"I HAZ WHAT IT TAKES!"

Knowing that the ingredients for a good LOST episode is a healthy mix of “!!” and “??” Jef and Anupa will be interrobanging the show’s final season every week. As LOST winds down to its conclusion, can its creators dish out all the needed explanations without resorting to exposition? Can they keep up the mystery without succumbing to just more mindfuckery? This episode was called “Lighthouse”, but easily could have also been called “Mirrors” or “Through the Looking Glass” or “Follow the Forearms” or “Claire’s Skillz.” SPOILERS after the jump:

Anupa: Okay

you start

(sorry i always say that i know)

Jef: Lol it’s ok. We need a trademark opening

It just backfires on you though because I always start with a question

Anupa: True

But I am easier that way, ask and I shall tell

Jef: Jack’s appendix scar? Are you feeling that theory now that this is NOT a parallel universe?

That it’s a flashforward?

Anupa: But then his mom would’ve lied to him, bc he clearly took his appendix out in season 4 (i think)

on ze island

Jef: not that she lied…how do i say…that yes time gets re-done and they get a second chance…but it’s still THEM. i.e. the island happened

Anupa: Okay I get it

So they experience the island, but they reset?

How does that explain a kid?

Jef: Hm yes you are right. Ok let’s flashback for a bit and recount what we’ve learned

1) Jack sucks in his stomach when looking in the mirror, even if it’s just him there

2) Jack has a kid

3) Jack is scarred up

Anupa: 4) Jack is his mother’s bitch boy

Jef: Of course he is!

Do you think the identity of the mom is important?

Anupa: Some people are saying it might be Shannon, I don’t know why. And therefore wouldn’t Jack and Boone have interacted on the plane? Or does it reset everything so much that Shannon and Boone don’t even become step-siblings?

Jef: Haha where do you keep going for these horrible theories?

Anupa: TV re-caps

lol

Jef: Or are they your theories, and you’re just “I have a friend of a friend who has this problem….”

Anupa: I am not smart enough to develop a theory

we both know this

But the mom is important. I think the kid kind of looks like Kate, but I don’t know if they are that precise in casting.

Jef: Yeah that was my first instinct, but they had some interaction on the plane so I think that’s nixed

Were you feeling that whole storyline? The father/son battle?

Anupa: I loved it.

Let me tell you something. I fucking hate Jack, but this episode reminded me of how much I would do Matthew Fox.

Jef: My gf is a fan.

Anupa: This is significant, because when he was being irritating Jack I didn’t even think about doing him.

But that whole redemptive, inattentive-father, mirrored-relationship storyline between Jack and David reignited my Matthew Fox passions.

Jef: LOL. I think this is how everyone who plays on my team feels about Shannon.

Anupa: This makes sense.

What did you think of it?

Jef: The second reality is more and more definitely about redemption and shit. Last week we saw a brand new happy Locke who comes to terms with his station in life. Here we get to see Jack kind of break the cycle of bad parenting that’s been fucking over ALL the characters since jump

Anupa: Ahh.. I see

Jef: It was all warm and gushy, but in a nice way

What did you think of Dogen showing up at the piano recital?

Because like of course the samurai dude is all up in the piano scene. Of course.

Anupa: We ruvvv Asians!

Um, I don’t think too deep into that to be honest. It felt more like a way to tie everything together.

Although he did seem a little like he knew what was going on.

But that could be because he is a wise Asian, because Asians are wise.

Jef: Yeah I try my hardest to always look like I know what’s going on

Anupa: Confucius.

Jef: Actually now that I think about it though, he did kinda break the stereotype when he was like “We pressure our kids too much.”

Haha Dogen’s 2nd reality redemption is not being a hard-assed Asian dad.

Anupa: LOL

He is breaking the stereotype!

Jef: Maybe I’ll make my dad watch Lost, and then after that scene act like it’s the big ending.

Back to the island:

Super season 1 journey going on

I kinda missed Hurley dragging himself through the jungle every week never knowing what’s going on

Anupa: Hurley is a great character

It is funny how he says what fans are thinking. I mean it is obviously intentional, but it is funny.

Jef: Yeah. He totally makes things OK like that.

YO when I saw that he wrote all those directions on his forearm

I thought of that Simpsons gag where the guy with the big hand is reading off his palm “I am tired of all these jokes about my giant hand. The first such incident occurred in 1967 when…”

Anupa: HAHAHAH

but he does have a big-ass arm

I couldnt believe he wrote all that stuff on it

Jef: Dude there was so much writing on it!

Anupa: It reminded me of the fact that he has not lost weight!

So frustrating!

He is on an island

Jef: lol this was Hurley’s purpose all along.

Jacob needed somebody on the island with one big forearm

Anupa: BWAHAH

I am sold on that theory.

Jef: Hurley can’t lose weight! It would fuck with the brand.

Do you think once the show is over he’s gonna pull a Seth Rogan and drop a couple sizes?

Anupa: It would be nice.

For his health, you know.

What did you make of that whole lighthouse thing?

Jef: I think it’s fun whenever we get new set pieces. I didn’t think the spyglass thing felt as fucking weird or magical or whatever as I would have liked it to

But I like that Jack smashed the fuck out of it

He’s been so wishy-washy and emo the past little while, I’m down with him just going off

Anupa: But it also represented the return of non-crush Jack.

Like, god, there he goes again.

Did you catch whose name was next to 108

Jef: NO! Did you?

I still have it PVR’d, I can go check the instant replay later

Anupa: I am not sure if they even showed it but yeah

Jef: I did catch that Kate’s name was there — but she wasn’t on the cave scrawl, right?

Anupa: I think she was there, she just wasn’t one of the numbers

So maybe they did not linger near her name for too long

Jef: So is Kate not a candidate you think? What you think her deal is?

Anupa: I think Kate is not a candidate.

I swear I remember them saying in a past season that she is not good

Good in the Others-sense

Jef: I kind of hope Claire murks her.

I like watching Claire murk people.

Anupa: Yo, you are brainwashed by the crazy.

Claire is certifiably kookoo

Did you see the skully-dead-thing in the cradle?

Jef: hahaha yes I loved it

Dude, I am starting to really feel bad for Jin

This fucking guy can’t catch a break

Anupa: That is because you are Asian

Sympathizer.

Jef: He’s constantly confused, hurt, being blown up, bear-trapped

yes, I am a Jin activist

Anupa: Wife-missing.

Jef: But like, he has no destiny storyline or anything

He’s just there, constantly getting fucked up!

Anupa: Child-not-knowing.

Jef: Not being able to communicate

Being ignored by Kate

I’m telling you!

FREE JIN.

Anupa: I think what Dogen proves is that Asians are a plot device on Lost.

I am going to make you that shirt for your birthday.

Jef: LOL awesome

Like, does Miles not have a storyline anymore??

Anupa: Again, plot device. He did his part. He talked to Juliet after she was buried.

Jef: FREE JIN AND MILES

Anupa: JILES

We did not finish talking about Claire

I miss normal Claire. Batshit Claire is scary. I think 50% of it is the bad wig.

25% is the accent.

Jef: I lurve batshit Claire!

She was may more annoying when she was all “My baby! My baby! Get away Charlie!” like EVERY WEEK

100% love for the accent

Anupa: CHAWLY

Jef: I like Aussie accents. Sometimes they sound like pirates!

Anupa: They sound like exactly like I would expect descendants of criminals to sound like.

Jef: Hey hey that’s racist!

( I am now doing meta-Ashcan jokes )

Anupa: So who did you think she was talking about when she first referenced her friend?

Jef: I thought it was Christian

Or Ghost-Christian

Anupa: Why do you think Jin waited so long to tell her about Kate?

Jef: Haha I think that was just Lost being annoying

they always do that shit

Anupa: It was mad annoying, then he back-tracked. Rightfully so, but it was frustrating.

Jef: So what’s Jin’s plan you think?

Sic Claire on all the Others?

Anupa: I am not sure. But I feel like he may not know exactly what he is doing

But that is so unlike Jin.

Jef: Yeah he looked like he was freestyling

Do you think they’re going overkill with the parallels?

Like Claire/Jin is Rosseau/Sayid, etc

They seem to be doing a whole lot of that shit

Anupa: Maybe, I don’t tend to read into that shit too much.

It is what it is for me.

Jef: I think that’s part of my problem though, is that there’s nothing to read into. They do it just because.

I take that back though, I have no problem with it.

I just don’t know what to do with it.

LOL that made no sense. I think I am infected.

Anupa: If there is anything that will kill you around here, it is infection.

Jef: Good line!

Anupa: Agreed.

Here is something: Jack seemed pretty nonchalant about the revelation that Claire is his sister

Jef: Which Jack?

Island Jack? Or New Jack City?

Anupa: Island-Jack.

LOLOL I LIKE THAT

Jef: Oh dude, he knew already

I can’t remember when, but he found out

Anupa: Goddamn, someone better clarify that in the comments for us.

Jef: That’s why he was all about Aaron for a bit in the Oceanic 6 story (“He’s my family too.”)

Anupa: Oh true. Okay, okay.

Jef: Can I just say though, when Jack was on the phone in his new city digs

what was up with that fakeass skyline?

Or was that real and I just spend too much time in the basement?

Anupa: They probably did not want to go all the way to LA to shoot that scene

Jef: It looked like Late Night with Jaaaack Shephard

Anupa: Here is something to chew on: remember when that Black Other, Blother…B…rother…said that they picked up Claire because she was in the jungle picking them off?

Jef: (i am laughing)

Anupa: It kind of reminds us that we do not know who is good and bad still… like, our Losties are motivated by fear and so they shoot to kill and the Others capture because these plane-folk are running around with guns.

Jef: Yup true. Which is kind of what pisses me off about the Dogen character

We already know that the Others are otherwise normal people like Juliet or whatever, and that their sinister shtick is just a shtick

So this new temple group is just kind of annoying to me

Anupa: The Temple of Lies

Jef: Worse. Unnecessary Lies

Anupa: True.

Okay, so that scene with Jacob when he does the big reveal with Hurley–who do you think the someone bad is?

Is it Slocke or is it Claire?

Or is it someone else?

Jef: Yeah I’m guessing it’s Claire and Smokey

Anupa: And why did Jacob not give a poo if all those other people got fucked with?

Jef: Well all our peoples are out of there at the moment

All the candidates are safe. Oh, poor Miles

oh wait, sayiiiid

IF THAT IS HIS REAL NAME

Anupa: Yeah but Sayid is compromised.

LOL

Jef: Wicked. I’m looking forward to Infected vs. Infected

Anupa: Yeah they are really setting up for a war here eh?

Jef: Sayid is a beast but he doesn’t know about Claire. She’s got some new skillz.

I like girls with skillz.

Anupa: Axe-hacking skillz.

Leg-sewing skillz.

Ghost-talking skillz.

Crazy skillz.

Jef: Flannel skillz.

Anupa: I feel like we rambled this episode.

A lot happened, but a lot did not at the same time

Jef: It was a good episode

Anupa: It was contemplative.

Jef: but it wasn’t as satisfying as the last one

Anupa: Definitely not.

Jef: So whatchu saying bout it Noopa?

Anupa: Oh crap my punctuation keys are not working.

Jef: You have an interrobang key?

AWESOME

Anupa: É!

Jef: LOL

Anupa: That is what it looks like if I try

So that is what I give it.

Jef: That’s all I can ask.

We pressure children too much nowadays.

Anupa: Thanks for your understanding Papi.

Jef: I just want to be a part of your life.