When we started this LOST Interrobang recap series, our central concern about this show we loved was: “can its creators dish out all the needed explanations without resorting to exposition? Can they keep up the mystery without succumbing to just more mindfuckery?”

We agreed that good LOST episodes were a perfect balance of both qualities: ! and ?. Lesser episodes tilted too much in one direction or the other. Maybe because of that central concern over balance, never once did I imagine a series finale that would fail at both. With “The End”, LOST most certainly does end on exposition, and yet also leaves mysteries hanging, and also reveals that its final season was indeed a mindfuck, which would be OK if it were a good one, which it wasn’t. Yesterday you got our first reactions to the episode; today we delve a little deeper into points of contention.

Oh, and thanks for sticking with us! Keep reading The Ashcan as Jef and Anupa interrobang the upcoming season of So You Think Can Dance? (Just kidding) (Or maybe I’m not).

Jef: Ok word let’s pan out
One main character we didn’t talk about last time was Locke.
Locke and Jack had this opposition set up really early. It was destiny vs. free will, science vs. faith, whatever words you use to slice it
Did that gel for you in the end?

Anupa: Was it Jack’s destiny to make that choice? To take care of the island?
Does that even make sense?

Jef: That’s a good way of putting it.

Anupa: They were both destined to make the choices they made
Jack to take care of the island, Locke to visit Jack and ask him to fix him
I don’t refer to Smokey as Locke because it’s not Locke

Jef: That whole thread got muddled for me with the sideways whatever-its-called in a way. Jack seemed to end up with a destiny. Locke still just kinda died and waited for everyone in the afterlife.
One thing that gets me about the finale is that the science/faith thing just gets pushed aside. Which is fine I GUESS because I wanted it to end with the personal stories. But it’s weird that science reps like Faraday and Charlotte get left behind at the church. And the end message doesn’t seem to be about making your own choices or owning your destiny or having faith, it seems to be, just. You know. Friends rule.

Anupa: I feel you on that Locke tip… why was there this whole conflict, and so much emphasis put upon his unwavering faith in the island if that didn’t turn out to mean shit?
I mean, they brought it up too in this episode… when Jack and Smokey were lowering Dez into the light hole… they had that whole exchange where Jack said “you’re not John Locke” blah blah blah
Once again, they hinted at it but didn’t really resolve it or elaborate any further

Jef: Yeah Jack has said a couple of times that John Locke was right.
But…he was only really right about the island having some magic about it.
Locke didn’t have a purpose there. Well I mean on the larger scale his purpose was to die and have the Smoke take his face and yadda yadda which ends with Hurley fixing everything with bear hugs. But if I were Locke in the afterlife, I don’t think I’d be smiling about that LOL
I’d be like “What? I’m DEAD. Fuuuuuuck.”

Anupa: I don’t really see why Locke had to die for Smokey to take his body? Why couldn’t he just have inhabited Christian’s body the whole time?

Jef: Oh yeah, no doubt. The case for destiny is weak, even though the central story, Jack’s, ends on that note.
This gets me back to my point about wanting the last island mission to be a big team effort
If Locke tells us that everybody needs to go back to the island together, they should have recalled that in the finale. Everyone should have played their part.

Anupa: Well there were too many missions in the first place… which made for confusion

Jef: Yeah and the missions were dumb.

Anupa: LOL

Jef: “We’re going to blow up the plane.”
Like, why am I watching this when I knowww that notion is like three weeks old.
You have a guy who can hear the dead’s last thoughts, and a guy who has centuries worth of knowledge about the island, and another guy who can straight up talk to ghosts…and their end mission is still trying to blow up a plane?
You know what I CAN get down with?
The implied idea that Bernard and Rose are the neo-others in a Hurley world.
That’s just peachy.

Anupa: Whatchoo talkin’ bout?

Jef: Haha, just thinking about how the cycles have changed and how things are actually different.
So instead of a fucked up white dude with saviour complex and daddy issues, we have an aw-shucks Messican dude who loves everybody. And instead of the Others who kill and terrorize either in the name of the island or to control the island, we have Bernard and Rose there who are just sweet and want to live their lives.
It’s a different geography there now, so to speak.

Anupa: Right, there’s been a change in rule of law
It’s like Smurfland now

Jef: Haha yeah. They did that in a nice way without bashing our heads about it.
Was there anything you liked about it all?

Anupa: Thematically? Not really.
I liked scenes: I liked the fight scene between Jack and Smokey, the Rose/Bernard/Vincent scene, the Sawyer/Juliet reuniting scene got me choked up a bit
I mean, I was definitely invested in the characters, but more so into getting to the bottom of SO MUCH MYSTERY.

Jef: Yo I loved that flying-fist commercial break moment!
It was horrible and awesome at the same time.

Anupa: That was like one of the most interesting shots they’ve ever had on this show, I’d venture
Let’s go to a thought I texted you about last night when I re-watched some of the episode: The lingo
There were probably more examples of it than I cared to note, but the hospital scene when Jack is about to operate on Locke and they talk before going into the OR
Locke says, “See you on the other side” and then asks Jack if he thinks he can fix him. Jack’s response is something along the lines of “if I can fix you, I’ll be at peace”
I’m sure there were more examples

Jef: Watching it again, does that kind of stuff make you feel better about the reveal? Or does it annoy you?

Anupa: It puts the annoying reveal in context
And so, in hindsight, makes it less annoying
And it makes me wonder if, in a while, I were to watch the show again with the ending in mind I’d feel differently because my mind would be looking for different things
I mean, obviously so, and I feel like I’d have to practically skip a couple of seasons because whatever happens in them is left out but ya know?

Jef: I feel you. What you were saying yesterday about Juliet’s last words felt supported to me. So I think if I were to go back a lot more about the sideways world would feel better for me. Some of it already does. But I still think there’s too much crucial stuff that was designed just fool us and nothing else. And the endgame doesn’t play for me.
I still don’t know how I feel about Desmond’s role, etc.
Speaking of Dez, an aside about Ben:
Dez woke him up by beating the crap out of him, and it appeared like he did that solely because he wanted to punch the shit out of his face — understandably — but not because he was a part of Dez’s plan or anything.
I just thought that was interesting.

Anupa: That Ben’s “wake-up” didn’t involve a poignant moment per se, but just getting the shit beat out of him?

Jef: Haha, well yeah. And also interesting that Dez, who otherwise was Mr. Creepy Calm in the afterlife, had this obvious rage moment.

Anupa: Why do you think that was?
I’m mostly talking about why that was Ben’s moment, but also why do you think Dez gave in to that rage for Ben? He’s the obvious choice, but at the same time, he’s not… why waste that effort on him?

Jef: In a way I’m glad Dez did that — it would be off for me if Ben didn’t fully forgive himself but everyone else did. That someone else still wanted to get his shots in makes sense to me, but it doesn’t mesh with the “letting go” afterlife business.
And I guess yeah, Ben was eventually supposed to wake up in his own way after dealing with his baggage, but Dez took the opportunity to do it for him. Because of the high enjoyability factor of smashing his face.
Haha I dunno. I don’t hate it. It was just kinda off.

Anupa: Well, because yeah, Alex couldn’t set it off in him?
Like it negates the point of Alex being there, aside from the awww-factor
Was Alex in heaven?
And/or Rousseau?

Jef: Yeah who knows? Who are “real people” and who are just situations set up for the characters?

Anupa: See, that’s why it’s frustrating
Also, now, what the eff was the point of Dogen?

Jef: That’s what I think we’re supposed to assume about Aaron-as-baby. That it’s not actually Aaron per se, but yeah, it reads stupid when you see the baby there in the church.
Haha you mean on the island or in the halfway-Heaven?

Anupa: on the island
I’m sure if we go back to his sideways appearance, his cameo will be loaded with super-heavenly language
I feel like there’s something we’re missing

Jef: Yeah I’m still on that Dogen-was-stupid tip. I don’t see why him being alive kept Smokey away and I don’t want to think about the Sayid resurrection ever again LOL
Oh here’s a Dogen-related thought:
When Jack unplugged the island the magic was undone for a bit. Smokes and Rich-boy became mortal, Smokes could hurt the guardian, etc.
So did Jack kill Dogen’s resurrected kid?
Not that it matters. But, you know.

Anupa: I can’t answer that, but can we ask what was going on… why did he have to plug it back in?
I’m not even sure I understand exactly why they had to unplug, plug in the first place
Unplugging would make Smokes mortal?

Jef: Yeah, unplugging made Smokes mortal. That was their loophole

Anupa: okay so that was the plan?

Jef: That’s the thing: IT WASN’T A PLAN!

Anupa: LOL

Jef: Jack was all like uhhhhhh let’s try this!
It was painful for me because you have all these people on the island who could have made that way much more plus cooler
What if Rich knew something about how the cave worked? What if Miles heard the thoughts of the skeletons in the cave and because of that learned that whoever plugged it back in would die? And that’s what made Jack made the decision to kick Dez out and do it himself?
Because as it stands right now, Jack should have just let Dez do it.

Anupa: LOL trust me, he who can withstand pain
Guess what? That scene with the plugging-unplugging was like that part in Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince where Harry and Dumbledore have to cross the lake in a boat to get the locket in the middle because if they tried to swim they’d be fucked….But, a much smaller distance.

Jef: Haha yomg I was thinking about Harry Potter too, but the one where Hermione pulls this wicked time-travel plot out of her back pocket
What was that, Azkabahn?

Anupa: YEAH! The Time-Turner
I loved that shit. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban was one of my faves.
Not AzkaBAHN, it’s not German
Or maybe it is

Jef: Yeah. The finale should have felt like THAT. Like all these pieces falling into place, and this wicked last-minute plan, and all of that.

Anupa: Yeah, it’s so true. JK Rowling should’ve written the LOST finale.
That’s the only time you’ll see me arguing for JK Rowling’s writing, because I love her ideas, but I’m not sold on her as the greatest of writers

Jef: If LOST were Harry Potter, Hermione would have just sat on the plane with her magic and waited for Harry to sacrifice himself. Like, what?

Anupa: If LOST were Harry Potter, Hermione woulda gotten them off the island in like season two
She woulda Expecto Patronum’d the Smoke Monster and made Polyjuice Potion to infiltrate the Others
DUH

Jef: LOL What Lost Can Learn From Harry Potter
Honestly.

Anupa: So, it’s the end of a buncha weeks of LOST blogging… what have YOU learned?

Jef: I’ve learned to live together or die alone, or die alone and live together forever, or SOMETHING, I don’t know. I learned that we have a destiny but sometimes that destiny is just dying. I learned that love conquers all but so does face-punching.
You?

Anupa: I’ve learned to never trust Damien Lindeloff and/or Carlton Cuse, ever again.
And also, everything is a religious metaphor

Jef: I’ve learned that JJ Abrams always gets out when the getting is good.
We also learned that black men don’t go to heaven, but neither do physicists. We learned that the most important time of Aaron’s life was when he was one day old, and that’s just sad.
In the end, do you hate Lost? Or just the finale?

Anupa: I hate the finale, which extends to the fact that I hate how much time I invested in this damn shit fuck!

Jef: Hahaha I feel you.
The girlfriend is watching from Season One right now and I saw some of it and remembered that the show really was great.
It had some of the best moments I’ve ever had with television, and maybe even movies.
I’ll see how I feel about it all after the hurt wears off LOL

Anupa: Well yes, and I think that’s why it hurts so bad.
It’s like being in a bad relationship
Just when you think it’s actually going somewhere, it fucks up
I don’t know if I can trust a TV show ever again!

Jef: Haha, I’ve been effed over so many times and I still go back.
I’m a TV masochist.
One last thing I wanted to say about the church scene—I know I make jokes, but I’m actually okay with who they chose to be there and not be there
Those were all the people who made real connections on the island. Eko didn’t, neither did Ana Lucia or Lapidus, and yeah, Michael went out on a really bad note.
Rich I’m assuming lived a whole ‘nother life and he didn’t really make friends so to speak.

Anupa: And that’s why Ben wasn’t inside

Jef: Exactly. And even Walt had his whole life ahead of him, I’m sure he has his own group of people waiting on him.

Anupa: Alrighty, I see what you’re saying
Though Aaron is then the one exception

Jef: The only one that bothers me is baby Aaron. That makes no sense. At least have him there as an adult and then have a moment that shows us Kate and Claire raised him right or some shit.

Anupa: WHICH WOULDA RESOLVED THE “YOU NEED TO RAISE YOUR BABY” ISH

Jef: EXACTLY.
And like fuck, Christian doesn’t even say what’s up to Claire and her kid before he bounces.
THE CYCLE CONTINUES.

Anupa: Wait, what about Penny though?
She didn’t forge a connection with any of the others, Dez yes, but that’s it.
Was it like, “oh shit hon, gotta make a pit stop at this chuuch before we cross over?”

Jef: Yeah, Dez.
You can tell who was mainly just a love interest subplot LOL
(LIBBY)

Anupa: (Charlotte)
Who looked SMOKING btw

Jef: Haha you so have a Charlotte thing.

Anupa: No it’s a ginger thing, for reals.

Jef: I’m kinda salty they gave me an Ana Lucia cameo but she was fully suited with the shades on. I mean, come on. Give me SOMETHING. Not even a good stare-down shot.
I would have loved if after Hurley said “Ana Lucia’s not coming?” The answer was “naww, nobody likes her.”
Any last words?

Anupa: No, just a slow-mo montage of me watching the episodes over the years set to epic strings

Jef: Perfect. Can I join? I caught some fish.

Anupa: u went offline
i’m assuming that means we’re done

Jef: Haha I’m here

Jef: hello?

Anupa: yes? I can see what you’re writing

Jef: Oh. wtf gmail
ruining our last interrobang

Locke's getting straight Rumplestiltskin on us

Knowing that the ingredients for a good LOST episode is a healthy mix of “!!” and “??” Jef and Anupa will be interrobanging the show’s final season every week. As LOST winds down to its conclusion, can its creators dish out all the needed explanations without resorting to exposition? Can they keep up the mystery without succumbing to just more mindfuckery?

Two weeks ago, we felt like the pawns were being put into place for the finale and we got an awesome reunion between Jin and Sun. In this week’s “The Candidate” I’m not really sure what happened because I’m numb from the pain. Join me in numbsville, below the jump (where spoilers also lie):

Anupa: I feel we should start on a central point, instead of just linearly

Jef: Like, start on DEATH?
DEATH DEATH DEATH

Anupa: scream it like a metal singer
deaaaaaaaaaoooooooooooth
okay, whose death made you the saddest?

Jef: Jin and Sun no doubt, as a couple
The reunion last episode was so lightweight too

Anupa: everything is lightweight!!!
this show is losing its emotional immediacy
i’m not connecting in a way that makes me feel invested

Jef: Word? I was going to say their deaths were done real well

Anupa: you don’t mean that, really?

Jef: I do.

Anupa: okay well, what about the deaths did you like?

Jef: I feel you on the point of saying that Jin and Sun have been pushed to background characters — and Sun specifically has been downgraded (as all the women have like I was on about before)
But that aside, they died real good.

Anupa: I just feel like it lost so much because Sayid also died and vice versa wrt his death, and Lapidus too to a lesser extent

Jef: Aha Lapidus
He’ll be back.
Someone has to fly the plane!
We’re on opposite sides, I liked Sayid’s death too

Anupa: They’re not leaving the island

Jef: Haha no you’re right, he’s dead.

Anupa: GOD, how could you like them killing the only people of colour in one sweep of a wave?!

Jef: Well now hold up

Anupa: why can’t they kill kate?
No one likes her!

Jef: HAHA

Anupa: people like Sayid, even if he was a zombie

Jef: I’m of two minds on this:
OF COURSE I’m upset they offed all the minorities. You know how I am.
Especially that they did it all same episode, which was just kind of tacky
But at the same time, these characters have to die;
We started off with two central stories: Jack vs. Locke as leaders, and the love triangle between Jack/Sawyer/Kate
So I mean, this was gonna happen in one way or another
Sayid started as the lone wolf and he went out that way, it was heroic. I liked it.

Anupa: You would, comic book guy!

Jef: Are you calling me fat?
OMG I’m fat.

Anupa: Hey, nice ponytail and large balding spot with hair on the sides.

Jef: LOL
Feel me though: Sayid’s death flipped so much

Anupa: You know what I think it was? I think it was the flipfloppyness of the episode. I think if I were them I’d be a neurotic mess by now. “WE CAN NEVER DO ANYTHING RIGHT”
First we have to go the other island, but oh now they’ve captured us, and then we have to go to the plane anyway but BOOP there’s a bomb on it, and now let’s go to the sub, oh wait this is where the real bomb is at.
I’d volunteer to run with the bomb too
Sayid’s death wasn’t heroic, he just couldn’t take it anymore!

Jef: Lol
I mean I feel you on the comedic level
But really, here’s the guy who was constantly struggling with killing people. He started off on the flight with a white dude side-eying him on some brown stereotype shit. He went out by flipping both this things

Anupa: LOL is it really supposed to be that literal?

Jef: He had a bomb hugged to chest and he was saving people. Not only that — he overcame the zombiness.

Anupa: He’s a suicide bomber, but he’s on our side!

Jef: Naw I’m not saying that’s the literal intent dude
I’m saying it’s nice.
Come on now, half the stuff we say we like about this show has nothing to do with literal intent

Anupa: No, I get what you’re saying
I’m just being a pissant (BAHAHA!)
I mean that was definitely the creator’s intent
And I’m glad Jin and Sun got to go out together. It fits them.

Jef: Tell what you hated about Jin and Sun’s deaths though

Anupa: I mean, i just feel like the episode was shoddy all around, so killing them all like that felt heavy-handed and rushed.
It didn’t do our investment into these characters justice

Jef: Maybe we’re differing because I don’t really see them as dead — I still believe the end game is that the worlds get merged

Anupa: But I don’t feel invested in the other world characters as much
They’re not the same people we’ve come to know. They feel different.
Am I getting space age right now? Did I blow your mind yet?

Jef: haha I thought it was me who was being too space age
Because if their memories and shit bleed over, I don’t really see the difference
They’ll still have had the island experience
Did you dislike the episode overall?
Or just the end part?

Anupa: Totally overall
Like I said, it felt unnecessary

Jef: I thought you would dig the parallel Jack/Locke story

Anupa: It just felt rushed

Jef: Four episodes left!
Haha I did like at the beginning when Widmore said “We haven’t got an hour!!”
If Hurley speaks for the audience, I feel like Widmore often speaks for the writers
…or the writers’ bosses

Anupa: This show has been poorly planned and I would like to file a formal complaint
So wait, Hurley somehow swims his way up with Kate. How sad was it to see him cry?

Jef: Very sad! Was that the first time?
Did he even cry for Libby? Or just get touchy?

Anupa: No, he just gets morose for Libby
He flat out shed tears this time

Jef: Yeah he was ugly sobbing.
I even like Jack’s crying. I didn’t think I was going to.

Anupa: Jack has sexy crying. Those are sexy tears.
If tears could be sexy, they’d sprout from the tearducts of hot men

Jef: I felt his frustration, and I dug that he couldn’t do it in front of everyone else.

Anupa: What’d you make of the Desmond thing?

Jef: Word, so Sayid definitely didn’t kill him.

Anupa: Why do you think Sayid didn’t kill him, but left him in the well to die anyway?

Jef: Desmond was on that “you always have a choice” stuff.
Sayid made his choices, I like. And now that I think about it, it also recalls how Dez did the same for Charlie. They both had to die in the end, but they went out heroes, and of their own decisions, right?

Anupa: Yes, this is true. You are deep
Is that the wine talking?

Jef: Probably.

Anupa: LOL

Jef: Otherwise I’d just be all “Claire!”
OH speaking of Lost crushes
Sun was totally doing it for me this week I have no idea why, and then she fucking died.

Anupa: Maybe she was giving off bitchy vibes, and that made you attracted to her bitchy Koreanness [NOTE: Bitchy Korean women make Jef swoon]

Jef: Maybe. Her “GO!” would totally have made me stay too.
Like meow. NOW I’m staying put.
I said meow.
Yo your boy Bernard was in this episode.
Did you care?

Anupa: It was nice
It would’ve been nice to see Rose. They come as one swirly geriatric pair

Jef: Haha swirly
Dude Bernard felt creepy here
It was funny when he was like “you were flirting with my wife Rose” to Jack
What else did you dislike?

Anupa: Seeing Locke’s dad. That was sad.

Jef: Oh man yeah
That dude’s face was on pause.

Anupa: AHAHAHAH

Jef: Like with Ben’s dad though, it seems like the way these dudes aren’t bad fathers in this world is they’ve become physically disabled
Or you know, dead.

Anupa: You’re onto something, but Christian’s storyline is the same.

Jef: Yeah — the way Jack becomes diff seems to be that he became a father himself
Not that his father did anything differently.
I think I’m just bullshitting here though.
Did you like Terry O’Quinn’s guilt speech?

Anupa: That whole thing was sad, the one genuine emotional point in this show
That shit was crazy, how he basically wanted to torture himself because he was like ‘wtf did i do’?
On a side note, i have to add that every time Helen comes into a scene, I pretty much always have to say “PEG!”

Jef: She is 100 per cent Peggy Bundy to me. Never anything else. I want Locke to rub her tush with a catcher’s mitt.
And yeah man, on island-time Locke is all The World Fucked Me Over and in la-la land he’s all Fuck Me Over, World
If that makes any sense.

Anupa: Did you like how nosy real-time Jack was being? Going to the old age home, etc?

Jef: Yeah I think it shows the other side of Jack, the non-wishy washy side
On the island he’s been the reluctant hero all the time
Here he’s taking charge of the situation from jump
He isn’t worrying whether or not he can save people
he’s just all YO I CAN SAVE YOU

Anupa: I pictured him in a rippling cape
Like, I actually just did

Jef: Arms on hips, sucking in his gut
Ayo what the shit is taking Rich and his team SO LONG?
Everyone crossed the island like 25 times already and they’re still on their way

Anupa: HAAHHa he has no gut you hater
Hay-hay-hay-hayyyter

Jef: Yo guy, episode 1 of this season — he sucking!

Anupa: LOL wait, Richard is supposed to come there?
I think I’ve stopped paying attention to this show. I’m officially just watching to get it over with.

Jef: Yeah, Rich’s plan was to blow up the plane right? Oh wait, maybe it was him who put the bomb there, not Widmore?
LOL dude.

Anupa: NO but then Ilana blew up and then did that change plans? I’m confused

Jef: You had one week off and your whole face changed on this!

Anupa: I know
They lost me
GET IT?
LOST????????

Jef: You’ve been reading recaps haven’t you.
But nevermind, fuck other recaps!
It’s just strange to me — I wouldn’t tell someone to not be mad at this show. But to get mad at it over this particular episode? You gotta break it down further for me.

Anupa: What more can I sayyyyyy?

Jef: So it was mostly the deaths?

Anupa: I made two lame pseudo-Jay-Z references within a couple of minutes. I rule.
It wasn’t the deaths

Jef: Gotta learn to live with regrets.

Anupa: Touche.
It was the zigging and the zagging and the plans changing and the cages then the plane then the sub

Jef: But yo didn’t we want the pace to quicken?

Anupa: Not nonsensically
I just feel like they could have cut out some of that

Jef: One thing I’ll say about the cages is: KATE YOU CAN GET OUT THROUGH THE TOP

Anupa: Like too much is happening in such a small span of time. I liked when she was reaching for the keys. Why is it when anyone tries to do soemthing like that, their tongue automatically sticks out a bit?

Jef: Ya people always Mike Jordan it.
Haha I wonder if I do when I type fast.
That was the wrong joke.
Lol just cut that out.
So I think this was our biggest disagreement so far! Anything else you wanna touch on?

Anupa: Not really
We didn’t focus on details this episode
But I think it was a devisive one
It’s my first INTERRO, minus the BANG

Jef: I can feel that
Three details I’ll get out the way quick: 1) “There is no Sayid” is both a great line and a horrible line
2) Lapidus’ hair is mad inconsistent
and 3) Locke TOTALLY grabbed Claire’s boob on the pier
And ya, I give it similar but opposite, BANG with no INTERRO — which I don’t think is that much of a bad thing.

Anupa: I don’t wanna hear about pervy Locke, that’s gross

Jef: LOL
Shall we stop here like Anthony Cooper’s face?

Anupa: pyyywp
that’s the sound his face makes when it’s stopping
sorry

Jef: lol
it was a good choice of consonants
vivid

AYO JIN!

Knowing that the ingredients for a good LOST episode is a healthy mix of “!!” and “??” Jef and Anupa will be interrobanging the show’s final season every week. As LOST winds down to its conclusion, can its creators dish out all the needed explanations without resorting to exposition? Can they keep up the mystery without succumbing to just more mindfuckery?

This week with “The Last Recruit”, the show goes about moving everybody into their places for the big finale. On the island, some players switch teams and one jumps off a boat, while over in Sideways City a familiar flirtation happens, someone gets tripped by a wire (zoinks!) and mad people have to see a doctor. Most amazing though is that Kate doesn’t stupidly chase after anyone! She does, however, find something new to be stupid about. Stupid Kate. Watch out for SPOILERS, you bastards:

Anupa: SO

What is it? Like four episodes left?

Jef: Yesss

Final is two hours, but yes.

How are you holding up?

Last week you were wary.

Anupa: There is mad build up happening, guy.

They must be planning on giving a lot of information at once.

Or none at all…

Jef: Aha imagine?

I am feeling the buildup. Honestly, I think the finale is going to be structured movie style — all the main conflicts and themes are gonna be wrapped up all at once there.

Anupa: Well, yeah, that is what I’m thinking.

Jef: I’m actually surprised we got the Korean-reuinion today.

Anupa: To me that says that something else is going to happen…

Jef: Yes, something BIGGER is planned for those two.

Which is awesome.

Anupa: We should start some kind of pool…get some BETTING ACTION on the happs, brah.

Jef: Lol we can call it “Everyone Loses!”

Place your bets folks.

Anupa: I will secretly embezzle all of the funds generated.

It’s interesting…you know how they’ve set this show up with our original characters positioned as pawns

At the rate this is going/the way it’s all playing out, we are TOTALLY pawns.

I mean, I know this is obvious, but it’s so fantastic how with this final season we still don’t know so much.

We still have NO idea whether or not to trust Smocke.

Jef: Which is perfect though right, because neither do the characters.

Even Claire it turns out was never 100 per cent loyal. Or maybe she will turncoat later, who knows.

But yeah, not knowing where Smokes and Jacob stand and where the characters stand with them is perfect because it’s the same stuff we started with — we never knew if Jack or Locke were the more correct leaders.

Anupa: What are your thoughts on Jack literally jumping ship?

I mean, I just don’t get why he’d get on in the first place.

Jef: He’s, y’know, stewing over his options. Can’t decide whether to fall back, because all of his leadership decisions have been so fail, or to follow his gut because he caught the faith bug.

I like that he jumped, and it recalled when Sawyer also once jumped to stay on the island.

Anupa: Right, they’ve both made that journey.

It’s interesting though that you bring up those series of episodes involving the freighter.

Remember how Christian appeared on the freighter with Michael?

Since we now (apparently) know that Smocke once took Christian-form, how did he travel over water?

I.E. couldn’t Smocke just fucking show up wherever he wants to?

Like on their boat now

Or on the other Island?

Jef: Lol yeah. Well we know that Smokes really needs everyone to leave together. So he needs a boat to ferry everyone else regardless — turning to smoke to transport himself would be pointless and probably just freak the shit out of everyone.

Then again, the Smoke monster can grab people. So he could carry em.

My head hurts.

Anupa: Yeah! Why doesn’t he just carry them to where he wants them to go? LOL

Jef: Lol damn him. What did you think about the opening convo with Jack and Smoke?

When they talked about Locke?

Anupa: Smocke almost sounded bitter…

I don’t know if that’s reading too much into it

And me trying to link him to my “he’s just Locke pretending” theory.

Jef: “He was a sucker” was so harsh. Awesome harsh.

And you’re right, there was a hint of self-loathing in there.

Anupa: Yeah dude, they spent so many seasons buttering Locke up as this Man O’ Faith.

But both sides suit Locke really well in a way.

I mean, remember in S1 how they were almost playing into this “is Locke evil?” thing?

He’s really been split this whole time.

Jef: Yeah Lost plays faith in an interesting way. They make faith look crazy at points but also often also as correct.

And yeah to extend what you’re saying about the character being split — on the island Locke’s faith is what made him seem strong. Made him walk. But also made him die. In sideways world his weakness saved his life. The wheelchair took the brunt of Desmond’s car.

Anupa: It’s interesting, last week we had these theories about if Dez was trying to kill Locke in Sideways Land because of the whole well thing.

Although it did seem fairly obvious that they wanted him and Jack to cross paths.

…but there was room for speculation

How do you feel about that now? Do you still think he was trying to kill him?

Jef: I still think there’s still room for speculation, but yeah I won’t be surprised if that line of thought is never picked up on again.

But yo, the reason we were saying that is because Smokes threw Dez down this long-ass pit — was it me or was it like WTF that well is SO SHALLOW this week.

Anupa: Dude, I definitely would’ve died if I fell down that well.

I’m not good at landing.

Jef: LOL

You land, then trip and die.

Dude he was just chilling there, not even a twisted up ankle or anything. “Hey Sayid. What’s up. Just chillin.”

Anupa: Brotha

Do you think Sayid did it?

Dead or no?

Jef: No, I don’t think Sayid did it. The past few episodes have all been on some power ballad-level Power of Love type shit, and I think what they gave us here was hope that love could also save Sayid and Claire in the end.

Sayid said before he doesn’t FEEL anything. But apparently he still feels enough to love Nadia.

And Kate turned Claire around by playing the Aaron card.

Maybe I’m just being hopeful?

Anupa: In the end, it would be a shitty way for Dez to go.

Although he is turning into General Pervert off island… is it just me or he’s creepy and gross?

Jef: Yeah and if Sayid did it, I think they would have preferred to show it to us. They like showing people get shot.

Anupa: It’s funny you mention Nadia…cus they didn’t actually say Nadia… and why would they purposefully avoid her name?

Methinks we’ll be seeing Shannon soon.

Jef: OH SNAP

Good one.

Anupa: Semantics.

It also makes me wonder about that Tina Fey/Smocke showdown.

First of all, he didn’t decimate her.

Second of all, they kept referring to the “thing” that was taken.

Why do they make these conscious efforts to avoid names?

Jef: “The Package”

Anupa: Like if it were me I’d be like “Yo, guy! Where Dez at?!”

Jef: Lol if I was on team Widmore I’d just be calling him “that dude passed out in the sub. Go get him.”

Anupa: “my repugnant son in law”

Jef: Okay yeah so while we’re talking about Dez being creepy and giving everyone sex eyes –

Reality two just got bumped up a couple of notches, yeah?

I was just as involved this week with what was happening there as I was with the island story.

Anupa: Right, because now it’s not just one boring storyline.

LAWL

How great/heartbreaking/amazing was that scene with Ben and Locke in the ambulance?

The best actors/characters playing these completely different roles…

UGH

SO GOOD.

Jef: Haha I thought it was kind of funny.

Anupa: You would.

*EYE ROLLLLLS *

Jef: “My name is John.”

That scene was so bromantic.

I was AMAZED by how many characters had dope scenes in one episode, both on and off the island.

Anupa: You were a fan of the Kate/Sawyer police station flirty flirty?

Jef: Hell yeah loved it.

And yeah last week I was griping that the female characters weren’t doing shit, so it was good to see some Kate and Claire scenes.

I HATE Kate’s stupid ballcap though.

Take that shit off Kate!

Anupa: Yeah, it reminds me of girls who wear full makeup in the gym and workout with their long-ass hair down.

These are girl things that bother other girls

FYI

Jef: Haha what?

Anupa: See

Jef: *Goes off to guy talk with Sawyer and Jack*

Anupa: LOL

Good vun!

How about that cool scene with both Sun and Locke being carted into the hospital?

“It’s him, it’s him!” … that was her tapping into her Island memory right?

Jef: YES

Yeah like, physical injuries seem to jar people into realizing the other universe exists, and I guess it goes both ways.

I think Sun hitting her head and forgetting English was just the otherverse bleeding through.

So shit, Jack’s maybe also been enlightened? With the bomb at the end?

Anupa: That’s fucking banane

OMG

CORRECT

Jef: And that’s why the POV shot that mirrors the first episode?

Anupa: Right

Jef: He’s just as confused for a second. Like, where am I?

Shiiiit.

Anupa: We’re also setting up for a major Jack/Locke showdown.

Jef: Yo, speaking of final showdowns: almost everyone is in the hospital now right?

Anupa: Not Kate, not Sawyer, Sayid or Miles…

Or Claire… although I’m betting she’ll go into labour or some shit.

Also, Hurley.

Jef: Yeah for sure she’ll be having the baby there

Oh fuck yeah Hurley!

Anupa: We didn’t see Hurley IRL this episode!

Jef: He’s off sexing Libby

So glad they didn’t show it.

And Miles:

Where is he on the island? And why doesn’t Sawyer want to save him?

What an ass!

Anupa: He’s with Guyliner!!

He didn’t come with them to camp Smokey.

Jef: I have a bad feeling about Richard’s team.

I think they all die…

Maybe in a self-sacrificy kind of way.

They’re all kind of insignificant in the off-island world, right?

nupa: Don’t say that! I’m semi-crushing on Miles right now.

He’s my LOST CRUSH OF THE WEEK.

Jef: Aha mine is…get ready…Claire.

Anupa: My name is Claiihre, I’m having a bahhhby, we have the same fahhhter.

Jef: LOL

My thing for Claire has been refined:

I now specifically dig on her when she’s jungle Claire, and when she’s giving her stank face.

Anupa: Complex needs to make a Claire soundboard.

Jef: No I would waste so much time there!

Anupa: I don’t even want to think about what you would do there.

Jef: And I waste enough time on Complex already. Gotdamn click-throughs.

Anupa: EW

HAHAH I HATE THEIR CLICK THRUS.

But yo, the best Claire face was when they ran off without her and she felt all left out and shit.

She was the definition of GLOWERING.

Jef: YES. Awesome Claire face.

She was like “Oh hellllll no.”

Anupa: Whatever, Jack knew she would follow.

He was there when she followed him and Smocke in the beginning.

Jef: LOL did he though? I was laughing because Sawyer was like “you figure it out!” to Jack about coming up with a Locke-ditching plan. But then…Jack had no plan at all!

Anupa: LOL

Jef: He was just like, “Oh hey Locke’s gone! Sweet let’s go guys.”

Anupa: This episode was stupid for that.

The dude is made of face-eating smoke…and a) he doesn’t know what they’re up to and/or b) their plan is just to…run?

FAIL

Jef: Thank GOD Kate didn’t run after him.

This episode was awesome just for not doing that.

Anupa: LOLOLOL

Imagine she jumped out the boat?

Jef: Yeah I’d scream at her.

At my TV.

I would.

Anupa: I wouldn’t blame Sawyer for shooting her dead in the water right there.

Jef: LOOOL

Anupa: JUST END THE CYCLE

PLEASE

Jef: That would be awesome.

And then cut to Claire, as she laughs.

Yeah, I hate Kate, but that scene she had with Claire was aight. I bought it. Even though Kate like NEVER MENTIONS AARON and I forgot she ever raised him. I think she sold that scene.

Anupa: Dude, why can’t she just be all like: “HEY CLAIRE! You were gone and someone needed to take care of the kid? Would you rather I gave him up for adoption? INGRATE!”

It really isn’t that complicated.

Jef: Haha yeah just stop acting like you stole the kid.

Anupa: TRUST ME

Jef: Be like I SAVED that blonde bastard.

YOU OWE ME.

Anupa: Claire’s so high school.

Jef: I think Claire really is like fresh from high school though lol.

Anupa: 16 and pregnant.

Jef: She’s one of those girls, you know.

So for sure yeah she ends up in the hospital birthing Aaron, right?

And Sun is there already with her baby saved.

Do you think it’s important that Jack’s son is wandering around there as well?

You think this kid is a factor?

Anupa: Why would Jack bring him to the hospital if not?

They made a point of his mom calling and the kid wanting to spend more time with his dad, and then him coming to the hospital instead of that time together being cut short.

If he doesn’t have a role to play I’m gonna call it and say the writers are spending their time crafting nonsense instead of the shit THE RATINGS PAY THEM TO DO.

I’m writing too much in caps this interrobang.

Diary of an angry brown woman.

Jef: No yeah I think he’s important too.

I mean, IMPORTANT TOO.

Anupa: Sorry, Angry Asian Man is taken already.

Jef: And he’s wandering free right now, with almost everyone there.

Anupa: But yeah, so the spoiler I read for today’s episode was that WALT shows up.

But he didn’t.

BUT

…what if he does now?

That would make all the kids.

Jef: He HAS to.

I will forgive the writers a lot of shit, but not Walt.

Anupa: We can send them cards that when you open them up they go WALLLLT like those birthday cards that play happy birthday.

Jef: Haha yeah if they don’t follow through I will forever send them WALT letters.

Anupa: LOL

Jef: They will just say WAAAALT.

Or maybe “He’s my son! WAAAALT!”

Anupa: But seriously, why spend that time setting that whole thing up about him being speshal?

Jef: He’ll be there.

I’m saying finale.

Two hour movie style.

Anupa: Hopefully not Bruckheimer style.

Jef: You know they gotta save the most amazing cameos for last.

He’ll maybe be the cliffhanger for the second-last or something.

(Watch him show up next week now for no reason.)

Hm what else?

Wanna touch on Jin and Sun real quick?

Anupa: Yeah

I cried

I’ll admit it.

Jef: I didn’t cry, but I did get excited once I realized what was happening.

Dude, was it just me though, or did you think her brains were gonna fry when she passed through the pylons?

I was wincing.

Anupa: Yeah I totally thought that.

It would’ve been Artz-level awesome

But not, because we like her.

Do you notice Jin sounds like a grizzly bear when he speaks English?

His voice deepens like three registers.

Jef: Lol

I was going to say maybe he’s imitating whoever taught him. But he was taught by Sawyer.

Anupa: “I…love you too.”

LOLOL

Imagine he imitated Sawyer?

Jef: Jin with Sawyer’s twang would be awesome.

Anupa: It would be like seeing a black dude with an Irish accent…. WEIRD.

SO?

Jef: Yeah ok my final thoughts: this episode was dope all around and more impressive because it bucked the formula:

It wasn’t about any one character. It worked the whole ensemble, moved everyone into place, AND still had great character moments.

So I give it (drumroll): my faith. I have confidence they can pull off the finale, for sure.

You?

Anupa: What you said.

Knowing that the ingredients for a good LOST episode is a healthy mix of “!!” and “??” Jef and Anupa will be interrobanging the show’s final season every week. As LOST winds down to its conclusion, can its creators dish out all the needed explanations without resorting to exposition? Can they keep up the mystery without succumbing to just more mindfuckery?

Considering three semi-mega characters from past seasons showed up (although one of those cameos was predictable enough) in “Everybody Loves Hugo,” we’re venturing into surprises-guised-as-answers territory. We started out loving this episode and all of its Hurley-ness, but as our conversation commenced we realized—once again–that we’d been duped into thinking progress was being made when it really wasn’t. But, we did find out about the whispers so at least there’s that. Spoilers, boobs and Erykah Badu references, post-jump.

Jef: Help me out! I missed the beginning of Hugo’s slideshow retrospective.

What’d I miss?

Like, he just won the lottery? Or what?

Anupa: No, I don’t think it said…

Jef: So it was just Myles’ dad talking bout how Hugo’s all amazing and shit?

Anupa: Yup

Jef: Ah ok

Anupa: Why are you spelling Myles like Alannah Myles?

Jef: LOL

Best. Random. Reference. Ever.

But yes, episode was nuts

Anupa: “Black Velvet” was my shit.

Jef: I can karaoke the fuck out of it, yeah

Anupa: Let’s do it: LOST inspired karaoke

I wanna do Petula Clark

“When you’re alone and life is making you lonely you can always gooo… DOWN TOWN”

Jef: Anything but “You All Everybody”

Anupa: I like how you make a “You All Everybody” reference in every Interrobang

It’s your ringtone isn’t it?

Jef: I should get a tattoo

Anupa: Sorry, ringtune.

Jef: Then all the time I’ll be like “I HATE THIS TATTOO”

Aha OK.

Should we start with Libby or Michael?

Anupa: UMM

Jef: Or Brunette Kid?

Or Ilana?

GAH

Anupa: What about Marvin Candle, a.k.a. Daddy Miles?

Do you think that was a random “they are all connected” moment? Or something else?

Jef: It didn’t feel weight at all so I’m inclined to just say random connection. BUT given how tied in to the science of everything he was, AND given the fact Miles is still alive for no apparent reason—yeah, maybe something more.

That was a long-ass “I don’t know.”

Anupa: Don’t hold back!

But that’s why it was interesting, given how central he was to that whole Dharma thing and the fact that he was connected to a character who continues to live on the island-present…

But anyway, that was OH SNAP moment number one

Michael was definitely number two…

Quick: who were you expecting?

Jef: I was just expecting Libby from jump

I’m glad Michael made an appearance, but I’m disconcerted that he didn’t mention Walt ONCE

Anupa: I think that would’ve detracted from the storyline

Hopefully that will come.

I liked that it was Michael, given his connection to Libby

Jef: Yeah hopefully it comes, but it felt like that was Michael’s swan song

Then again…so did when he died.

Do you forgive Michael for killing Libby? Was he sympathetic?

Anupa: I think he knows what killing her means in the grand scheme of the Island

That’s likely what he meant by “we’re stuck here because of what we did”

Jef: I wonder how much these ghosts will actually play in the final actions. Are you content with the whispers=ghosts answer, and are you concluding Jack’s dad is really kicking around in ghost form somewhere?

Anupa: Um, well I was happy Michael said that because that seems like the show’s first attempt at providing a straightforward answer…BUT I think that was a conclusion we all could’ve come to.

And as for Christian, sure. But, why would he be there if he didn’t die there?

Jef: Yeah, that’s what I’m thinking. Which either means sloppy explanation, or, whispers=ghosts, but all the visions we’ve seen might have been something else altogether.

But that’s too mind-fucky for me…

Anupa: I’m leaning toward sloppy explanation at this point

Thinking that one was a freebie for the masses

Jef: One thing that Michael did for me was remind me of a time when there were black people on this show

Anupa: Yes, the days of lore.

Before they were plot devices who got speared by CLHHHAIRE.

Jef: Honestly! There really isn’t anyone left is there?

I guess Rose is technically still out there somewhere, living the life with Bernard.

Anupa: She doesn’t count because she’s a race traitor.

KIDDING :)

Jef: Ahaha no one will see the brilliance of the sideward-turning Gchat smiley

Anupa: Michael also reminded me of Walt.

I mean, if they don’t explain Walt now, I’ll be extra salty because they didn’t have to bring Michael back just to remind us they’re not explaining it.

Jef: Yeah man, that’s why I’m concerned Michael didn’t mention him at all, because if ever you’re going to set up a Walt thing this was the time

Not even a “say hi to my son” or ANYTHING

The other big return of the episode: LIBBY

Shall we?

Anupa: Oh man.

Her eyes are as big as Juliet’s boobs.

Jef: I’m saying, people stay getting hotter in reality two.

Anupa: At first I thought they changed her name to Rosalita

Jef: And GREEN, her eyes are so GREEEEEEEN

Anupa: Cus she eats a lot of vegetables

Jef: * rimshot *

Anupa: Hey diggy diggy

I get infinity points for two Erykah Badu references IN A ROW

Jef: (I just sang “you betta call Tyyyyrone” in my head and LOLed)

Ok well I know Libby has been an issue with fans

Having her show in reality two but not really revealing much about who she was in reality-prime—was this satisfying?

Anupa: They didn’t reveal too much about her in the first place

I’d venture to say the most intriguing thing about her is WHY she was in the institution with Hurley in those flashbacks…

So even though we didn’t necessarily get those answers, seeing her in that setting was oddly satisfying.

Jef: Her appearance here didn’t really qualify that big reveal that she was also in the madhouse

I guess it just shows that reveal was something they pulled out of their asses and couldn’t follow up on

I can let it go. I dug her here. But still, it’s like she’s just there to provide this MOMENT for Hurley. Which is something that, more and more, all the women on this show are here for.

Am I reaching?

Anupa: Yikes, don’t say that. I mean, we’ve yet to see how Sun and Kate’s storylines play out…I mean, maybe it’s by virtue of there being more male protagonists.

But, I do feel more and more that this episode was more about placating with guest appearances than providing real answers

Am I reaching too? LOL

Jef: No no, you’re on point with that.

And I would have said the same about Kate and Sun if not for the fact that we’ve already seen their flash-sideways stories, and neither of them did much of anything in them. Even worse, Sun got shot.

I was kind of hoping Ilana would prove to be a last-act badass, but, uhm, yeah.

Anupa: I just figured the Kate and Sun stories aren’t necessarily resolved yet…

Okay wait, I’m confused about a couple things

They already went to the Black Rock and that’s how Ilana got dunned off Arzt-style?

And, what did she say to them before she blew up? Ben said that she told them who they are?

Jef: “Told them who they are” as in, they’re candidate, I think.

But yeah, they didn’t show it to us, but I had to just assume they picked up dynamite already.

Which makes Ilana EXTREMELY STUPID for throwing her backpack down.

You’re right. That scene was sloppy, joe.

Anupa: AGH! You are making me hate this ep!!

Jef: HAHAH

Anupa: And I started out loving it

Jef: Me too though!

OK let’s talk about some good stuff?

Er. Let’s see. Libby’s eyes, check.

I have to say, that scene in the fried chicken joint with Hurley and Desmond was well done.

I’m not sure if it was the acting or whatever but that played really well for me.

Anupa: Dez is on some weird, Jacob-esque stalker shit

Or like the bad guy from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Slugworth

Jef: Oh snap

Anupa: DEZ IS THE NEW JAKE

Jef: Is that all Jacob is? Some guy from a THIRD REALITY crosssing over and touching all his old friends?

That was a joke.

But eerily could be backed up as a theory.

So this is what Dez was planning to do?

Visit everyone on the manifest and if they say something weird, tell them they’re not weird?

Or…run them over?

Anupa: Well that was interesting too, because I was wondering how he was going to go about this whole getting the manifest and “showing people” thing…

And his methods have proved interesting: from stalking to ordering fried chicken (STRANGE FOR A MAN WHO RUNS STADIUM STEPS, NO?) to running over Locke

Jef: Yeah it’s not much of a plan at all—but your comparison with Jacob is one that I like: I never thought of the parallel before.

It’s hard to say what kind of weight it carries. With all the mirroring going on in this show, which ones actually MEAN something and which ones are just playful?

One good thing I can say; it makes Jacob seem more like just a regular dude, which is something I liked from the Richard episode.

The less these dudes are gods, the more I feel safe about the finale.

Anupa: Right.

It’s just these dudes who have been changed by an experience.

I think it reinforces the “Dez is special” theme too

Which was interesting….given his whole interaction with Locke. When he was talking with Locke, before he got Timmy O’Toole’d, he said there is nothing special about him… but we’ve been told he is special.

Jef: Yes, big co-sign on alla dat. Also, if Dez does somehow end up actually inheriting the Jacob position, it’s a good way to keep the mythology in tact while also proving that the characters were in charge of their Destinies the whole time. Jacob would still be “special” but he wouldn’t be a prophet. He’d just be some dude with a list of draft picks.

A list that could be proven wrong.

Anupa: EXACTLY.

Jef: But also interesting about Dez’s talk with Locke was when he said “You’re John Locke.”

Anupa: YES.

YES.

Jef: And we got that awesome reaction shot.

Anupa: WHAT DOES THAT MEAN!?

Jef: IS he John Locke??

Anupa: I THINK HE IS.

Jef: When Dez runs down Locke pt 2 at the end, assuming it was a revenge killing, it’s either 1) he didn’t know Locke wasn’t Locke, or 2) he knew EXACTLY who he was and that’s why he tried to murk his ass

Anupa: Well, I mean, my immediate thought was that he did it to enable Locke meeting Jack….

Given his whole ENABLER thing… though everyone so far has been fucked with via a romantic partner..

Jef: Yeah, I was assuming that too. But damn he GUNNED for him, and considering other Locke just threw him down a well, I dunno.

Dude, what if Smokey IS Locke like you’re thinking?

I can’t decide if that would be awesome or really not awesome!

Is this something you’d want to happen?

Anupa: YES

Because it would tie into the original Crazy Locke

Jef: And realize the Jack vs. Locke battle that we initially started with

Anupa: I like the idea of him being obsessed with this shit and playing into this game the whole time

Jef: If it happens like that though, I hope at least one of the Lockes is a good guy

How you figure all these random ass kids figures in to the picture?

The raggedy-ass kids walking around in the forest

Anupa: Well I was curious about that because remember when Sawyer saw that kid and Flocke freaked out?

Jef: Yeah dude and that was also the first time we saw the Locke/Smokey comparison.

I think that’s where your theory was:

When he screamed “Don’t tell me what I can’t do!” to the kid

Anupa: YES!

We’re seeing shades of real Locke

Jef: Hmm

I wonder—if this is actually happening or not—whether it was Real Locke all along, or are the two merging somehow or if Locke is asserting himself somehow?

This episode seems to have asked more questions than provided answers I feel

Anupa: AHHH… in true #LOST fashion

OMG, I actually put the hashtag in not on purpose

CRINGE

Jef: LOL it’s become part of you

Anupa: A couple of holes: where did Jin go again?

Jef: He’s with Widmore

Anupa: Oh yeah

Jef: He’s getting Widdy with it

Anupa: You rule. I am being genuine.

Also: what was Hurley looking at in that little velvet bag, just before Richard spazzed the fuck out on the beach?

Jef: Yes yes. I’m assuming it was Ilana’s, but yeah what was it?

It kind of sucks that that’s all Ilana was good for—she left a pouch for Hurley.

Aside from Ben’s redemption (which could have been provided by anyone, really), she didn’t really accomplish much else.

Whatever it was, it gave Hurley some balls.

…maybe it was balls in there?

Anupa: Was it Jacob’s ashes?

Dude, you are bursting my bubble

Jef: Maybe but I don’t see why that would be such a big deal like that.

Anupa: This show is not going to end well.

THERE, I SAID IT.

Jef: Hurley already talks to the dude, you know?

Hahaha I’m giving you that impression?

I’m like the only person on the Internet it seems who STILL has faith in this show

Anupa: No. You are not alone (c) MJ

Miss Info loves it too.

Jef: And I love Miss Info!

Anupa: More than Mary Choi?

I’M TELLING.

Jef: So you liked this episode at first glance?

Tell me some good shit about it.

Anupa: Libby’s boobs were out of control when she was on the beach cheese date with Hugo.

So, there’s that.

Jef: I’M SAYING.

REALITY TWO.

It’s frisky over there.

Yo

On some HD tip

Anupa: Uh huh?

Jef: There was a shot on the beach where she had this huge thing in her teeth

Then the next shot it was gone.

Totally distracted me from the cleavage.

Anupa: Can you screencap that somehow?

PREASE!

Jef: Haha I’m not that cool though

…you’ve seen my photoshop skills.

Anupa: You know what else I loved about this episode? The whole walking through the jungle shit… took me back to the old LOST.

All of these camps of people just traipsing around

Jef: Oh yes that reminds me!

What did you think of Jack’s leader speech?

A.K.A. his “maybe I should fall back” speech?

Anupa: LOVED IT!

Jef: Haha, did you love it because you want Jack to fall back?

Anupa:  He’s repenting.

(And that)

Jef: Yeah, that was a huge-ass moment for that character

And the episode wasn’t even about him!

Jef: So yeah, I liked that. Especially because the show’s been so NOT Jack-centric lately, which is weird given how it started off in S1, so this makes that shift more of a character development rather than, you know, just scattershot screenwriting

Anupa: Verdict?

Jef: It had some ? moments, and also ! moments, but never at the same time really.

I like to be tag-teamed by that shit (paws).

So yeah. A ! and a ?, but no interrobang.

Anupa: Eeeenteresting

Because the hat trick of cameos in the beginning (Candle, Michael and Libby) totally raised this to an Interrobang level for me

?!

Jef: Sigh, yeah, I think that we had a Michael and Libby recall at ALL elevates the episode

But I feel like Hurley on the beach overall. “Uhm….hey.” Speechless. Sort of. Yeah.

Anupa: How do you break the ice with a Smoke Monsta?

Jef: Haha is this one of those bad-jokes?

HOW?

Anupa: “Hey… good thing the batteries are dead in my smoke detector”

Whatever, guys. Can we just... do something else now?

Knowing that the ingredients for a good LOST episode is a healthy mix of “!!” and “??” Jef and Anupa will be interrobanging the show’s final season every week. As LOST winds down to its conclusion, can its creators dish out all the needed explanations without resorting to exposition? Can they keep up the mystery without succumbing to just more mindfuckery?  Last week we were pleased to discover that Miles was finding stuff to do, so you can imagine our delight when  he showed up early on in “Recon.” Not that this was a Miles episode anyway, but since the majority of this recap will involve exploring the depths of Sawyer’s  ungodly good looks (along with deciphering Smoke-Locke’s intentions and Sayid’s hilarious newfound nonchalance) I figured I should begin misleadingly. SPOILERS after the jump:

Anupa: Sawyer is so hot. I would lick cake batter off his body.

Jef: Haha ok. Yes. Good start.

Anupa: #justsayin

Okay, but really. I enjoyed this episode a lot; for some reason, Sawyer and Miles make a fantastic team.

I really enjoy watching them together… maybe it’s because they are both sarcastic jerks?

Jef: I think we’re switching places from the Sayid episode. I liked this one in parts, but overall it kinda missed me.

But yes, I like Sawyer and Miles as a team. I also liked their break-up scene where Miles throws him into the locker.

It was very Saved By The Bell.

Anupa: Well, with Sawyer I feel like they’re obviously catering to female fans, so the storyline suffers a bit.

Is that wrong of me to say? I feel like it’s the truth in a sense. It’s very..shirtless-scene, big reveal, witty one liner, wry emotion, shirtless-scene.

Maybe I’m simplifying Sawyer.

Jef: Lol don’t get me wrong—I love Sawyer, no pause, he totally owned last season.

This episode just didn’t feel tight.

Anupa: The logical part of my brain sees that but my female hormones are vehemently disagreeing with you.

Jef: That sounds so menacing!

Ok let’s talk some shit:

Do you think Miles can break bread with ghosts in this reality?

Anupa: I was wondering about that. I think that that might be some type of continuity thing; they all seem to retain the vaguely special/significant things about them, and in terms of Miles, aside from his Dad being whats-his-face-with-the-fake-arm, that’s his “thing.”

Jef: Hm yeah you’re right, and that’s a big testament to how thin his character is in Reality Prime.

Once you erase his daddy issues, there’s not much left aside from him calling Sawyer “boss.”

Anupa: And occasional meany-ness.

Since we’re on the topic of Miles, what did you think of Charlotte’s return?

Jef: They even took away his lechery!

“I have a girlfriend.” Whatever!

The Charlotte thing just felt extra to me.

Of course I like the “everyone is connected” bit, it’s one of the meaningful aspects of the show, but I don’t see the point of it with her. That had NO connection to who she was on the island.

Anupa: Right… it was random.

But didn’t you thinking she looked smoking?

Jef: LOL

Anupa: I totally have a thing for gingers.

Jef: I was waiting for her to get a nosebleed.

Anupa: Gross!!!

Also, I felt like she was totally prying and not just looking for a shirt after her and Sawyer did it.

Like, it almost felt like she was up to something…

Reading too much into it?

Jef: Yeah, it was almost like Miles sent her on purpose, which would tie into the “Recon” theme, but they didn’t sell that.

Anupa: OH. That’s totally it.

DUH.

Jef: Naw, they didn’t make it clear. It’s a miss!

Anupa: Can I just add that you don’t go looking in someone’s drawer when they say they’re going to get a glass of water? That is indicative of a prompt return.

If you’re gonna snoop, do it when they take a dump or shower.

That was just bad timing on her part.

Jef: Yeah and I don’t see the big deal about lying about it.

Just be like “Yo, I found this picture you keep in your drawer with your dead parents because you told me go in the drawer to get a t-shirt.”

Anupa: Also, in other Charlotte-related grievances, why would she give him the screwface when he brought her a flower?

I mean, she has got to be fucking some fly-ass men to turn that down.

Jef: Awwwwww, sunflower and a six-pack.

I’m totally stealing that.

Anupa: Sawyer knows what’s up.

But, I think all of this illustrates that Sideways Sawyer’s storyline was definitely a little thin…

We find out he is still looking for his dad, blah blah blah.

Jef: Yeah I was going to say—what’s the point of giving him this big change of heart, but really he hasn’t had a change of heart?

Anupa: I like how they set it up as ‘this is what would happen if he chose the other path,’ but after that, the episode depended heavily on his swooniness.

Jef: At least Sayid was FORCED into a situation that brought him back to where he was. Here Sawyer’s like, “I chose the path of righteousness! But I’m still gonna kill the motherfucker.”

Wanna head to the island for a bit?

First off what the hell is up with Claire’s tent? It’s made scrap metal and shit?

It looked like the end of The Brave Little Toaster.

Anupa: HAHAHAHA Claire is hilarious.

Also I love The Brave Little Toaster.

They are writing her craziness so poorly.

“AND THEN… SHE WILL NEATLY FOLD THE BLANKET OVER HER CREEPY ANIMAL SKULL CHILD.”

Jef: LOL

Also, her attack on Kate was way too random.

Anupa: Yeah the ambush was dumb, especially since it was preceded by Claire holding Kate’s hand.

I loved that scene when Kate walked in to the tent and was like all like “Yo guy, what is dat?” Because it’s what we’re all thinking, and then Claire got all embarrassed by it.

Jef: It sucks because De Ravin is surprisingly good at being crazy. But yeah the writers are wasting it.

LOL she got all sheepish like “Oh..this old thing?”

Anupa: Once again, too cliche, horror-movie scary

HAH

And then the Kate-Claire hug later on….I wished Claire just committed to the crazy and stabbed Kate in the neck or some shit.

Jef: They’re going back and forth between making her lucid and making her totally insane, and it’s not playing well. Just choose one.

Anupa: Exactly.

Jef: What’d you think of Sayid’s level of crazy?

Anupa: I LOVED IT!

It was hilarious. He looked sooooooo nonchalant. And Naveen Andrews plays bored VERY well.

Come to think of it, everyone who is acting crazy is coming off as hilarious so maybe this is more atrocious than I am interpreting it as.

But didn’t you just guffaw a little when he stayed chilling on that log.

Jef: “Are you ok?”

Anupa: * yawn *

Jef: “No.”

I like that his infection is really just making him emo.

Anupa: He needs to borrow Richard’s guyliner.

Jef: It would be awesome if he was like, “I’m BUSY! God!”

Anupa: From there, what is Smocke’s deal?

Jef: Ok yeah, the episode was ehhh for me but thumbs up for the scene with Smokes and Kate!

That “I had a crazy mother” bit is great Lost because it is an answer and a question at the same time.

Anupa: Right.

I also loved the comparison, that now Aaron has a crazy mother.

First, because it was funny that Smocke called Claire crazy, because she is.

Second, because I do not know what it means for Aaron, but I find it interesting.

Jef: Oh yeah, so many things to think about now with Aaron.

Anupa: Is he going to be the next Smokey?

Jef: Remember back when the psychic told Claire that bad things would happen if anyone else raises Aaron? Now Smokes is pretty much validating Kate’s decision to adopt.

I dunno if he’ll be Smokey—maybe! I still have this feeling that Walt and Aaron play into all this in the same way.

And baby Kwon.

Anupa: Well their presence would be pointless if not.

“Bad things” happen to other people maybe. I.e. Claire goes crazy

Jef: Crazy hot.

Anupa: .

Moving on.

I like how Smocke said he would get everyone off the island, but does that just mean he is moving them to Hydra island… i.e. is he playing a game of semantics?

Jef: AHahahah imagine??

What an asshole!

Anupa: “I did take you off the island, but I didnt say WHERE I was taking you!”

Jef: Fade to black.

Anupa: That would be like the No Homers Club on The Simpsons.

Jef: That would be the craziest finale ever.

Anupa: I am actually losing my mind laughing at the No Homers Club right now—that shit was funny.

Jef: “We said no Homersssss.”

Anupa: HAHAHA YES.

Okay but back to Smocke’s intentions:

Is he good or bad…? What sense are you getting?

Jef: What I love about Smokes is that he’s very upfront about shit.

He’s like “Yeah, I’m that smoke thing.”

“You’re right, I’m not Locke.”

So I believe him that he just wants off the fucking island.

Anupa: Well, not really though… he told everyone that the Smoke Monster killed the people in the temple but he only told certain people that he is the Smoke Monster.

If he really was being straight, he would have said that HE killed the people in the temple.

So, he is being selective to an extent.

Jef: Haha yeah, but you know what I mean right? This where the Satan parallel comes in again, because yeah he’s playing mindgames to his advantage, but he ain’t really lying.

Honestly though, if anyone reading this has some sort of Judeo-Christian knowledge help me out:

Is there a Jacob in there with an evil brother and a crazy mother? Because the whole vibe is biblical to me.

Anupa: True say, guy.

Time to read the bible!

Jef: Noooooooo!

Anupa: Widmore: what is his deal and what is in that locked room?

Jef: Shit, I have no idea.

But I HOPE it is Reality 2 Faraday!

Anupa: I hope it is another Smoke Monster and then there will be a Smoke Monster duel!

ROUND ONE…. FIGHT!

Jef: Oh man smoke vs. smoke, that’s like Sub Zero v. Scorpion.

Anupa: LOL

Jef: Who do you think had the better mirror smash?

Sawyer or Jack?

Anupa: Sawyer, because his was a dreamier smash.

Jef: Fair enough.

Anupa: I still do not understand what Widmore wants with the Island, because now it is Jacob versus Smokey versus Widmore?

Jef: Yeah it’s weird because Widmore wants the island, but Smoke doesn’t.

Where’s the conflict?

Anupa: TRADESIES!

Jef: I guess obvs they have a past together and some unsettled scores…shrugs.

Anupa: Does that shrug denote that you are content to passively watch how this plays out?

Jef: Yup. I dunno what’s up with Widmore but I’m confident it’s going somewhere. It’s not annoying me or nothing.

Anupa: It’s annoying me. Also, because the dude who plays Widmore is on, like, every TV show ever.

So he just seems like a random dude to me instead of *DUN DUN DUN * WIDMORE

He was on The OC for shits sake.

Jef: For real? He must be one of those character actors who blends in all the time because I have no idea who he is.

Anupa: Well he is, because I don’t know his name, he just plays some villainous old white dude.

All the time.

He must be the first guy they call when they are casting a villainous old white guy.

Jef: He’s got this diet-Brian Cox vibe, yeah.

Yo, that cliffhanger was SO WEAK.

“We’re taking the sub.”

WOW. The sub over the BROKEN PLANE?

Anupa: Yeah, it was a little Bruckheimer.

Jef: Well shit, let me just spit my food out.

Anupa: Don’t get any on me.

What is your final verdict?

Jef: I’m giving it the side-eye. It wasn’t bad but I didn’t see the point of half of it. Just a ‘lil !. No ?

Anupa: And I give it a <3

Jef: Gross. You should make “La Fleur” your safe word.

Anupa: Whatever papi! I’m out. BTW I’m taking the sub.

Jef: NO WAY!

"I am the ghost of Aaron future... or something?"

Knowing that the ingredients for a good LOST episode is a healthy mix of “!!” and “??” Jef and Anupa will be interrobanging the show’s final season every week. As LOST winds down to its conclusion, can its creators dish out all the needed explanations without resorting to exposition? Can they keep up the mystery without succumbing to just more mindfuckery? It’s only week three and already the confusion is settling in. SPOILERS after the jump:

Jef: I want to jump in because I am itching to talk about this shit.

Anupa: Me too.

Jef: Can we start by saying YAY John Locke!

Anupa: “hell yeah” (c) dead prez.

Jef: Locke episodes are always awwwwesome.

Anupa: Yeah, he is the most interesting character by far. I wonder if that’s on purpose.

Jef: He’s easily the most relatable. We are either Lockes, or we feel like Lockes.

Here’s what i love about the open: (or at least near the open)

Anupa: Besides the return of Peggy Bundy?

Jef: Where Locke says “All right Richard; time to talk”

You just KNOW the episode is aiming for your g spot!

Oh and yes, Peggy Bundy!

Anupa: You know, there’s a theory out there that Richard is Smokey-the-man’s son.

Jef: Hmmm. I don’t see the foundation for that though? How you feel about that?

Other than Richard wearing all black everything.

Anupa: LOL. Well it might help explain why Richard doesn’t age.

Jef: Hm. It’s possible. But it’s not moving me.

Anupa: Yeah I mostly don’t care, but it could help explain things.

Like why Smokey-Locke let Richard go instead of killing him.

Also, how did Richard get in the hammock?

Jef: I like that you call it a hammock.

And my guess is Claire.

Anupa: Ahhh.. or wait, didn’t Smokey-Locke (Slocke?) knock him ouuut at the end of the first episode?

Never mind, mundanities.

Jef: Yeah he gave him the throat punch, which is an awesome punch.

Anupa: I loved that sequence from Smokey’s perspective.

That shit was awesome!

Jef: Smokey Vision!

OK let’s talk about the stuff we learned about Smokey.

Smokey has visions!

This is huge.

Anupa: How you mean?

Jef: Because I thought they were implying that he was a shape shifter, and hence all the visions were him.

But he’s creeped out when that kid with the blood hands appears and Rich-boy can’t see him.

Anupa: Ah right

Jef: He’s not a shape shifter, he’s trapped as Locke.

So all those ghosts are still a mystery.

Anupa: Yes, you’re right.

Well in keeping with that… I thought it was curious that they showed Smokey-vision and then he appeared trapped as Locke from then on in.

Anupa: Like, what triggered the trapping?

This was manifest, of course, in me saying “WHY DOES HE NEED A PACK? HE’S A SMOKE MONSTER”

Jef: This is perfect Lost! Answers + riddles at the same time.

Anupa: “WHY IS HE CHASING THE BOY WHEN HE CAN TURN INTO THE MONSTER AND SMOKE HIM?”

I meant that pun.

Jef: Haha.

Anupa: You don’t have to be nice.

Jef: It was sarcastic!

LOL soooo the boy:

What’s your theory?

Anupa: God, I have no idea. He looks kind of like a mash-up of Sawyer and Jacob but I think all white people look alike so….

Jef: Yaow.

I’m saying though: he’s Aaron!

Anupa: You’re just saying that because he’s a little white boy.

Jef: Exactly!

Haha no, but Aaron is made such a big deal out of he has to figure in somehow?

I think Walt and Aaron return to run shit

Anupa: Yes, that would be the perfect place to slot him in.

Jef: OK I am just talking shit now but maybe!

That would explain Walt’s superpowers, if he is Smokey-redux or some shit

Anupa: So this also begs the question:

Should Sawyer not be able to see him? Does Sawyer have powers?

Jef: Hmmmmmm

I doubt he has powers, but it has to be something.

The only one for sure who can’t see him is Richard.

Obvs this can’t be real-time Aaron, because he would only be like 3-years-old.

Anupa: Right right.

Jef: But if it’s like, Time Travel Aaron, then maybe Sawyer can see him because he’s not fully settled in this timeline anyway.

HOLY SHIT TALKING HAPPENING.

Anupa: Yeah, you lost me there.

“Lost” me there

Jef: LOL, okay let’s just deal with some shit we saw on our screens.

womp WOMP

Anupa: I know. I’m sorry.

Jef: That last womp was violent.

Anupa: Okay, let’s rewind a second and go back to sideways world.

Jef: Let’s talk about timeline two!

Get out of my head!

Anupa: JINX

Let us bask in the glory that is a well-adjusted, Peggy-lovin’ Locke.

What caught my attention right away was when Peg said something about inviting John’s dad, Anthony Cooper, to a shotgun wedding

Does that mean Locke was put in a wheelchair in a different way? And, if so, that opens up the idea that he was always meant to be in a wheelchair—regardless of “Jacob’s touch” (no pedo)

Jef: “Always meant to be in a wheelchair”

I love how the wheelchair changes Locke so much.

Instead of the man of faith we see on the island, here he’s all rational and Mr. Science, hence the science teacher gig

Anupa: Well is it the wheelchair? Or how he was put in the wheelchair?

In our usual timeline, after the wheelchair he went nuts. In this one, he’s mostly calm.

Locke looked really content as the science teacher.

But wait, we’ve gone too far!

Jef: He did! Which is so interesting.

Anupa: He gets fired and then runs into Hurley, who is like, boss man.

Large and in charge.

Jef: Yes, and he sends him to Rose, whom you love so much, and she tells Locke what he can’t do, and he acquiesces!

Meanwhile, back on the island

Anupa: I love Rose because she wise, as that scene proved.

Jef: Smokey-Locke is throwing a “Don’t Tell Me What I Can’t Do” FIT at some blonde kid.

Anupa: Yeah, that was kind of weird that he used Locke’s line.

Jef: Go on.

Anupa: Does it mean that part of Locke gets passed into Smokey?

Because he is inhabiting his body?

Jef: I liked it. I like that Smokey is becoming more of a character, not just some stupid God-thing that would get annoying quick.

I have thoughts on that but I can’t articulate right now.

Also because it could just be a funny haha from the writers.

Anupa: You’re right. I kind of predicted Smokey to be ruthless and nuts, not measured and… human.

Jef: It totally brings him down to earth, but also elevates everyone else because we know now that any of these people could BE him.

Anupa: Ah, true.

So, okay, what do you think “the rules” are?

Why can’t he kill Sawyer? And do you really think he will?

Jef: Can he not kill Sawyer?

I just know he can’t kill Jacob.

(But did.)

Anupa: Stop answering my questions with questions!

Jef: That’s what Lost is all about!

OK well to answer your question:

Smokey and Jacob can’t kill each other, or anyone who takes their place. I think Smokey WANTS Sawyer to inherit the position because he’s the one most likely to bounce from the island without giving a fuck about everyone else. I think Smokey and Jacob can’t leave unless they leave together, which is why Smokey pulled the okey-doke.

Can’t kill Jacob? Get a new Jacob.

Anupa: Ahh…

I must compliment you on that fabulous thinking cap.

Jef: *curtsy*

Anupa: Okay. Alright, so, shit. What now…?

Jef: Can I just say:

This isn’t important, but that Locke-burial scene was so good.

Anupa: Hell yeah.

Jef: Ben had jokes, plus seeing all those CROSSES?

It really gets across what kind of journey we/they’ve been on these past years.

Anupa: Yeah, I liked that they brought him back there.

It only felt right.

Jef: This was a good episode. Tight like that.

Anupa: Word.

I feel like Ilana is an unnecessary character.

Just had to throw that in there.

Jef: Yo did i miss something? What happened to her partner?

Anupa: She had a partner?

Jef: The mustachioed dude with the guns.

Anupa: I have no fucking idea who that is. But maybe he died when Smokey fucked shit up under the giant foot in the first episode?

Jef: He was on the plane with them! He was the first one to find Smokey/Locke I think.

I seriously thought they were making him a character, then he disappeared.

Anupa: I have nothing to add since I still don’t know who you are talking about. But I am picturing a guy who looks like Stromboli from Pinocchio

Jef: There were some nice parallels happening in this episode

Not cheesy ones, like last week with Ethan.

Anupa: Yeah, they were a bit more nuanced I’d say.

Jef: Nuanced is the word.

I like that Locke is going through the Ben cycle of needing a spinal surgeon and magically meeting Jack.

But unlike Ben, Locke didn’t follow up. He let that shit go.

Anupa: Which was curious. I mean, I’d say that negates the whole point of that interaction, but it probably just means the writers have something else up their sleeves.

Jef: Oh yeah, I think they’ll still meet somehow. The fate card is a strong one and no way are they done playing it.

OK, let’s talk about the thing we haven’t mentioned but is all !!!??!!!

The numbers!

Describe your oh shit reaction to me

Anupa: I screamed.

And then right away I was like OMG:

The numbers correspond to people!

Jef: I think I did the OH SNAP, which I’m not proud of.

Anupa: Yeah I did that finger snap hand shaking thing.

You know what I mean.

Jef: I am doing it right now.

Anupa: Basically I am a 28-year-old West Indian guy.

Jef: Different still, guy.

Anupa: AHAHAHAHHAHA

OK, enough with the Toronto-isms.

Jef: the numb3rssss

Anupa: At first I thought 4, 8, 15, 16, 23, 42 would correspond to the Oceanic 6.

6 numbers, 6 people

Jef: True. Well, you weren’t far off.

Anupa: But Kate was swapped out for Sawyer.

Jef: They def did correspond to “survivors.”

It’s still messed up how they play into Hugo’s lottery and the hatch, which I am now confident it will.

Anupa: Yeah it’ll be interesting to see how this connects to that.

But I like this direction so far.

Jef: I think that’s what I like most about this episode:

It felt like the writers are for-serious about providing answers and while I still hate the last episode, I can dig it because one by one they’re addressing shit.

Episode one: smoke monster.

Episode two: infection.

Episode three: numbers.

Anupa: Right.

Jef: This is all shit that was established in like, the first season, so I’m down now.

I feel good about this!

Anupa: Word.

I also liked how they showed that scale with the rocks.

Jef: Ahahah Smokey’s got jokes.

Anupa: Remember the dream Claire had back in season.. 2, I think it was?

Where Locke was behind the scale with one white eye and one black eye?

Jef: Oh crap!

Anupa: Foreshadowing

Jef: (I am doing the snap finger)

I don’t think I have to ask what you give this episode, do I?

Anupa: I give it an !!!!

And I will add that I found Locke kinda hot in an old man way when he was sitting in the tub talking to Helen. That’s why all of those extra !!!’s are there.

Jef: ..and you hate on me for crushing on Claire??

Anupa: Whatever guy, Locke’s a G.

Jef: I give this episode an ???

With our powers combined:

Interrobangs, guy.

We are everybody! But who the hell is this guy?

Knowing that the ingredients for a good LOST episode is a healthy mix of “!!” and “??” Jef and Anupa will be interrobanging the show’s final season every week. As LOST winds down to its conclusion, can its creators dish out all the needed explanations without resorting to exposition? Can they keep up the mystery without succumbing to just more mindfuckery? SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER. Shit gets geeky after the jump:

Jef: Ok

let’s Interrobang this shit

Anupa: Word

you start

Jef: The OPENING

When Blondie hits the bomb with the rock and it goes white and then we start AGAIN with Jack opening his eyes

How’d you feeeeel?

Anupa: Dude, i watched the “leaked” four minutes. and my immediate reaction was “here we go again, ugh!” but then….Jack looked disoriented, and then CINDY handed him one bokkle of vodka instead of two!

so i figured, okay they’re on to something

Jef: Bokkle! I avoided the leak, because that’s how I roll. When the camera dives into the ocean and we see the whole shit underwater though, that was cheesy, right? Just me?

Anupa: It was mad cheesy

and mad frustrating

the graphics were so bad too, and i was watching it on HD!

Jef: HD ruins everything!

Anupa: Did your heart not melt when Rose and Bernard were eskimo kissing and shit?

i love them, and i hope they tie into the ultimate ending somehow.

Jef: Omg NO. I hate Bernard and Rose! This recap is over.

Anupa: “Heartless”-kanye west

Jef: How do you feel about Desmond being on the plane??

Anupa: Um

Jef: In terms of the interrobang, that gets a big ?? from me

Anupa: First of all, Desmond is probably one of my favourite characters so I was initially excited to see him. But really, it’s just a big WTF because it raises a million other questions

one of which is, so where’s Penny?

Jef: Yes and YES, brother

Anupa: LOL

and i was kind of confused that Jack didn’t recognize him from LA

i mean, how long did it take them to figure that out on the island?

Jef: You’re exactly right. If everything up to the plane ride is essentially the same, then he SHOULD recognize him from jump

but that’s the other ?? part — shit is NOT the same up to the plane ride

Anupa: YEAH

Jef: Hence why Hurley is now “the luckiest guy in the world”

Anupa: YEAH

when he said that I yelled at the TV “no you’re not!”

also, Sawyer still seemed smarmy, but not surly

Jef: Moreso though: parallel universe!! are you okay with this?

Anupa: No.

Jef: Haha

Anupa: Honestly, i refuse to believe they’d make it this complicated

Jef: Didn’t you watch Star Trek?

Anupa: Yeah, TNG

Jef: No no, the JJ Abrams reboot. With Neytiri and the sexy guys.

I feel you on the complication factor, but multiverses get me kind of hard, even though they rarely pull through and be the awesome they can be

Anupa: I’m still stuck on them (Cuse and Lindeloff) saying back around s.3 that there would be a logical explanation for everything.

but okay… so we’ve basically got to accept the fact that instead of the past couple of seasons moving back and forth through time, we’ve got two separate (maybe) realities happening, correct?

Jef: Exactly. We’ve gone from flashbacks, to flash-forwards, to time travel, to diff. realities

i’m cool with all that, but what gets me is how they’re going to reconcile this

do we end up with 2 Jacks and 2 Sawyers etc meeting face to face or sending messages through the ether?

Anupa: That would be really cool. jumping ahead, that would be really cool in the context of that awesome Jack/Locke scene in the airport

what did you make of Charlie stuffing the drugs down his throat then being all “thanks but no thanks” to Jack?

Jef: It hit a good note, because it drives home that a lot of went down on the island was about redemption and second chances

Jack gets to erase some deaths and more importantly his broken boo-hoo heart, but he screws over mad people in the process

Anupa: Hey, didn’t Locke totally fool you into thinking “well, since everything else is different, maybe he’s not in the wheelchair?” after that convo with Boone? Turns out that he was lying.

Jef: BOOOOONE

yo did Maggie Grace flop on them or something? Boone without the creepy sister love is just a dude with Gossip Girl hair

Anupa: I think that was one of the saddest things of the whole two hours for me. Seeing Locke, who became such a Robinson Crusoe through his adventures, back to not having experienced any of that

Jef: Oh god, so much of Locke makes me sad! We’ll get to that later.

Are you sad about Juliet?

Anupa: I am sad about Juliet, mostly in the context of Sawyer/Juliet

Jef: Yes, Juliet made Sawyer awesome

Anupa: But also because she was a great character

i wish they explored what she would have been privy to knowing

Jef: You’re right though, we got no knowledge from Juliet. And we spent a YEAR with the Dharma initiative and didn’t learn anything except that they were a bunch of drunken hippies

But the Bigger Mystery has been revealed for us!

How do you feel about Jacob?

Anupa: I’m not convinced that he’s good. Just because he seems like he’s “helping” the characters we know

and is the adversary of the Man in Black/Fake Locke/Smokey

I think the writers have led us to make assumptions, but haven’t really given us anything concrete

Jef:  Two things about Jacob:

Anupa: Shoot.

Jef: I’m not feeling how he’s appeared in all of their lives previously. This does NATHAN for me — I already knew everyone was connected. This just made the connection stupid for me.

and 2) he just looks like some scruffy T-dot hipster dude in a bar!

Anupa: Hahaha, he totally does. We should call him @jacob

Jef: Done! @jacob

Anupa: Well he didn’t appear in EVERYONE’S life did he?

Jef: RT @jacob (korean korean)

no, you’re right. at least not “yet”.

Anupa: So moving off of Jacob, what about the big reveal re: MIB/Smokey

That was cool

Any ideas as to what Smokey actually is?

Jef: I’m just glad smokey is an actual character

i thought they were gonna rest on the whole “it’s a guard dog” thing

But as they reduced some of the mystical shit down to digestible terms, they also introduced some other mumbo jumbo

i.e. Asian Fu-Manchu man and the Lazarus pit

I’M NOT FEELING ASIAN FU-MANCHU MAN

Anupa: He’s such a snob. “I don’t like the way English tastes on my tongue”

And trimming his little plants

Jef: Oh god i know

WHYYY

Anupa: It’s okay

Jef: I understand the need for the writers to throw in every genre trope from the treasure chest, but that shit wasn’t so much offensive as it was unnecessary. I get nothing from that. I felt like I was watching Xena.

Anupa: I watched Xena for a bit. Then it got insane and extra for a show about a hot fighting chick

Jef: I totally went through a Xena phase! (that sounds wrong?)

Anupa: And honestly, they’re just fucking with obsessives, because now I’m going to be fixated on why he doesn’t speak Engrish.

:)

Jef: Grrrr.

So the internet is saying that Jacob is now in the body of Sayid.

Anupa: I totally think that.

Jef: Poor Sayid.

Anupa: Here’s the thing about the temple water though

IF Fumanchu’s hand didn’t heal

why did he decide to dunk Sayid?

Jef: Oh yes, lots of not-sense going on in that temple!

Anupa: AND, when Sayid didn’t wake up, how come they didn’t freak the fuck out? After breaking open the ankh and reading the paper (list?) he said if Sayid died they’d be in a lot of trubz.

Jef: YES

Anupa: Instead, he went back to pruning

Jef: Temple: Hated It.

Anupa: Sun/Jin: Do you think maybe the “reset” altered Sun and Jin’s course… and maybe Sun actually can’t speak English?

Jef: Oh wow. That makes as much sense as the Hurley thing, so yes, maybe

And I’m sad that Jin is still an asshole

Anupa: Some people think Claire might not be pregnant, but then she’d have a completely different reason for going to LA. Thoughts?

Jef: We didn’t see the belly, huh?

I dunno, I’m just glad to have Claire back. She’s pretty!

I think the biggest new-universe development is Jack’s missing father-body.

Foreboding!

Anupa: Forebody-ing

:(

Jef: *applause*

Is Christian not able to travel across realities?

Did it wake him up?

I hate you, Christian.

Anupa: I think the Christian thing might be the most confusing element yet

I have absolutely no theories on it

Jef: On some fun shit though: who are you looking forward to returning?

aside from Claire, of course, because she is pretty

Anupa: Walt and Libby

Jef: LIBBY

haha Walt

Anupa: WAAAALT

Jef: They NEED to resolve Walt, but I also HATE Walt

Anupa: Those are probably two fascinating stories that won’t get told

Spin-off!

Locke:

Jef: OH YES.

When Smokey-Locke is like, ‘Locke’s dying thoughts were “I don’t understand”‘

that shit just broke my heart

The show had these two typical themes that 1) we can start over again and 2) we had a destiny. Locke embodied these things and wiping him out in THAT way puts the show in this sad place where ok yeah, we get free will, but we already HAD that.

The fantasy was that all our fucked up choices either could be erased or we could find redemption or that they were all a part of a Bigger Plan. Locke dying is depressing. Extra for the way he went out. But holy crap GOOD TELEVISION!

Anupa: Yeah, they completely built up this whole validating arc and then dashed it.

How wonderful would it be if Jack/Locke in LA worked as a team to interact with/affect what happens on the island?

Jef: And in the end, it’s WHEELCHAIR Locke that proves to be the most powerful character?

Anupa: Yes.

Jef: Hey wow. I believe you.

So was the premier a ! or a ? for you?

or an INTERROBANG?

Anupa: Definitely an interrobang

i’m thoroughly confused

Jef: Yes. But satisfied.