAZED by how many characters had dope scenes in one episode, both on and off the island.

Anupa: You were a fan of the Kate/Sawyer police station flirty flirty?

Jef: Hell yeah loved it.

And yeah last week I was griping that the female characters weren’t doing shit, so it was good to see some Kate and Claire scenes.

I HATE Kate’s stupid ballcap though.

Take that shit off Kate!

Anupa: Yeah, it reminds me of girls who wear full makeup in the gym and workout with their long-ass hair down.

These are girl things that bother other girls

FYI

Jef: Haha what?

Anupa: See

Jef: *Goes off to guy talk with Sawyer and Jack*

Anupa: LOL

Good vun!

How about that cool scene with both Sun and Locke being carted into the hospital?

“It’s him, it’s him!” … that was her tapping into her Island memory right?

Jef: YES

Yeah like, physical injuries seem to jar people into realizing the other universe exists, and I guess it goes both ways.

I think Sun hitting her head and forgetting English was just the otherverse bleeding through.

So shit, Jack’s maybe also been enlightened? With the bomb at the end?

Anupa: That’s fucking banane

OMG

CORRECT

Jef: And that’s why the POV shot that mirrors the first episode?

Anupa: Right

Jef: He’s just as confused for a second. Like, where am I?

Shiiiit.

Anupa: We’re also setting up for a major Jack/Locke showdown.

Jef: Yo, speaking of final showdowns: almost everyone is in the hospital now right?

Anupa: Not Kate, not Sawyer, Sayid or Miles…

Or Claire… although I’m betting she’ll go into labour or some shit.

Also, Hurley.

Jef: Yeah for sure she’ll be having the baby there

Oh fuck yeah Hurley!

Anupa: We didn’t see Hurley IRL this episode!

Jef: He’s off sexing Libby

So glad they didn’t show it.

And Miles:

Where is he on the island? And why doesn’t Sawyer want to save him?

What an ass!

Anupa: He’s with Guyliner!!

He didn’t come with them to camp Smokey.

Jef: I have a bad feeling about Richard’s team.

I think they all die…

Maybe in a self-sacrificy kind of way.

They’re all kind of insignificant in the off-island world, right?

nupa: Don’t say that! I’m semi-crushing on Miles right now.

He’s my LOST CRUSH OF THE WEEK.

Jef: Aha mine is…get ready…Claire.

Anupa: My name is Claiihre, I’m having a bahhhby, we have the same fahhhter.

Jef: LOL

My thing for Claire has been refined:

I now specifically dig on her when she’s jungle Claire, and when she’s giving her stank face.

Anupa: Complex needs to make a Claire soundboard.

Jef: No I would waste so much time there!

Anupa: I don’t even want to think about what you would do there.

Jef: And I waste enough time on Complex already. Gotdamn click-throughs.

Anupa: EW

HAHAH I HATE THEIR CLICK THRUS.

But yo, the best Claire face was when they ran off without her and she felt all left out and shit.

She was the definition of GLOWERING.

Jef: YES. Awesome Claire face.

She was like “Oh hellllll no.”

Anupa: Whatever, Jack knew she would follow.

He was there when she followed him and Smocke in the beginning.

Jef: LOL did he though? I was laughing because Sawyer was like “you figure it out!” to Jack about coming up with a Locke-ditching plan. But then…Jack had no plan at all!

Anupa: LOL

Jef: He was just like, “Oh hey Locke’s gone! Sweet let’s go guys.”

Anupa: This episode was stupid for that.

The dude is made of face-eating smoke…and a) he doesn’t know what they’re up to and/or b) their plan is just to…run?

FAIL

Jef: Thank GOD Kate didn’t run after him.

This episode was awesome just for not doing that.

Anupa: LOLOLOL

Imagine she jumped out the boat?

Jef: Yeah I’d scream at her.

At my TV.

I would.

Anupa: I wouldn’t blame Sawyer for shooting her dead in the water right there.

Jef: LOOOL

Anupa: JUST END THE CYCLE

PLEASE

Jef: That would be awesome.

And then cut to Claire, as she laughs.

Yeah, I hate Kate, but that scene she had with Claire was aight. I bought it. Even though Kate like NEVER MENTIONS AARON and I forgot she ever raised him. I think she sold that scene.

Anupa: Dude, why can’t she just be all like: “HEY CLAIRE! You were gone and someone needed to take care of the kid? Would you rather I gave him up for adoption? INGRATE!”

It really isn’t that complicated.

Jef: Haha yeah just stop acting like you stole the kid.

Anupa: TRUST ME

Jef: Be like I SAVED that blonde bastard.

YOU OWE ME.

Anupa: Claire’s so high school.

Jef: I think Claire really is like fresh from high school though lol.

Anupa: 16 and pregnant.

Jef: She’s one of those girls, you know.

So for sure yeah she ends up in the hospital birthing Aaron, right?

And Sun is there already with her baby saved.

Do you think it’s important that Jack’s son is wandering around there as well?

You think this kid is a factor?

Anupa: Why would Jack bring him to the hospital if not?

They made a point of his mom calling and the kid wanting to spend more time with his dad, and then him coming to the hospital instead of that time together being cut short.

If he doesn’t have a role to play I’m gonna call it and say the writers are spending their time crafting nonsense instead of the shit THE RATINGS PAY THEM TO DO.

I’m writing too much in caps this interrobang.

Diary of an angry brown woman.

Jef: No yeah I think he’s important too.

I mean, IMPORTANT TOO.

Anupa: Sorry, Angry Asian Man is taken already.

Jef: And he’s wandering free right now, with almost everyone there.

Anupa: But yeah, so the spoiler I read for today’s episode was that WALT shows up.

But he didn’t.

BUT

…what if he does now?

That would make all the kids.

Jef: He HAS to.

I will forgive the writers a lot of shit, but not Walt.

Anupa: We can send them cards that when you open them up they go WALLLLT like those birthday cards that play happy birthday.

Jef: Haha yeah if they don’t follow through I will forever send them WALT letters.

Anupa: LOL

Jef: They will just say WAAAALT.

Or maybe “He’s my son! WAAAALT!”

Anupa: But seriously, why spend that time setting that whole thing up about him being speshal?

Jef: He’ll be there.

I’m saying finale.

Two hour movie style.

Anupa: Hopefully not Bruckheimer style.

Jef: You know they gotta save the most amazing cameos for last.

He’ll maybe be the cliffhanger for the second-last or something.

(Watch him show up next week now for no reason.)

Hm what else?

Wanna touch on Jin and Sun real quick?

Anupa: Yeah

I cried

I’ll admit it.

Jef: I didn’t cry, but I did get excited once I realized what was happening.

Dude, was it just me though, or did you think her brains were gonna fry when she passed through the pylons?

I was wincing.

Anupa: Yeah I totally thought that.

It would’ve been Artz-level awesome

But not, because we like her.

Do you notice Jin sounds like a grizzly bear when he speaks English?

His voice deepens like three registers.

Jef: Lol

I was going to say maybe he’s imitating whoever taught him. But he was taught by Sawyer.

Anupa: “I…love you too.”

LOLOL

Imagine he imitated Sawyer?

Jef: Jin with Sawyer’s twang would be awesome.

Anupa: It would be like seeing a black dude with an Irish accent…. WEIRD.

SO?

Jef: Yeah ok my final thoughts: this episode was dope all around and more impressive because it bucked the formula:

It wasn’t about any one character. It worked the whole ensemble, moved everyone into place, AND still had great character moments.

So I give it (drumroll): my faith. I have confidence they can pull off the finale, for sure.

You?

Anupa: What you said.

The wonders of science? Or the music of Driveshaft?

Knowing that the ingredients for a good LOST episode is a healthy mix of “!!” and “??” Jef and Anupa will be interrobanging the show’s final season every week. As LOST winds down to its conclusion, can its creators dish out all the needed explanations without resorting to exposition? Can they keep up the mystery without succumbing to just more mindfuckery?

Apparently, yes, they can. Hi-five for “Happily Every After”! There be SPOILERS yonder:

Jef: Ok uhm wow

Anupa: Yeah dude

That was a FUCKED UPPP episode.

Jef: Lol so good

It hit all my tender loin spots.

Anupa: Do you feel slightly fatigued after watching it?

Jef: The opposite! I feel ever so amped and tweaking.

My lip is twitching like Desmond’s when he’s angry.

We are on the same page, yes?

The Awesome Page?

Anupa: Dude, there is so much going on that my brain can’t handle it. I might time travel.

But the Island is probably not done with me yet.

Let’s start with that opening scene.

Jef: Ok yeah my one quibble — was Dez really out cold this entire time since he got shot?

He had no idea he was on a submarine?

Anupa: I just assumed they drugged him?

I liked the fact that it served as a reminder of how little time has actually passed between when we saw him get shot and when these folks actually came to the island…

Jef: Hm yes, good point.

Yo there is an awesome line by Widmore at the start when he says to Jin: “It will be easier for me to show you than to tell you.”

That’s what this show is good at, no matter how much it annoys us when we want answers.

It shows us shit, it doesn’t just tell us.

Anupa: Right.

Jef: Right then and there I knew this episode was going off.

Anupa: It’s like “SO MUCH IS HAPPENING BUT NOT HAPPENING, BUT HAPPENING!”

You feel like the storyline is being pushed forward but you don’t exactly know in what ways.

Jef: But it’s in the exact way it should (for the most part — Lost still has its pee pee episodes).

I feel like most of my gripes about the pacing of this season would be wiped away if I watched it straight marathon on DVD, like I did with the rest of the show.

But either way, here we are, finally, with my one wish: realities crossing!

Anupa: YES!

So happy for this.

Also, when Zoe said “That’s not scheduled til tomorrow morning,”

Widmore said back, “I don’t care when it’s scheduled.”

IT’S SKEDULED, NOT SHEDULED SILLY!

Jef: Haha do you think that was a nod to the fact the writers knew they had to start speeding shit up?

Anupa: LOL it could be, I was just irritated that Zoe said scheduled and Widmore said sheduled. An interjection that has been made at an inappropriate time. Unsheduled.

Jef: Saying “sheduled” is awesome — I wish I could get away with it.

Anupa: Have we seen this station before?

Jef: Nope, I think the Wids built this one themselves.

Anupa: That’s really fast though?

Jef: They got those anti-Smoke pylons up with quickness too.

Widmore seems like a good manager, in that I-fucking-hate-that-guy-but-he-gets-shit-done kind of way.

I’m not surprised.

Anupa: What did you think of the nuke box?

Jef: I thought the whole thing was mad Marvel Comics which means I loved it so much.

As an aside, I didn’t realize how much I missed the sci-fi aspects of this show and didn’t realize how deep we went into fantasy territory lately.

So yeah, I was happy.

Anupa: For sure.

I don’t think it was set up as a sci-fi show per se, so the crappy CGI when Des was frying threw me off.

But ultimately, I dug it when we began to see how that unfolded.

Jef: No no, it wasn’t.

It had this hodgepodge of all these different genres, but the sci-fi took a back seat after the time travel business ended and after the death of Farady.

Lol I was laughing that Dez’s chair was not bolted down, like it would have been in any other similar scene in any other show.

He just smashed the shit out of it.

Anupa: It looked like the chair in the cabin!

Jef: Ha maybe it was! RIP cabin chair.

Anupa: Maybe the other portal is the cabin!

Jef: Hahaha

Ok so Widmore flips 3 switches on Dez and then we flash to the l’aeroport.

What did you think of Dez meeting Claire?

Was there a significance there I missed?

Or just a random we are all everbody moment?

Anupa: You mean, you all everybodyÉ

(MY FUCKING PUNCTUATION HAS STOPPED WORKING AGAIN)

Jef: Oh no the accents!

lololol

Anupa: I hate this laptop, can we put a Paypal thing on the blog to buy me a new one?

And as for Claire, I was thinking there might be some significance in it, but in all likelihood it was probably only to certify the connections…

Jef: Yeah, and to set up Charlie’s obsession I guess…

Anupa: Why else would Desmond want to show these people something in the end if he hadn’t forged a connection with some of them?

And yes, to set up Charlie’s story.

Jef: Guy, did they make Charlie’s ears BIGGER?

Anupa: His hair is shorter!

Proportions!

Jef: During the commercial for Flash Forward I was surprised by how normal-sized he looks in that show.

Haha I think he still wears his Peter Jackson makeup.

Anupa: I like the Geico commercial with the big biscuit.

It looks delicious.

Jef: I don’t know this biscuit, but I’d probably eat it.

How much do you care or not care about Charlie?

He was dead long before I ever started talking Lost with you — are you a fan?

Anupa: Charlie has his moments, but I have a soft spot for him because of the way he died.

And because he was always trying to prove himself: he was always positioned as this sad puppy kind of character and I totally fell for it.

They wrote him really well.

Jef: So did the car scene do anything for you?

Anupa: I mean, earlier when they were talking in the bar I was wondering why exactly ONE moment would affect Charlie in that way?

Not that I’ve had a near-death experience like that, but is the reason this thing really grips Charlie supposed to be blind faith or just to illustrate the power of the moment?

And how did he know it would happen to Dez?

Jef: This is true — I feel like Charlie was kind of “used” in this storyline. Used in a good way, don’t get me wrong, but him more than anyone else seems like a diff. character in this reality.

I felt he was there just to set up Dez’s story.

Anupa: I get you, but in a sense I also think he was there to prove a point about these connections.

I mean he is the character introducing this concept to us.

Jef: I think that’s my thing though (this is a minor gripe here) — he was introducing the love concept to make room for the Dez and Penny story. The actual moment between Charlie and Claire, we didn’t see it, it didn’t matter to us, you know?

But like I said, it’s minor, b/c at this point Charlie’s character is a side player cameo anyway.

Maybe I just wanted to hear Claire say “Chahlie.”

Anupa: LOL, that is weird.

Would you ask her to say it before you kissed her?

Jef: Haha I probably would.

Let me clarify I have the hots for Claire, not Emilie de Ravin.

So all the Claire-isms? Word. That’s all I’ll say. Word.

Anupa: Then you should not watch Remember Me, unless you have the hots for Robert Pattinson. Which I do, after seeing that film.

SMOKING.

Jef: LAUGHING

Anupa: Desmond was also looking quite dapper.

Jef: Dez is man-crushable.

I want to buy that man a fucking a beer.

Anupa: LOL

Jef: Or whatever the fuck he was drinking.

Anupa: 60 year old Scotch.

That’s expensive so I am taking your mancrush seriously.

Jef: Haha yes, he is worthy.

Anupa: HAHAHA Yes. I loved that line from Widmore.

How UNSURPRISING was that reveal?

Jef: Haha yeah for a second I was like GROAN. But it was a commercial break reveal, not a reveal-reveal, so I let it slide.

Anupa: A reveal is a reveal!

Jef: (is a reveal!)

Anupa: Also, another minor gripe:

Desmond got the fastest MRI in the world.

Or at least in the U.S.

Jef: 30 mins?

Anupa: He must have a sick healthcare plan.

Jef: He aborted it with the button yo.

Anupa: Dude, people wait months for that shit.

Jef: Oh ahhahah I got you.

Anupa: And they are super $$

Jef: I guess he’s on that Widmore waiting list.

Anupa: HE GOT THAT WIDMORE PAPER.

Jef: Rich characters always excuse everything.

Ok yo let’s get down to busyness:

ELOISE

Anupa: Right, I think that was one of the most head-scratchy scenes of this whole episode.

What is her fucking deal?

Jef: She knowwwwws.

AND she was like Desmond chasing Penny is “a violation.”

So there are “rules” in this world as well.

Can I geek for a sec?

Has Eloise, through her knowledge of the time-loop, somehow orchestrated the entire reality-splitting? And do these “rules” she mentions imply Jacob and/or Smokey’s presence here as well?

And speaking of the fucking time-loop – is it possible she knew not only that she would shoot her son, Faraday, but also that it would be after Faraday tells Jack to hit the bomb? And if she knew this, maybe that could also mean reality 2 has actually already “happened” before? Even bigger time-loop?

That made sense in my head.

I promise.

Haha we can move on. I’ll clear that one up in the comments, maybe.

Anupa: Yup, you lost me with that.

Maybe Smokey is inhabiting her body.

Jef: Ew Smokey is having sex wid Widmore.

Anupa: Gay?

Jef: Whatever it is, I like it?

Anupa: How cool and normal was Daniel?

We are so used to him being twitchy and nerdly.

I found him minorly babely in this episode.

And I loved that he was a piano player (his aborted childhood passion which we found out about in earlier seasons) and that they tied his physics shit into it, even though that’s not part of his reality 2 persona.

Jef: Dude yeah I love Daniel.

Daniel and Desmond are like Team Science in this bitch and I support them one thousand per cent.

How many awesome turns in Lost are these two side characters responsible for?

Awesome.

Anupa: It’s true.

They are completely intriguing too, and so three dimensional.

Jef: Yeah and maybe because they’re not in our faces every week (JACK AND KATE) we never got the chance to hate them.

Anupa: I could never hate Dez.

He’s my broooothaaa.

Jef: Lol

On the mythology tip — we were saying before that we didn’t get the presence of Team Widmore and what they added to the Jacob/Smokey battle.

I totally think that’s been fleshed out now and it’s more than welcome.

Anupa: Explain

Jef: Well I think before I had it set up in my head that Jacob’s crew = faith and Smokey’s crew = free will.

But now with the scientists all in the mix and Desmond dropping jewels like “there’s always a choice” — I feel like this is the true Team Free Will.

And Smokey’s set is more like Team Superstition and Mindfuckery.

Remember how we were always saying the characters had to make the final moves? And the end had to not be about Jacob and Smokes? And maybe new Locke and new Jack would be the most powerful characters in the end?

I feel like Widmore/Desmond/Daniel open us up to that actually happening.

I likes.

Anupa: Right

The juxtaposition of all these faith-y episodes versus this heavily sci-fi one was cool.

You are right, it kind of breaks you out of the reverie a bit.

Two episodes ago, we were in 19th century Andalusia.

Jef: Haha word.

Anupa: Now we are dealing with nukes and shit.

Jef: Know what’s most awesome though?

They fucking set up a scientific (or at least sci-fi-ific) explanation for LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT.

So romance.

Anupa: YES

Jef: Like, how can I not gush all over this.

Anupa: At first I thought it was cheesy, but I love it.

Why are you more emo than I?

I am going to buy you a Danielle Steele boxset for Christmas.

Jef: Hahahah. I am Sawyer with Juliet, you are Sawyer with Kate.

Anupa: Nicholas Sparks too.

I am not Sawyer, I am whoever Sawyer finally ends up with happily ever after.

Jef: Haha well to maintain my tenuous grip on manhood let me clarify, I’m not gushing over love at first sight, I’m tripping over the idea of this sci-fi reasoning for it.

It’s awesome.

What got you open about this ep?

Anupa: The whole idea of Desmond being this enabler

Jef: Enabler! Perfect word.

Anupa: Who will bring everyone around to their lives as we know their lives.

Don’t want to necessarily call it their true lives.

I am very curious to see how this continues to play out once he gets a hold of the manifest.

I am also curious if this means that near-death experiences are what help you see the truth.

This some Matrix shit.

Jef: Widmore totally had a Morpheus line in his office,

“Ah, to be free of attachments.”

The question is though, who’s actually going to want to go back to island-reality?

Who won’t be on Desmond’s side?

Anupa: Locke?

Jef: Haha yeah, that dying thing sucks.

Really though, most of them are happier here in paralleland.

And/or, breathing.

And/or not crazy.

Is the “what happened, happened” line actually a correct stance to take on things?

Anupa: Who said that?

Jef: Eloise I think.

Anupa: Right.

I mean, it could be.

Anupa: How will the Island factor into this anyway if it is buried underwater?

Jef: I’m guessing old white lady knows.

And she’s not telling.

Old white ladies and their secrets, man.

Anupa: ROLES REVERSED

In this reality, old white ladies hold the power.

Jef: *raises fist*

*full of prunes*

Anupa: and doilies

I am betting you like how Sayid just ninja’d into that last scene.

He so stealth!!!

Jef: Haha forreal he even looks action figure-ish lately.

Him and his plastic expressions.

Anupa: Yeah dude. He is just gonna become known as the ninja dude.

He is stealing work from Asian Actors!

Jef: Who will his final kung-fu battle be with?

Anupa: Sun!

Jef: Yes!

Azn prYdE

Anupa: Round one! Fight!

Why did Desmond go with Sayid?

Jef: 1) You can’t fight Sayid.

2) You can’t fight Sayid?

Naw I dunno, I think he just wants to the talk to the rest of the crew? Shrugs.

Anupa: LOL, true.

If I was on TV, I would go with Sayid too.

I just wanted to add how beautiful this episode was in its mirroring of past episodes.

Jef: Ah yes

Anupa: Seeing old faces, old settings.

Loved the stadium scene.

Jef: The stadium was dope.

I loved that shot against the seats where it looks like a grid and Dez is moving horizontally and Penny is coming down vertically and it looks like they’re going to meet and click like cosmic Tetris pieces.

Anupa: You are the cybercupid.

Jef: Lol

They fucking with us you, you know?

The get it in our heads that deja vu is love at first sight.

Then they go out of their way to give us deja vu with all the mirroring.

Anupa: Bad shit can only come.

Jef: A lot can happen in 20 minutes.

Anupa: It’s not real time!

Jef: Lol

Ok you have a final word?

Anupa: jes

But I can’t do it cus my punctuation is fucked

<3

nevermind, there it is!

Jef: Hahaha

Appropriately enough, this feels like deja vu.

Anupa: I am no longer impatient.

This episode was very satisfying.

Jef: Five episodes left right?

I hope this is the clear No Filler Zone.

Yeah, I give this episode whatever it wants.

It wuz gud.

Anupa: A+++++++++++++++++

Whatever, guys. Can we just... do something else now?

Knowing that the ingredients for a good LOST episode is a healthy mix of “!!” and “??” Jef and Anupa will be interrobanging the show’s final season every week. As LOST winds down to its conclusion, can its creators dish out all the needed explanations without resorting to exposition? Can they keep up the mystery without succumbing to just more mindfuckery?  Last week we were pleased to discover that Miles was finding stuff to do, so you can imagine our delight when  he showed up early on in “Recon.” Not that this was a Miles episode anyway, but since the majority of this recap will involve exploring the depths of Sawyer’s  ungodly good looks (along with deciphering Smoke-Locke’s intentions and Sayid’s hilarious newfound nonchalance) I figured I should begin misleadingly. SPOILERS after the jump:

Anupa: Sawyer is so hot. I would lick cake batter off his body.

Jef: Haha ok. Yes. Good start.

Anupa: #justsayin

Okay, but really. I enjoyed this episode a lot; for some reason, Sawyer and Miles make a fantastic team.

I really enjoy watching them together… maybe it’s because they are both sarcastic jerks?

Jef: I think we’re switching places from the Sayid episode. I liked this one in parts, but overall it kinda missed me.

But yes, I like Sawyer and Miles as a team. I also liked their break-up scene where Miles throws him into the locker.

It was very Saved By The Bell.

Anupa: Well, with Sawyer I feel like they’re obviously catering to female fans, so the storyline suffers a bit.

Is that wrong of me to say? I feel like it’s the truth in a sense. It’s very..shirtless-scene, big reveal, witty one liner, wry emotion, shirtless-scene.

Maybe I’m simplifying Sawyer.

Jef: Lol don’t get me wrong—I love Sawyer, no pause, he totally owned last season.

This episode just didn’t feel tight.

Anupa: The logical part of my brain sees that but my female hormones are vehemently disagreeing with you.

Jef: That sounds so menacing!

Ok let’s talk some shit:

Do you think Miles can break bread with ghosts in this reality?

Anupa: I was wondering about that. I think that that might be some type of continuity thing; they all seem to retain the vaguely special/significant things about them, and in terms of Miles, aside from his Dad being whats-his-face-with-the-fake-arm, that’s his “thing.”

Jef: Hm yeah you’re right, and that’s a big testament to how thin his character is in Reality Prime.

Once you erase his daddy issues, there’s not much left aside from him calling Sawyer “boss.”

Anupa: And occasional meany-ness.

Since we’re on the topic of Miles, what did you think of Charlotte’s return?

Jef: They even took away his lechery!

“I have a girlfriend.” Whatever!

The Charlotte thing just felt extra to me.

Of course I like the “everyone is connected” bit, it’s one of the meaningful aspects of the show, but I don’t see the point of it with her. That had NO connection to who she was on the island.

Anupa: Right… it was random.

But didn’t you thinking she looked smoking?

Jef: LOL

Anupa: I totally have a thing for gingers.

Jef: I was waiting for her to get a nosebleed.

Anupa: Gross!!!

Also, I felt like she was totally prying and not just looking for a shirt after her and Sawyer did it.

Like, it almost felt like she was up to something…

Reading too much into it?

Jef: Yeah, it was almost like Miles sent her on purpose, which would tie into the “Recon” theme, but they didn’t sell that.

Anupa: OH. That’s totally it.

DUH.

Jef: Naw, they didn’t make it clear. It’s a miss!

Anupa: Can I just add that you don’t go looking in someone’s drawer when they say they’re going to get a glass of water? That is indicative of a prompt return.

If you’re gonna snoop, do it when they take a dump or shower.

That was just bad timing on her part.

Jef: Yeah and I don’t see the big deal about lying about it.

Just be like “Yo, I found this picture you keep in your drawer with your dead parents because you told me go in the drawer to get a t-shirt.”

Anupa: Also, in other Charlotte-related grievances, why would she give him the screwface when he brought her a flower?

I mean, she has got to be fucking some fly-ass men to turn that down.

Jef: Awwwwww, sunflower and a six-pack.

I’m totally stealing that.

Anupa: Sawyer knows what’s up.

But, I think all of this illustrates that Sideways Sawyer’s storyline was definitely a little thin…

We find out he is still looking for his dad, blah blah blah.

Jef: Yeah I was going to say—what’s the point of giving him this big change of heart, but really he hasn’t had a change of heart?

Anupa: I like how they set it up as ‘this is what would happen if he chose the other path,’ but after that, the episode depended heavily on his swooniness.

Jef: At least Sayid was FORCED into a situation that brought him back to where he was. Here Sawyer’s like, “I chose the path of righteousness! But I’m still gonna kill the motherfucker.”

Wanna head to the island for a bit?

First off what the hell is up with Claire’s tent? It’s made scrap metal and shit?

It looked like the end of The Brave Little Toaster.

Anupa: HAHAHAHA Claire is hilarious.

Also I love The Brave Little Toaster.

They are writing her craziness so poorly.

“AND THEN… SHE WILL NEATLY FOLD THE BLANKET OVER HER CREEPY ANIMAL SKULL CHILD.”

Jef: LOL

Also, her attack on Kate was way too random.

Anupa: Yeah the ambush was dumb, especially since it was preceded by Claire holding Kate’s hand.

I loved that scene when Kate walked in to the tent and was like all like “Yo guy, what is dat?” Because it’s what we’re all thinking, and then Claire got all embarrassed by it.

Jef: It sucks because De Ravin is surprisingly good at being crazy. But yeah the writers are wasting it.

LOL she got all sheepish like “Oh..this old thing?”

Anupa: Once again, too cliche, horror-movie scary

HAH

And then the Kate-Claire hug later on….I wished Claire just committed to the crazy and stabbed Kate in the neck or some shit.

Jef: They’re going back and forth between making her lucid and making her totally insane, and it’s not playing well. Just choose one.

Anupa: Exactly.

Jef: What’d you think of Sayid’s level of crazy?

Anupa: I LOVED IT!

It was hilarious. He looked sooooooo nonchalant. And Naveen Andrews plays bored VERY well.

Come to think of it, everyone who is acting crazy is coming off as hilarious so maybe this is more atrocious than I am interpreting it as.

But didn’t you just guffaw a little when he stayed chilling on that log.

Jef: “Are you ok?”

Anupa: * yawn *

Jef: “No.”

I like that his infection is really just making him emo.

Anupa: He needs to borrow Richard’s guyliner.

Jef: It would be awesome if he was like, “I’m BUSY! God!”

Anupa: From there, what is Smocke’s deal?

Jef: Ok yeah, the episode was ehhh for me but thumbs up for the scene with Smokes and Kate!

That “I had a crazy mother” bit is great Lost because it is an answer and a question at the same time.

Anupa: Right.

I also loved the comparison, that now Aaron has a crazy mother.

First, because it was funny that Smocke called Claire crazy, because she is.

Second, because I do not know what it means for Aaron, but I find it interesting.

Jef: Oh yeah, so many things to think about now with Aaron.

Anupa: Is he going to be the next Smokey?

Jef: Remember back when the psychic told Claire that bad things would happen if anyone else raises Aaron? Now Smokes is pretty much validating Kate’s decision to adopt.

I dunno if he’ll be Smokey—maybe! I still have this feeling that Walt and Aaron play into all this in the same way.

And baby Kwon.

Anupa: Well their presence would be pointless if not.

“Bad things” happen to other people maybe. I.e. Claire goes crazy

Jef: Crazy hot.

Anupa: .

Moving on.

I like how Smocke said he would get everyone off the island, but does that just mean he is moving them to Hydra island… i.e. is he playing a game of semantics?

Jef: AHahahah imagine??

What an asshole!

Anupa: “I did take you off the island, but I didnt say WHERE I was taking you!”

Jef: Fade to black.

Anupa: That would be like the No Homers Club on The Simpsons.

Jef: That would be the craziest finale ever.

Anupa: I am actually losing my mind laughing at the No Homers Club right now—that shit was funny.

Jef: “We said no Homersssss.”

Anupa: HAHAHA YES.

Okay but back to Smocke’s intentions:

Is he good or bad…? What sense are you getting?

Jef: What I love about Smokes is that he’s very upfront about shit.

He’s like “Yeah, I’m that smoke thing.”

“You’re right, I’m not Locke.”

So I believe him that he just wants off the fucking island.

Anupa: Well, not really though… he told everyone that the Smoke Monster killed the people in the temple but he only told certain people that he is the Smoke Monster.

If he really was being straight, he would have said that HE killed the people in the temple.

So, he is being selective to an extent.

Jef: Haha yeah, but you know what I mean right? This where the Satan parallel comes in again, because yeah he’s playing mindgames to his advantage, but he ain’t really lying.

Honestly though, if anyone reading this has some sort of Judeo-Christian knowledge help me out:

Is there a Jacob in there with an evil brother and a crazy mother? Because the whole vibe is biblical to me.

Anupa: True say, guy.

Time to read the bible!

Jef: Noooooooo!

Anupa: Widmore: what is his deal and what is in that locked room?

Jef: Shit, I have no idea.

But I HOPE it is Reality 2 Faraday!

Anupa: I hope it is another Smoke Monster and then there will be a Smoke Monster duel!

ROUND ONE…. FIGHT!

Jef: Oh man smoke vs. smoke, that’s like Sub Zero v. Scorpion.

Anupa: LOL

Jef: Who do you think had the better mirror smash?

Sawyer or Jack?

Anupa: Sawyer, because his was a dreamier smash.

Jef: Fair enough.

Anupa: I still do not understand what Widmore wants with the Island, because now it is Jacob versus Smokey versus Widmore?

Jef: Yeah it’s weird because Widmore wants the island, but Smoke doesn’t.

Where’s the conflict?

Anupa: TRADESIES!

Jef: I guess obvs they have a past together and some unsettled scores…shrugs.

Anupa: Does that shrug denote that you are content to passively watch how this plays out?

Jef: Yup. I dunno what’s up with Widmore but I’m confident it’s going somewhere. It’s not annoying me or nothing.

Anupa: It’s annoying me. Also, because the dude who plays Widmore is on, like, every TV show ever.

So he just seems like a random dude to me instead of *DUN DUN DUN * WIDMORE

He was on The OC for shits sake.

Jef: For real? He must be one of those character actors who blends in all the time because I have no idea who he is.

Anupa: Well he is, because I don’t know his name, he just plays some villainous old white dude.

All the time.

He must be the first guy they call when they are casting a villainous old white guy.

Jef: He’s got this diet-Brian Cox vibe, yeah.

Yo, that cliffhanger was SO WEAK.

“We’re taking the sub.”

WOW. The sub over the BROKEN PLANE?

Anupa: Yeah, it was a little Bruckheimer.

Jef: Well shit, let me just spit my food out.

Anupa: Don’t get any on me.

What is your final verdict?

Jef: I’m giving it the side-eye. It wasn’t bad but I didn’t see the point of half of it. Just a ‘lil !. No ?

Anupa: And I give it a <3

Jef: Gross. You should make “La Fleur” your safe word.

Anupa: Whatever papi! I’m out. BTW I’m taking the sub.

Jef: NO WAY!

Miles put it best: “Still hot though.”

Knowing that the ingredients for a good LOST episode is a healthy mix of “!!” and “??” Jef and Anupa will be interrobanging the show’s final season every week. As LOST winds down to its conclusion, can its creators dish out all the needed explanations without resorting to exposition? Can they keep up the mystery without succumbing to just more mindfuckery? In “Sundown” we begin with a fight and are set up for a fight, while being reminded along the way that some characters we haven’t seen in a while could definitely still get it. SPOILERS after the jump:

Jef: Wow okay this one is hard to start because I want so bad to start at the end

Anupa: We could if you want

Let’s be non-linear, LIKE LOST

Jef: No I think it’s just because I just finished watching

Well let’s just start with Sayid in general

Do you love this transformation?

Anupa: no

Jef: DO TELL

Anupa: are they making a terrorist analogy?

Jef: Oh. Haha no I don’t think so. I think he’s been fleshed out enough but break it down for me.

Anupa: I’m being simplistic. Just the way he, like, infiltrated and then fucked them up.

It was also written very confusingly: like first he was leaving, then Dogen wanted him back, then he left, then he came back, then he stayed but was going to leave anyway.

I mean, I guess that was done to add to the confusion about whether Sayid is “good” or “bad” and set up the twist at the end, but it left me kind of frustrated.

Also, it was a little TOO much Sayid (I can’t believe I’m saying that)

Jef: Well yeah but therein lies the transformation—the Sayid we saw at the beginning of the episode is not necessarily the same Sayid that we saw at the end.

I kind of loved how seamless they did that whole poison/corruption of his character. I always thought it was like this virus or brainwashy thing, but it was organic enough — rooted in actual events — that it was real even though it was startling.

As for the terrorist stuff—it’s a judgment call on your end I guess. I mean, he’s an Iraqi torturer. That’s been his character and his struggle since we met him.

If it didn’t bother you then, I don’t see why it should now.

Anupa: It’s true. Like I said, I was being simplistic.

But what events do you mean?

Jef: He was being dicked around by Dogen. Smokey gave a hell of a convincing speech. I could see even a character who wasn’t corrupted making the same choices, you know?

The big OH SHIT HE’S EVIL moment comes from Ben when he does the bug-eyed slow retreat, which was AWESOME.

Anupa: Okay, right. So basically him being determined “bad” meant he would always make that choice.

I could see someone like Jack not doing that.

It’s almost like being good and bad is innate.

Jef: Yeah, Jack’s always been trusting to a fault, whereas Sayid’s kind of a paranoid loner.

It was kind of tragic that in paralello-verse Sayid is the one character we’ve seen so far who doesn’t find redemption.

He still kills. He gets to see Nadia but she’s not with him.

Anupa: What’d you make of that? For a second I thought it would be Shannon or someone when the door opened at the beginning, but of course it was Nadia.

Then “Uncle Sayid!”

Jef: It hurt to watch in a way. But it was awesome character-wise and certainly upped the stakes for Universe Two. It doesn’t feel safe there anymore.

It’s like his corruption bleeds over into the new reality and it’s the first bad thing we’ve seen blur over like that.

Anupa: Right. It’s continuity in a way.

I did find that whole Mainlandverse storyline a little humdrum.

I read a great re-cap today on Vulture and the blogger was saying it felt like Nadia fanfic

LOL

All dramatic and filled with longing and pushing and pulling between the two.

Jef: Ha VERY. The whole money-owing plot is mad cliched too.

But I loved the appearance by Martin Keamy, who is a fantastic thug as far as thug characters go.

Something about his asshole face.

I had a lot of fun seeing him back!

Anupa: He’s a hot thug!

Although he looked better with his head shaved and his muscles rippling.

Yum.

I loved how eccentric they make him. Let’s give it up for eccentric bad guys:

“Want some eggs? I make good eggs.”

Jef: HAHA I was just typing that.

And it’s great how he eats the eggs, shovelling them into his asshole mouth.

Anupa: I would’ve said “yes I would like some eggs”

and then he would’ve asked me how I like my eggs

Jef: I am dreading the punchline

Anupa: and I would’ve said “FERTILIZED”

Jef: ZING THERE IT IS

Anupa: shaddap

also, can I point out:

(and I’m not Iraqi so I have no real context)

but Nadia’s accent feels excruciating to listen to

I always hear it in my head and it makes me cringe

Jef: You are bothered by so many accents! What accents do you like?

I fall in love with Irish women off voice only.

Anupa: I like men’s Australian accents

Jef: Haha just not Claire’s.

Sun and Jin?

Anupa: Listen, Jin gets a major pass

that guy is FINE AS FUCK

He has this sexy deep voice too.

Annnnnnyway

Jef: Haha,well that is a good segue

Because after the eggs and the Sayid and the shooting we find Jin in the freezer.

Reality 2 is getting gangster.

Anupa: Yeah that was cool.

I am so curious as to how this will all tie together. OR NOT, in the case of Lost.

Jef: I am wondering if it will all lead back again to Widmore, and of course Desmond, because we met him already, and ultimately Faraday

Who will be the one to explain everything and/or join the universes.

Anupa: At the very least, he’d be the best equipped to do so.

Let’s head back to the Island since not much else happened IRL

Jef: Yeah OK actually back to the opening scene

LOL what did you think of the kung-fu fight between Dogen and Sayid?

Anupa: HAHA

Well my first thought, because I always think about these things, is WHY was he being so damn meticulous about his plants in the first episode if he was so willing to let them get jacked up in that fight?

THE BONSAI!

Jef: It was all a part of his mysterious Asian act?

Anupa: but it was a pretty awesome fight sequence—I feel like we haven’t seen once of those in a while

Jef: Do you think the mysterious Asian act was Dogen’s idea? Or was Jacob like “LOL okay so you’ll wear your hair like this, and you’ll have BONSAI PLANTS!”

Anupa: LOL. He’s just culturally ASIAN!

If he was Indian, he’d have a mustache and spend his time watching old Bollywood movies

Jef: And he’d have a dance with Sayid, not a fight.

But yeah I did think the fight was fun

Anupa: DAMN YOU!

Jef: Sayid was doing all this Jackie Chan shit, throwing the props around!

Anupa: What did you make of the baseball?

Wasn’t a baseball one of the things that Richard brought when he tested young John Locke seasons ago?

Jef: YES I THINK SO

Which stands to reason Dogen picked the baseball

When he was a little tyke.

No yeah, I dunno. The baseball thing kind of missed me but mostly because I still don’t care about Dogen.

Anupa: Well we don’t really have to worry about that anymore.

Jef: It’s just way too late to try and introduce new characters. I’m glad he’s done with.

Anupa: Yeah, I feel like that was a huge fuck up on the part of the writers

It’s cool if they wanted to make them all plot device-y, but they shouldn’t have been so 3D.

Jef: Definitely. That’s kind of why I’m cool with Ilana, because they’re not really asking me to care about her. Dogen died in the Lazarus pit though. You don’t think he might return?

Anupa: I realllllly hope not.

Jef: At the very least I hope Dogen dead gives Miles something to do.

Anupa: haha, yeah, aside from playing Solitaire and saying crazy Claire is hot

You should’ve put him as your Facebook picture for Doppelganger week.

Jef: Aha that was an awesome Miles moment though, him checking out Kate like “Wow” and Claire being “still hot though.” I forgot Miles was all lecherous.

Anupa: It’s really funny how Claire is fucking batshit one minute and then super normal the next.

Jef: I really like the new Claire, and I’m not just saying that for sex reasons. I LOVED that stank face she gave Kate when she was in the pit and Kate told her about Aaron.

That’s totally how I look at Kate all the time.

Anupa: It was kind of weird though, because earlier she had said she would kill Kate if she had taken Aaron, and then Kate confessed and Claire was all giggly and shit.

EMPTY THREATS

Jef: Ha don’t worry though. Kate is far from safe.

Anupa: As evidenced by that WTF look on her face at the end

Jef: I think it woulda been a great moment if at the posse shot at the end Sawyer was there with the whole crew.

I’m sure the writers have better plans, but that would have been a good “oh shit” moment for Kate.

Anupa: Where is he again?

Jef: We don’t know. Last we saw, he agreed to leave the island with Smokey.

So the only ones who are currently WITH Jacob are Jack and Hurley, right?

Smokey is WINNING.

Anupa: Yup.

But again,we have no idea if he’s good or bad.

Jef: You know what though? I’m comfortable now saying that he’s the bad guy.

Anupa: You’re right. They’re setting him up as the bad guy, why not believe it?

Maybe the bad guy wins.

Jef: Not that he IS Satan, but the writers are totally giving him Satan traits. He shape shifts, the cloud is snake-like, and he keeps luring everyone in by promising them free will and independence and shit.

Anupa: Don’t forget he encourages peopl eto do bad shit

Jef: That darn Satan!

Oh and yeah the “Evil Incarnate” thing.

Dude, how do you feel about Ben?

Do you think his story is essentially over?

Anupa: I think he’s essential to the story

But I think he’s just along for the ride now

I don’t think he’ll influence things

Jef: Yeah I hope he plays a bigger part later. He’s too good of a character.

Anupa: That scene you mentioned earlier with him backing off all scared and shit from Sayid: that was a great 30 seconds of acting.

Jef: SO GOOD.

Not too many actors can sell the bug-eyed slow retreat.

Anupa: I love slow retreats. Usually they’re hilarious. But this one was real.

Jef: Dude I’m totally going to do one for you IRL. I will bide my time for the appropriate moment.

Anupa: I might pee my pants. You can’t do it if we’re drinking.

Jef: Oh that’s so when it’s going to happen though!

LOL but guy, talk to me:

Aside from being bored by the money-owing subplot, I clearly loved this episode off.

Tell me more about why you didn’t

Anupa: I’ve been thinking about that but I can’t really put my finger on it.

It was clearly a plot advancing episode, with not much new revealed (aside from the big twist) and nothing really answered.

So, I guess I feel in the middle about it—it just didn’t do much for me.

And usually there’s enough going on in both storylines to be engaging but maybe the off-island plot put a damper on things.

Jef: In general, are you a Sayid fan?

Anupa: I dig Sayid, I usually really like his episodes.

He’s layered

Maybe this episode revealed that he’s actually not

His life revolves around two things: Nadia and killing

There is no redemption there

Maybe that’s why he’s bad

Jef: Are you going to hate this show if it ultimately ends up on some fate shit?

Like it really is about this higher power pushing people around on a chess board and there’s nothing they can do about it?

Too soon?

Anupa: No I don’t think so. I’m personally invested in the way it’s carried out, not the final outcome.

I’m pretty fatalistic actually so that’s right in line with my personal beliefs in a way

Jef: LOL

I’m not sure how to end this after THAT.

Anupa: Did you feel this episode was well-written?

Could it have been executed better?

Jef: Aside from some of the Sayid universe 2 plot yeah I liked it.

Great dialogue bits, humour, was able to sneak in really good but short bits for characters that normally don’t register—even Dogen!—and it pushed the plot along in a faster pace than we’ve seen yet in this season.

It’s the first episode where I felt like I was on a ride.

Anupa: I normally trust your opinion, so maybe I’m just way off in my assessment of this episode.

Jef: Well we both agree the side-story was a bit off. You probably just felt it a lot more than I did.

Anupa: I am a lady.

Jef: And I was too busy being happy that Universe Two is no longer this safe happy zone to be angry about how it got there.

This has been am oddly heavy conversation.

I have no jokes to end it.

Anupa: Neither do I.

I give it a .

Jef: LOL

(INSERT: POSSE SHOT)

"I HAZ WHAT IT TAKES!"

Knowing that the ingredients for a good LOST episode is a healthy mix of “!!” and “??” Jef and Anupa will be interrobanging the show’s final season every week. As LOST winds down to its conclusion, can its creators dish out all the needed explanations without resorting to exposition? Can they keep up the mystery without succumbing to just more mindfuckery? This episode was called “Lighthouse”, but easily could have also been called “Mirrors” or “Through the Looking Glass” or “Follow the Forearms” or “Claire’s Skillz.” SPOILERS after the jump:

Anupa: Okay

you start

(sorry i always say that i know)

Jef: Lol it’s ok. We need a trademark opening

It just backfires on you though because I always start with a question

Anupa: True

But I am easier that way, ask and I shall tell

Jef: Jack’s appendix scar? Are you feeling that theory now that this is NOT a parallel universe?

That it’s a flashforward?

Anupa: But then his mom would’ve lied to him, bc he clearly took his appendix out in season 4 (i think)

on ze island

Jef: not that she lied…how do i say…that yes time gets re-done and they get a second chance…but it’s still THEM. i.e. the island happened

Anupa: Okay I get it

So they experience the island, but they reset?

How does that explain a kid?

Jef: Hm yes you are right. Ok let’s flashback for a bit and recount what we’ve learned

1) Jack sucks in his stomach when looking in the mirror, even if it’s just him there

2) Jack has a kid

3) Jack is scarred up

Anupa: 4) Jack is his mother’s bitch boy

Jef: Of course he is!

Do you think the identity of the mom is important?

Anupa: Some people are saying it might be Shannon, I don’t know why. And therefore wouldn’t Jack and Boone have interacted on the plane? Or does it reset everything so much that Shannon and Boone don’t even become step-siblings?

Jef: Haha where do you keep going for these horrible theories?

Anupa: TV re-caps

lol

Jef: Or are they your theories, and you’re just “I have a friend of a friend who has this problem….”

Anupa: I am not smart enough to develop a theory

we both know this

But the mom is important. I think the kid kind of looks like Kate, but I don’t know if they are that precise in casting.

Jef: Yeah that was my first instinct, but they had some interaction on the plane so I think that’s nixed

Were you feeling that whole storyline? The father/son battle?

Anupa: I loved it.

Let me tell you something. I fucking hate Jack, but this episode reminded me of how much I would do Matthew Fox.

Jef: My gf is a fan.

Anupa: This is significant, because when he was being irritating Jack I didn’t even think about doing him.

But that whole redemptive, inattentive-father, mirrored-relationship storyline between Jack and David reignited my Matthew Fox passions.

Jef: LOL. I think this is how everyone who plays on my team feels about Shannon.

Anupa: This makes sense.

What did you think of it?

Jef: The second reality is more and more definitely about redemption and shit. Last week we saw a brand new happy Locke who comes to terms with his station in life. Here we get to see Jack kind of break the cycle of bad parenting that’s been fucking over ALL the characters since jump

Anupa: Ahh.. I see

Jef: It was all warm and gushy, but in a nice way

What did you think of Dogen showing up at the piano recital?

Because like of course the samurai dude is all up in the piano scene. Of course.

Anupa: We ruvvv Asians!

Um, I don’t think too deep into that to be honest. It felt more like a way to tie everything together.

Although he did seem a little like he knew what was going on.

But that could be because he is a wise Asian, because Asians are wise.

Jef: Yeah I try my hardest to always look like I know what’s going on

Anupa: Confucius.

Jef: Actually now that I think about it though, he did kinda break the stereotype when he was like “We pressure our kids too much.”

Haha Dogen’s 2nd reality redemption is not being a hard-assed Asian dad.

Anupa: LOL

He is breaking the stereotype!

Jef: Maybe I’ll make my dad watch Lost, and then after that scene act like it’s the big ending.

Back to the island:

Super season 1 journey going on

I kinda missed Hurley dragging himself through the jungle every week never knowing what’s going on

Anupa: Hurley is a great character

It is funny how he says what fans are thinking. I mean it is obviously intentional, but it is funny.

Jef: Yeah. He totally makes things OK like that.

YO when I saw that he wrote all those directions on his forearm

I thought of that Simpsons gag where the guy with the big hand is reading off his palm “I am tired of all these jokes about my giant hand. The first such incident occurred in 1967 when…”

Anupa: HAHAHAH

but he does have a big-ass arm

I couldnt believe he wrote all that stuff on it

Jef: Dude there was so much writing on it!

Anupa: It reminded me of the fact that he has not lost weight!

So frustrating!

He is on an island

Jef: lol this was Hurley’s purpose all along.

Jacob needed somebody on the island with one big forearm

Anupa: BWAHAH

I am sold on that theory.

Jef: Hurley can’t lose weight! It would fuck with the brand.

Do you think once the show is over he’s gonna pull a Seth Rogan and drop a couple sizes?

Anupa: It would be nice.

For his health, you know.

What did you make of that whole lighthouse thing?

Jef: I think it’s fun whenever we get new set pieces. I didn’t think the spyglass thing felt as fucking weird or magical or whatever as I would have liked it to

But I like that Jack smashed the fuck out of it

He’s been so wishy-washy and emo the past little while, I’m down with him just going off

Anupa: But it also represented the return of non-crush Jack.

Like, god, there he goes again.

Did you catch whose name was next to 108

Jef: NO! Did you?

I still have it PVR’d, I can go check the instant replay later

Anupa: I am not sure if they even showed it but yeah

Jef: I did catch that Kate’s name was there — but she wasn’t on the cave scrawl, right?

Anupa: I think she was there, she just wasn’t one of the numbers

So maybe they did not linger near her name for too long

Jef: So is Kate not a candidate you think? What you think her deal is?

Anupa: I think Kate is not a candidate.

I swear I remember them saying in a past season that she is not good

Good in the Others-sense

Jef: I kind of hope Claire murks her.

I like watching Claire murk people.

Anupa: Yo, you are brainwashed by the crazy.

Claire is certifiably kookoo

Did you see the skully-dead-thing in the cradle?

Jef: hahaha yes I loved it

Dude, I am starting to really feel bad for Jin

This fucking guy can’t catch a break

Anupa: That is because you are Asian

Sympathizer.

Jef: He’s constantly confused, hurt, being blown up, bear-trapped

yes, I am a Jin activist

Anupa: Wife-missing.

Jef: But like, he has no destiny storyline or anything

He’s just there, constantly getting fucked up!

Anupa: Child-not-knowing.

Jef: Not being able to communicate

Being ignored by Kate

I’m telling you!

FREE JIN.

Anupa: I think what Dogen proves is that Asians are a plot device on Lost.

I am going to make you that shirt for your birthday.

Jef: LOL awesome

Like, does Miles not have a storyline anymore??

Anupa: Again, plot device. He did his part. He talked to Juliet after she was buried.

Jef: FREE JIN AND MILES

Anupa: JILES

We did not finish talking about Claire

I miss normal Claire. Batshit Claire is scary. I think 50% of it is the bad wig.

25% is the accent.

Jef: I lurve batshit Claire!

She was may more annoying when she was all “My baby! My baby! Get away Charlie!” like EVERY WEEK

100% love for the accent

Anupa: CHAWLY

Jef: I like Aussie accents. Sometimes they sound like pirates!

Anupa: They sound like exactly like I would expect descendants of criminals to sound like.

Jef: Hey hey that’s racist!

( I am now doing meta-Ashcan jokes )

Anupa: So who did you think she was talking about when she first referenced her friend?

Jef: I thought it was Christian

Or Ghost-Christian

Anupa: Why do you think Jin waited so long to tell her about Kate?

Jef: Haha I think that was just Lost being annoying

they always do that shit

Anupa: It was mad annoying, then he back-tracked. Rightfully so, but it was frustrating.

Jef: So what’s Jin’s plan you think?

Sic Claire on all the Others?

Anupa: I am not sure. But I feel like he may not know exactly what he is doing

But that is so unlike Jin.

Jef: Yeah he looked like he was freestyling

Do you think they’re going overkill with the parallels?

Like Claire/Jin is Rosseau/Sayid, etc

They seem to be doing a whole lot of that shit

Anupa: Maybe, I don’t tend to read into that shit too much.

It is what it is for me.

Jef: I think that’s part of my problem though, is that there’s nothing to read into. They do it just because.

I take that back though, I have no problem with it.

I just don’t know what to do with it.

LOL that made no sense. I think I am infected.

Anupa: If there is anything that will kill you around here, it is infection.

Jef: Good line!

Anupa: Agreed.

Here is something: Jack seemed pretty nonchalant about the revelation that Claire is his sister

Jef: Which Jack?

Island Jack? Or New Jack City?

Anupa: Island-Jack.

LOLOL I LIKE THAT

Jef: Oh dude, he knew already

I can’t remember when, but he found out

Anupa: Goddamn, someone better clarify that in the comments for us.

Jef: That’s why he was all about Aaron for a bit in the Oceanic 6 story (“He’s my family too.”)

Anupa: Oh true. Okay, okay.

Jef: Can I just say though, when Jack was on the phone in his new city digs

what was up with that fakeass skyline?

Or was that real and I just spend too much time in the basement?

Anupa: They probably did not want to go all the way to LA to shoot that scene

Jef: It looked like Late Night with Jaaaack Shephard

Anupa: Here is something to chew on: remember when that Black Other, Blother…B…rother…said that they picked up Claire because she was in the jungle picking them off?

Jef: (i am laughing)

Anupa: It kind of reminds us that we do not know who is good and bad still… like, our Losties are motivated by fear and so they shoot to kill and the Others capture because these plane-folk are running around with guns.

Jef: Yup true. Which is kind of what pisses me off about the Dogen character

We already know that the Others are otherwise normal people like Juliet or whatever, and that their sinister shtick is just a shtick

So this new temple group is just kind of annoying to me

Anupa: The Temple of Lies

Jef: Worse. Unnecessary Lies

Anupa: True.

Okay, so that scene with Jacob when he does the big reveal with Hurley–who do you think the someone bad is?

Is it Slocke or is it Claire?

Or is it someone else?

Jef: Yeah I’m guessing it’s Claire and Smokey

Anupa: And why did Jacob not give a poo if all those other people got fucked with?

Jef: Well all our peoples are out of there at the moment

All the candidates are safe. Oh, poor Miles

oh wait, sayiiiid

IF THAT IS HIS REAL NAME

Anupa: Yeah but Sayid is compromised.

LOL

Jef: Wicked. I’m looking forward to Infected vs. Infected

Anupa: Yeah they are really setting up for a war here eh?

Jef: Sayid is a beast but he doesn’t know about Claire. She’s got some new skillz.

I like girls with skillz.

Anupa: Axe-hacking skillz.

Leg-sewing skillz.

Ghost-talking skillz.

Crazy skillz.

Jef: Flannel skillz.

Anupa: I feel like we rambled this episode.

A lot happened, but a lot did not at the same time

Jef: It was a good episode

Anupa: It was contemplative.

Jef: but it wasn’t as satisfying as the last one

Anupa: Definitely not.

Jef: So whatchu saying bout it Noopa?

Anupa: Oh crap my punctuation keys are not working.

Jef: You have an interrobang key?

AWESOME

Anupa: É!

Jef: LOL

Anupa: That is what it looks like if I try

So that is what I give it.

Jef: That’s all I can ask.

We pressure children too much nowadays.

Anupa: Thanks for your understanding Papi.

Jef: I just want to be a part of your life.

"Really, you think I'd be a responsible mother? So nice. Here, take my credit card."

Knowing that the ingredients for a good LOST episode is a healthy mix of “!!” and “??” Jef and Anupa will be interrobanging the show’s final season every week. As LOST winds down to its conclusion, can its creators dish out all the needed explanations without resorting to exposition? Can they keep up the mystery without succumbing to just more mindfuckery? It’s only week two and already the confusion is settling in. SPOILERS after the jump:

Anupa: K

SO

I don’t know if it’s humanly possible but I am even more confused than after the season premiere

Jef: Yeah I mean this is just an initial reaction but this episode kind of sucked pretty hard

It was called “What Kate Does”

I assume the answer is “Sucks.”

Anupa: Truer words have never been spoken

WE GET IT

she RUNS and will DO ANYTHING TO GET WHAT SHE WANTS

The marshall cleared that up for us back in Season 1

Kate could be the most one dimensional character in history. Her arc is always the same: charming, tough, defiant, coward, CRY. REPEAT.

Jef: It irked the hell out of me when Sawyer bounced and she was like “I can bring him back.” The line is delivered like Kate’s a G but really the line just means “I hope Sawyer still likes me?”

Kate’s a little too confident in the power of her privates. But yo Sawyer hasn’t just moved on to another character (Juliet), Sawyer’s moved on to another level altogether. He’s been fleshed out and taken in new directions and you’re right, here’s Kate hitting that one note over and over like her piano’s broken and so BORING.

Anupa: For realsies. Kate has been trying mad hard to get with Sawyer since Juliet died last episode.

Yeah, I mean, both my roommate and I screamed in unison when Sawyer did his whole ring-toss thing. We love emo-Sawyer. I will buy any calendar that he is shirtless on.

Jef: Which is like every calendar he’s possibly in?

You’re good.

Anupa: Calendars for every possible place I can ever be in.

What do you think about Sawyer dipping?

Jef: That’s fair. This is what I’m saying about Sawyer’s development. He’s essentially the same dude but he’s grown. He isn’t bouncing just because, ‘Oh that Sawyer, such a lone wolf!” He’s bouncing because he hates these people. They left him for dead. Then came back and tried to save him and he didn’t need saving. Now they’re trapped in some stupid temple and Sawyer is right, the shit is stupid and boring. Sawyer is +1 for breaking out.

Anupa: Yeah but the thing that makes chain-like noises..SHHH!

I am a self-professed pussy though, so I would pull a Hurley and just cool out in the temple.

Jef: Which brings us to ugh, the temple

Anupa: This temple irritates me. The Temple of No Answers.

Jef: STILL not feeling Fu-Manchu and his John Lennon sidekick

Anupa: Why did he have to speak another language in the first place if he was just going to end up speaking English. UNNECESSARY.

Jef: Guy, I have a whole list of unnecessary shit that happened in this episode

This episode was mad fan fiction-ish

Anupa: HAHAHA

(Aside: my mom writes fan fiction for a Bollywood soap opera. It is mad embarrassing but I`ma embrace shit in 2010)

Shall we explore your unnecessary list?

Jef: Haha. To be clear, I don’t hate fan fiction. But I don’t want my canon to feel like the shit I can just write myself when I’m high.

Okay yeah, I’ll just give examples but just a few because they are boring

But look:

WHY does the temple lackey tell Kate “Better not slow us down?” She’s the reason you’re going after Sawyer in the first place. It’s a stupid fucking line

Anupa: Agreed.

Jef: WHY are there those guards blocking the door to Fu-Manchu’s bonsai garden office, but then Jack is just all “Step aside.” And then they just STEP ASIDE.

I have a WHOLE LIST of this shit.

Anupa: (That’s kind of like Kate completely ignoring the fact that she FLEW IN WITH SUN and that obviously Jin wanted to go with her so he could track Sun as well and then being all like ‘psh, whatever Jin’)

Jef: Oh and don’t forget my fucking favourite:

“Take my credit card.”

Anupa: AHAHAHAHHA

Jef: “TAKE MY CREDIT CARD”?

Anupa: That better get answered!!!!

Jef: There can’t be an answer for that!

Yeah, Kate can do something cool with the card I guess, and it can tie back to Claire

but there is NO REASON for this girl to give her a fucking credit card

Anupa: That is what must happen for me to justify that whole back and forth actually happening

Let us move on from shitty plot points to another shitty arc: this whole Sayid being possessed and needing to take a poison pill thing

I was kind of impressed that Jack popped that thing into his mouth; that would have been a most satisfactory way for the writers to off him since I hate him

Jef: I want the writers to realize that Jack doesn’t have to suck!

Anupa: Tweet them.

Jef: Because whoever wrote this episode wasted our time

Here is what they did to waste an hour:

1) Jack must give pill to Sayid because Sayid must take pill willingly

2) Jack is of course wary, struggles with dilemma

3) Jack takes the pill himself

4) Fu-Manchu reveals the pill is full of poison

5) My brain explodes because if the pill is just full of poison, why does Sayid have to take it willingly?

Anupa: I know. He made it sound like it was full of magic.

Jef: OK I just got it now: Whoever is in that body has to poison themselves willingly?

Anupa: Whatever!

Jef: I’m hating all of this.

Anupa: Me too. Imagine I gave up on Lost right now.

I won’t, but imagine?

Anyway, let’s move off of that stupid storyline on to more interesting things… LIKE CLAIRE.

So she stumbles out of the cab after Kate carjacks it and we discover she is indeed pregnant!

Jef: Pretty! I would buy a Claire calendar if she didn’t photograph so horribly. (Sorry Claire)

Anupa: (She also blubbers a lot and it makes me want to hit you for liking her)

Blubbering + Aussie accent = worst sound in the world

Jef: (I don’t have many options on this show. I refuse to crush on Kate.)

Oh but I love the Aussie accent. Look how off topic we are! My bad.

Anupa: UM HELLO? SUN!

Jef: Yes, but Sun looks like someone I know.

ANYWHOOS.

Anupa: Don’t you remember the episode she wore a bikini? Cus I do!

YAO!

Jef: RIP Ana Lucia and Naomi (She looked like <3)

Anupa: (ah yes, Naomi. I would.)

LOL

Okay so Claire meets Kate, they become friends, ETHAN SHOWS UP, Aaron gets name-dropped, turns out it’s a false alarm, Claire does Kate a solid

What the shitfuck is Ethan doing there?

Jef: Yeah, the Ethan thing was another example of how sloppy this episode was

Not only do they not convey ANY of the significance of him being there — I’m not creeped out, I’m not surprised, I’m NOTHING — but they have that useless scene where Kate is like ‘Where’s the doctor?’ And she rushes to find the doctor. And it’s all for absolutely no reason.

Anupa: I think I might have missed that last part because I was tweeting about how boring the episode was.

Jef: You might have missed it because it was useless.

Do we have anything cool to talk about?

Anupa: Yes

When Fu Manchu reveals the horrible sickness and says he knows about it BECAUSE IT HAPPENED TO YOUR SISTER

and then Jin gets trapped in a bear claw trap thingy and a dutty Claire shoots the others to ‘help’ him

Jef: Ayo, “Because it happened to your sister” is an AWESOME ending.

Too bad it wasn’t the ending?

When we see Claire it’s a double reveal. BORING.

Anupa: No way Jose.

Jef: Haha

Anupa: They just talked about her. Then we actually get to SEE her. Alive.

Jef: Acting all French and shit.

Anupa: Hannah (Editor: i.e. The Roomate) and I screamed like losers at the end like ‘Why is this happening to our lives?’

OMG they took her bhaby

Is that really all that happened?

Jef: I dunno, this is why all this new shit is kind of missing me

It’s season 3 redux. It’s the weirdass ‘Others’ again, they’re even literally another group of the Others, but the Others mystique is kinda gone, isn’t it?

Anupa: Yeah. Now I am just anticipating some time-sucking, vague-ass shit from them

We will lie to you and then get caught in our lies and then something!

Jef: Oh yeah, the lies and shit

Like the mind games with the pill is SO Juliet in the fish tank with the food

But that was back when the Others were actually mysterious, like 3 years ago

Anupa: On the Island apparently mysteriousness is not passe

Jef: Tell me more about Richard! I don’t care about Fu-Manchu.

Anupa: Even though he is your bredren?

Jef: I am blowing mysterious dust at you.

Anupa: But I am possessed by not-Jacob so you cannot harm me.

Lost is the worst show ever.

Jef: I give this episode an “!”.

Lots of shocks and reveals. No genuine mystery.

Anupa: Can I give it a middle finger?