*DEAD*

When we started this LOST Interrobang recap series, our central concern about this show we loved was: “can its creators dish out all the needed explanations without resorting to exposition? Can they keep up the mystery without succumbing to just more mindfuckery?”

We agreed that good LOST episodes were a perfect balance of both qualities: ! and ?. Lesser episodes tilted too much in one direction or the other. Maybe because of that central concern over balance, never once did I imagine a series finale that would fail at both. With “The End”, LOST most certainly does end on exposition, and yet also leaves mysteries hanging, and also reveals that its final season was indeed a mindfuck, which would be OK if it were a good one, which it wasn’t. There’s a lot of territory to cover, so we’ve split this Interrobang into two editions. Tune in tomorrow for the continuation.

SPOILERS and spoilsports, after the jump:

Anupa: Oh man.

We have sooooo much to talk about.

Jef: Haha I know.

Just jump in?

Anupa: Should there be some structure to this?

Jef: Naw fuck it.

Anupa: Lol it’s gonna be a clusterfahk.

Jef: Yeah man.

APPROPRIATELY SO

Let me ask first

How much reading/discussing have you done since watching?

What’s the general consensus?

Anupa: Mostly womp womps all around.

Jef: Lol well make that three womps.

My initial reaction was great, now anyone who googles me can read me saying I have faith in the finale and can accurately conclude that I am an idiot.

THANKS DARLTON.

Anupa: Hahahaha… bigger than that…anyone can google us and find we wasted all that time watching/interrobanging this final, WUTLESS season.

Jef: Hahah

My thing is though, there was good stuff, in the season, and even in the finale.

Which makes the copout at the end even more craaaappppy.

Like it really made me feel like shit after.

I’m not sure what to call this new feeling I had.

I’ll call it shit.

Anupa: No, I know.

I had the exact same feeling it’s called LET DOWN.

Jef: At least have the courtesy to just suck all around then.

Anupa: Like, after it happened me and Rehana were like what the fuck and then tried to forget all about it.

Jef: Honestly man I even spent the next day thinking about all the shit I DID like about this episode.

And then came up with some excuses for the writers on some of the shit I didn’t.

And even after all that, the scales STILL tilted toward shitty.

Anupa: I mean, could you basically sum it up as “…oh?”

I dreaded this interrobang to tell the truth.

Jef: I knowwww.

I thought this was going to be this joyous occasion full of remembrance and stuff.

And now it’s a bitch fest.

Anupa: Let’s start with something overarching… looking back, can you conclusively say the season as a whole sucked?

Jef: I thought about it and the island stuff I’m still alright with.

There were burps and mysteries left dangling and useless developments, but overall, I’m still cool with what happened on the island.

And Jack’s eye-close is still a monster of an ending.

But the sideways flash?

My main thing is that I wanted the series to end on CHARACTER.

And I feel like an asshole now because it DID.

But it did it in the laziest fucking way possible.

Anupa: What feels so bad for me, is that I hate that whole last scene… where Jack is in the church talking to his dad then he goes out and everyone is there and la di da. Like, it makes me so mad to think of it: a) because it makes sense when you think about it, but I don’t think it was explained well enough and relied more on audience sentiment as opposed to anything else, and b) because it completely took me off guard… did we not just spend the majority of six seasons dealing with sci-fi stuff? And we’re gonna end with a scene from Touched By An Angel?

Where Della Reese at?

Like, it didn’t do the INTELLIGENCE of the show justice at all.

That’s my position and I’m sticking with it.

It was pretty much heartbreakingly disappointing.

Jef: Yeah I felt like I got BSGed again with another Christian allegory. Thinking about it later I was like, ok EVEN IF they wanted to go out like that, even if I’m NICE and give them that because I knew from jump one of their main touchstones has been a dude named Christian Sheppard, even THEN…..the best they have is an ending where a guy appears out of nowhere and has to EXPLAIN IT to us?

That’s really the best they got?

Anupa: It felt tres lazy.

Jef: Ugh.

Anupa: Did you get it at first though?

Because I feel really dumb… maybe I was just blindsided, but I was like… huh?

Jef: Hahaha

No yeah I got it. And that’s what made me angry. Right when Jack ended up in the multi-faith church I was like FUCK YOOOU.

Anupa: Hahahhaha I know. NON-DENOMINASHUNAL.

Jef: Also: fuck that multi-faith church!!!!

You cannot throw me a shoutout by putting a ying-yang on the stain glass and think that’s not gonna make me realize this ends with SOULS in HEAVEN.

Anupa: Did it feel more like the conclusion of a season than the conclusion of a series?

Jef: I did feel like it ended the series.

I didn’t like the ending, but there was a lot of stuff in it that’s supported by stuff as early as season one. So yeah.

Anupa: I mean, I understand the season one unifier yes… but I feel like the BIG resolution, the BIG ending came with the crossing over shit… and that timeline was only revealed this season.

I mean, I guess they paced it like that, but like you said… sideways reality is angering.

Jef: It’s angering because it’s some magic-show misdirection shit.

There’s SO MUCH in that reality that DOESN’T support it being some sort of stopover city before you fly to heaven.

Anupa: It feels almost like a “gotcha” timeline.

Jef: Yeah, it wasn’t a reveal. It was a copout.

Anupa: Why introduce the son? Why make the mother Juliet?

Why did Faraday have to wear that stupid hat?

He looked like a trenchcoat mafia hipster.

Jef: Exactly. So much of that shit I don’t even wanna get into. Like really, Desmond’s mission was to wake everyone up to being dead? When he first travelled sideways and told Widmore, “I understand,” THAT’s what he understood????

Hahaha

Let’s touch on Faraday a bit later.

Wanna start with the main characters?

Anupa: Sure.

Jef: How’d you feel about the resolution of Jack vs. Smokey? And Jack’s ending in general?

Anupa: Man, that one shot of them coming at each other.

I mean… I don’t know, you know I hated the light and then how the hole had to be physically blocked…

Like, without getting lost in the details that I hated, I can say that keeping with the whole Locke/Jack arc I liked how it ended.

I liked the faceoff between the two. I am glad that Locke died in a very real way. I’m glad Jack went out a hero because we knew he would.

I don’t get why when MIB’s dead body went down into the light he came out smoke, but it didn’t happen to anyone else. And obvi I liked the eye close with Vincent (!)

I mean, yeah, it was in keeping with everything, with some holes, but mostly in keeping.

But I would’ve felt better had that been the ending.

Jef: Haha ending on Vincent would have saved the show.

Anupa: My fav scene was stumbling upon Rose and Bernard in the jungle with Vincent.

I think those three have been my fav characters.

Jef: I think having no one else turn into a smoke monster works for me. I do believe ‘the light’ was crazy corrupted by touching Smokes, which drives home whatever darkness that dude had in his heart. It makes him more special and shit.

Anupa: Did he have darkness in his heart? Tell me, what was bad about Jacob in that origins story we got?

Jef: Yeah that’s the thing, I’m cool with the concept of it. I’m not cool with the execution of it.

And the whole unplugging/plugging-back-in thing was weirdly basic. The writers even basically have Juliette make fun of it by having Sawyer do the same with the vending machine.

But like: I don’t want cutesy meta jokes about how the episode I am CURRENTLY WATCHING is mad basic.

Anupa: I know, we are past meta, we are past Hurley stating the obvious.

Jef: And back to what we were saying, I get that Smokey should be special in the opposite way that Locke and eventually Jack are special.

But ugh, I can’t even talk about that because you’re right. In the end it just didn’t sell.

Here’s the thing: for a show about choices and shades of character grey, in the end the good/evil line fell pretty hard on some people.

MIB = evil

Anupa: ….it deals very much in b&w?

Jef: And there were mad people who didn’t make it to heaven.

Anupa: Why was Aaron a baby?

Jef: Hahahahha for no reason.

GAH.

Ok next character?

Here’s a strange thing:

I kinda liked Kate’s island ending.

Her whole “I saved a bullet” for you thing worked for me, and I liked that she followed Jack YET AGAIN and it paid off. Kate. Following. Guns. Bloaw, she offs the Smokey.

There was this scene waaaay back in season one when they were opening the hatch

And Jack says to Kate, “after we open this hatch, if we survive, we’re gonna have a Locke problem. And I need to know you’re gonna have my back.”

And she’s like, “I got your back homie.”

So that was nice.

It played out.

Anupa: You have a good memory.

Jef: Haha

Anupa: But yes, I was satisfied with Kate as well… her arc played out true to form and she got her closure with Claire.

Jef: I remember because “We’re gonna have a Locke problem” is one of my favourite lines.

Anupa: Tattoo it on your body!

Jef: (And oh they DID have a Locke problem!)

Haha but dude, in sideways purgatory

Her awakening was looking into Claire’s vag???

First off, HILARIOUS.

Anupa: HAHAHAHAHA

Jef: Second, that would be MY awakening.

How’d you feel about her “I love you” with Jack?

Anupa: EWWWW

You’re so gross!

THE FAHK MAN!

Jef: (LOL)

Anupa: UGH!

Jef: But yeah yo, Kate and Jack’s love — did it feel out of the blue for you?

Anupa: Hang on, I need a minute!

Jef: K

Anupa: I know we’re friends, but cahmon!

I’m not your broski.

Jef: LOOOL

Take as long as you need.

There is no “now” here.

Anupa: LOL

Okay, no it didn’t feel out of the blue. They were always meant to hook up…. it just never worked out for them.

On island, Kate was too sketched out and tempted by Sawyer… off island Jack was fucked up.

Jef: Haha true, Jack is so not a catch off island.

I liked it, I felt it sorta, but still, it woulda been nice if Jack and Kate had ANY meaningful scenes sometime during this season.

If they did, I can’t remember any. The wound stitching I guesssss.

You know?

And also, Kate couldn’t fully wake him up in sideways mindfuck land.

Psh, some soulmate. I’m just saying.

Anupa: Haha but dude, it was all about what gave them purpose and what really fucked with them.

For Kate it was Aaron being born.

For Jack it was knowing what happened to his father.

Jef: Haha no yeah you’re right.

It’s just funny to watch all these star-crossed lovers getting their reunion flashback moments

And then Kate comes up to Jack and all she gets is nothing.

That could hurt someone’s self esteem you know!

Anupa: How’d you feel about Shannon and Boone?

Also, I kinda refuse to believe that Shannon was it for Sayid… like he was willing to fuck over so many people to get to Nadia/get revenge for Nadia.

Jef: That’s true!

And also, sucks for Boone that he gets no awakening scene. Because really, what was the Big Moment for him?

Going to work for Locke?

Anupa: I know… hahahah plot device.

Jef: LOL his time on the island sucked pretty much.

His sister wouldn’t kiss him and then he died.

Anupa: EW

What about Sawyer?

How do you feel about that?

I will say I CRIED when him and Juliet reunited.

That was my shit.

Jef: YES. That was the only awakening where I got emo.

Juliet sold the shiiiit out of that.

Anupa: Okay wait hang on hang on:

Basically when we saw Juliet die… that was the same moment… she was flickering between “crossing over” and being in reality?

Jef: You talking about the white flash?

Anupa: No, when she said to Sawyer “we’ll go dutch” the first time we saw it.

Jef: Oh no yeah that was bullshit.

That was such a red herring.

But yeah, I guess she caught a glimpse of the future in which they would all die, I dunno.

When she said “It worked,” like what? What worked?

I guess she THOUGHT the purgatory she was seeing was actually a second reality? Just like we did?

Anupa: HUH?

THE VENDING MACHINE WORKED

OHHHH

Jef: Hahaha you think?

Anupa: I think.

I think she was having her re-awakening moment then.

Jef: Hahahah you are right. Oh man, her dying words are about a candy machine.

Anupa: I mean, the sideways timeline maybe happens within the blink of an eye.

Fuck this is stupid.

Jef: Well yeah, there’s no time there.

Anupa: I hate that I’m talking about this.

Jef: Hahahahha ok yeah let’s not give them the satisfaction of trying to figure that out.

Because likely they don’t even know themselves.

You mentioned Sawyer –

My thing with how Sawyer’s story ended is this larger problem I had with the finale in general.

He didn’t do anything!

I expected the final mission of killing the Smoke Monster and saving the island to be this big team ordeal tying together everyone’s skills and core characteristics and shit.

So yeah, Kate’s part was good, as was Jack’s.

But I wanted Sawyer to pull a con on Smokes.

I wanted them to need Miles to talk to the dead.

Lapidus flew the plane, okay, but what about everyone else with cool skills you know?

Anupa: Richard’s skills failed (not-aging skills).

Even Hurley’s eating and/or humor skills could’ve been put to use.

Instead he cried like five million times, WHICH BROKE MY HEART EVERY SINGLE TIME.

Jef: Haha yeah he’s a sad puppy.

Okay yeah: Hurley as the island guardian!

That was a curveball. It was almost too much of a curveball. I liked it. But the writers didn’t really earn that I don’t think.

Anupa: It was too much of a curveball.

Why Hurley? Like I don’t get it.

Is it because the bird yelled his name?

Jef: That bird knew everything!

I mean, I feel it on a certain level.

Hurley’s cool, he’s nice, it’s a good way to break the pattern.

He’s Mexican and bashful, which breaks the white-saviour complex cycle.

But like yeah the overall feeling is still HUUUH?

Anupa: Yeah, that’s how I feel.

Like, oh, nice.

But, to quote Scooby Doo, “Arrooo?”

And his patna was Ben… who confuses me so much, was he bad or good? He baited out Widmore and co. so that Smokey wouldn’t kill him but then he switched allegiances, yet again.

Jef: Yeah I still feel it’s messed that a mass murderer like Ben gets a chance to go into the light (even though he doesn’t take it), whereas someone like Michael is damned for eternity.

At least Mike was driven by his love for his son. Ben was mostly driven by ambition and just straight up neediness.

Anupa: But he was a nice guy during his sideways timeline.

Jef: Well shit, like I’m sure Michael would be a nice guy too in fantasy no-issues land, if his soul wasn’t stuck on the island.

I think I’m just salty I didn’t get my Waaaalt moment lol.

Anupa: My head hurts.

To be continued…

"But it turned out that the call was coming from INSIDE THE HOUSE!"

Knowing that the ingredients for a good LOST episode is a healthy mix of “!!” and “??” Jef and Anupa will be interrobanging the show’s final season every week. As LOST winds down to its conclusion, can its creators dish out all the needed explanations without resorting to exposition? Can they keep up the mystery without succumbing to just more mindfuckery?

This was it. “What They Died For” was the last “set up episode” of Lost we’ll ever sit through, and it set some shit up! Last week we got the back story, this week those ideas were applied to actions and during the finale this Sunday, we’ll see how it all plays out. We’re down to the Oceanic Four: Kate, Jack, Sawyer and Hurley, finally powwow-ing with Jacob, being given the tools to fight off Smocke. And on the other side of the island, Ben and Smocke are traipsing through the jungle, on the search for Desmond—the fail-safe. Off-island, all signs point to most of our pals converging at a museum benefit concert. What does the finale promise? Two full-cast showdowns happening in two different realities. This is gonna be redonk, guys. In the meantime, tally ho! (Do I really need to warn for spoilers?) SIGH. SPOILERSSZ.

Jef: I’m actually kind of sad

This is our PENULTIMATE interrobang

Everyone kept saying penultimate all week.

Anupa: yeah, OMG, I can make plans next Tuesday night! But we won’t have our weekly chats, where we catch up on each other’s lives and generally enjoy each other’s company online.

Can I advocate a theory?

Jef: Go

Anupa: I actually think this is hole-proof: so in the first episode we saw the island underwater and now we know Smokey can’t get off or things will be fucked so they gotta kill him.

So what if they sink the island…TO PUT OUT THE SMOKE?

Jef: I feel you!

In this episode when Ben asked Smoke why he walks, he answered because he likes the feel of grass between his toes or something

(Good moment!)

But I was like: BUT WHY DO YOU LIKE ROWING BOATS, SMOKE?

WHY DO YOU LIKE ROWING BOATS?

Anupa: EXACTLY.

Jef: So yeah maybe you’re right.

Water.

Haha that would be mad Shyamalan Signs

Anupa: It would be so perfectly logical.

HAHAHAHAH IT WOULD BE

That movie was really shit.

Jef: It really was!

Anupa: Okay well now that I feel we solved it, I have nothing more to discuss.

Jef: K thanks bye guys.

Ok let’s start back at jump: we start with Jack looking at his neck hole

It’s funny that we’ve come to the point that this show is already mirroring what happened just 15 episodes ago or whatever.

If it went to season 7 each episode would just mirror the last, until the scenes are just exactly the same.

Anupa: LOL

Jef: I still don’t get the wound though!

Anupa: Me neither. I feel like these things are details that will hopefully get explained away.

Jef: Oh yeah, I’m sure it’s tied to whatever happens to Jack in the finale.

Which maybe means VAMPIRES.

Aha imagine?

Anupa: Robert Pattinson cameo!

*swoon*

Jef: Stop swooning for him! It devalues your other swoons.

Anupa: Speaking of swoons, and people who have worked with Robert Pattinson, last week’s episode threw me off and I was confused when Claire walked into Jack’s dining room. The flow was really disrupted with that mythology episode last week eh?

Jef: Oh word, yes. Yeah I had a hard time placing where everyone was.

Anupa: (Also roomie remarked that Claire was cute as a button in this scene).

Jef: Like…what happened to crazy island Claire? Not that she had to be in this episode, but her absence was jarring.

Roomie gets a hi-five

Anupa: She is with Locke, on the docke

Jef: Oh and speaking of the randoms

I cannot fucking believe Miles made it to the finale! That is so awesome.

Anupa: HAHHAHA and he’s still shifty and awesome

He’s gotten by on oneliners

Jef: Haha yeah one-liners and generall ducking.

He’s always “Wha? Peace I’m out.”

Anupa: The comment he made about living on the island before Ben (“yeah, like last week”) was both funny and interesting

Jef: Yeah guy, it’s been one week?

Anupa: What’s the timeline been? It hasn’t literally been a week right?

Jef: That’s crazy.

It could be though, yeah! They haven’t really done much when you think about it. Just escaped from a temple and saw a lighthouse and shit.

(And died.)

Anupa: This show really needs to be watched nonstop, as you subsist on Cheetos and Coke and stay up super late and wake up super early anyway to keep watching.

Jef: I’m saying

I still can’t believe how y’all watched this one ep a week for six years. (For those who don’t know, I marathoned through seasons 1-5 on DVD right before this season’s premiere).

Anupa: So Miles took off, Richard wanted to be diplomatic and got shoved, and Ben baited out Widdy and Liz Lemon

Jef: Haha man that Richard-shove was so embarassing. Like, we’ve all seen that happen or been that dude.

Anupa: What do you think Ben’s deal is?

Jef: Ben is back to being BEN, which I love

He’s got something up his sleeve for sure.

And I loved loved loved the way he murked Widmore.

Anupa: YEAH

I’d venture to say that shit was gully.

Jef: It’s true. Gully is back, and it’s Ben Linus

Anupa: You know what’s even more amazing?

That Ben shot a person, but was also so honourable in this episode

God, if there’s any reason to advocate for the sideways timeline being the “better” version of their lives, Ben is the prime example

He’s so different

Jef: Yeah, he was both. It’s been a great journey with dude; remember when he was just this big mystery? This ep was good for just showing Ben at 100 per cent, a cold-ass murderer but also a big teddy bear.

Dude, what happened to Miles?

Wasn’t he is the secret room with Widdy and Mz. Lemon?

Anupa: No he ran off remember?

Ben gave him the walkie talkie

Jef: Ahh word

Shit, he’s all alone.

Haha he’s gonna die, isn’t he?

Anupa: Dude, he’ll prob just grab the outrigger and bail.

Jef: Prob after pulling a ghost-whisperer last act save or something, but yeah right?

Haha that would be awesome.

Anupa: You’re projecting your Asian hopes and dreams onto Miles

Jef: Shit, can’t a dude just like Miles because he’s awesome?

*gets uppity*

Anupa: He’s awesome because he’d so bail

LOL NOOO you said UPPITY!!

Jef: Wanna jump to LA for a bit?

You got your wish. You saw Rousseau all fresh and clean.

Anupa: That made me happy :)

I love me some Rousseau.

Jef: “Even if we have to kidnap you”

womp womp

Anupa: Haha i know right.

Do you think her and Ben will hook up?

Jef: Yes! I wanted them to do that white middle-aged kitchen kiss that happens in every movie.

I felt the chem!

Anupa: LOL I can’t visualize what you’re talking about BUT I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN.

Jef: Yeah don’t ask me for an example. But it happens!

Anupa: Jesus this episode was piecey as hell eh?

Dez wanted to help Locke “let go” and in the process forced Ben to have visions of the timeline-as-we-know-it. He then went and turned himself into the police for running over Locke and beating up Ben and ended up in the same holding cell as Sayid and Kate at the same prison as Sawyer and Miles, who are later going to a concert at Miles’ dad’s museum.

On their way to county, Dez breaks Kate and Sayid out with the help of Hurley (and Ana Lucia). Those four are also headed to the concert. The concert is also where Jack is supposed to be heading, after he meets with Locke who is now convinced he needs to “let go.” Jack is going there because his son is playing piano. His babymoms will also be there (I’m thinking Juliet).

Jef: Sidenote: Dez has been walking around match-making and hitting people with cars. It’s funny that this whole time he really could have just been punching people in the face.

Anupa: I know right? Talk about unnecessary force.

What do you think is going to happen? And what role does Dez play in all of this?

Jef: Shit, all that and I have no answer for you.

Which I LOVE.

I have no idea what’s going on.

Anupa: It’s played out quite beautifully

Jef: It has, definitely. And it feels good, I’ve been riding for them but also nervous that they’ll drop the ball regardless.

But I am so ready for the finale.

Anupa: LOL it feels like the ending of White Teeth!! Hopefully something stupid with a mouse doesn’t happen to fuck it all up!

Jef: HAHAHAHAHA

Anupa: Where the Chalfens at?

Jef: The end.

I just want to throw in there that I don’t care what anyone says, Michelle Rodriguez is my girrrrl

Anupa: Yo, she’s fine as hell. And crazy. I love that. If I were a lesbian, I’d pursue her.

Jef: Those multi-r’s look mad stupid but I’m sticking to them—all of them

YES THANK YOU.

And I do not care one bit that she always plays the same role.

It’s a fucking fantastic role, and more people should use it!

Anupa: She is the consummate tough Latina chick, the hardened little sister of three cholos. Who plays on the side of the good guys, but turns an eye to her sibling’s

trangressions because it’s family first.

Jef: LOL. Yeah whatever she is, I’d like a piece of it.

Anupa: Okay, I have a question: Jacob needs to find a replacement because Smokey’s figured out a way to kill him and therefore get off the island, but….Jacob’s been dead for like, a while now

Jef: A week!

Anupa: Okay, so what? Magic applies only some of the time? Like, if the guy is dead can’t he leave?

What I’m trying to say is this: Jacob’s had like millions of years or whatever it is to find a replacement, but he slacked and got himself killed

Jef: Ahahhahah

Anupa: He shouldn’t get an extension on finding a replacement! It’s too late! HE DEAD.

Jef: I don’t think he slacked though (though judging by his eyebags, yes. He did.)

I kinda just thought he’s been bringing people there for years and they’ve all been shitheads

Anupa: Yeah I get that. But now he’s dead, so doesn’t that mean Smoke wins?

Like I don’t get the lag time.

Jef: I don’t think Smokes can leave until all the candidates are dead.

You know?

Anupa: OH

:(

[Note: later on, we came to the extremely late realization that Jacob fully dies once his ashes are burned. Hence, Smocke kicking his body into the fire after Ben did the deed, Ilana gathering up the ashes (and there's the reason she exists in the first place!) and Hurley taking the ashes from dead-Ilana's tent. It's a stupid-ass loophole but whatever.]

Jef: No but hold up, here was my other thing:

Because I thought the cave scrawls were magical—if Jacob scratches you off, you didn’t count anymore, so the ones left were the ones Smokes had to murder.

BUT he told Kate it “was just a line of chalk in a cave.”

So I dunno how the candidates are magical at all, at least until they drink the moonshine.

But yeah, regardless. I’m sure the game is Smokes can’t leave until they’re dead.

Anupa: The look on Jack’s face when he drank the river water was super hilar

Jef: LOL yeah he gave Jacob the gas face after

Anupa: !!! I love the gas face

Jef: “You’re like me now.” Which I assume means high as hell.

Anupa: Watch, next week Jack’s gonna be all heavy-lidded too

Jef: Dude I will die.

Anupa: And that’s why Dharma keeps getting food drops!

Jef: LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL

Anupa: To sustain Jacob’s munchies

Jef: STOPPP

HAHAHAHAHAH

Anupa: Sorry ahahahhahahahhaha

Jef: *five minute break for laughter*

All Smokey wants is to get away from centuries of stoner talk

Jef: Did you see that photoshop job of Smokey and Jacob where it says “Fucking magnets? How do they work?”

And it’s the dagger stuck to the well?

Anupa: Hahah no! I wish I did though!

Jef: That’s the whole show, right there.

Anupa: Again, the end.

Jef: Ok but yo:

I was thrown for a loop this episode

I was really sure that Jack would end up not taking the job!

He’s the island guardian! This is big! It’s been building to that for 6 years, but still. BIG.

Anupa: Okay, BUT did you really think any of the others wanted it?

Jack was the only logical choice for the job and he knew it. You could tell by the look’s on the other’s faces:

Sawyer? PSH. Kate? Nope. Hurley? No way dude.

And we knew it had to be a Jack v Locke showdown

Jef: Imagine someone else put their hand up? Jacob would be like “ehhhhhhh really?”

“I dunno Kate, it’s a lot of hours, and it’s hard work…”

Anupa: Hahah word. So Locke has to kill all of them…. he’s looking for Dez who is now apparently the key to everything

And magical Jack et al are setting up to kill Locke

Jef: Yup, and sideways Jack and Locke have just cemented their bromance.

Anupa: So what’s gonna happen?

Your thoughts?

Jef: They’re both “letting go”

Anupa: OOH

Jack letting go in our timeline, Locke letting go in the other one?

Jef: Both!

They’ve met in the middle sorta

Anupa: Do you think that perhaps this process of letting go might permeate through to Locke’s now reanimated body?

And affect something to do with Smokey?

Jef: Honestly, I’m not sure what to expect.

But I expect big things from Jack, Jack 2.0, Locke, Dez, and an assist from Miles

That’s my play.

Oh and waaaaaalt?

Lowercase w because I am not so sure.

Anupa: JESUS, YES. PLEASE LET WALT SHOW.

OMG, WAIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What was Michael? An artist right? Think he’ll show up at the museum?

AVEC WALT?

Jef: Was he?

If so, DOPE.

Anupa: Yeah dude, remember? But he had to work construction because life is rough for an artist with a kid.

Jef: True! And speaking of the museum, I’m also looking to Farraday to play a part as well.

Shit, I’m hyped.

Anupa: TRUE SAY.

Jef: Aside from Walt, is there any other return you want to happen?

Def Juliet with the going-dutch coffee.

Anupa: Penny.

Jef: Word.

Shannon?

Anupa: Meh

Jef: lol

Anupa: FUCKING VINCENT!

Jef: chomp chomp

Anupa: They just wrote him off the show

Jef: He might be dead. They’re gonna need facsimiles Lassie-style

Anupa: To be honest, when Ben, Richard and Miles were in Ben’s closet and then they heard a noise and came out… I was hoping it was Vincent snuffling around in that cupboard. You can ask my roomie; I yelled VINCENT!

Jef: I’m sure he’ll get a cameo

If there’s one thing Lost loves, it’s referencing itself. I expect it to go nuts for 2 and a half.

Ok, any final words?

Anupa: I’m rooting for the alternate timeline, because Alex needs a dad

Jef: “He doesn’t get to save his daughter.” BLAOW.

I’m not fully sure anymore, but I still think a blend is coming.

But after this week, I’m totally not surprised if they go somewhere else.

Anupa: They’ve rendered us basically useless in terms of guessing where this is gonna go

Jef: They have!

Anupa: Which is the best set-up for a finale in all reality.

We are literally expectation-free.

Jef: We are.

We’ve let go, Anupa.

Anupa: OG

*OMG

"Here, drink this. Idiot."

Knowing that the ingredients for a good LOST episode is a healthy mix of “!!” and “??” Jef and Anupa will be interrobanging the show’s final season every week. As LOST winds down to its conclusion, can its creators dish out all the needed explanations without resorting to exposition? Can they keep up the mystery without succumbing to just more mindfuckery?

MAYBE. After watching this episode I had to sit and stew for a bit. I downed a couple Tylenols to fix my headache and then did a big load of laundry. I put my clothes in the dryer but forgot to empty the lint tray for like the millionth time in a row, and then I was like damn I coulda burned down the house. I mulled about this for awhile, thought about how I lack a general mindfulness in most of my daily tasks. Then I made some toast with PB and waited for Anupa to log on. I felt OK about stuff in general. Life. And then all of sudden, which is how memory works you know, it hit me again. THE LIGHT. And then I got all angry and confused again, and everything was just one giant hatch. Hatches everywhere. Hatch hatch hatch, full of lint. Anywhooz. What was I talking about again, Mother? Oh yeah. SPOILERS: 

Jef: Go for it

It’s all you!

Anupa: You know what really grinds my gears?

BAD CGI.

Jef: Haha don’t tell me that’s your big gripe here.

Anupa: It makes up a significant portion of my gripe.

That and the wannabe LOTR storyline.

When Jacob and You Know Who were peeking through the bushes, I almost thought those dudes were Orcs.

I’m mixing mythologies, threw a little Harry Potter in there.

You know me, I get hung up on the small things.

But really? I liked LOST when it was cool and scientific, not when it was lame and fantasy RPG.

They lost me at “the light.”

Jef: I dig the sci-fi over the fantasy as well, but to be fair, it’s been playing at both for a long-ass time.

I didn’t get the LOTR feel so much — I’m like maybe the only person who doesn’t care about those movies — but yeah it had some fantastical Young-Adult Bridge to Terabithia shit going on.

Which makes sense though — it’s the one genre that the show hasn’t delved into yet, and also one of the more obvious ones to delve into if you’re doing a Strange Island story.

The light tunnel was corny.

But I feel good about it for this reason: it’s out of the way!

Like thank God this story wasn’t in the finale.

Anupa: Like honestly, this is turning into the kind of show I wouldn’t watch if it was like this from the beginning.

I mean you’re right I suppose, that at least I wouldn’t have to experience that shiteous feeling during a two and a half hour finale.

And it’s not that the story itself wasn’t intriguing or not explanatory or whatever, because it was.

And I think a lot clicked into place for everyone through watching it.

I.E. the beginning of the good/bad, us/them patterns.

And obviously the dynamic and mythology of Jacob/other guy.

But, I just feel all…sigh… about it

I guess this is the time to divulge that I’ve never been as invested in a show from start to finish so maybe this is normal?

Jef: Normal for what?

Watching a show?

Anupa: That show endings veer wildly off track.

lol

Jef: To be honest though, this isn’t wildly off track.

It’s kind of ghey.

But it’s exactly what it’s been building up to, and to be fair, it’s NOT the ending.

Which is something I really liked about it.

Now the show can go forward and end on the characters.

Anupa: K well that’s what I mean.

Maybe this feeling comes from the fact that the emphasis has been taken off the fate of our characters for the past couple episodes.

I don’t know what to believe anymore!

Jef: Haha

I am maybe sympathizing with the writers too much, but this is the situation that they’re in — everybody says they want ANSWERS, but when the writers give the answers we realize we didn’t really just want answers at all, we wanted story.

That’s the mistake most finales make, giving in to that.

So I give them props here for getting that shit out of the way.

It’s true, the characters have been put on the backburner for a bit, but like I was saying before — and this is why I have faith in the finale — the end episode is pretty much a feature length movie.

A movie that DOESN’T need to explain Jacob and Smokey.

Not sure if I’m making sense.

Anupa: No it makes sense.

They’re getting backstory out of the way to make room.

I mean, I kind of have faith they’ll deliver.

The type of following this show has created is strange; they need to bow a little.

Maybe that’s a bold statement though.

Jef: The writers should take a bow you mean?

Anupa: No, they need to bow to us a little and give us something satisfying.

Wanna talk specifics?

Jef: OK yeah let’s talk specifics — because as much as the ep as a whole was hokey, some decent stuff happened.

So, yeah. Brothers.

Anupa: BROTHA

Consciously speakin’, the fake mom scared the crap outta me.

Jef: Yeah yo she was mad menacing.

I was flashbacking to all the times you said maybe Jacob wasn’t good and maybe Smokey wasn’t bad

Anupa: I KNOW!

Jef: And here, it certainly kinda felt like the mom just fucking duped Jacob into the job because she wanted to die.

“Thank you,” she says to Smokey. Whadda bitch.

Anupa: LOL she was tooootally forcing him.

I was like, WALK AWAY.

I wish he yelled “DON’T TELL ME WHAT I CAN DO.”

Jef: Haha

Which is all great though, because I think it’s a fair guess to say Jack probably WON’T inherit the island now.

This might end on a “fuck youse two guys” note, which would be great.

Maybe they’ll just break the cycle. And go live their lives in reality 2 or whatever.

Anupa: ‘splain

Jef: Oh I mean — talking about how they showed the job of guarding the island isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. Sure, Jacob is a good guy and Smokey is menacing, but the job itself was passed on by some psycho chick.

Who, it’s implied, used her own trickery to break the rules and die and pass the job cuz she ain’t want it anymore.

Anupa: Is she really psycho though if that light shit exists?

I mean, it would be one thing if it didn’t exist and there was nothing there, etc

Wait, I think I missed all that #stoopid

How did she break the rules? She forced Jacob to drink the wine?

Jef: I don’t think she could die.

One of them had to do it or something, you know?

Anupa: Was that made explicit?

Also, on a similar topic, how did she make it so they couldn’t do anything to each other?

Jef: It’s the only thing I can get out of her thanking Smokey after he stabs her.

Anupa: Oh, I just took that as, thanks for putting me out of my misery or some shit.

Jef: Well, yeah, EXACTLY.

It was misery.

And yeah I dunno, there’s some mystical mumbo jumbo I think we’re just going to have to deal with.

They can’t break it all down, that would be ridic.

Anupa: Well see, here’s the problem.

It’s all mumbo jumbo midichlorian type shit.

UGH, okay, I’ll stop.

Jef: I don’t think so though.

To EXPLAIN it would be midicholrian type shit.

Anupa: FINE, YOU WIN.

Jef: Ahah I saw the struggle there.

Anupa: Push me down a light hole, why don’t you.

Can I ask you a question related to female grooming?

Jef: LOLWHUT

That is SO NOT WHAT I THOUGHT YOU WERE TYPING.

Anupa: Was she like epilating when she was rubbing that weaving thing over her legs?

Did you catch that?

Jef: Oh no yeah I was all like WTF is she doing??

Anupa: I hope they answer that.

Jef: And God I don’t care that she knits.

Or that Jacob knits.

Anupa: It’s not knitting, that involves two needles.

Jef: Who cares!

Haha it’s the only vocab word I have for it.

Anupa: The other thing that bugged me about that scene is that Jacob is a straight up tattletale.

I hated Jacob in this episode.

Jef: YO.

Anupa: He reminded me of my general dislike for momma’s boys and snitches.

Jef: This is my biggest gripe of the episode for sure:

The guy who plays Jacob sucks.

Anupa: Hahha yeah

I hate his heavy eyelids.

Jef: We’ve made jokes about his casting before, but here it was so clear.

Not only does he look wrong for the part, he can’t pull off this role.

When he was like “Am I good mother? Why do you love him more than me?”

Like shit, do you know what Emmerson or O’Quinn would do with lines like those?

This guy just looked drunk.

Anupa: OMG you know who he reminds me of?

Jef: Whooo

Anupa: This guy: http://www.google.ca/images?hl=en&safe=off&client=firefox-a&hs=Bxi&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&q=dr%20marvin%20monroe%20simpsons&um=1&ie=UTF-8&source=og&sa=N&tab=wi

Jef: Ahah I am pasting that link just like it is in the final edit.

Lol same beard

Anupa: YEAH GUY

Same sleazy, drunky half-open lids, same blond beard.

Jef: LOL

Like forreal though, this guy had like 10 big scenes in this episode, and he didn’t sell any of them.

Anupa: Well maybe that’s the point?

That he’s a pussy.

Jef: It wasn’t even pussy though, it was just wooden acting.

I can deal with a pussy character.

But ok, away from the actor — that scene with lil Jacob and lil Smokes playing the rock game:

It def recalls the Locke/Walt backgammon game.

Is it safe for me to say WAAAAALT?

Anupa: WHYYYY?

Jef: You think they’re building for a Deus Ex Waltina?

Anupa: LOLOL

Mayhaps

I mean, I’m scared to predict anything anymore.

I just hope Vincent is okay.

Jef: I can’t believe nobody ate him yet.

  (says the Filipino)

Anupa: I read that in a Pilipino accent.

Jef: I hope it was a Manny Pacquiao one.

Anupa: But yeah, the game playing totally brought back memories of Locke/Walt playing.

How do you see that playing out?

Jef: And the mom was like “I left it for you,” which further makes me believe she was pulling a con on them the whole time.

 Ugh I have no effing idea.

I still believe the worlds merge…

Maybe it’s Walt who ends up staying behind, not Jack?

But yeah I can’t speculate on any of that.

It’s too far out of hand.

HAHA imagine this ends with Walt reading a comic book?

And it’s called LOST?

And the last page says FUCK YOU, AUDIENCE.

Anupa: LOLOL OMG it would be like that shitty B story from Watchmen.

Jef: LOL PIRATES

Anupa: With the kid and the comic book.

Haha yeah it was totally in the ocean too.

AND THE KID WAS BLACK

OMG

Jef: THAT’S IT FOR SURE THEN

Haha speaking of fuck you audience –

I feel like the flashback at the end to the caves was the writers being all like “OH YEAH YOU SAID WE DIDN’T HAVE A PLAN. WE PLANTED THAT IN THE FIRST SEASON BITCHES.”

Anupa: HAHAHAH

I bet we’ll be seeing a lot of those in the next three and a half hrs.

Lots of spelling out.

Jef: Haha lots of “BOOOYA” moments.

Anupa: God, I don’t even know where to go anymore because this episode was kinda all over the place.

Like, wouldn’t things have been more dramatic if she died the night she made Jacob drink the wine? Instead they have this intense moment then they’re back weaving in their hut the next morning.

“Hey mom, what’s for breakfast?”

“There’s coffee over the fire.”

“Got any eggs?”

Jef: God I hate how he kept calling her mother.

Anupa: “You’re old enough now Jacob, make them yourself!”

“MOTH-ERRRRR”

Sorry

Jef: “Mother. Look at this quilt I made. Do you love it mother?”

Anupa: That was instant fanfic.

Jef: Dude, did you laugh at the beginning

when chick gave birth and then came Smokey and she was like, “I only came up with one name…”

FUCKING COME UP WITH ANOTHER NAME THEN

Anupa: I thought he was gonna be black or something.

Jef: This nameless kid, no wonder he has issues. Smh.

Anupa: Imagine they just gave him no name

And that’s why he has no name?

Jef: Like No Name brand at Loblaws?

Haha forreal, do you think he actually has a name and they’re avoiding it? I don’t see why.

Anupa: THIS is what’s frustrating.

The unnecessary details.

Jef: Lol they hate us.

Anupa: I mean, if we find out they didn’t give him a name for no reason, then I’ll be mad.

I’m hoping there’s a big reveal in the finale, he can be God with a capital G for all I care.

Jef: There’s a reason.

She only came up with one name, duh.

Anupa: LOL

You know what I hated?

And what I thought was kinda shitty writing?

The fact that she had to come back as a ghost and tell kid Smokey what was going on.

And then he just BELIEVED her.

For a kid who has been raised to believe that no other people or things exist, he was pretty gung ho.

Jef: He ain’t scared of no ghosts.

Hm yeah I feel you.

It’s just like ohhhh ok you’re my real mom.

You’re a ghost, but I’ll believe you, because you have dark hair.

Anupa: Which brings me to why did Jacob look mad AngloSaxon and brother look straight up Italian?

Jef: You know, just because blondes are Good and then it’s a sliding scale from there.

Down to Michael, who is just despicable.

WAAAALT

Anupa: FINAL:

I think I was most intrigued by the whole good/bad thing.

So, the kids were good because they were raised on the island, free from corrupt influences correct?

Jef: Yup.

Anupa: How does that trickle down to the characters we know?

Jef: Straight up Eden shit.

Anupa: Considering they’re all coming from off-island?

Jef: Jacob has faith that they can be good of their choices.

Smokey says they’re all naturally corrupt.

Things I liked:

That the yonic light tunnel is both magical but also tied to the magnetic forces on the island — the fantastic and the scientific got collapsed together.

And I like that Smokey is straight up dead. He can take on the form of dead people, so he mostly takes on the form of his dead self. I thought that was dope.

Anupa: FANTIFIC

Jef: I’m finding it hard to give this a final rating.

I kinda hated it, but I also respected the hell out of it.

Anupa: I still don’t understand why you come out a smoke monster if you fall down a hole.

Jef: Because the Yonic Light Tunnel of Life had been corrupted by coming in contact with man

…or something.

Dude I think Smokey IS the light tunnel, but crazy.

That’s the crackling in the smoke.

Anupa: SNAP

Jef: Ok maybe now I’m bullshitting really hard.

He’s both combined!

And he must be stopped!

Anupa: Must he?

I don’t think he’s that bad no more.

Jef: Uhm he just blew everybody up!

You have Stockholm Syndrome.

Locke's getting straight Rumplestiltskin on us

Knowing that the ingredients for a good LOST episode is a healthy mix of “!!” and “??” Jef and Anupa will be interrobanging the show’s final season every week. As LOST winds down to its conclusion, can its creators dish out all the needed explanations without resorting to exposition? Can they keep up the mystery without succumbing to just more mindfuckery?

Two weeks ago, we felt like the pawns were being put into place for the finale and we got an awesome reunion between Jin and Sun. In this week’s “The Candidate” I’m not really sure what happened because I’m numb from the pain. Join me in numbsville, below the jump (where spoilers also lie):

Anupa: I feel we should start on a central point, instead of just linearly

Jef: Like, start on DEATH?
DEATH DEATH DEATH

Anupa: scream it like a metal singer
deaaaaaaaaaoooooooooooth
okay, whose death made you the saddest?

Jef: Jin and Sun no doubt, as a couple
The reunion last episode was so lightweight too

Anupa: everything is lightweight!!!
this show is losing its emotional immediacy
i’m not connecting in a way that makes me feel invested

Jef: Word? I was going to say their deaths were done real well

Anupa: you don’t mean that, really?

Jef: I do.

Anupa: okay well, what about the deaths did you like?

Jef: I feel you on the point of saying that Jin and Sun have been pushed to background characters — and Sun specifically has been downgraded (as all the women have like I was on about before)
But that aside, they died real good.

Anupa: I just feel like it lost so much because Sayid also died and vice versa wrt his death, and Lapidus too to a lesser extent

Jef: Aha Lapidus
He’ll be back.
Someone has to fly the plane!
We’re on opposite sides, I liked Sayid’s death too

Anupa: They’re not leaving the island

Jef: Haha no you’re right, he’s dead.

Anupa: GOD, how could you like them killing the only people of colour in one sweep of a wave?!

Jef: Well now hold up

Anupa: why can’t they kill kate?
No one likes her!

Jef: HAHA

Anupa: people like Sayid, even if he was a zombie

Jef: I’m of two minds on this:
OF COURSE I’m upset they offed all the minorities. You know how I am.
Especially that they did it all same episode, which was just kind of tacky
But at the same time, these characters have to die;
We started off with two central stories: Jack vs. Locke as leaders, and the love triangle between Jack/Sawyer/Kate
So I mean, this was gonna happen in one way or another
Sayid started as the lone wolf and he went out that way, it was heroic. I liked it.

Anupa: You would, comic book guy!

Jef: Are you calling me fat?
OMG I’m fat.

Anupa: Hey, nice ponytail and large balding spot with hair on the sides.

Jef: LOL
Feel me though: Sayid’s death flipped so much

Anupa: You know what I think it was? I think it was the flipfloppyness of the episode. I think if I were them I’d be a neurotic mess by now. “WE CAN NEVER DO ANYTHING RIGHT”
First we have to go the other island, but oh now they’ve captured us, and then we have to go to the plane anyway but BOOP there’s a bomb on it, and now let’s go to the sub, oh wait this is where the real bomb is at.
I’d volunteer to run with the bomb too
Sayid’s death wasn’t heroic, he just couldn’t take it anymore!

Jef: Lol
I mean I feel you on the comedic level
But really, here’s the guy who was constantly struggling with killing people. He started off on the flight with a white dude side-eying him on some brown stereotype shit. He went out by flipping both this things

Anupa: LOL is it really supposed to be that literal?

Jef: He had a bomb hugged to chest and he was saving people. Not only that — he overcame the zombiness.

Anupa: He’s a suicide bomber, but he’s on our side!

Jef: Naw I’m not saying that’s the literal intent dude
I’m saying it’s nice.
Come on now, half the stuff we say we like about this show has nothing to do with literal intent

Anupa: No, I get what you’re saying
I’m just being a pissant (BAHAHA!)
I mean that was definitely the creator’s intent
And I’m glad Jin and Sun got to go out together. It fits them.

Jef: Tell what you hated about Jin and Sun’s deaths though

Anupa: I mean, i just feel like the episode was shoddy all around, so killing them all like that felt heavy-handed and rushed.
It didn’t do our investment into these characters justice

Jef: Maybe we’re differing because I don’t really see them as dead — I still believe the end game is that the worlds get merged

Anupa: But I don’t feel invested in the other world characters as much
They’re not the same people we’ve come to know. They feel different.
Am I getting space age right now? Did I blow your mind yet?

Jef: haha I thought it was me who was being too space age
Because if their memories and shit bleed over, I don’t really see the difference
They’ll still have had the island experience
Did you dislike the episode overall?
Or just the end part?

Anupa: Totally overall
Like I said, it felt unnecessary

Jef: I thought you would dig the parallel Jack/Locke story

Anupa: It just felt rushed

Jef: Four episodes left!
Haha I did like at the beginning when Widmore said “We haven’t got an hour!!”
If Hurley speaks for the audience, I feel like Widmore often speaks for the writers
…or the writers’ bosses

Anupa: This show has been poorly planned and I would like to file a formal complaint
So wait, Hurley somehow swims his way up with Kate. How sad was it to see him cry?

Jef: Very sad! Was that the first time?
Did he even cry for Libby? Or just get touchy?

Anupa: No, he just gets morose for Libby
He flat out shed tears this time

Jef: Yeah he was ugly sobbing.
I even like Jack’s crying. I didn’t think I was going to.

Anupa: Jack has sexy crying. Those are sexy tears.
If tears could be sexy, they’d sprout from the tearducts of hot men

Jef: I felt his frustration, and I dug that he couldn’t do it in front of everyone else.

Anupa: What’d you make of the Desmond thing?

Jef: Word, so Sayid definitely didn’t kill him.

Anupa: Why do you think Sayid didn’t kill him, but left him in the well to die anyway?

Jef: Desmond was on that “you always have a choice” stuff.
Sayid made his choices, I like. And now that I think about it, it also recalls how Dez did the same for Charlie. They both had to die in the end, but they went out heroes, and of their own decisions, right?

Anupa: Yes, this is true. You are deep
Is that the wine talking?

Jef: Probably.

Anupa: LOL

Jef: Otherwise I’d just be all “Claire!”
OH speaking of Lost crushes
Sun was totally doing it for me this week I have no idea why, and then she fucking died.

Anupa: Maybe she was giving off bitchy vibes, and that made you attracted to her bitchy Koreanness [NOTE: Bitchy Korean women make Jef swoon]

Jef: Maybe. Her “GO!” would totally have made me stay too.
Like meow. NOW I’m staying put.
I said meow.
Yo your boy Bernard was in this episode.
Did you care?

Anupa: It was nice
It would’ve been nice to see Rose. They come as one swirly geriatric pair

Jef: Haha swirly
Dude Bernard felt creepy here
It was funny when he was like “you were flirting with my wife Rose” to Jack
What else did you dislike?

Anupa: Seeing Locke’s dad. That was sad.

Jef: Oh man yeah
That dude’s face was on pause.

Anupa: AHAHAHAH

Jef: Like with Ben’s dad though, it seems like the way these dudes aren’t bad fathers in this world is they’ve become physically disabled
Or you know, dead.

Anupa: You’re onto something, but Christian’s storyline is the same.

Jef: Yeah — the way Jack becomes diff seems to be that he became a father himself
Not that his father did anything differently.
I think I’m just bullshitting here though.
Did you like Terry O’Quinn’s guilt speech?

Anupa: That whole thing was sad, the one genuine emotional point in this show
That shit was crazy, how he basically wanted to torture himself because he was like ‘wtf did i do’?
On a side note, i have to add that every time Helen comes into a scene, I pretty much always have to say “PEG!”

Jef: She is 100 per cent Peggy Bundy to me. Never anything else. I want Locke to rub her tush with a catcher’s mitt.
And yeah man, on island-time Locke is all The World Fucked Me Over and in la-la land he’s all Fuck Me Over, World
If that makes any sense.

Anupa: Did you like how nosy real-time Jack was being? Going to the old age home, etc?

Jef: Yeah I think it shows the other side of Jack, the non-wishy washy side
On the island he’s been the reluctant hero all the time
Here he’s taking charge of the situation from jump
He isn’t worrying whether or not he can save people
he’s just all YO I CAN SAVE YOU

Anupa: I pictured him in a rippling cape
Like, I actually just did

Jef: Arms on hips, sucking in his gut
Ayo what the shit is taking Rich and his team SO LONG?
Everyone crossed the island like 25 times already and they’re still on their way

Anupa: HAAHHa he has no gut you hater
Hay-hay-hay-hayyyter

Jef: Yo guy, episode 1 of this season — he sucking!

Anupa: LOL wait, Richard is supposed to come there?
I think I’ve stopped paying attention to this show. I’m officially just watching to get it over with.

Jef: Yeah, Rich’s plan was to blow up the plane right? Oh wait, maybe it was him who put the bomb there, not Widmore?
LOL dude.

Anupa: NO but then Ilana blew up and then did that change plans? I’m confused

Jef: You had one week off and your whole face changed on this!

Anupa: I know
They lost me
GET IT?
LOST????????

Jef: You’ve been reading recaps haven’t you.
But nevermind, fuck other recaps!
It’s just strange to me — I wouldn’t tell someone to not be mad at this show. But to get mad at it over this particular episode? You gotta break it down further for me.

Anupa: What more can I sayyyyyy?

Jef: So it was mostly the deaths?

Anupa: I made two lame pseudo-Jay-Z references within a couple of minutes. I rule.
It wasn’t the deaths

Jef: Gotta learn to live with regrets.

Anupa: Touche.
It was the zigging and the zagging and the plans changing and the cages then the plane then the sub

Jef: But yo didn’t we want the pace to quicken?

Anupa: Not nonsensically
I just feel like they could have cut out some of that

Jef: One thing I’ll say about the cages is: KATE YOU CAN GET OUT THROUGH THE TOP

Anupa: Like too much is happening in such a small span of time. I liked when she was reaching for the keys. Why is it when anyone tries to do soemthing like that, their tongue automatically sticks out a bit?

Jef: Ya people always Mike Jordan it.
Haha I wonder if I do when I type fast.
That was the wrong joke.
Lol just cut that out.
So I think this was our biggest disagreement so far! Anything else you wanna touch on?

Anupa: Not really
We didn’t focus on details this episode
But I think it was a devisive one
It’s my first INTERRO, minus the BANG

Jef: I can feel that
Three details I’ll get out the way quick: 1) “There is no Sayid” is both a great line and a horrible line
2) Lapidus’ hair is mad inconsistent
and 3) Locke TOTALLY grabbed Claire’s boob on the pier
And ya, I give it similar but opposite, BANG with no INTERRO — which I don’t think is that much of a bad thing.

Anupa: I don’t wanna hear about pervy Locke, that’s gross

Jef: LOL
Shall we stop here like Anthony Cooper’s face?

Anupa: pyyywp
that’s the sound his face makes when it’s stopping
sorry

Jef: lol
it was a good choice of consonants
vivid

AYO JIN!

Knowing that the ingredients for a good LOST episode is a healthy mix of “!!” and “??” Jef and Anupa will be interrobanging the show’s final season every week. As LOST winds down to its conclusion, can its creators dish out all the needed explanations without resorting to exposition? Can they keep up the mystery without succumbing to just more mindfuckery?

This week with “The Last Recruit”, the show goes about moving everybody into their places for the big finale. On the island, some players switch teams and one jumps off a boat, while over in Sideways City a familiar flirtation happens, someone gets tripped by a wire (zoinks!) and mad people have to see a doctor. Most amazing though is that Kate doesn’t stupidly chase after anyone! She does, however, find something new to be stupid about. Stupid Kate. Watch out for SPOILERS, you bastards:

Anupa: SO

What is it? Like four episodes left?

Jef: Yesss

Final is two hours, but yes.

How are you holding up?

Last week you were wary.

Anupa: There is mad build up happening, guy.

They must be planning on giving a lot of information at once.

Or none at all…

Jef: Aha imagine?

I am feeling the buildup. Honestly, I think the finale is going to be structured movie style — all the main conflicts and themes are gonna be wrapped up all at once there.

Anupa: Well, yeah, that is what I’m thinking.

Jef: I’m actually surprised we got the Korean-reuinion today.

Anupa: To me that says that something else is going to happen…

Jef: Yes, something BIGGER is planned for those two.

Which is awesome.

Anupa: We should start some kind of pool…get some BETTING ACTION on the happs, brah.

Jef: Lol we can call it “Everyone Loses!”

Place your bets folks.

Anupa: I will secretly embezzle all of the funds generated.

It’s interesting…you know how they’ve set this show up with our original characters positioned as pawns

At the rate this is going/the way it’s all playing out, we are TOTALLY pawns.

I mean, I know this is obvious, but it’s so fantastic how with this final season we still don’t know so much.

We still have NO idea whether or not to trust Smocke.

Jef: Which is perfect though right, because neither do the characters.

Even Claire it turns out was never 100 per cent loyal. Or maybe she will turncoat later, who knows.

But yeah, not knowing where Smokes and Jacob stand and where the characters stand with them is perfect because it’s the same stuff we started with — we never knew if Jack or Locke were the more correct leaders.

Anupa: What are your thoughts on Jack literally jumping ship?

I mean, I just don’t get why he’d get on in the first place.

Jef: He’s, y’know, stewing over his options. Can’t decide whether to fall back, because all of his leadership decisions have been so fail, or to follow his gut because he caught the faith bug.

I like that he jumped, and it recalled when Sawyer also once jumped to stay on the island.

Anupa: Right, they’ve both made that journey.

It’s interesting though that you bring up those series of episodes involving the freighter.

Remember how Christian appeared on the freighter with Michael?

Since we now (apparently) know that Smocke once took Christian-form, how did he travel over water?

I.E. couldn’t Smocke just fucking show up wherever he wants to?

Like on their boat now

Or on the other Island?

Jef: Lol yeah. Well we know that Smokes really needs everyone to leave together. So he needs a boat to ferry everyone else regardless — turning to smoke to transport himself would be pointless and probably just freak the shit out of everyone.

Then again, the Smoke monster can grab people. So he could carry em.

My head hurts.

Anupa: Yeah! Why doesn’t he just carry them to where he wants them to go? LOL

Jef: Lol damn him. What did you think about the opening convo with Jack and Smoke?

When they talked about Locke?

Anupa: Smocke almost sounded bitter…

I don’t know if that’s reading too much into it

And me trying to link him to my “he’s just Locke pretending” theory.

Jef: “He was a sucker” was so harsh. Awesome harsh.

And you’re right, there was a hint of self-loathing in there.

Anupa: Yeah dude, they spent so many seasons buttering Locke up as this Man O’ Faith.

But both sides suit Locke really well in a way.

I mean, remember in S1 how they were almost playing into this “is Locke evil?” thing?

He’s really been split this whole time.

Jef: Yeah Lost plays faith in an interesting way. They make faith look crazy at points but also often also as correct.

And yeah to extend what you’re saying about the character being split — on the island Locke’s faith is what made him seem strong. Made him walk. But also made him die. In sideways world his weakness saved his life. The wheelchair took the brunt of Desmond’s car.

Anupa: It’s interesting, last week we had these theories about if Dez was trying to kill Locke in Sideways Land because of the whole well thing.

Although it did seem fairly obvious that they wanted him and Jack to cross paths.

…but there was room for speculation

How do you feel about that now? Do you still think he was trying to kill him?

Jef: I still think there’s still room for speculation, but yeah I won’t be surprised if that line of thought is never picked up on again.

But yo, the reason we were saying that is because Smokes threw Dez down this long-ass pit — was it me or was it like WTF that well is SO SHALLOW this week.

Anupa: Dude, I definitely would’ve died if I fell down that well.

I’m not good at landing.

Jef: LOL

You land, then trip and die.

Dude he was just chilling there, not even a twisted up ankle or anything. “Hey Sayid. What’s up. Just chillin.”

Anupa: Brotha

Do you think Sayid did it?

Dead or no?

Jef: No, I don’t think Sayid did it. The past few episodes have all been on some power ballad-level Power of Love type shit, and I think what they gave us here was hope that love could also save Sayid and Claire in the end.

Sayid said before he doesn’t FEEL anything. But apparently he still feels enough to love Nadia.

And Kate turned Claire around by playing the Aaron card.

Maybe I’m just being hopeful?

Anupa: In the end, it would be a shitty way for Dez to go.

Although he is turning into General Pervert off island… is it just me or he’s creepy and gross?

Jef: Yeah and if Sayid did it, I think they would have preferred to show it to us. They like showing people get shot.

Anupa: It’s funny you mention Nadia…cus they didn’t actually say Nadia… and why would they purposefully avoid her name?

Methinks we’ll be seeing Shannon soon.

Jef: OH SNAP

Good one.

Anupa: Semantics.

It also makes me wonder about that Tina Fey/Smocke showdown.

First of all, he didn’t decimate her.

Second of all, they kept referring to the “thing” that was taken.

Why do they make these conscious efforts to avoid names?

Jef: “The Package”

Anupa: Like if it were me I’d be like “Yo, guy! Where Dez at?!”

Jef: Lol if I was on team Widmore I’d just be calling him “that dude passed out in the sub. Go get him.”

Anupa: “my repugnant son in law”

Jef: Okay yeah so while we’re talking about Dez being creepy and giving everyone sex eyes –

Reality two just got bumped up a couple of notches, yeah?

I was just as involved this week with what was happening there as I was with the island story.

Anupa: Right, because now it’s not just one boring storyline.

LAWL

How great/heartbreaking/amazing was that scene with Ben and Locke in the ambulance?

The best actors/characters playing these completely different roles…

UGH

SO GOOD.

Jef: Haha I thought it was kind of funny.

Anupa: You would.

*EYE ROLLLLLS *

Jef: “My name is John.”

That scene was so bromantic.

I was AMAZED by how many characters had dope scenes in one episode, both on and off the island.

Anupa: You were a fan of the Kate/Sawyer police station flirty flirty?

Jef: Hell yeah loved it.

And yeah last week I was griping that the female characters weren’t doing shit, so it was good to see some Kate and Claire scenes.

I HATE Kate’s stupid ballcap though.

Take that shit off Kate!

Anupa: Yeah, it reminds me of girls who wear full makeup in the gym and workout with their long-ass hair down.

These are girl things that bother other girls

FYI

Jef: Haha what?

Anupa: See

Jef: *Goes off to guy talk with Sawyer and Jack*

Anupa: LOL

Good vun!

How about that cool scene with both Sun and Locke being carted into the hospital?

“It’s him, it’s him!” … that was her tapping into her Island memory right?

Jef: YES

Yeah like, physical injuries seem to jar people into realizing the other universe exists, and I guess it goes both ways.

I think Sun hitting her head and forgetting English was just the otherverse bleeding through.

So shit, Jack’s maybe also been enlightened? With the bomb at the end?

Anupa: That’s fucking banane

OMG

CORRECT

Jef: And that’s why the POV shot that mirrors the first episode?

Anupa: Right

Jef: He’s just as confused for a second. Like, where am I?

Shiiiit.

Anupa: We’re also setting up for a major Jack/Locke showdown.

Jef: Yo, speaking of final showdowns: almost everyone is in the hospital now right?

Anupa: Not Kate, not Sawyer, Sayid or Miles…

Or Claire… although I’m betting she’ll go into labour or some shit.

Also, Hurley.

Jef: Yeah for sure she’ll be having the baby there

Oh fuck yeah Hurley!

Anupa: We didn’t see Hurley IRL this episode!

Jef: He’s off sexing Libby

So glad they didn’t show it.

And Miles:

Where is he on the island? And why doesn’t Sawyer want to save him?

What an ass!

Anupa: He’s with Guyliner!!

He didn’t come with them to camp Smokey.

Jef: I have a bad feeling about Richard’s team.

I think they all die…

Maybe in a self-sacrificy kind of way.

They’re all kind of insignificant in the off-island world, right?

nupa: Don’t say that! I’m semi-crushing on Miles right now.

He’s my LOST CRUSH OF THE WEEK.

Jef: Aha mine is…get ready…Claire.

Anupa: My name is Claiihre, I’m having a bahhhby, we have the same fahhhter.

Jef: LOL

My thing for Claire has been refined:

I now specifically dig on her when she’s jungle Claire, and when she’s giving her stank face.

Anupa: Complex needs to make a Claire soundboard.

Jef: No I would waste so much time there!

Anupa: I don’t even want to think about what you would do there.

Jef: And I waste enough time on Complex already. Gotdamn click-throughs.

Anupa: EW

HAHAH I HATE THEIR CLICK THRUS.

But yo, the best Claire face was when they ran off without her and she felt all left out and shit.

She was the definition of GLOWERING.

Jef: YES. Awesome Claire face.

She was like “Oh hellllll no.”

Anupa: Whatever, Jack knew she would follow.

He was there when she followed him and Smocke in the beginning.

Jef: LOL did he though? I was laughing because Sawyer was like “you figure it out!” to Jack about coming up with a Locke-ditching plan. But then…Jack had no plan at all!

Anupa: LOL

Jef: He was just like, “Oh hey Locke’s gone! Sweet let’s go guys.”

Anupa: This episode was stupid for that.

The dude is made of face-eating smoke…and a) he doesn’t know what they’re up to and/or b) their plan is just to…run?

FAIL

Jef: Thank GOD Kate didn’t run after him.

This episode was awesome just for not doing that.

Anupa: LOLOLOL

Imagine she jumped out the boat?

Jef: Yeah I’d scream at her.

At my TV.

I would.

Anupa: I wouldn’t blame Sawyer for shooting her dead in the water right there.

Jef: LOOOL

Anupa: JUST END THE CYCLE

PLEASE

Jef: That would be awesome.

And then cut to Claire, as she laughs.

Yeah, I hate Kate, but that scene she had with Claire was aight. I bought it. Even though Kate like NEVER MENTIONS AARON and I forgot she ever raised him. I think she sold that scene.

Anupa: Dude, why can’t she just be all like: “HEY CLAIRE! You were gone and someone needed to take care of the kid? Would you rather I gave him up for adoption? INGRATE!”

It really isn’t that complicated.

Jef: Haha yeah just stop acting like you stole the kid.

Anupa: TRUST ME

Jef: Be like I SAVED that blonde bastard.

YOU OWE ME.

Anupa: Claire’s so high school.

Jef: I think Claire really is like fresh from high school though lol.

Anupa: 16 and pregnant.

Jef: She’s one of those girls, you know.

So for sure yeah she ends up in the hospital birthing Aaron, right?

And Sun is there already with her baby saved.

Do you think it’s important that Jack’s son is wandering around there as well?

You think this kid is a factor?

Anupa: Why would Jack bring him to the hospital if not?

They made a point of his mom calling and the kid wanting to spend more time with his dad, and then him coming to the hospital instead of that time together being cut short.

If he doesn’t have a role to play I’m gonna call it and say the writers are spending their time crafting nonsense instead of the shit THE RATINGS PAY THEM TO DO.

I’m writing too much in caps this interrobang.

Diary of an angry brown woman.

Jef: No yeah I think he’s important too.

I mean, IMPORTANT TOO.

Anupa: Sorry, Angry Asian Man is taken already.

Jef: And he’s wandering free right now, with almost everyone there.

Anupa: But yeah, so the spoiler I read for today’s episode was that WALT shows up.

But he didn’t.

BUT

…what if he does now?

That would make all the kids.

Jef: He HAS to.

I will forgive the writers a lot of shit, but not Walt.

Anupa: We can send them cards that when you open them up they go WALLLLT like those birthday cards that play happy birthday.

Jef: Haha yeah if they don’t follow through I will forever send them WALT letters.

Anupa: LOL

Jef: They will just say WAAAALT.

Or maybe “He’s my son! WAAAALT!”

Anupa: But seriously, why spend that time setting that whole thing up about him being speshal?

Jef: He’ll be there.

I’m saying finale.

Two hour movie style.

Anupa: Hopefully not Bruckheimer style.

Jef: You know they gotta save the most amazing cameos for last.

He’ll maybe be the cliffhanger for the second-last or something.

(Watch him show up next week now for no reason.)

Hm what else?

Wanna touch on Jin and Sun real quick?

Anupa: Yeah

I cried

I’ll admit it.

Jef: I didn’t cry, but I did get excited once I realized what was happening.

Dude, was it just me though, or did you think her brains were gonna fry when she passed through the pylons?

I was wincing.

Anupa: Yeah I totally thought that.

It would’ve been Artz-level awesome

But not, because we like her.

Do you notice Jin sounds like a grizzly bear when he speaks English?

His voice deepens like three registers.

Jef: Lol

I was going to say maybe he’s imitating whoever taught him. But he was taught by Sawyer.

Anupa: “I…love you too.”

LOLOL

Imagine he imitated Sawyer?

Jef: Jin with Sawyer’s twang would be awesome.

Anupa: It would be like seeing a black dude with an Irish accent…. WEIRD.

SO?

Jef: Yeah ok my final thoughts: this episode was dope all around and more impressive because it bucked the formula:

It wasn’t about any one character. It worked the whole ensemble, moved everyone into place, AND still had great character moments.

So I give it (drumroll): my faith. I have confidence they can pull off the finale, for sure.

You?

Anupa: What you said.

The wonders of science? Or the music of Driveshaft?

Knowing that the ingredients for a good LOST episode is a healthy mix of “!!” and “??” Jef and Anupa will be interrobanging the show’s final season every week. As LOST winds down to its conclusion, can its creators dish out all the needed explanations without resorting to exposition? Can they keep up the mystery without succumbing to just more mindfuckery?

Apparently, yes, they can. Hi-five for “Happily Every After”! There be SPOILERS yonder:

Jef: Ok uhm wow

Anupa: Yeah dude

That was a FUCKED UPPP episode.

Jef: Lol so good

It hit all my tender loin spots.

Anupa: Do you feel slightly fatigued after watching it?

Jef: The opposite! I feel ever so amped and tweaking.

My lip is twitching like Desmond’s when he’s angry.

We are on the same page, yes?

The Awesome Page?

Anupa: Dude, there is so much going on that my brain can’t handle it. I might time travel.

But the Island is probably not done with me yet.

Let’s start with that opening scene.

Jef: Ok yeah my one quibble — was Dez really out cold this entire time since he got shot?

He had no idea he was on a submarine?

Anupa: I just assumed they drugged him?

I liked the fact that it served as a reminder of how little time has actually passed between when we saw him get shot and when these folks actually came to the island…

Jef: Hm yes, good point.

Yo there is an awesome line by Widmore at the start when he says to Jin: “It will be easier for me to show you than to tell you.”

That’s what this show is good at, no matter how much it annoys us when we want answers.

It shows us shit, it doesn’t just tell us.

Anupa: Right.

Jef: Right then and there I knew this episode was going off.

Anupa: It’s like “SO MUCH IS HAPPENING BUT NOT HAPPENING, BUT HAPPENING!”

You feel like the storyline is being pushed forward but you don’t exactly know in what ways.

Jef: But it’s in the exact way it should (for the most part — Lost still has its pee pee episodes).

I feel like most of my gripes about the pacing of this season would be wiped away if I watched it straight marathon on DVD, like I did with the rest of the show.

But either way, here we are, finally, with my one wish: realities crossing!

Anupa: YES!

So happy for this.

Also, when Zoe said “That’s not scheduled til tomorrow morning,”

Widmore said back, “I don’t care when it’s scheduled.”

IT’S SKEDULED, NOT SHEDULED SILLY!

Jef: Haha do you think that was a nod to the fact the writers knew they had to start speeding shit up?

Anupa: LOL it could be, I was just irritated that Zoe said scheduled and Widmore said sheduled. An interjection that has been made at an inappropriate time. Unsheduled.

Jef: Saying “sheduled” is awesome — I wish I could get away with it.

Anupa: Have we seen this station before?

Jef: Nope, I think the Wids built this one themselves.

Anupa: That’s really fast though?

Jef: They got those anti-Smoke pylons up with quickness too.

Widmore seems like a good manager, in that I-fucking-hate-that-guy-but-he-gets-shit-done kind of way.

I’m not surprised.

Anupa: What did you think of the nuke box?

Jef: I thought the whole thing was mad Marvel Comics which means I loved it so much.

As an aside, I didn’t realize how much I missed the sci-fi aspects of this show and didn’t realize how deep we went into fantasy territory lately.

So yeah, I was happy.

Anupa: For sure.

I don’t think it was set up as a sci-fi show per se, so the crappy CGI when Des was frying threw me off.

But ultimately, I dug it when we began to see how that unfolded.

Jef: No no, it wasn’t.

It had this hodgepodge of all these different genres, but the sci-fi took a back seat after the time travel business ended and after the death of Farady.

Lol I was laughing that Dez’s chair was not bolted down, like it would have been in any other similar scene in any other show.

He just smashed the shit out of it.

Anupa: It looked like the chair in the cabin!

Jef: Ha maybe it was! RIP cabin chair.

Anupa: Maybe the other portal is the cabin!

Jef: Hahaha

Ok so Widmore flips 3 switches on Dez and then we flash to the l’aeroport.

What did you think of Dez meeting Claire?

Was there a significance there I missed?

Or just a random we are all everbody moment?

Anupa: You mean, you all everybodyÉ

(MY FUCKING PUNCTUATION HAS STOPPED WORKING AGAIN)

Jef: Oh no the accents!

lololol

Anupa: I hate this laptop, can we put a Paypal thing on the blog to buy me a new one?

And as for Claire, I was thinking there might be some significance in it, but in all likelihood it was probably only to certify the connections…

Jef: Yeah, and to set up Charlie’s obsession I guess…

Anupa: Why else would Desmond want to show these people something in the end if he hadn’t forged a connection with some of them?

And yes, to set up Charlie’s story.

Jef: Guy, did they make Charlie’s ears BIGGER?

Anupa: His hair is shorter!

Proportions!

Jef: During the commercial for Flash Forward I was surprised by how normal-sized he looks in that show.

Haha I think he still wears his Peter Jackson makeup.

Anupa: I like the Geico commercial with the big biscuit.

It looks delicious.

Jef: I don’t know this biscuit, but I’d probably eat it.

How much do you care or not care about Charlie?

He was dead long before I ever started talking Lost with you — are you a fan?

Anupa: Charlie has his moments, but I have a soft spot for him because of the way he died.

And because he was always trying to prove himself: he was always positioned as this sad puppy kind of character and I totally fell for it.

They wrote him really well.

Jef: So did the car scene do anything for you?

Anupa: I mean, earlier when they were talking in the bar I was wondering why exactly ONE moment would affect Charlie in that way?

Not that I’ve had a near-death experience like that, but is the reason this thing really grips Charlie supposed to be blind faith or just to illustrate the power of the moment?

And how did he know it would happen to Dez?

Jef: This is true — I feel like Charlie was kind of “used” in this storyline. Used in a good way, don’t get me wrong, but him more than anyone else seems like a diff. character in this reality.

I felt he was there just to set up Dez’s story.

Anupa: I get you, but in a sense I also think he was there to prove a point about these connections.

I mean he is the character introducing this concept to us.

Jef: I think that’s my thing though (this is a minor gripe here) — he was introducing the love concept to make room for the Dez and Penny story. The actual moment between Charlie and Claire, we didn’t see it, it didn’t matter to us, you know?

But like I said, it’s minor, b/c at this point Charlie’s character is a side player cameo anyway.

Maybe I just wanted to hear Claire say “Chahlie.”

Anupa: LOL, that is weird.

Would you ask her to say it before you kissed her?

Jef: Haha I probably would.

Let me clarify I have the hots for Claire, not Emilie de Ravin.

So all the Claire-isms? Word. That’s all I’ll say. Word.

Anupa: Then you should not watch Remember Me, unless you have the hots for Robert Pattinson. Which I do, after seeing that film.

SMOKING.

Jef: LAUGHING

Anupa: Desmond was also looking quite dapper.

Jef: Dez is man-crushable.

I want to buy that man a fucking a beer.

Anupa: LOL

Jef: Or whatever the fuck he was drinking.

Anupa: 60 year old Scotch.

That’s expensive so I am taking your mancrush seriously.

Jef: Haha yes, he is worthy.

Anupa: HAHAHA Yes. I loved that line from Widmore.

How UNSURPRISING was that reveal?

Jef: Haha yeah for a second I was like GROAN. But it was a commercial break reveal, not a reveal-reveal, so I let it slide.

Anupa: A reveal is a reveal!

Jef: (is a reveal!)

Anupa: Also, another minor gripe:

Desmond got the fastest MRI in the world.

Or at least in the U.S.

Jef: 30 mins?

Anupa: He must have a sick healthcare plan.

Jef: He aborted it with the button yo.

Anupa: Dude, people wait months for that shit.

Jef: Oh ahhahah I got you.

Anupa: And they are super $$

Jef: I guess he’s on that Widmore waiting list.

Anupa: HE GOT THAT WIDMORE PAPER.

Jef: Rich characters always excuse everything.

Ok yo let’s get down to busyness:

ELOISE

Anupa: Right, I think that was one of the most head-scratchy scenes of this whole episode.

What is her fucking deal?

Jef: She knowwwwws.

AND she was like Desmond chasing Penny is “a violation.”

So there are “rules” in this world as well.

Can I geek for a sec?

Has Eloise, through her knowledge of the time-loop, somehow orchestrated the entire reality-splitting? And do these “rules” she mentions imply Jacob and/or Smokey’s presence here as well?

And speaking of the fucking time-loop – is it possible she knew not only that she would shoot her son, Faraday, but also that it would be after Faraday tells Jack to hit the bomb? And if she knew this, maybe that could also mean reality 2 has actually already “happened” before? Even bigger time-loop?

That made sense in my head.

I promise.

Haha we can move on. I’ll clear that one up in the comments, maybe.

Anupa: Yup, you lost me with that.

Maybe Smokey is inhabiting her body.

Jef: Ew Smokey is having sex wid Widmore.

Anupa: Gay?

Jef: Whatever it is, I like it?

Anupa: How cool and normal was Daniel?

We are so used to him being twitchy and nerdly.

I found him minorly babely in this episode.

And I loved that he was a piano player (his aborted childhood passion which we found out about in earlier seasons) and that they tied his physics shit into it, even though that’s not part of his reality 2 persona.

Jef: Dude yeah I love Daniel.

Daniel and Desmond are like Team Science in this bitch and I support them one thousand per cent.

How many awesome turns in Lost are these two side characters responsible for?

Awesome.

Anupa: It’s true.

They are completely intriguing too, and so three dimensional.

Jef: Yeah and maybe because they’re not in our faces every week (JACK AND KATE) we never got the chance to hate them.

Anupa: I could never hate Dez.

He’s my broooothaaa.

Jef: Lol

On the mythology tip — we were saying before that we didn’t get the presence of Team Widmore and what they added to the Jacob/Smokey battle.

I totally think that’s been fleshed out now and it’s more than welcome.

Anupa: Explain

Jef: Well I think before I had it set up in my head that Jacob’s crew = faith and Smokey’s crew = free will.

But now with the scientists all in the mix and Desmond dropping jewels like “there’s always a choice” — I feel like this is the true Team Free Will.

And Smokey’s set is more like Team Superstition and Mindfuckery.

Remember how we were always saying the characters had to make the final moves? And the end had to not be about Jacob and Smokes? And maybe new Locke and new Jack would be the most powerful characters in the end?

I feel like Widmore/Desmond/Daniel open us up to that actually happening.

I likes.

Anupa: Right

The juxtaposition of all these faith-y episodes versus this heavily sci-fi one was cool.

You are right, it kind of breaks you out of the reverie a bit.

Two episodes ago, we were in 19th century Andalusia.

Jef: Haha word.

Anupa: Now we are dealing with nukes and shit.

Jef: Know what’s most awesome though?

They fucking set up a scientific (or at least sci-fi-ific) explanation for LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT.

So romance.

Anupa: YES

Jef: Like, how can I not gush all over this.

Anupa: At first I thought it was cheesy, but I love it.

Why are you more emo than I?

I am going to buy you a Danielle Steele boxset for Christmas.

Jef: Hahahah. I am Sawyer with Juliet, you are Sawyer with Kate.

Anupa: Nicholas Sparks too.

I am not Sawyer, I am whoever Sawyer finally ends up with happily ever after.

Jef: Haha well to maintain my tenuous grip on manhood let me clarify, I’m not gushing over love at first sight, I’m tripping over the idea of this sci-fi reasoning for it.

It’s awesome.

What got you open about this ep?

Anupa: The whole idea of Desmond being this enabler

Jef: Enabler! Perfect word.

Anupa: Who will bring everyone around to their lives as we know their lives.

Don’t want to necessarily call it their true lives.

I am very curious to see how this continues to play out once he gets a hold of the manifest.

I am also curious if this means that near-death experiences are what help you see the truth.

This some Matrix shit.

Jef: Widmore totally had a Morpheus line in his office,

“Ah, to be free of attachments.”

The question is though, who’s actually going to want to go back to island-reality?

Who won’t be on Desmond’s side?

Anupa: Locke?

Jef: Haha yeah, that dying thing sucks.

Really though, most of them are happier here in paralleland.

And/or, breathing.

And/or not crazy.

Is the “what happened, happened” line actually a correct stance to take on things?

Anupa: Who said that?

Jef: Eloise I think.

Anupa: Right.

I mean, it could be.

Anupa: How will the Island factor into this anyway if it is buried underwater?

Jef: I’m guessing old white lady knows.

And she’s not telling.

Old white ladies and their secrets, man.

Anupa: ROLES REVERSED

In this reality, old white ladies hold the power.

Jef: *raises fist*

*full of prunes*

Anupa: and doilies

I am betting you like how Sayid just ninja’d into that last scene.

He so stealth!!!

Jef: Haha forreal he even looks action figure-ish lately.

Him and his plastic expressions.

Anupa: Yeah dude. He is just gonna become known as the ninja dude.

He is stealing work from Asian Actors!

Jef: Who will his final kung-fu battle be with?

Anupa: Sun!

Jef: Yes!

Azn prYdE

Anupa: Round one! Fight!

Why did Desmond go with Sayid?

Jef: 1) You can’t fight Sayid.

2) You can’t fight Sayid?

Naw I dunno, I think he just wants to the talk to the rest of the crew? Shrugs.

Anupa: LOL, true.

If I was on TV, I would go with Sayid too.

I just wanted to add how beautiful this episode was in its mirroring of past episodes.

Jef: Ah yes

Anupa: Seeing old faces, old settings.

Loved the stadium scene.

Jef: The stadium was dope.

I loved that shot against the seats where it looks like a grid and Dez is moving horizontally and Penny is coming down vertically and it looks like they’re going to meet and click like cosmic Tetris pieces.

Anupa: You are the cybercupid.

Jef: Lol

They fucking with us you, you know?

The get it in our heads that deja vu is love at first sight.

Then they go out of their way to give us deja vu with all the mirroring.

Anupa: Bad shit can only come.

Jef: A lot can happen in 20 minutes.

Anupa: It’s not real time!

Jef: Lol

Ok you have a final word?

Anupa: jes

But I can’t do it cus my punctuation is fucked

<3

nevermind, there it is!

Jef: Hahaha

Appropriately enough, this feels like deja vu.

Anupa: I am no longer impatient.

This episode was very satisfying.

Jef: Five episodes left right?

I hope this is the clear No Filler Zone.

Yeah, I give this episode whatever it wants.

It wuz gud.

Anupa: A+++++++++++++++++

As if Shar Peis are the only dogs in Korea...

Knowing that the ingredients for a good LOST episode is a healthy mix of “!!” and “??” Jef and Anupa will be interrobanging the show’s final season every week. As LOST winds down to its conclusion, can its creators dish out all the needed explanations without resorting to exposition? Can they keep up the mystery without succumbing to just more mindfuckery?

Ahh, the inevitable “WTF is gonna happen to Jin and Sun?!” episode. Tragedy? Happy ending? Well, we sure know Jin got one of those this week in “The Package” (… that one wasn’t intentional). There’s lots of boobs and baddies and a tender scene with Jin seeing his adorbs kid, Ji Yeon, for the first time (above) and a seething Smocke. Then there’s also the intriguing Package. What is it, you ask? Watch the episode to find out! Then rejoin Jef and I after the jump as we chop it up. SPOILERS AHOY!

Jef: I think we both have been waiting on this Jin and Sun episode
Anupa: YES, that was the first thing I wanted to talk about.
Jsun!
Sin!
What did you make of this take on their relationship? Not married, but still lovers?
Jef: I have no idea — they were so repressed and straight laced in world #1 that I don’t think it made much of a difference. I guess the heat was still there.
BOOBS
There were boob shots.
Anupa: Those boob shots were sooooo gratuitous.
Also, that dirty talk scene was so formal.
I don’t know if it was the Korean that made it formal or what.
Jef: Haha, yeah that’s what I’m saying. It felt kinda totally the same.
Anupa: But also, you know how they made an obvious example of the Kwon vs. Paik thing when they were checking into the hotel?
I wonder if that’s an indicator that the island candidate Kwon is definitely Jin and not Sun.
Jef: Yeah, especially if she dies from that gunshot wound at the end. That would be the first (main) character we see die off…but I’m guessing she ends up in Jack’s hospital and Jack does some Jack stuff to save her.
I hope he punches her chest!
Anupa: LOL, “cahmon!”
Jef: And someone says “Stop! She’s gone!”
And then she’s not gone.
Anupa: And he counts to 10, all whispery-like, while the ghost of Christian past looks over his shoulder.
Jef: LOL, is it just me or is Sun hotter in reality two?
Anupa: YUP!
Jef: What the hell is up with that?
I think it’s the hair.
Oh and I guess the BOOBS
Anupa: I was going to say I think it’s not the hair.
Probably the boobs.
What’s with her only being able to speak Korean after she gets smacked upside the head?
I feel like this is definitely another unnecessary thing that’s been thrown in “just for fun” by the writers. Like Dogen only speaking Japanese for like two episodes
(Sorry to bring him up again, I know it’s a sore spot)
Jef: Yeah I mean we’ve seen all these fascinating role shifts, Jack becoming Locke and Claire becoming Rousseau and so on. And for Sun all we get is: she’s Jin! Haha, she can’t speak English!
Anupa: Yeah, it’s a tad yawnworthy.
But I was glad to see Keamy at the door!
Is it wrong that for a split second I hoped he would try and seduce Sun and we’d get a shirtless shot of him?
He is kind of straight-up bad-ass though. I knew something was up when he forced himself into the room like that.
Jef: I was hoping we’d get another shot of him eating eggs at the end.
He should always be eating eggs.
That other bad guy, Rosetta Stone guy.
He was the eye-patch dude from way back right?
Anupa: What eyepatch dude?
This sounds vaguely familiar, but the LOST assemblage is so big now I honestly have no fucking clue.
Jef: Wasn’t he an Other who was pretending to be a Dharma dude?
Waaaay back.
He had a cabin
Anupa: No NO! that was Radzinsky
And he was older.
Jef: Haha does he look totally different?
Anupa: Okay, his name wasn’t Radzinsky, it was something else. But it wasn’t that guy.
Maybe he got Botox off island
I mean, he is entitled to life’s little luxuries.
Jef: Yeah sure why not? Everybody’s got to get their piece in reality 2
[Editor’s note: Anupa is drunk and it IS indeed Mikhail, the guy from the cabin, with his grill mysteriously not scarred up.]
Anupa: So, speaking of getting their piece..
Jef: BOOBS
Anupa: What do you think is up with reality 2?
I mean, we saw Sun get shot after Widmore went through that whole shpiel with Jin about how if Smocke gets off, people will cease to exist.
Is this the turning point? Where things start to go wrong?
Where we realize that maybe reality 2 isn’t all that it’s cracked up to be?
Jef: I think we hit that point with the Sayid episode — shit’s been more really real ever since.
It’s starting to lose me though — it’d be nice if things just started crossing over already or something. I was hoping we’d get that with “the package” being someone from reality 2, but I guess not.
Are you feeling the changes are getting arbitrary?
Anupa: I feel like they’re giving, but still adding.
Which contributes to the arbitrary feeling.
Wait, that’s a lie.
They aren’t really giving much.
Jef: At this point it’s just turning into “and this person now does THIS” and we’re more than halfway through the season. I’d like for it to mean something more than irony by now.
How important is it that Baby Kwon eats a bullet though?
(So to speak)
Anupa: Yeah, having to speculate about stuff like that (especially characters like Ji Yeon that we’re not necessarily invested in) so late in the game really sucks.
Jef: How you feel about Sayid’s continuing emo-ness?
“I don’t feel anything.”
Anupa: LOL I LOVE IT
Jef: He’s just like “MEH”
Anupa: I love when he gets out of the water at the end. He’s like Sideshow Bob. He probably just walked across the ocean floor and then emerged the same way he went under….expressionless, focused.
It’s actually hilarious when you think about it.
Jef: Haha, yeah, he was so ninja with it.
I kinda wanted him to be breathing through a reed.
Anupa: If I was there I’d punch you hard, that’s how much I’m laughing right now.
Jef: LOL it’s stealth!
Yo was it just my TV, or was that last scene so poorly lit?
Anupa: Do you have HD?
Jef: With the reveal of the package I was like “Wha? Who is that?”
Yeah!
Anupa: Fuck you.
Jef: I had to squint it.
Anupa: It was probably worse for me then since I’m a plebe who can’t afford HD.
Jef: So, word, did you know it was Desmond right away?
For a split sec I even thought it was doppleganger Sayid
Anupa: I mean, people have been saying that from time.
Jef: ..which would have been gangster
Anupa: NO. You say it would’ve been gangster, but we would be chatting and you would’ve been like “WTF GUY!”
Admit it.
Jef: No way! That’s the exact kind of shit I want to start happening now.
How is Desmond supposed to rile me up? We last saw him in some Widmore business. Like OK, yeah, there he is.
Anupa: LOL, true.
Like you expect him to be there.
It would`ve been dope if it was Walt.
Bam bam!
Jef: Yeah man, something like that.
Widmore STAYS trying to capture Desmond.
The reveal woulda maybe been better if it was about why Desmond is special.
Not that it’s him on the sub. Who cares??
Their endings are getting weaker, which makes me sad, because this show is all cliffhangers.
Anupa: Maybe next week will be a Desmond episode?
Jef: LOL
Anupa: They tend to set shit up like that…
*Cliffhanger* “oh wait here’s the context”
Jef: Which is fine by me. Desmond is that dude, one of the best characters
Anupa: Brotha.
Jef: LOL
Yeah but there haven’t even been surprises
“We’re taking the plane sub!”
“You must stop the man in black!”
“It’s Desmond.”
Anupa: “Sun and Ji Yeon have a pet Shar Pei!”
Jef: “And it speaks English!”
What you think of Widmore’s team?
Anupa: That one Liz Lemon bitch is cool.
Jef: She tased him bro.
Anupa: Apparently she knows what’s up.
I like hard bitches.
Jef: Hard geo-physicist bitches.
Anupa: YUP.
And she is totally like “whatever” about Widmore
She fully rolled her eyes at him when he asked her to do some shit and she was like “hire a mercenary, not a geophysicist!”
Jef: Haha, for real. I’m like, ‘She’s the one you sent to do espionage shit on Sawyer?’
How you feel about the Jin/Sun story as it’s unfolding on the island? Aside from the can’t-speak-english development
Anupa: I am confused by it. It felt pretty straightforward before, but now I am not sure what`ll happen.
They want to get each other back, but are not willing to trust Locke to do so. Also, did Jack`s sand-encrusted, everyman hand make him seem more trusting than Smocke or something?
Jef: Haha.
I think it’s the fact Jack is still Jack
Sun seems like the only character who seriously gives a fuck that Locke is not Locke, LOL.
Everyone else is just like “oh word?”
Anupa: Jack seemed pretty Locke-y to me. I mean, he is still Jack, but that whole “hey look I found a stubborn tomater!” seemed like an old school Locke move
Hahah truth.com
Does it mean something that Locke and Widmore look alike?
Jef: Yeah, it was definitely one more step in Jack’s Locke-dom journey.
Yo they’re both just bald and white. You silly!
Anupa: Dasss racist.
Jef: WTF product placement
Anupa: They should pay me.
Jef: Speaking of white people
I really love Claire’s continuing stank hatred towards Kate. My fav part of the episode is when Locke was like “I need Kate” and Claire said “WHY?”
Anupa: That whole scene was awesome with all those folk.
It is interesting…we know now that he doesn’t give a fuck if anyone dies after he gets off.
Which should be a big red flag for anyone, but is obviously not in LOST-world.
Also, I feel like this scene rendered the whole Crazy Claire storyline useless… what was the point in it?
Jef: Naw, it plays a part in the general mythology for sure. She’s not a part of the candidate storyline, that’s all. But the sickness, Aaron, the Rosseau cycle, that’s all part of the show
Is that what you meant though?
Anupa: I mean, I get that part but throwing it in this season, it felt useless.
I wonder if, looking back, we will feel like a lot of stuff was thrown in at the last minute.
Jef: Hm, I think I’ll agree to disagree on Claire, but yeah, there was stuff thrown in that feels useless.
Like Lapidus, is he really there just so there’s someone to eventually fly the plane home?
Is that really his worth this season?
Anupa: Looks like it. With SIX episodes left, there is not much hope for his mythology
Jef: It’d be awesome if every character who wasn’t a candidate was just always playing cards in the background all the time.
No matter what was happening in the scene
So did you get anything out of this episode? With the Jin and Sun stories, the moral of the story just seemed to be “put a ring on it.”
Anupa: To be honest, I got a big ???? out of this episode
Though it was oddly satisfying.
I wonder if that was because of Sawyer asking Smocke why he couldn’t just turn into smoke and fly over to the next island.
i.e. the thought that was in my head a minute prior.
Jef: Yeah, it wasn’t even the good kind of ??, the mysterious kind
It was more like Claire’s kind of “WHY” ??
Anupa: So like a “….?”
Jef: But really though, why he can’t just turn into Smoke??
I don’t give this episode nothing.

"OKOK IT'S NOT HELL RELAX"

Knowing that the ingredients for a good LOST episode is a healthy mix of “!!” and “??” Jef and Anupa will be interrobanging the show’s final season every week. As LOST winds down to its conclusion, can its creators dish out all the needed explanations without resorting to exposition? Can they keep up the mystery without succumbing to just more mindfuckery?

Este episodio fue sobre todo en español! Increíble. Perdóneme si esto no tiene sentido. Por último, tenemos un episodio sobre Richard. Estaba lleno de disfraces y el romance y la muerte y la lucha! Can’t ask for much more than that. Apologies if that was all nonsense. I can barely speak English. Two warnings! SPOILERS and RELIGIOUS TALK after the jump:

Anupa: The opening scene reminded me of “Are You Afraid Of The Dark?”

Jef: Haha yes, yo that is in my notes.

Anupa: THIS IS WHY WE’RE FRIENDS.

Jef: I thought this was going to be Campfire Story Episode.

I’m glad it wasn’t.

Anupa: I’m not.

I mean I am, but for kitsch-factor, I’m not.

Jef: I think the nod to it was good enough for me.

I loved that shot of Richard in the shadows away from the group.

Anupa: As did I. It was a nice, simple way of setting up a relatively simple episode.

Simple in terms of how it was told.

Jef: Did you love his giggle?

My other note was “giggle was so awesome.”

Anupa: What giggle? I may have been coughing and missed it or some shit.

Jef: Oh Ilana turns to him like “this dude has the answer.”

And he just giggles

like “wtf.

No I don’t.”

Maybe it was only awesome to me.

It reminds me of the giggle I do when interviewing rappers.

Anupa: HAHA, I know that giggle from having transcribed your interviews.

Jef: Haha

Ok so yo, this episode was mad different, for a lot of reasons.

Did you like that it was 1 hour of full-time Richard fest?

Anupa: I did enjoy the Richard-fest. For multiple reasons: 1) It gave his story the time it deserves, 2) It was satisfying, 3) It was a nice break from a narrative we don’t yet understand (flash-sideways).

Your thoughts?

Jef: Yeah I liked it for a grip of reasons but most of all because it gave Richard the most heartbreaking reason possible for being immortal.

I like this show cuz it’s so fucking nuts with the genre-play but in the end it’s about the characters.

Anupa: It’s true.

I feel you on that, Richard’s always come across as straight business but in this episode we got to see a whole ‘notha side of him.

And not that we didn’t like him before, but I think that we got both context and made huge gains in character development in this episode. So we got a delicious cake and were able to eat it as well.

Jef: And eat it for a whole fucking hour, Mandarin buffet style.

Anupa: (What I dig about Mandarin is the variety of foods; it’s not just Chinese, you can get sushi, fries and pizza up in that bitch.)

Jef: Haha yeah it’s like I’m gonna have some fries with this california roll, what?

On some screenwriter shit this episode impressed me too, because this was technically the mid-point of the season, and on that Shakespeare tip this is exactly where shit starts getting real and they lived up to that.

They switched up the story structure, they upped the stakes with Jacob’s wine bottle/evil metaphor, so much good shit.

Anupa: Don’t forget all of the biblical stuff.

Which largely goes over my heathen head, but whatever, I respect it and get it to an extent.

Jef: They do it enough to make us feel it, but yeah the great part is that it’s not really the point of the show.

In the end, the point of the show is these people are damaged and we love them and holy shit submarine! Etc.

Anupa: Ahh periscope!

But yes, which I why I love our non-intense method of interrobanging. It’s for the everyman.

The everyman like Richard, who has always came off as this mega-classy dude with his crisp shirt-tucked-into-pants ensemble but was actually once a field labourer.

With a hot wife.

Jef: And chained wrists that looked like beef jerky.

Ok yo that scene where he was trying to escape from the chains

Where he dropped the nail and the boar fucked shit up for him –

Anupa: The boar was nasty. No wonder certain cultures don’t like to eat pigs: ol’ people-eating-fuckers.

Jef: Hey, for all we know people are delicious!

Anupa: How could we not be? But the point is he’s trying to fuck with the stat quo of the food chain. That shit is not on.

Anyway, what about that scene?

Jef: Oh I was saying — couldn’t Rich have reached the nail with his feet??

Them shits were not chained down.

Anupa: LOLOLOL THAT’S EXACTLY WHAT I SAID TO HANNAH (editor: the all-caps ROOMATE).

Jef: Dammit Lost, why can’t you just make an episode perfect!

Anupa: I KNOW!

That was so frustrating. YO GUY, JUST TURN AROUND.

Jef: This guy trying to grab it with his lips. smh.

Anupa: It made me feel less sorry for him, just for a second.

He should’ve tried his eyelashes.

Jef: Yeah. Rich barely even has lips. Bad strategy all around.

Anupa: Okay, so we got some cool stuff earlier in the episode: the captain of the Black Rock was Magnus Hanso, who is obviously an ancestor of Alvar Hanso (Dharma), like everyone thought, Richard was a slave on the Black Rock, we find out the ship crashes into the statue and that’s why it’s reduced to just a foot, Jacob brings the ship to the Island…

Why do you think the Smoke Monster chose to “save” or “confront” Richard instead of fucking him up?

I mean, there are some interesting parallels we can make here with Locke, because the same thing happened to him…

Jef: I think he’s looking to prey (<–zing!) on people of faith.

Like he knows those are the only ones he might actually be able to manipulate.

Which worked out with Ben

eventually

like bajillions of years later.

Anupa: *hands Smoke Monster a late pass*

Jef: lol

Then again though

he did eat Eko.

Anupa: Right, which I was just thinking about. That’s a continuity error.

Well not really continuity, but whatevs.

Okay so Richard–err sorry, Ricardo (YO WHY’D HE HAVE TO GO ANGLICIZE HIS NAME LIKE DAT?) links up with Man In Black whose name we still don’t know yet.

And MIB gives Richard the same advice about killing Jacob that we’ve heard given to two different people on two different sides: Dogen told Sayid to stab Smocke with the same (?) knife and not let him say anything beforehand.

And Smocke had previously sent Ben to kill Jacob in the same way… i.e. the man under the statue.

I’m kind of interested in the “don’t let him say anything” part… at first I thought it was some kind of weird supernatural thing, but now, obviously, it’s got to be the fact that everyone understands the power of the other’s (haha) ability to convince.

Jef: Yeah, if we go on some Yin/Yang tip we could go so far as to say both sides are equally valid.

It might not even be that either/or is mad manipulative, maybe it’s just that both are right.

Anupa: Well, that’s what I’m being more and more convinced of.

You know that I haven’t been sold on the idea that Jacob is good and Smokey is bad.

Just because one seems a little bit more malevolent than the other…

but Jacob brings people to the island to be pawns in his little game with Smokey.

Jef: True and to be honest, for the show to end on either side, aligning with faith or free will, either would piss a lot of people off and worse, be on some BSG bullshit.

To do justice to the show, the characters would have to more right than anyone, and have to grow and learn from what they’ve been through.

Anupa: And by not letting them leave (incl. Smokey), and just keeping them hanging around /tied to the island, he’s trying to subvert something that’s perceived as evil but is actually necessary and real: death.

Right: the ending would have to be about the original characters’ will, not about Jacob/Smokey.

Jef: Lol I know we are getting into some non-funny territory, but you’re right. One of things I felt about this episode was that it wasn’t on some good/evil determination/freewill steez, but that Smokey actually seemed to represent Judeo-Christian thought, and Jacob was on some eastern Zen stuff.

That whole thing about “why can’t people know to be good, I shouldn’t have to tell them” falls in line with a lot of Buddhism, especially Zen.

Anupa: (Hence also the denial that he is the “devil”–a typically monotheistic belief.)

Jef: Exactly.

That’s why he was so amused by the whole thing.

And the dunking in the water, while asshole-ish, was a good way to bring Richard into the present moment, reality, aka enlightenment.

Anupa: Well that, yes. But it is also a supremely Christian thing too… Baptism?

But I like that you saw it a different way than I did. And probably most of the audience.

Jef: True true, and it recalls Claire’s baptism.

But this one was way less…nice

Anupa: …almost forced?

Jef: And Zen teachers have a history of being assholes about everything.

But you’re right, I’m reading into it from my perspective just as everyone else is from theirs.

Anupa: But it is a nice contrast and I dig that it still plays into what we are talking about, our own perspective.

Why do you think that Jacob can`t bring Richard salvation, bring his wife back, but he can give Richard eternal life?

Does that have any Zen implications?

Jef: Definitely.

In Zen dead is dead and there is no such thing as heaven or salvation.

Anupa: Right, from what I know of Buddhism that is what I am gleaning. This is so interesting!

Jef: But “living forever” can be a metaphor for living in the present, free from “the cycle of birth and death” etc.

Anupa: YES!

Okay lets talk about the wine metaphor?

Jef: I loved it! So perfect.

And it makes Smokey leaving seem that much more dangerous.

Anupa: RIGHT, but because I am still mistrusting of Jacob I kind of took it as propaganda.

I mean, it was all so easy and convenient and I bet it was an A-HA moment for a lot of viewers, but that is exactly why I dont know if I trust it…

It is too neat…

Jef: I feel you — I feel like the show needed something like that though, to give all of this a sense of urgency.

It could be wrong.

But it was right that it happened, if that makes sense.

Anupa: Well yes, because it was a great light-bulb moment.

Jef: What did you think of Jacob? He was much more of a character in this one.

Kind of a douchebag.

Anupa: Proving my theory…!

I mean, I kind of honestly do not understand why Richard came over to his side so easily?

Jef: This is interesting in what it says about us.

We’re suspicious of the other person. And I can’t articulate it right now, but I totally get why Rich picked the side he did.

Anupa: Well that is not helpful!

Jef: Haha!

Are you religious?

Haha you don’t have to answer that.

…

Did Anupa just disappear?

Anupa was a ghost

omg

Anupa: I am wearing a white sheet right now (no KKK-o)

No, I am not.

Speaking to organized religion specifically: I just cannot wrap my head around the idea that we are all stuck on this planet together and have to choose between so many paths to salvation, and that choosing between these paths, or just the fact that these paths exist, would cause so much bad stuff to happen.

Jef: (haha damn)

Anupa: I believe in morality, but I don’t think it necessarily has religious implications. Unless I guess you count karma.

Jef: Well there you go though — that kinda touches nicely on why I would have chosen Jacob as well and why I got Rich’s decision.

Jacob didn’t offer salvation.

He offered him a job.

You know?

Anupa: Right, it’s something he can go on.

Jef: He’s like, “I can’t save you man.” And that’s real talk.

Did you like the ghost scene at the end?

And by ghost scene, I mean Ghost scene

with Hurley as Whoopi Goldberg.

Anupa: I am singing Unchained Melody right now

Give me a minute…

Jef: to sing?

awesome

Anupa: Yes.

Okay.

Sorry, that movie gets me sometimes… I always need a second when I think about it.

Anyway, okay so I was kind of creeped out by Hugo talking to no one on the beach.

But then when I found out it was Hisa-bel

it was all good.

I mean, whatever it takes to keep Richard going you know?

Jef: It was sweet.

I’m just glad they didn’t go full-Ghost and have Hurley stroking Rich’s face.

Anupa: I also liked that we got to see Hurley speaking Spanish.

Jef: Yes! This episode was hell of Telemundo.

Anupa: It was a nice Hispanic quadrangle there, instead of that gringo shit ju know?

*edit to triangle

Jef: Lol i laughed at the triangle thing even though I didn’t really get it.

Anything we missed?

Anupa: I dont think so.

Jef: Yeah, nothing left in my notes except hearts.

Anupa: In honour of this Latinific episode, I give it an inverted interrobang

ole¡

Jef: Haha okay I think I will end it there.

Anupa: thats raaacist

Whatever, guys. Can we just... do something else now?

Knowing that the ingredients for a good LOST episode is a healthy mix of “!!” and “??” Jef and Anupa will be interrobanging the show’s final season every week. As LOST winds down to its conclusion, can its creators dish out all the needed explanations without resorting to exposition? Can they keep up the mystery without succumbing to just more mindfuckery?  Last week we were pleased to discover that Miles was finding stuff to do, so you can imagine our delight when  he showed up early on in “Recon.” Not that this was a Miles episode anyway, but since the majority of this recap will involve exploring the depths of Sawyer’s  ungodly good looks (along with deciphering Smoke-Locke’s intentions and Sayid’s hilarious newfound nonchalance) I figured I should begin misleadingly. SPOILERS after the jump:

Anupa: Sawyer is so hot. I would lick cake batter off his body.

Jef: Haha ok. Yes. Good start.

Anupa: #justsayin

Okay, but really. I enjoyed this episode a lot; for some reason, Sawyer and Miles make a fantastic team.

I really enjoy watching them together… maybe it’s because they are both sarcastic jerks?

Jef: I think we’re switching places from the Sayid episode. I liked this one in parts, but overall it kinda missed me.

But yes, I like Sawyer and Miles as a team. I also liked their break-up scene where Miles throws him into the locker.

It was very Saved By The Bell.

Anupa: Well, with Sawyer I feel like they’re obviously catering to female fans, so the storyline suffers a bit.

Is that wrong of me to say? I feel like it’s the truth in a sense. It’s very..shirtless-scene, big reveal, witty one liner, wry emotion, shirtless-scene.

Maybe I’m simplifying Sawyer.

Jef: Lol don’t get me wrong—I love Sawyer, no pause, he totally owned last season.

This episode just didn’t feel tight.

Anupa: The logical part of my brain sees that but my female hormones are vehemently disagreeing with you.

Jef: That sounds so menacing!

Ok let’s talk some shit:

Do you think Miles can break bread with ghosts in this reality?

Anupa: I was wondering about that. I think that that might be some type of continuity thing; they all seem to retain the vaguely special/significant things about them, and in terms of Miles, aside from his Dad being whats-his-face-with-the-fake-arm, that’s his “thing.”

Jef: Hm yeah you’re right, and that’s a big testament to how thin his character is in Reality Prime.

Once you erase his daddy issues, there’s not much left aside from him calling Sawyer “boss.”

Anupa: And occasional meany-ness.

Since we’re on the topic of Miles, what did you think of Charlotte’s return?

Jef: They even took away his lechery!

“I have a girlfriend.” Whatever!

The Charlotte thing just felt extra to me.

Of course I like the “everyone is connected” bit, it’s one of the meaningful aspects of the show, but I don’t see the point of it with her. That had NO connection to who she was on the island.

Anupa: Right… it was random.

But didn’t you thinking she looked smoking?

Jef: LOL

Anupa: I totally have a thing for gingers.

Jef: I was waiting for her to get a nosebleed.

Anupa: Gross!!!

Also, I felt like she was totally prying and not just looking for a shirt after her and Sawyer did it.

Like, it almost felt like she was up to something…

Reading too much into it?

Jef: Yeah, it was almost like Miles sent her on purpose, which would tie into the “Recon” theme, but they didn’t sell that.

Anupa: OH. That’s totally it.

DUH.

Jef: Naw, they didn’t make it clear. It’s a miss!

Anupa: Can I just add that you don’t go looking in someone’s drawer when they say they’re going to get a glass of water? That is indicative of a prompt return.

If you’re gonna snoop, do it when they take a dump or shower.

That was just bad timing on her part.

Jef: Yeah and I don’t see the big deal about lying about it.

Just be like “Yo, I found this picture you keep in your drawer with your dead parents because you told me go in the drawer to get a t-shirt.”

Anupa: Also, in other Charlotte-related grievances, why would she give him the screwface when he brought her a flower?

I mean, she has got to be fucking some fly-ass men to turn that down.

Jef: Awwwwww, sunflower and a six-pack.

I’m totally stealing that.

Anupa: Sawyer knows what’s up.

But, I think all of this illustrates that Sideways Sawyer’s storyline was definitely a little thin…

We find out he is still looking for his dad, blah blah blah.

Jef: Yeah I was going to say—what’s the point of giving him this big change of heart, but really he hasn’t had a change of heart?

Anupa: I like how they set it up as ‘this is what would happen if he chose the other path,’ but after that, the episode depended heavily on his swooniness.

Jef: At least Sayid was FORCED into a situation that brought him back to where he was. Here Sawyer’s like, “I chose the path of righteousness! But I’m still gonna kill the motherfucker.”

Wanna head to the island for a bit?

First off what the hell is up with Claire’s tent? It’s made scrap metal and shit?

It looked like the end of The Brave Little Toaster.

Anupa: HAHAHAHA Claire is hilarious.

Also I love The Brave Little Toaster.

They are writing her craziness so poorly.

“AND THEN… SHE WILL NEATLY FOLD THE BLANKET OVER HER CREEPY ANIMAL SKULL CHILD.”

Jef: LOL

Also, her attack on Kate was way too random.

Anupa: Yeah the ambush was dumb, especially since it was preceded by Claire holding Kate’s hand.

I loved that scene when Kate walked in to the tent and was like all like “Yo guy, what is dat?” Because it’s what we’re all thinking, and then Claire got all embarrassed by it.

Jef: It sucks because De Ravin is surprisingly good at being crazy. But yeah the writers are wasting it.

LOL she got all sheepish like “Oh..this old thing?”

Anupa: Once again, too cliche, horror-movie scary

HAH

And then the Kate-Claire hug later on….I wished Claire just committed to the crazy and stabbed Kate in the neck or some shit.

Jef: They’re going back and forth between making her lucid and making her totally insane, and it’s not playing well. Just choose one.

Anupa: Exactly.

Jef: What’d you think of Sayid’s level of crazy?

Anupa: I LOVED IT!

It was hilarious. He looked sooooooo nonchalant. And Naveen Andrews plays bored VERY well.

Come to think of it, everyone who is acting crazy is coming off as hilarious so maybe this is more atrocious than I am interpreting it as.

But didn’t you just guffaw a little when he stayed chilling on that log.

Jef: “Are you ok?”

Anupa: * yawn *

Jef: “No.”

I like that his infection is really just making him emo.

Anupa: He needs to borrow Richard’s guyliner.

Jef: It would be awesome if he was like, “I’m BUSY! God!”

Anupa: From there, what is Smocke’s deal?

Jef: Ok yeah, the episode was ehhh for me but thumbs up for the scene with Smokes and Kate!

That “I had a crazy mother” bit is great Lost because it is an answer and a question at the same time.

Anupa: Right.

I also loved the comparison, that now Aaron has a crazy mother.

First, because it was funny that Smocke called Claire crazy, because she is.

Second, because I do not know what it means for Aaron, but I find it interesting.

Jef: Oh yeah, so many things to think about now with Aaron.

Anupa: Is he going to be the next Smokey?

Jef: Remember back when the psychic told Claire that bad things would happen if anyone else raises Aaron? Now Smokes is pretty much validating Kate’s decision to adopt.

I dunno if he’ll be Smokey—maybe! I still have this feeling that Walt and Aaron play into all this in the same way.

And baby Kwon.

Anupa: Well their presence would be pointless if not.

“Bad things” happen to other people maybe. I.e. Claire goes crazy

Jef: Crazy hot.

Anupa: .

Moving on.

I like how Smocke said he would get everyone off the island, but does that just mean he is moving them to Hydra island… i.e. is he playing a game of semantics?

Jef: AHahahah imagine??

What an asshole!

Anupa: “I did take you off the island, but I didnt say WHERE I was taking you!”

Jef: Fade to black.

Anupa: That would be like the No Homers Club on The Simpsons.

Jef: That would be the craziest finale ever.

Anupa: I am actually losing my mind laughing at the No Homers Club right now—that shit was funny.

Jef: “We said no Homersssss.”

Anupa: HAHAHA YES.

Okay but back to Smocke’s intentions:

Is he good or bad…? What sense are you getting?

Jef: What I love about Smokes is that he’s very upfront about shit.

He’s like “Yeah, I’m that smoke thing.”

“You’re right, I’m not Locke.”

So I believe him that he just wants off the fucking island.

Anupa: Well, not really though… he told everyone that the Smoke Monster killed the people in the temple but he only told certain people that he is the Smoke Monster.

If he really was being straight, he would have said that HE killed the people in the temple.

So, he is being selective to an extent.

Jef: Haha yeah, but you know what I mean right? This where the Satan parallel comes in again, because yeah he’s playing mindgames to his advantage, but he ain’t really lying.

Honestly though, if anyone reading this has some sort of Judeo-Christian knowledge help me out:

Is there a Jacob in there with an evil brother and a crazy mother? Because the whole vibe is biblical to me.

Anupa: True say, guy.

Time to read the bible!

Jef: Noooooooo!

Anupa: Widmore: what is his deal and what is in that locked room?

Jef: Shit, I have no idea.

But I HOPE it is Reality 2 Faraday!

Anupa: I hope it is another Smoke Monster and then there will be a Smoke Monster duel!

ROUND ONE…. FIGHT!

Jef: Oh man smoke vs. smoke, that’s like Sub Zero v. Scorpion.

Anupa: LOL

Jef: Who do you think had the better mirror smash?

Sawyer or Jack?

Anupa: Sawyer, because his was a dreamier smash.

Jef: Fair enough.

Anupa: I still do not understand what Widmore wants with the Island, because now it is Jacob versus Smokey versus Widmore?

Jef: Yeah it’s weird because Widmore wants the island, but Smoke doesn’t.

Where’s the conflict?

Anupa: TRADESIES!

Jef: I guess obvs they have a past together and some unsettled scores…shrugs.

Anupa: Does that shrug denote that you are content to passively watch how this plays out?

Jef: Yup. I dunno what’s up with Widmore but I’m confident it’s going somewhere. It’s not annoying me or nothing.

Anupa: It’s annoying me. Also, because the dude who plays Widmore is on, like, every TV show ever.

So he just seems like a random dude to me instead of *DUN DUN DUN * WIDMORE

He was on The OC for shits sake.

Jef: For real? He must be one of those character actors who blends in all the time because I have no idea who he is.

Anupa: Well he is, because I don’t know his name, he just plays some villainous old white dude.

All the time.

He must be the first guy they call when they are casting a villainous old white guy.

Jef: He’s got this diet-Brian Cox vibe, yeah.

Yo, that cliffhanger was SO WEAK.

“We’re taking the sub.”

WOW. The sub over the BROKEN PLANE?

Anupa: Yeah, it was a little Bruckheimer.

Jef: Well shit, let me just spit my food out.

Anupa: Don’t get any on me.

What is your final verdict?

Jef: I’m giving it the side-eye. It wasn’t bad but I didn’t see the point of half of it. Just a ‘lil !. No ?

Anupa: And I give it a <3

Jef: Gross. You should make “La Fleur” your safe word.

Anupa: Whatever papi! I’m out. BTW I’m taking the sub.

Jef: NO WAY!

"When I go out, I'm going out in style."

Knowing that the ingredients for a good LOST episode is a healthy mix of “!!” and “??” Jef and Anupa will be interrobanging the show’s final season every week. As LOST winds down to its conclusion, can its creators dish out all the needed explanations without resorting to exposition? Can they keep up the mystery without succumbing to just more mindfuckery?

This week I noticed we were numbering our episodes incorrectly because we didn’t count the premiere as two episodes, which it technically was. Nothing that a lil’ time travel through the archives didn’t fix! And so here we are magically at episode seven, “Dr. Linus”, where Richard tries to go out with a bang and Miles finds something to do and god we hope we’re just imagining this sexual tension between Ben and Alex! Sorry, I guess this SPOILER ALERT came too late? More after the jump:

Jef: So yesterday you were all like ‘I need to let it marinate!’

Why so?

Besides the fatigue, of course.

Anupa: Because, I felt like sooo much happened and it was such an intense episode. And that + running on not much sleep = difficult to verbalize.

The worst part is though, that I still don’t feel ready to talk about the episode LOL

I mean, I know what I loved: the terrific acting, the great story, the return of ALEX, the references to Nikki and Paulo who seem like some kind of LOST-related inside joke/meme more than real cast members….

Sigh, so much to love.

Jef: I fucking adored the Nikki and Paulo reference, because that is one of my favourite episodes.

Back when LOST had time to slow down and have fun.

I feel like the show is always two steps ahead of us.

Last week we were talking about Ben and Miles having nothing to do

and this week? Ben and Miles.

I guess that’s more like one step ahead of us. But still. AHEAD.

Anupa: Yes, even when we don’t think it is (because we’re stupid), it totally is.

Where do we start?

I loved talking about redemption and stuff last week because this week it was so obviously imbued in Ben’s storyline.

I mean, the writers are now starting to beat you over the head with the themes, but they do it in a fantastic way. Well it’s either that, or the actors. That scene between Dr. Linus and his dad (so totally endearing) could have been the depths of ironic and bad: “IMAGINE, SON! WHAT IF WE STAYYYYED ON THE ISLAND!”

But it didn’t. I mean, it did in a didn’t way.

Ya smell me?

(not literally)

Jef: You’re definitely right about the actors, especially with Emerson. He sold the dad scene, but also the blackmail scene and the FORGIVENESS scene which were hard fucking scenes to sell.

(look at all those scene words!)

Anupa: Seen guy

Jef: On the topic of redemption — Ben got it in both realities, didn’t he? That’s something new, and not something I would have expected for him.

Anupa: Yes. I loved it. And he wore it so well.

Like, we’ve been trained to see Ben act a certain way—always one step ahead, always manipulative, always in control (even when he’s not)

But seeing him trailing behind the principal (“Walk with me”) or confessing to Ilana…

It was so unexpected, but still not out of character.

Jef: “Because he’s the only one who’ll have me!”

Anupa: AHHH!

I loved that line.

Jef: That’s right up there with John’s “But I don’t understand.”

MONEY LINES.

Anupa: For real.

Speaking of John, I loved that scene in the lunchroom with Arzt (!!!) when he encouraged Ben to take the principal’s job.

There was so much awesome between-the-lines-iness there

I mean, the fact that Ben usually comes up with the schemes, the way Ben usually influences people to do things, how Locke willingly said “I’ll follow you.” They mirrored the way we know them, but in a completely seemingly unrelated arc.

Jef: Yeah and also different enough for us to chew on. Here we have Locke egging on Ben instead of the other way around.

Anupa: It was Locke influencing Ben to follow power, instead of vice versa.

Exactly.

Jef: I also like that we see Artz in the same episode that we re-visit the pile of shit (pirate ship)

Anupa: Yes!

I hated how blasé they were about handling the dynamite.

I mean I know they “can’t” die or whatever—and I know we got a great, memorable death scene outta Artz—but that was annoying.

Jef: They’re both mad self-destructive though.

Anupa: I don’t think Richard was self-destructive until then. And, I mean, it was kind of justified given what happened… he had nothing to go off of anymore.

I’d wanna off myself too. In a fucking jungle with a smoke monster and my dude is dead.

Jef: Well yeah that’s what I mean though. In that moment, he wanted to die. And Jack’s always been reckless with his body body.

Anupa: His body body? As opposed to his body?

LOL

Jef: Yeah, I sing-songed it in my head.

Anupa: Hurley was hilarious “I’ll be like, a mile away.”

Jef: LOL

I am really happy about how these teams are turning out

with Richard and Ben on Team Jacob.

Do you think Sun and Jin will ultimately be on opposing sides?

:(

Anupa: Yes. And I think it’s going to figure into exposing some kind of weakness in either side…

Like, they’re not going to turn on each other per se… but either they’re going to have to choose for “the greater good” or they’re going to break rank causing shit to hit the fan.

Jef: Honestly I’m thinking Jin fucks up. Last week we saw Sayid NOT get reality-2 redemption and we also saw Jin caught up in the same mess. I don’t think he’s gonna get “saved”. I’m saying, Jin stays getting fucked around man.

Anupa: Well, we didn’t actually see what happened with Jin.

Jef: What are your feelings on Jack? He’s kind of shifted to Locke’s old role, which I find really interesting since they were always on opposite ends.

Anupa: Well, I mean I understand the rationale behind him all of a sudden shifting to this “Man of Faith” but it still feels very out of character. That doesn’t feel like Jack, it doesn’t feel natural—maybe the progression wasn’t done well.

I mean, this very well may be his new purview but, I’m saying, I don’t fully believe it.

Not that that matters… LOL

Jef: No you’re right — Locke reached his believer role out of pure faith. Jack’s just tired and beaten and this is where he’s ended up. He doesn’t know what to think anymore and Jacob’s kinda had to push him around a bit, but here he is nonetheless.

Anupa: I mean, they spent sooo much time making Jack a resister. Now he just buys it, you’re right, he’s just tired. This is easier?

Jef: I buy it. People find faith at the end of their rope, which Jack’s been at for a couple of episodes now. And now that the spyglass showed him that yeah, something special is up with him he’s willing to admit at least that there’s something going on.

Anupa: But that’s not genuine, you could see it in how he laughed post-almost-dying: he’s maniacal and frantic.

Jef: Lol he’s existential like that. Fate is a tragic comedy.

Anupa: On a side note, I laughed real hard when Richard showed up and Jack was like “So tell us what’s going on?” and Richard was like “Not yet”—it felt like the writers were joshing us.

Richard: “Not yet!”

Jack: “Mmmkay!”

Jef: Haha yeah that’s how I felt in the other ep where Smokey was like “Time to talk, Richard.” And then Richard pretty much runs away into the forest.

Anupa: He’s like a crazy, emotional woman.

I mean that in the least un-feminist way possible.

Jef: Richard? Haha yeah, with his impeccable mascara.

Anupa: I am jealous of his well-defined eyes.

Jef: I like that he always kills it with the hairstyle.

Anupa: So this means that Richard has a purpose still.

Jef: I hope his purpose is EXPLAINING STUFF.

Anupa: LOL

Not yet.

Jef: Lol so back to reality 2 for a second

Were you scared that Ben was gonna hook up with Alex??

Anupa: AHAHHAHAHA TOTALLY

Jef: I was like WHY IS SHE THERE AT NIGHT

GROSSSSSS

Anupa: TRUST ME!

The library scene: ARE THEY FLIRTING?

Jef: Yeah dude she pulled up next to him and everything.

The writers are messed up. You KNOW they did that on purpose just for kicks.

Anupa: Orrrrr our pedo-meter is always on high alert.

I was also really really hoping we’d get to see Rousseau again.

Like, a lot.

Mostly because I want to know what that actress looks like all clean and shit.

Jef: I’m thinking she looks like Richard.

Anupa: Alex?

Jef: Haha no nvm

Anupa: OH

LOL

So basically Ben’s storyline made us feel all warm and gushy and happy and shit.

Jef: Haha yeah. It drove home that he’s kind of a sweet guy.

Man this episode is hard to talk about, because there is all the serious PLOT stuff going on

But also so many nice small moments I want to touch on.

Anupa: Like when we find out that Ben sacrifices the position for Alex?

Like when he’s heating up organic food for his once-an-asshole dad?

UGH! BEN <3

Jef: Yeah and the scene with the dad with the veggies

Yeah!

Anupa: LOL

Jef: Fuck let’s just list them all

GO!

Anupa: When he offered Artz his parking spot at the end.

Jef: Miles reading Jacob’s mind and sarcastically being like “Uh-oh!” to Ben.

Anupa: Digging his own grave.

Jef: Hurley waking up with “CHEESE CURDS!”

Anupa: LOL!

Jef: Dude Ben’s grave was perfectly rectangle! That guy has skills.

Anupa: AHAHAH I noticed that too.

If I had to dig my own grave, I’d make it into a heart shape.

Or a dollar sign.

They’d have to lay me in it all squiggly.

Jef: Yeah we’ll snake you into it.

(I like how I picture myself there at the funeral.)

My favourite moment of course was the slow-motion beach reunion.

Which gets me EVERYTIME.

Anupa: YES! LOST has the slow mo, sappy music, everyone hugging, with one bad seed lurking in the background-scene down pat.

Jef: I want that scene in my life.

Anupa: Next time I see you, let’s run to each other slow mo.

Jef: It HAS to be the beach. With the music.

And Walt’s dog.

Anupa: I was trying to make this do-able but now you’re just being extra.

I liked Jack’s line about going back to the beach to start the beginning. It sets up the search for answers really nicely.

Jef: You’re right, being back at the beach sets everything up.

We have them back home, and Smokey over on the other island just like the Others.

It’s war time

or Widmore time, at least.

Anupa: What the hell was up with that?!

I don’t remember anything about Widmore, so I forgot what role he plays in all of this.

Except for the fact that he’s Penny and Farraday’s dad.

And that he used to be on the Island but got kicked off.

Jef: He’s Ben’s nemesis, they were always fighting for control of the island.

Anupa: Right. Also, I hate submarines.

They’re mad sinister.

If I saw a periscope on the beach I’d lose my shit.

Jef: Periscopes are scary!

I don’t think a submarine can beat Smokey though

We should do rock paper scissors with submarine, smoke monster, and Kate’s guns.

And yes, I mean her biceps.

?

Anupa: Kate’s guns would lose every time.

Jef: That’s why the game is fun!

Anupa: Submarine, smoke monster and that fucking weirdo fence.

Jef: Ooooh

Submarine, smoke monster, hydrogen bomb?

Anupa: Yes!

Jef: Lol. Anything else you’d like to touch on?

Besides Richard being “touched” by Jacob

Anupa: Yes! This might be obvious, but did Ilana bring Jacob’s ash because she knew Miles would be able to tell her what happened?

Or was that all purely fluke.

Jef: I’m thinking she knew.

She knew that Miles had nothing do to.

Ilana was good in the forgiveness scene too. I wasn’t expecting to ever like anything she did.

Anupa: Me neither. I’ve been holding a grudge against her because I have no idea who she is or where she came from.

f

oops that was an unintentional f

Jef: Haha I was like damn, Anupa is frustrated about Ilana.

Anupa: It was subliminal.

Jef: She deserves it.

Anupa: Alright, verdict? Since I gotta get the hell out of here?

Jef: Very much an Interrobang.

Anupa: Mine is more of an !

Excitement! Happiness! Not ending on a fucking irritating note!

Ben!

Jef: Awesome.

Should we be like this episode and end with a surprise guest appearance?

Anupa: Whatchu mean?

Simon has joined

Jef: Hey Simon.

Simon: Sup?

Jef: L O S T

Simon: What?

Jef: (I know I’m the only one laughing, but I’m laughing hard)

Anupa: Jef, you’re relying on gags now to sell our Interrobang.

STOP CHEAPENING IT.

Simon: Just post it!