We are everybody! But who the hell is this guy?

Knowing that the ingredients for a good LOST episode is a healthy mix of “!!” and “??” Jef and Anupa will be interrobanging the show’s final season every week. As LOST winds down to its conclusion, can its creators dish out all the needed explanations without resorting to exposition? Can they keep up the mystery without succumbing to just more mindfuckery? SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER. Shit gets geeky after the jump:

Jef: Ok

let’s Interrobang this shit

Anupa: Word

you start

Jef: The OPENING

When Blondie hits the bomb with the rock and it goes white and then we start AGAIN with Jack opening his eyes

How’d you feeeeel?

Anupa: Dude, i watched the “leaked” four minutes. and my immediate reaction was “here we go again, ugh!” but then….Jack looked disoriented, and then CINDY handed him one bokkle of vodka instead of two!

so i figured, okay they’re on to something

Jef: Bokkle! I avoided the leak, because that’s how I roll. When the camera dives into the ocean and we see the whole shit underwater though, that was cheesy, right? Just me?

Anupa: It was mad cheesy

and mad frustrating

the graphics were so bad too, and i was watching it on HD!

Jef: HD ruins everything!

Anupa: Did your heart not melt when Rose and Bernard were eskimo kissing and shit?

i love them, and i hope they tie into the ultimate ending somehow.

Jef: Omg NO. I hate Bernard and Rose! This recap is over.

Anupa: “Heartless”-kanye west

Jef: How do you feel about Desmond being on the plane??

Anupa: Um

Jef: In terms of the interrobang, that gets a big ?? from me

Anupa: First of all, Desmond is probably one of my favourite characters so I was initially excited to see him. But really, it’s just a big WTF because it raises a million other questions

one of which is, so where’s Penny?

Jef: Yes and YES, brother

Anupa: LOL

and i was kind of confused that Jack didn’t recognize him from LA

i mean, how long did it take them to figure that out on the island?

Jef: You’re exactly right. If everything up to the plane ride is essentially the same, then he SHOULD recognize him from jump

but that’s the other ?? part — shit is NOT the same up to the plane ride

Anupa: YEAH

Jef: Hence why Hurley is now “the luckiest guy in the world”

Anupa: YEAH

when he said that I yelled at the TV “no you’re not!”

also, Sawyer still seemed smarmy, but not surly

Jef: Moreso though: parallel universe!! are you okay with this?

Anupa: No.

Jef: Haha

Anupa: Honestly, i refuse to believe they’d make it this complicated

Jef: Didn’t you watch Star Trek?

Anupa: Yeah, TNG

Jef: No no, the JJ Abrams reboot. With Neytiri and the sexy guys.

I feel you on the complication factor, but multiverses get me kind of hard, even though they rarely pull through and be the awesome they can be

Anupa: I’m still stuck on them (Cuse and Lindeloff) saying back around s.3 that there would be a logical explanation for everything.

but okay… so we’ve basically got to accept the fact that instead of the past couple of seasons moving back and forth through time, we’ve got two separate (maybe) realities happening, correct?

Jef: Exactly. We’ve gone from flashbacks, to flash-forwards, to time travel, to diff. realities

i’m cool with all that, but what gets me is how they’re going to reconcile this

do we end up with 2 Jacks and 2 Sawyers etc meeting face to face or sending messages through the ether?

Anupa: That would be really cool. jumping ahead, that would be really cool in the context of that awesome Jack/Locke scene in the airport

what did you make of Charlie stuffing the drugs down his throat then being all “thanks but no thanks” to Jack?

Jef: It hit a good note, because it drives home that a lot of went down on the island was about redemption and second chances

Jack gets to erase some deaths and more importantly his broken boo-hoo heart, but he screws over mad people in the process

Anupa: Hey, didn’t Locke totally fool you into thinking “well, since everything else is different, maybe he’s not in the wheelchair?” after that convo with Boone? Turns out that he was lying.

Jef: BOOOOONE

yo did Maggie Grace flop on them or something? Boone without the creepy sister love is just a dude with Gossip Girl hair

Anupa: I think that was one of the saddest things of the whole two hours for me. Seeing Locke, who became such a Robinson Crusoe through his adventures, back to not having experienced any of that

Jef: Oh god, so much of Locke makes me sad! We’ll get to that later.

Are you sad about Juliet?

Anupa: I am sad about Juliet, mostly in the context of Sawyer/Juliet

Jef: Yes, Juliet made Sawyer awesome

Anupa: But also because she was a great character

i wish they explored what she would have been privy to knowing

Jef: You’re right though, we got no knowledge from Juliet. And we spent a YEAR with the Dharma initiative and didn’t learn anything except that they were a bunch of drunken hippies

But the Bigger Mystery has been revealed for us!

How do you feel about Jacob?

Anupa: I’m not convinced that he’s good. Just because he seems like he’s “helping” the characters we know

and is the adversary of the Man in Black/Fake Locke/Smokey

I think the writers have led us to make assumptions, but haven’t really given us anything concrete

Jef:  Two things about Jacob:

Anupa: Shoot.

Jef: I’m not feeling how he’s appeared in all of their lives previously. This does NATHAN for me — I already knew everyone was connected. This just made the connection stupid for me.

and 2) he just looks like some scruffy T-dot hipster dude in a bar!

Anupa: Hahaha, he totally does. We should call him @jacob

Jef: Done! @jacob

Anupa: Well he didn’t appear in EVERYONE’S life did he?

Jef: RT @jacob (korean korean)

no, you’re right. at least not “yet”.

Anupa: So moving off of Jacob, what about the big reveal re: MIB/Smokey

That was cool

Any ideas as to what Smokey actually is?

Jef: I’m just glad smokey is an actual character

i thought they were gonna rest on the whole “it’s a guard dog” thing

But as they reduced some of the mystical shit down to digestible terms, they also introduced some other mumbo jumbo

i.e. Asian Fu-Manchu man and the Lazarus pit

I’M NOT FEELING ASIAN FU-MANCHU MAN

Anupa: He’s such a snob. “I don’t like the way English tastes on my tongue”

And trimming his little plants

Jef: Oh god i know

WHYYY

Anupa: It’s okay

Jef: I understand the need for the writers to throw in every genre trope from the treasure chest, but that shit wasn’t so much offensive as it was unnecessary. I get nothing from that. I felt like I was watching Xena.

Anupa: I watched Xena for a bit. Then it got insane and extra for a show about a hot fighting chick

Jef: I totally went through a Xena phase! (that sounds wrong?)

Anupa: And honestly, they’re just fucking with obsessives, because now I’m going to be fixated on why he doesn’t speak Engrish.

Jef: Grrrr.

So the internet is saying that Jacob is now in the body of Sayid.

Anupa: I totally think that.

Jef: Poor Sayid.

Anupa: Here’s the thing about the temple water though

IF Fumanchu’s hand didn’t heal

why did he decide to dunk Sayid?

Jef: Oh yes, lots of not-sense going on in that temple!

Anupa: AND, when Sayid didn’t wake up, how come they didn’t freak the fuck out? After breaking open the ankh and reading the paper (list?) he said if Sayid died they’d be in a lot of trubz.

Jef: YES

Anupa: Instead, he went back to pruning

Jef: Temple: Hated It.

Anupa: Sun/Jin: Do you think maybe the “reset” altered Sun and Jin’s course… and maybe Sun actually can’t speak English?

Jef: Oh wow. That makes as much sense as the Hurley thing, so yes, maybe

And I’m sad that Jin is still an asshole

Anupa: Some people think Claire might not be pregnant, but then she’d have a completely different reason for going to LA. Thoughts?

Jef: We didn’t see the belly, huh?

I dunno, I’m just glad to have Claire back. She’s pretty!

I think the biggest new-universe development is Jack’s missing father-body.

Foreboding!

Anupa: Forebody-ing

Jef: *applause*

Is Christian not able to travel across realities?

Did it wake him up?

I hate you, Christian.

Anupa: I think the Christian thing might be the most confusing element yet

I have absolutely no theories on it

Jef: On some fun shit though: who are you looking forward to returning?

aside from Claire, of course, because she is pretty

Anupa: Walt and Libby

Jef: LIBBY

haha Walt

Anupa: WAAAALT

Jef: They NEED to resolve Walt, but I also HATE Walt

Anupa: Those are probably two fascinating stories that won’t get told

Spin-off!

Locke:

Jef: OH YES.

When Smokey-Locke is like, ‘Locke’s dying thoughts were “I don’t understand”‘

that shit just broke my heart

The show had these two typical themes that 1) we can start over again and 2) we had a destiny. Locke embodied these things and wiping him out in THAT way puts the show in this sad place where ok yeah, we get free will, but we already HAD that.

The fantasy was that all our fucked up choices either could be erased or we could find redemption or that they were all a part of a Bigger Plan. Locke dying is depressing. Extra for the way he went out. But holy crap GOOD TELEVISION!

Anupa: Yeah, they completely built up this whole validating arc and then dashed it.

How wonderful would it be if Jack/Locke in LA worked as a team to interact with/affect what happens on the island?

Jef: And in the end, it’s WHEELCHAIR Locke that proves to be the most powerful character?

Anupa: Yes.

Jef: Hey wow. I believe you.

So was the premier a ! or a ? for you?

or an INTERROBANG?

Anupa: Definitely an interrobang

i’m thoroughly confused

Jef: Yes. But satisfied.